All Comments on 'Teed Off Ch. 03'

after the first two chapters were in Novels does not seem like a good idea to me. I almost missed this chapter.

You suddenly switched POV on the last page. The entire tale was in first person until "Tim stood ready to leave. Holding her hand as he did." You went third person for a paragraph.

Keep posting stories. I do think you need to trim a lot of the fluff you toss in. Focus on the story and leave out some of the tangents. I will be looking for more from you. Thanks for the time and effort you spent on this for us readers.

I liked the story very much but the travel log portion was too long and boring. It bordered on pretentious. Overall I think its a 4.5 star story.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Thank you for writing it! You commented at end about shortening future stories, I hope you don't. I enjoy a good long read. If anything, you lengthen it a tad by spending a little time describing the love making. ;-)

I was in a marriage that was similar to Tim and Janet and was in it for less than half the time they were. It is now almost 20 years later and I still have a very hard time to keep any discussion civil.

Now less than 2 years later after all the pain he is seduced by her (and with help from the kids and friends) into a new relationship.

I do not buy it. The pain would be too great. I don't care how much she changed. The pain is real and you can taste it.

On the bright side, I generally loved the story. I do agree with HDK, the travel portion was really lengthy.

Now a golf question. I am very familiar with the sport, but not the specific rules. The Senior Open paid out $314K to the winner last year. If an amateur wins, do they get the purse as well? I would assume so, but I have no idea.

Thanks for the story.

Val

Thanks. I enjoyed it.

It was hard to feel sympathy for the husband because he was so passive and weak.

When his wife turned into a bitter harridan, he just let her treat him like a doormat and put up with her shit. If he'd just bit the bullet and confronted her when it started, she would have buckled and turned into the Stepford wife she was in the end. Instead, he wasted over a decade being miserable when he could have moved on and easily replaced her with a woman who wasn't a complete bitch.

Even after he finally gets a divorce he then lived like a monk. He'd been pretty much celibate for over a decade; the first thing he'd do when he was free would be get laid... a lot! They only reason he didn't was for you to set up a reconciliation with Janet... which makes the story feel incredibly contrived.

When you write a reconciliation story, you need to balance the severity of the spouse's marital crimes against their acts of atonement. The wife might not have cheated on him, but she subjected the husband to severe emotional abuse for 15 years. She refused to speak to him for 6 month stretches... the woman was a complete sociopath!

After being the victim of that kind of torture (death by a thousand cuts was right), there's no way in hell he'd forgive her. This story is like a woman married to a wife-beater that puts up with 15 years of abuse for the sake of the kids, finally leaves the monster, only to get browbeaten into giving them another chance.

That's pretty much the feeling I was left with when Tim buckled and got back together with a woman that made most of his adult life a misery.

Loved it. You obviously research the places that you write about and bring them to life. Only slight thing is it takes about 90 minutes from Edinburgh to St Andrews and if playing a tournament it would make sense to stay there or somewhere near by. Apart from that you are a really good writer and I hope to read more soon. 5 stars

He should have dumped her a long time ago. 😁

outstanding. Great detail and variety. The golf was truly great. Just one of the best I have read on Lit. Thanks for sharing.

It took me a while to get to "Teed Off". Because of the length, it went from the quick read to the long read pile with other full length novels.

Utterly relatable story for me. First of all, I'm a hack golfer who hits a decent shot just often enough to keep me from quitting, so Teed Off is a perfect blueprint for one of my lifelong fantasies. Secondly. my marriage also was on life support when our youngest left for school, but with a lot of effort, we stayed together, and are now closer than we've ever been. Different fact pattern, but not by much. So again, a blueprint, although more real world than fantasy.

Your style is enjoyable and comfortable to read, and characters and dialogue are believable and relatable. Truly a treat to read. Thanks for a great story.

The abuse from the wife overpowered her atonement. Not credible that she could change so completely. He should have stayed with Maggie.

I came across this story a few weeks ago and decided not to read it because of the length. I did however save it for another time. Well I found it again yesterday and was just going to read a few lines and wound up only putting it down to pee, eat and sleep. It was a very well written story and I strongly recommend it to others. Needless to say 5 stars on all three chapters

Damnit! I was ready to leave this for dead after the second chapter, but you came roaring back and completely nailed a superb ending.

u raac them holy cow, i guess 15 years of abuse and torture finally broke the poor guy. he was starting to sound BI-polar there for a bit

Janet dated while they were divorced and Tim was apparently asexual.

So what about Janet trying on other men? Forget that detail?

Too long and too much golf for me but would make a great made for TV movie.

Well Janet must a learned how to suck some mean dick for him to overlook 15 years of misery.. Maggie all the way!!

As a very amateur golf enthusiast I loved this. Unfortunately I can’t hit straight or far. One thing though is that Janet’s mother was mentioned at the beginning as though she was the catalyst for Janet becoming a bitch but is then never mentioned again. Perhaps having some of the 2nd chapter told from Janets POV to explain how her personality changed so drastically after Meredith is born, and then changed so drastically back after the divorce. This would also help explain how she still had such a good relationship with her daughters after being such a bitch for their entire lives. She never went to any of their events, they watched her torment their father who they clearly adored and who did everything for them (even asking why he put up with it when in their early teens), and no doubt both would have been on the receiving end of her wrath many times as well. I would think all that would have meant their relationship would be strained at best. But regardless, a very enjoyable read.

Very enjoyable story. Glad that Janet learned to RESPECT and be more submissive to Tim. That's what many women need to learn. Too bad about Maggie though. She would have been perfect for Tim; in and out of bed!!!

The author was upfront about the amount of golf related content. But I chose to read it and was bored for the most part.

And yes, the ending was telegraphed from the middle of Ch. 2. So it was both anticlimactic and unsatisfying.

Excellent author, uninteresting storyline.

It was a nice fantasy story but Janet's transformation from a 20yr frided ice-bitch to a loving dedicated remorseful wife in under a year is just too much RAAC fantasy for me. She brutally administered nearly 20yrs of pain to all three to get an epiphany over loneliness that would affect that much change - no way.

This took a good story into the Twilight Zone even if she had a serious hormonal/post-partum issue that was recently discovered/fixed. I'd be worried about being around a woman that can change so radically that can flip her mental switch so fast again? What ever happen to Janet's mother the enabler?

Another totally missing part of this story, since he was the first since 1933 'Amateur' Sr Open winner, where were the media and lawyers seeking endorsements or the paparazzi ruining his family touring seeking that compromising photo (like the one of the roof)? This miss made story totally unbelievable.

He should have went with Maggie - Neal did him no favors!

Some how he needs to make his wager winnings earned income (39% tax vs 48% gift tax).

Over all this story became OVER-detailed teetering on boring. For the trilogy series, 4*, 5*, 4*

I generally liked this series. There was way too much filler for me esp. the golf stuff but still enjoyable. I noticed a lot of comments about the change in Janet was a bit too soon. I disagree. It was almost 2 years and a lot can happen to a person in that time. Yes, Maggie was awesome but he had some serious emotional attachment to Janet. He wasn't weak at all. Just being a responsible adult with kids and a high- level position.

I think the golf part of the story was fine even though folks complained about it. I think it helped drive that characters in the story. I would have liked a bit more discussion from Janet about how her counselor helped her reform as i think he would never be sure that she wouldn't revert to her old self. 5*

The longer the better. I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed the first two chapters, but I will agree with those that said the third went to far to the RAAC bent. I have been in a similar situation, an RAAC never even got close to my mind and I only had six years to deal with. At 20 years it would have been impossible.

Having said that, you're the author. And if your charters are like mine, they sometimes go off in unexpected directions. A bit heavy on the golf as expected, but all in all not a bad story.

After all this time, maybe an alternate ending story with Maggie...

An enjoyable story.

When does the movie come out? That was awesome! I really am enjoying your tales.

Parts 1 and 2 were good, then it went over a cliff and exploded! She was a total & complete abusive ASSHOLE for 15 years, and he takes her back?! 15 years isn't a mistake, it's a CHOICE! Who gives a fuck if she really changed, you CAN'T make up for 15 years of abuse! And his daughters did not love him, all they cared about was having their parents together, fuck-all if their father was HAPPY or not!

One other glaring side note; You think if he'd have gone on a vacation with Maggie he would have chosen her?! I'm just sayin'

Rather long drawn out story.When in Paris why would he go get breakfast before running,everything would be cold when he got back.?

Loved it. Thanks for your endeavour!

Thoroughly enjoyed the story. Being a UTK undergraduate and law school graduate, I especially enjoyed that aspect. Never having played or watched golf, it took a bit for me to get through it, and I readily admit skimming the golfing after Part 1. My only qualms with the story are concerning Janet's complete metamorphosis from abusive shrew to remorseful penitent. It called for a Grand Canyon size suspension of disbelief! That being said, reconciliation is my default setting, so it's all good.

That was lovely.

I'm not particularly interested in golf, reconciliation stories, or golf, and I loved all of this.

Please share more, and IMHO, write what you want to; don't be so concerned about length.

Thank you!

Great tale - but it should have been Ken & reformed Rachel plus Tim & Maggie. An abusive spouse leaves deep scares - I don't think anyone can overcome that.

This is the best story I have read on Lit for a while. I am so thankful you worked that couple back together.

I read this and never left a comment. Time to correct that error.

Good story, even tho l hate golf l enjoyed the tale

4;5

Not a golf fan (many have called the game "a good walk spoiled") but this was a great story of reconciliation and love. I really enjoyed the entirety of it. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

I lived with a shrew wife for 31 years until I set myself free. This fantasy was fun if unreal...

Well written. I'm both a near scratch golfer and a lover of Paris and all of Spain, either you've had very similar experiences or you researched incredibly well. Congratulations, I went for 4 stars as I like long stories but it was maybe just a touch too long but I'm happy I saw it through to the end

Excellent story that's totally obliterated by the incomprehensible, absurd, not believable, 180 degree personality reversal that both undergo in Chapter 3. Woman doesn't literally talk to a husband for 3 1/2 years and now he wants her back? And vice-versa? On no planet does a person get treated this badly, other than a cuckold, and come back for more. And no way dies a woman so badly treat her husband and then can't live without him. Maybe a couple like this can be civil, but nothing more. And trying to weasel out if a reasonable ending to this lazy ending is beneath this good writer.

Great story spoiled by poorly conceived reconciliation. Leopards never change their spots.

Offered with respectful intention to help toward perfection:

"Watching Freddy and I disappear into the rain was really an awesome site." [Freddy and me; awesome sight]

"It was almost early evening, and we were enjoying just laying by each other." [Laying eggs? Or bricks?] [lying]

Loved it.

And I must note I find golf to be a silly exercise.

Yet you wrote all the golf stuff so well I throughly enjoyed it.

2*

This is my 4rth reading and I have loved it each time

I would change NOTHING my friend.

I don't golf but the that you walk your readers through it added a depth and breat

a had not heretofore understood.

The museum and architecture venues were amazing. To have such intimate knowledge of the places you describe can only come from experience.

My God, but this was an amazing story!!

Thank you for creating it.

-highcountryrider

A commenter below noted the absolute impossibility of a reconciliation of any king, and I agree. In a story less carefully crafted 5han this one my comments would have been biting. However, in this story, I felt I could give my self to employ willing suspension of disbelief.

It took great writing on your part to get that from me. Please keep to the truth of life in your writing!

Highcountryrider

A really nice story. You don’t always have to BTB to have a good ending.

Nice job! I really enjoyed this, it was a good read. The characters were great, the plot was good and the flow was near perfect. I kept waiting for Janet to return to old form. I’m glad she didn’t. If there were any errors, I didn’t notice as I was too involved in the story. Thanks for sharing your work. I’ll be digging into your other works now.

Good overall. It was missing Janet's explanation of how she felt she turned to the dark side over the years. I also felt bad for Maggie. Seems like her part was left hanging. Other than that a good story.

As anonymous stated earlier, for me the only thing really missing was any sort of explanation from Janet about why she became the sexless harridan that drive him away in the first place.

It was just a little too easy that He never asked why?

As others wonder also, why did Janet become the shrew that caused the divorce The other question is of course how could counseling turn her around and return her to being a loving and understanding person? Those were two big holes in a very good story. I have an ex wife that cheated and turned into a not very nice person. I mis what had with her, a family, but I sure don't miss her and would never take her back. Story still gets 5 stars.

Why buy warm croissants at 5.30am,but not eat them until 7.30am,when they are nearly stale.Also you can't buy fresh bread in the after noon in any market still open.Why did the girls book the Paris flat but him the Barcelona one?.

terrific! thank you for writing a very different love story.

Yes, as others have meticulously spelled out, there were some gaps that could have been filled in. It seemed a bit too easy for the transformation if you don’t stop to consider that she had two years to evaluate and recognize her failings as a wife, mother, and even as a manager. We don’t get the details of that, or of what turned her into a bitch in the first place, but we can accept that it happened, as it does to a lot of women trying to pierce the glass ceiling in the corporate world. ( yes that is a dangerous generality, live with it) All those things taken in account, this is a wonderful story, even if you aren’t a great golf fan! This was my 2nd time through it and I enjoyed it even more thoroughly than the first time. Thanks for an entertaining time.

Sorry, 1 star. Hated the conclusion. It's totally unbelievable that janet would make him happy, and she does not deserve happiness at all.

I m confused. The last chapter was a nice romance. The second chapter was about golf. The first chapter was him running away from a really toxic marriage. Why did they go from loving couple to total crap marriage in like two years? Why did the wife become a heartless shrew? What was fixed in her counseling sessions? She became supportive and loving and wise in the third chapter. As in many of this author's other stories there is no real fleshed out discussion of "why". If a wife destroys a marriage for a one night fling, no even serious attempt at why. It just happens and there are consequences. If a wife has a lesbian affair, no reason why, just first heavily drunk and then oh let's go back for times #2-#20. Why? Hey shit happens.

This is a well-written story. Unlike others, given the length of the story, I am not concerned about logical “gaps.” Sure, every story written can fill in gaps, but this is not a novel of over 200 pages or even 400 pages.

Given the constraints, a great job. 2001: A Space Odyssey began as a very short story, ther Arthur C. Clark made it a longer, but still, short story; then he made it a novella, then into a novel.

Certainly this is one of the best stories on this site,

Did this dope really have a job? I can’t tell. Golf is not a sport. Like bowling and badminton, it is an activity. Also, his other daughter is deciding on attending the University of Chicago (a top world university) or the University of Tennessee for her MBA? Really? UT is primarily known for its cadaver studies. True! Is Rachel’s future in disassembling body parts. I give this story a bogey.

Really enjoyed the yarn. I thoroughly enjoyed the time and effort put into it, and since you suggested one, I have one for you. If you wanna read a fantastic story( if you haven't already), read Play It Again Sam.

Loved this story. Kind of a sucker for reconciliations based on poor communication. The fact that there appears to have been no cheating is what makes that work for me. One thing that I think you missed on was providing more detail on what leads to Janet’s transformation. I think additional effort on her journey to recognizing what a shrew she has become would have made it easier for folks to accept her coming back into the MC’s life.

One of the best I've ever read on this site. Thanks.

Pretty good story but the ending fucked the whole story for me. 1*

Not against the ending as she was only a raging shrew, not a cheating skank whore. She worked at getting over herself and became a person again, not a thing to hate.

Interesting story. The discontinuity between the Janet who came over to Scotland and what was described in chapter 1 over many years of marriage is immense. If the MC is to be believed his marriage for some 15 years was extraordinarily bad, sex 2-3 times a year, mentally abusive and moody wife, six months with no conversation, and him staying only for his kids. Uggh. In some ways would robanly be easier to deal with a short affair. Why? Look at the MC in chapter 2 and part of chapter 3. He is basically suffering from PTSD. We never learn why things got so bad, except it was all her fault, but then she sees a counselor, Meredith leaves and presto! she is a new Janet. Ok was fun to read but seemed to be a big disconnect. As an aside, why woukd credits from Northwestern not be transferable to Carson Newman. And what sort of father doesn’t want his daughter to finish at Northwestern. That is a top 20 school. A d Rachel? Going to UT Knoxville vs University of Chicago. That seems short-sighted. C'est la vie!

Fantastic story.

Odd thing, which might be attributed to a health problem, jumbling up memories, but I recall something to the effect, things were OK, until Meredith died.....am I getting confused with another story?

Liked it. Winning at St Andrews was a bit unbelievable but happy endings are always good for me.

Great story but not sure if the reconciliation would happen that quick in real life.. All those years of being abused, it felt like he had very little time to reconcile his feelings and doubtful that anyone as a victim would be so willing to do so, especially after that long of abuse.

5 stars - I liked this story in spite of the golf.

My wife and I went through a similar process during her 'menopause years'. I really believe the only reason we are still together after a half century, is because we are both too stubborn to throw in towel and divorce. I mean at this point why bother?

Superb! Touching, good storyline and very well developed characters!

Excellent

Liked this story until the last chapter. I can not understand why any one would take back someone that would abuse them for decade. would not happen.

I enjoyed the story but mental abuse for that long has no coming back even if to supply a happy ending. I get its a story but he could've been happy with Maggie too.

Disappointing and unrealistic RAAC ending.

All of this "oh but I still love her" bullshit ruined an otherwise good story. How can he suddenly fall in love with someone who he could not tolerate for 10 to 20 years. Someone he only had any interaction with for the sake of his kids.

I get that's is your(the author) show, and the ponies can wear any colour that you like. But this is way OTT unrealistic in a story where you have gone to great time and trouble to make the rest of it realistic enough to be believed..

Very disappointed in the reconciliation. The pain went on too long. He should have ended up with Maggie!

I do not like the switch from loathing to reconciliation. Nothing about the switch makes sense to me. After so much heaped on scorn I have a hard time imagining him willing to even be in the same room with the Ex, let alone becoming involved with her again.