by Buttie71
not a bad first effort, more details in the sex though, gotta good story going through it too. let us know when the 2nd is done :)
I thought it was a bit short on the sex side too when i finally read it on here, but encouraging advice i'll try the next insert soon.
More dialogue would have made it come alive. Including during their sex.
A bit hurried for the telling, but not a bad first ever story. Keep on writing.