All Comments on 'Teacher and His Former Student'

You have a few problems to iron out.

Firstly, there are missing words and clunky constructions in your text. These can mostly be removed by reading the story slowly to yourself, aloud.

My main comment is reserved for the construction of the story itself. Don't exaggerate 24 former students in 15 years? Cr*p! Character development and scene setting - not enough. Description of sex - non-existent. In short, everything is rushed and poorly written.

You really need an editor to advise you.

The story was hot. Want to see more stories, all 30 if you can.

I am new to this. I appreciate the feedback. I will an an editor look this over.

My stories are based on real events so I try to keep them as close to reality as I can (while obviously changing specific details that could identify anyone in real life). As such, I try not to speculate about things outside my knowledge like what the girls were thinking or were attracted to. Just the facts.

This could’ve been an awesome story, but it reads like you’re telling it to a buddy you’re having a beer with. It needs anticipation, a build up and background between the 2 characters. Remember, the devil’s in the details.

Good luck on your writing. Keep developing.

More detail of the actual fucking/penetration etc.

That being said, I rubbed one out based on your story. What more do I want?

Thanks, vesperum

Good start but the sec scene was lame

What a hoot and glimpse into the demise of public education this is. Cock stupid jocks become teacher and just like the moronic teenagers they will always be, can't control their genitals. Then, their marriages crash, family is fatherless and the jock teach ends up shot or beaten up by an angry spouse. Real erotic. Loser.