Tell Me No Lies

"Peyton, I've been lying to you the whole time I've known you," he said. The jar...

"The fuck? What is wrong with you, Shell? Fuck! Look at this!"

He hurried around, got cloths and cleaned me up, then the mess, while I sat and fumed for a minute. I got up and put on some shorts and a top. I was too vulnerable feeling to be naked.

When I got back, he was done with the cleanup and had me a glass of wine poured. I got another jar, fixed up my ribs and got them back on the Trigger. Finally, I sat down across the bar from him. "Okay, spill, dude. This better be good."

"I'm sorry, Peyton, but it isn't."

"What you mean?" I asked.

"Well, you know I was up for that promotion at work?"

"Yes, are you telling me you didn't get it?"

"It's obvious I'm not, or it wouldn't have taken so long. I'm just not there, Peyton. I'm beginning to feel that way about a lot of things. You deserve better than me. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever be the man you need me to be. I feel like I've been lying to you this whole time, telling you that I am that man."

I was fucking horrified. How had I let this happen? I didn't have time to think about that. My man was hurting. I went around and wrapped myself around him from the back like an anaconda. I wasn't about to let go.

"Bae, I don't know what made you feel like that. Was it something I did? If so, tell me and let me apologize, because I want you to know I don't feel like that, at all. Neither do Blake and Elica. We think you're you. That's all we want."

I turned his head and kissed him fiercely. He returned it, half-heartedly. I wasn't going to let this stand. I swiveled him around on his stool and stood between his legs, my arms around his neck, and looked directly into his kind blue eyes.

"Lie to me," I said.

"What?"

"I said, Lie to me, dumbass. If our life has been a lie, lie to me some more. Tell me everything is all right. Tell me you love me. Lie to me, Shell."

He sat there and stared at me. "Has this promotion thing crushed you that badly, Bae? I'm sorry I didn't see that. Sheldon, I loved you yesterday, I love you today. That promotion would be nice, yeah, but you don't have it now and I love you. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, but it's been nearly two weeks since I interviewed, and..."

"Bullshit," I said. "I don't care if it's been two months. I don't care if they give it to some dickweed. Do you understand that, Shell? It doesn't matter. I'm pulling for you to get it, because you want it, not because of me."

I found his arms moving slowly up to hold me. He cleared his throat. "I just... I thought I could... If I could just meet you halfway, be as close to as strangely perfect as you are..."

I laughed. "Yeah, I'm that, all right. Jesus, Sheldon. Just fucking lie to me. I want you to know it isn't a lie, at all. I know who you are. You can tell yourself and me it's a lie, but I know. Are you going to lie to me, Shell?

"No.... he started. He looked up at my face. "I mean... yes. Don't I?"

"You do," I said. "When are you going to start?"

He looked up at me again, reading my face. "Now?"

"Right," I said. "But not until after this."

I tried to swallow his tongue, felt his hands on my tiddies, and we were off.

As I was trying to get my breath, he pulled me over on him. "Thanks, Peyton. I was feeling pretty bummed about the whole job thing, and I just let it spill over into a lot of other shit.

"I saw Charles making his move on you the other night. That, along with the job thing, how busy we are, how hard it is to live up to everyone's expectations, it just got to me. I started thinking you could do better."

"Don't let fucking Charles get in your head, Bae," I said. "He doesn't mine. Okay, he's young and fit. He's pleasant enough, and yeah, he's famous and shit. Do you imagine I'd ever get with him? Jesus Christ, Shell, the dude is a child."

"I know, but you're so hot, he's... all that, and..."

"You're all that," I told him. "Your daughters worship you, dude. Hell, I worship you. We gotta communicate better, love. The only expectations you're failing to meet are your own. The girls and me, we expect you to have a job. We don't care if it's CFO or custodian. Seriously, I want you to be CFO if you can and you want it. If you don't get it, or you don't want it, I am happy. The girls are happy. Besides, I make hella money, Shell. You can retire tomorrow if you want and spend your time spoiling us."

He laughed. "I might," he said. "I can't think of a better job than that."

"Right? There you go. I snuggled my man, he drifted off and I got up after a bit and went to check on my ribs.

They were perfect and had a killer smoke ring going. They were perfection, just having enough body not to fall off the bone. I was feeling pretty introspective. What is it, I wondered, that makes us miss our partner's clues? I was going to be more alert. How had I let the man I loved get to that point without easing his fears?

I realized something about when you love. You do shit to stroke each other's egos. You accept that they need that stroking, and that's your job. I was going to do a better job. Dude was a hell of a basketball player, even at his age. I laughed at my own joke. I was better, but who's keeping track?

I heard a noise behind me and two huge arms wrapped me up. "Peyton, I am as in love with you as the day I realized I was. More," he said. "Thanks for being there, not judging me."

I turned in his arms and snuggled my cheek into his chest. "You'd do the same for me, and more," I said. I lit him up with my best kiss.

"Ew." It was Elica. "Why y'all gotta do that in front of me?" Dad was with her, and he gave her a little spank, making her squeal in mock outrage.

"You ought to be cheering them on," he said.

She pumped her fist in the air. "Yay," she said in the most desultory way possible.

"What are we yaying?" Blake came out, followed by Sheldon's parents.

"Mom and Dad are in love," Elica explained.

"Umm... that's news?" Mike asked.

Blake came up and embraced us. My baby was tall! How did that happen. Elica wanted her share, and we also grabbed the rents and squeezed them. "I needa yeet some roasting ears on here, I said. The disaster in the making averted, we sat down and enjoyed our barbecue. Sheldon caught my eye and winked. "I'll be lying, from now on," he whispered in my ear.

I slid my arm around him and got barbecue sauce on his shirt. He didn't seem to mind.

He got the job, and I've never heard anything but a lie out his mouth since.