All Comments on 'Telos Ch. 03'

He's got a Nice Collection going with Grace,Amy and now Laura.

Can't wait to see how he breaks her.

I love the subtlety that you use, nothing harsh or abrasive. It is like drifting and it is very powerful. Thank you for sharing your talents.

Where is Ch 4??

Is he a part of the government? Or just posing as a government official? In ensnaring Laura, id he attempting to use her to gain control of the water supply? Is he preparing to move to the next step, mind control of the general populace? Grace was (like Amy) a government worker who learned too much and had to be "silenced"? This has been a great story so far. Please keep writing.

What he's done to Grace is unforgivable and horrific. He has permanently mind-raped, lobotomised and destroyed her. I don't find that kind of utter destruction sexy, I find it sad and depressing.

Anonymous: While I agree with your point, I have to stress: read the entire story before passing judgment. He is a part of something more sinister than the changes to Grace's and Amy's (And soon, Laura's) minds. There is a hint of some government agency/plot/project bent on mass mind control and these three got to close and had to be "eliminated". It appears that they were sent to him as test subjects and he did use them to perfect his techniques (as opposed to just executing them). He appears to display some feeling of responsibility toward them, as evidenced by the fact that he keeps them and cares for them. Make no mistake, he is not a good person and he deserves our condemnation; but he is doing the job he was hired to do and they were victims of it; should he have killed them when he was done?

Damn you, Literoticareader99 for pimping this! :D:D:D

Minor editing issues. The strength of the story rolls smoothly over them. So few stories live up to the potential of this category. This one does in spades. It is one of the exceptions to the 'backstory makes the story stronger' rule. The limited story beyond master's world, especially the white room, condenses this into something very intense. There is nothing magical or supernatural, it is man made and entirely intentional. The gammet of emotions it invokes is inconceivable! (Apologies to Princess Bride)

FA_JF (???) Entirely different from WB's, HisPet's or Darling's writings, but good in a twisted kind of way! The whole idea of mind control is creepy hard to resist reading about; but I'm glad I got you hooked! the more the better! I love to find good, well written offbeat stories, share them and discuss them. And this story definitely qualifies, especially if you're a conspiracies ( I am but only in fictional stories - I'm positive that there was no second shooter on the grassy knoll and we did actually land on the moon). There is definitely more than a hint of a government mind control conspiracy in this story. Fractal_King, get ready for more readers and more comments!

Phil (AKA literoticareader99)

I'd like to reiterate that I take my promise at the end of each chapter to welcome hostile and disgusted comments as much as positive and pleased ones very seriously. No one should read this comment as say saying "don't like, don't read" or anything of the sort. Reading things you find objectionable is better than writing them off without consideration.

I suspect know exactly the kind of disgust that Anon experiences, it's how I feel when I read stories with "heroes" who are motivated by spite or bitterness. No matter what the content is I find them impossible to read since my dislike of the character spoils the story. A lot of this story is about eroticizing the act of mind control itself which that can disgust people in the same way for all kinds of reasons. I have no interest in offending people but that is what the story is about and it will inevitably offend people who dislike that. Ultimately this story is aimed at people who like mind control and are sensitive to the temperament of the characters. The male character is the villain, of course, but I've made an effort to be sure that he's not cruel or unpleasant.

I'm quite enjoying this series.It's a very interesting take on mind control and quite well written. I like that the man does clearly care about the welfare of his test subjects and how he seems to genuinely believe his methods will make the world a better place ultimately. The contrast between the two girls so far is also very interesting to see how he's improving his techniques. Plus it's of course always nice to find stories on this site that are actually written properly, it makes the whole experience so much more enjoyable.