Teeny Jaye 01

Teeny Jaye 01

Well, I've been transitioning from Jay and into Teeny Jaye for quite some time now and other than a few mistakes that I've made here and there, I think things have been going pretty well for me. My legs are not very long, but I'm a jogger and I find that an easier way of keeping my body in shape since my experience with the gym was more of a constant battle for not be pestered with than anything else, like all the time. But it was nice that so many guys volunteered to 'spot' me so often, but seriously, jumping rope doesn't really need a spotter, right?

And it was a huge mistake a few months ago to accept an offer from a certain follower for the use of his personal garage gym. I mean, it was his entire garage and it was perfect, but there was too much stuff on the side, so that was a huge mistake. Not as huge of a mistake as Mrs. Bentley is huge, but still, right? It was a nice gym set up for him. For me, not so much.

"(Giggles)"

But I like how he still apologies to this day. And I'm open to any other garage gyms if there can be a little bit of control.

And speaking of the garage, I don't have much of a sex life, but I'm just 20, so there is plenty of time for that, even though, ahem, a certain person that I know seems to think the time is now and then maybe multiple times in one day, but that's not happening. Today anyways. And I don't like how he doesn't apologize, but it's nice to be wanted, I guess.

Anyways, moving on then, it's not exactly true, but in general terms, what most people wear as modest length shorts are more like Capri cut jeans on me. I copied my hair from an actress from an aging TV program that stills runs on my cable today and my old gamer buddies are the best for letting me practice dressing and for most of all, my voice control. My hair is not one of my mistakes. But maybe there were a few gaming nights that were, um, questionable, um, the end.

I mean, I'm innocent and if it actually snowed down here in Middleton, I mean, I'd be the poster Trap for that pure as the driven snow saying, right? With "pure" being defined as a few questionable moments allowable, the end.

Anyways, I never had to announce that I switched teams because that was always obvious going way, way back, I buy the best stuff from the Little Miss section, I think whoever invented eyeliner pencils deserves an award and sometimes I like to use my eyeliner pencil to draw a teeny tiny "X" under my right eye. Times two on Friday nights.

Anyways, my story today starts the Friday night before the city sponsored bonfire and it doesn't start out with me running into a guy as I strutted down the Middleton Strip! Well, it does start out that way, but only by default and my mission was something else entirely and then a certain guy just got in my way. Because he's, well, you'll find out soon enough.

[A fairly breezy strut down the Strip, which abruptly ends with a body slam]

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there, little filly, where are you off to in such a rush, huh? I mean, surely you have heard from some people that I have been asking about you, so slow it down and let's discuss our future then, okay?"

[A fairly abrupt stop in front of the Frilly Filly Staddle Shop on the Strip]

"Oh, Brandon then, well, Brandon, there is nothing to discuss about our future since you still owe me so much from our past, starting with how the sign on your treehouse read "no girls allowed, including Jay" and the stick figure of me that one of you guys scribbled on the sign and ahem, where you placed that one bent nail, so?"

"(Giggles) aww, come on (giggles), Teeny Jaye, you already got me back for that since you went ahead and spread it around that I'm bent like a banana, so, let's get together tomorrow night, like at your place and get with it then, alright? I mean, I'm Brandon, for Pete's sakes and you turned 18 like two years ago and I, the one and only Brandon, haven't been pleasured on your couch yet and that needs to stop now! I mean, I'm Brandon and I have rep!"

Ta da, introducing Brandon! The one and only inflated ego.

"Oh, well, then you have no future tomorrow night then, Brandon, since the big city bonfire is tomorrow night down at the riverside festival grounds and I just found out that Mrs. Bentley has already assigned me to working the wood pile area along side with Mrs. Thompson, so, that's where I will be tomorrow night because I just don't see any up-side to messing around with Mrs. Bentley and her hit squad of busty middle-aged women, who are already on the prowl and looking for anyone who isn't going to show up at and attend the big bonfire, so?"

"Damn, I forgot about the city bonfire being tomorrow night, but, tee he, who can blame me for that since, you know, I'm Brandon and all, but listen, Teeny Jaye, even with all that, I'm sure that you and Mrs. Thompson will make a great team, right? I mean, Mrs. Thompson can stroke and stoke a couple of logs into the little golf cart trailer and then you will stroke and stoke a couple of hard wood logs into the little trailer and everything will work out just fine and that's tomorrow night anyways. So, since I am Brandon and all, we still have tonight to back step into the alley access walkway and discuss how you're going to work all that wood at the wood pile, I mean, without practice, improper stoking and stroking could leave a sliver or a splinter behind in your fingers and nobody wants that, so, let's discuss the proper way to grip a hard log then, shall we? You know, since I'm Brandon and all."

"Brandon, I'm not falling for that, again! Anyways, the one and only over inflated ego, Brandon, I simply just don't have time for your antics tonight or to argue with you because I also just now found out from Mrs. Bentley that some of the ladies from the church ladies crew have already made a decision for the bonfire tomorrow night and I'm on a mission right now to save them, hence my huffing and puffing down the Strip, so, I have no time for this. Also, the one and only, Brandon, I promise you that my hard wood handling skills are more rumors than truth, with a questionable moment here and there mixed in, but still, I'm on a mission right now."

Um, status update, folks, I may have made a few mistakes back in the day by not squashing a few rumors right from the start since that lack of my rebuffing action taught me that not fighting back is the same as throwing fuel on the rumor fire. And circling back just above a little bit since I'm addressing a couple of rumors, tee he, it's totally a rumor that I traded Sarah a year's subscription to a makeup of the month club for her artistic skills to upgrade my treehouse sign stick drawing to something more, um, suitable and representative. And I'm not even getting into how or where she learned about that stuff, but she totally nailed it, the end. LOL, bent nail pun intended.

"OMG, Teeny Jaye, how are you going to fluff me off for a bunch of church ladies, huh? I'm Brandon! Also, I've heard that you have some weird skills where your wood handling skills are like a fast fluffing and since I'm Brandon, I need to know about that!"

Well, you see, folks, it's all in the looseness of the grip and the speed of your hand movement and your angle of attack and, well, never mind because I'm questionably innocent.

"Brandon, I just said that I don't have time for you tonight because I was just on my way down the Strip to the 40 Something Jeans Shop because the church ladies crew have been spiking their own service wafers with edibles for a week now in anticipation of holding their kneeling pray services at the bonfire and now, they want to trade in their white robes for black Denim jeans, rattail hair brushes, chokers and headbands for the bonfire! Which is fine except, OMFG, they are shopping at the Mom Jeans Shop on the Strip and nothing about that says "come pray with me behind the festival grounds pavilion since I'm on my knees already" and I need to save the day! Also, since your mom is with the church ladies crew, you might think about paying her a compliment later for how she fills out a pair of real Denim jeans. Or divert your eyes, either way, so?"

"Well, Teeny Jaye, there must be some middle ground here, right? I mean, I started out with how you must have heard that I've been asking about you and then surely, I followed all that up with how I'm Brandon, right?"

Hah! Guys who think they are all that and an opened bag of stale chips, right? Also, I mean, I'm skittish enough as it is and his sports friend, Seth, had already been texting with me lately and since I don't even know how to play the field when there is only one other player, I mean, I was going to have my hands full at the city bonfire as it is, right?

Having my hands full pun possibly intended. I mean, I'm ready for something. Maybe.

Also, in full disclosure, I may have just made another mistake by reminding the one and only, Brandon, about the bonfire the next day since his mom is going to test the limits of Denim when she squats down to her knees to offer her healing services. Some of men might not mind it at all, but I suppose Brandon shouldn't have to know about that. Right?

"Brandon, the truth is that I might be hoping that your friend, Seth, might surprise me tomorrow night by bringing me a delightful red, blue, white Whipped Frozen Swirl while I'm stroking and stoking the hard wood pile of logs along with Mrs. Thompson, so, I think our conversation should be over for now, okay? And I mean that in the best way and I'm just being honest with you, Brandon, so?"

Hah! Guys who get pissed off and storm off into the night, right? Also, he'll come back someday, right?

[40 Something Jeans Shop front door chime jingle, jangle]

Well, I was being honest above when I said I was out to save the day. Nobody who purposely spikes their own service wafers should offer their services in Mom Jeans, right?

"Ahh, that's much better, ladies! That's how Denim is meant to be filled out! (To the limits)."

"Well, these may be better than standard mom jeans after all, for sure, Tiny Tot, so (giggles), good call."

Oh, and I make a lot of good calls! Since I have a lot of time on my hands to think things through.

[Where's the beef, you ask? Right there! In seam splitting Denim!]

"Well, to balance things out, I mean, it's only fair that you four new to the goth game ladies, sway your fabulously wide hips down to the Mom Jeans Shop and buy something there, like black headbands or something, which will double as blind folds tomorrow night because I think wife swapping has been trending these days on Chang, but it might be better if your eyes are closed the first time, so?"

"(A foursome of giggles) well, who would have thought that Teeny Tiny Blue Jaye Birdie would make such good calls for performing, ahem, having side sex, hmm, right ladies (continued giggling)? Another good call, Teeny Meany Mo Beany!"

[Oh, a certain sales clerk wasn't happy about that good call!]

"Ahem!"

"Oh, oh, or, tee he, you ex church ladies could finish off your New Age, Middle-Aged Ho looks right here at Shari's shop, tee he, right?"

"Good call, Tiny Tot! And you can call my step brother sometime, I suppose, Teeny Weeny Booty Jaye!"

Oh, I liked that one! Not that Baxter would answer the phone for me or anything. But I could tell that he has at least read my text, so. Because I have a lot of time on my hands to monitor stuff like that.

[Lift log, toss, crash, bounce, rinse and repeat until the little golf cart trailer is full of cut hard wood]

"Whew, huh, oh my, well then, shoot, hmm, ooh."

"Well, what does all of that mean, Mrs. Thompson, hmm? I'm tossing my fair share of bonfire firewood logs, so? Without getting a splinter, that is."

"Oh, Jay..."

"Ahem, it's Teeny Jaye, Mrs. Thompson."

"Alright then, Teeny Tiny Jaye, I mean, "whew" meant, whew, I'm glad that I had two daughters, so I didn't have to deal with all that you must have brought to the various nerd caves for game days back then and "huh" was for huh, you really do make a better girl than a guy and "oh my" was for how my daughter, Sarah, warned me about what my eyes were going to see tonight and "well then" was for, well, just where did you buy that little volleyball that you have back there and do they have overnight shipping and the "shoot" was for how I think we should have hooked up the teeny tiny trailer to the golf cart before we started to weigh it down with all these hard wood logs and the "hmm" was, again, for how glad that I didn't have a bunch of horny nerds whacking off over you in my basement and "ooh" was for I'm beginning to think that guy just over there wants a girlfriend tonight, but I can't tell if it's me or you since I've been out of the loop for a while, so? And I've been out of the game since my divorce, so I hope it's me. Ahem. I guess. I'm dying, so?"

"(Giggles) that's Mrs. Williams' son, David and trust me, Mrs. Thompson, I am definitely not his type, not at all or whatsoever, zippo, zap, zero, nada. So, let me try this then, Mrs. Thompson, "oh", "whew" "he likes you" and that's the end of that, Mrs. Thompson, so? Also, you'll recognize David better when he creeps out of the shadows and approaches us. He works at the Fruit Market."

"(Oh, snap, David the boner machine clerk then, Teeny Blue Jaye? LOL, he needs a better apron! But his carrot seems to be on point, ahem, David who?)"

Well, people like me are not for everyone, right? Why, I have no idea why, but I'm not for everyone. And I set out to prove that right there and then. For Mrs. Thompson's benefit, that is. Who looked amazing.

"David, David, pay attention to me, David! Mrs. Thompson and myself messed up and we didn't hook up the little trailer before we overloaded it with fat and heavy firewood logs, so, can you bring your fat log over here and help us hook it up then, hmm? And have you seen Seth yet? I'm hoping for a surprise red, blue, white Whipped Frozen Swirl, so?"

I mean, he could have at least glanced at me as he approached us, right?

"(Psst! Is it just that easy these days, Teeny Tiny Jaye?)"

Ahem, it's just Teeny Jaye, folks, no matter of all the other names being said above. And just why can't I be literally everyone, hmm? I'm kind of cute, right?

"Sup, ladies, tee he, Teeny Weeny Jaye, it's always a pleasure, from a distance, so?"

"Ha, ha, David, but I'm okay with that one, maybe, since I'm actually so, well, never mind all that."

I mean, Teeny Tiny Weeny Jaye? Hmm? Too much, folks? But it does apply to me somewhere, the end.

"Anyways, David, what's "sup" is that the trailer tongue is too heavy for us to lift now since we totally overloaded it with hard and fat bonfire logs and I don't care at all that your tongue is hanging out for the lovely Mrs. Thompson in her bonfire shorts and her tied shirt right now, David, since all I care about right now is just where in the hell is my Whipped Frozen Swirl from your sports buddy, Seth, hmm?"

"OMG, Lil Weeny Jaye, just shut it and stop being so needy already! Anyways, um, so, hey there, hey Mrs. Thompson, it's a pleasure to see you outside of the Fruit Market and um, I'll just lift and center point the trailer tongue while one of you stick the round pin in the round hole, okay?"

"Oh, OMG, what a moment to say "that's what she said" since even I know what sexual attraction means, David! And everyone here is unattached, so, I mean, I'm actually all for the two of you engaging in relations right now behind the cover of the tall stack of cut firewood and I'll be the distraction in the front of the stacked firewood and not peek, so?"

"OMG, engaging in relations, seriously, Itty Bitty Teeny Jaye? It's no wonder that some people have run away from you after trying to, well, anyways, I do appreciate that you're all for it and that you'll act as our distraction and I'll text Seth and inquire where your stupid fricking triple color and triple flavor Whipped Frozen Swirl is, um, okay?"

"Good call, David! Oh, and by the way, my definition and vision of engaging in relations in the great outdoors might involve, um, um, well, I like the internets version of the proverbial snake charmer thing, so, um, well, I'll just be in the front of the wood pile, you know, not peeking or taking photos, so?"

Well, everybody was single and maybe I had saw David's snake in the gym showers once or twice, so, um, good call, tee he, right? Oh, again, reminding all of you that I'm definitely not David's type, so his snake never hissed in my direction.

LOL, he so has totally whacked off over me before! Maybe, probably. I wasn't there. The end.

[Whoop, text, weep, reply, whoop, respond, weep, fricking triple flavor Swirls, whoop, get here, Seth]

Also, so, it just starts that fast then? I mean, between a guy who is hot for his Fruit Market customer and the MILF customer at the bonfire, that is. I mean, a little smiling chit chat, which causes a body molding embrace and that leads to locked lips and a little grinding and that's how it's done? Cool.

And I only stood motionless for educational purposes. And holy did I ever learn something snap! Guys like it when their partner slowly squats down and uses their masculine legs and thighs as her guide posts as she lowered down and gazed back up at him! And maybe I liked how there is an art to undoing a belt with one smooth "swoosh" and how cargo shorts are unbuttoned with just one quick "snap swish" and how there seemed to be three moments of eye glazing teasing and a couple of pucker kisses! That needs to be in a book!

And then, boom! It just started, just like that! And then I was the one who became distracted rather than being the distraction.

Also, OMG, it just started! Well, Mrs. Thompson just started and then David started to look like he was going to pass out, but in a good way.

"Well then, hello there, um, it's Lil Teeny Weeny Mo Meany Bo Beany, right?"

[Muffled, oomph, slush, oomph, mmm, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]

"Shut it, Dale. I was exactly the same amount of mean to you as you were to me back then, so?"

[Muffled, oh, OMG, ooh, that's it, ooh, own my veggie stick, Tammy Thompson!]

"Alright, Teeny Beany, I'll wave the white flag and call a truce. So, can I call you sometime then? And can I call you later tonight when I find a white van in the parking lot that's unlocked, huh?"

"(Giggles) did you ride down here tonight in your mom's soccer mom van, Dale, hmm?"

[Muffled, oomph, gulp, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, mmm, mmm, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag]

"Well, so, what? It's still private and we're both single, so, um, how about it then, Teeny Jaye? A simple one-night tryst can be fun, so?"

Ahh, fun for him, right? Also, do people still have a tryst? In the 21st century?

[Muffled, I'm ready for your charming snake to spit its venom, lover boy, oomph, mmm, gag, mmm]

"Oh, I think I actually agree with that, Dale, but under different circumstances since I'm being honest with you by informing you that I am waiting to be claimed as someone's snake charms tonight, if that is what he wants and I plan on removing the lid from the snake basket and everything, so, um, the golf cart and trailer are fully loaded, if you wouldn't mind driving it over to the bonfire pit and dumping the load, so??

"Aha, aha, aha, that's all I want, Teeny Blue Jaye Bird, to dump my load! Inside of your mouth and I mean that in the best way since, um, since you're most of all that and a book of bonfire matches, so, will you toot my snake charmer flute tonight or what, huh?"

[Muffled, oh momma, ooh, ahh, spew, gulp, spew, gulp, ahh, spew, gulp, spew, gag, gulp, ahh]

Well, at least he was honest. And just where the hell was my Whipped Frosty Swirl anyways?

"Dale, I'm spoken for until I know for sure that I'm not spoken for because it does not take that long to order and mix together a red, blue, white Whipped Frosty Swirl beverage!"