All Comments on 'Temptation'

FIVE STARS as always and as always that's five stars for each page.

Great story, very glad to read another USin effort. The change in voice for the epilogue works, and the parents doing the best they could came across, in the end, with the reader and hte couple finding out together.... It makes sense, with a new door for the kiddos wing and a lock, to boot.

Your editing sort of holds this quite good story back, but not enough to downgrade it. There were missing words, awkwardness, and unnecessary repetitiveness. I enjoy your work, and trust you as an author, but if this was someone's first exposure to you...

You get Five

Was good, but I thought it was lacking something. Couldn't say what, but it was (in my eyes). Glossing over the whole triplets thing, not even knowing their genders, seems weird, and the parents knowing about the relationship even though they were completely oblivious to everything else seems an odd choice.

the "lost years" make this a really sad story, regardless of the epilogue.

Good story.

Though noticed what i think is an error (at least the way i read it).

When Beth shows up Mark states that he will call into work and work from home but the following morning he has to go into work... ???

Virtually flawless writing from Ultimate Sin, as usual. I'd like to know who in his (or her) right mind could possibly award fewer than 5 stars.

On that subject, some malcontent has apparently been downvoting many of the best stories on Literotica the past few months, so it's hard to find the red H anywhere...

Great story. Love it. AAAAAA++++++

I tend to agree with muskyboy about the "lost years". I have to admit that I actually cried at some points in this story. This story struck my heart because I have loved my sister from the time that our parents brought her home from the hospital so many years ago. Although, in a fit of long subdued longing and passion, I once confessed my intense love for her, she did not reciprocate my love. She loved me as a brother and a friend, but that was the extent of her feelings. I felt grateful that she didn't end our relationship at that point, but I will always want her, miss her, and love her until the day that I die. Thank you for a well-written story.

Good tale...thank you. TEN!

Good story, not as great as others you’ve written.

Dear UltimateSin,

This is an excellant story, and thank you so much for composing such a compelling work!

I love stories that portray real heartfelt love and romance instead of just another bunch of cheaply composed incestuous fucking for the sake of the assumed gratification of the reader.

But then again, I'm older.

The pain Mark felt when Beth ripped his heart out of his chest made me hurt as if I were him.

But then again, I've been there, so I completely know what that feels like.

It was 1987.

I'd met a beautiful girl and fallen madly in love with her as we began to steadily date. She liked everything I liked, so it wasn't hard falling into her as the weeks turned into months without even so much as an argument.

I think it was month 6 when I popped the question one day at her house. I remember that day like it was yesterday. There was no hesitation as she accepted in tears, and off and running we were on the road to the altar. I bought her a pretty ring, and we were about to set a date for our wedding.

I'm really not sure how long past that it was when the unexpected happened and my heart shredded like a bomb had blown it from my chest as she told me that she'd fallen in love with my roommate.

The engagement was off.

In the space of two days, I went from feeling like a guy who'd won the lottery, to a guy who didn't know which way was up. I had to immediately find new housing, and try to figure out how to proceed with my shattered life.

It was great while it lasted. I honestly thought I'd made it, and was only 25. I loved her soooo much!

I pulled myself back together slowly, but as the years rolled by, I wasn't ever able to replicate the love I'd had with her. There were a couple of times I thought that I'd found it again, but I was mistaken.

Unexpectedly, I ended up getting back in contact with her a couple years ago. She'd married my roommate and they'd had a daughter. Then, he died.

We spent time together and talked things out. Really talked, and I was able to kearn that the love we'd shared was in fact, real. We had some fun and shared some tears, but it wasn't the same as before, and we stopped communicating.

I didn't get a happy ending like Mark did when his lady love realised her folly and returned to her true place in life.

It took me quite a while to realise that I am jaded about what happened, but I am not bitter. I still have hope.

Thank you again for writing such a meaningful and well thought out story.

Top marks to you!

Sincerely,

B4PW.

p.s. I listened to a CD of cello concertos by Vivaldi (continually) while reading your story. It really fit the plot developments, and allowed me to turn your story into a movie in my head.

While not one of your best stories, I liked it. I'm not sure why Beth thought she should save herself for so long at the first, doing everything but screwing, but then only when she was ready? Then when she came back it was let's make out but no fucking until I'm ready, again. Maybe it made sense to her, but I'm not sure how real to life that is. Anyway, glad that they had a happy ending.

Another good read, I love a good love story.

I’m sorry sin, but this story was a huge let down for me, no one addresses the parental neglect it’s just a shit happens circumstance, the sister broke her brothers heart and abandoned him and he just takes her back just like that, not to mention the parents knew so that just meant sis left for no reason, it’s a depressing story of I know life is shit and I abandoned and cheated on you for months but can you take me back, and whattya know he does, just like that, we call people like that soft cocks… it was well written just not my cup of tea.

Not one of your best but a well thought out tale.

great story, great ending

Not too bad but you used the term brother/husband and or sister/wife way too many times at the end you should have dropped 1 of the names and just used either brother or husband for her narrative of the story and only used sister or wife for his narrative of the story

not your best

He took her back too readily IMO… he shouldn’t have waited for her. Young and foolish is for teenagers; it doesn’t cut it when you’re 23 yo. She was looking for variety and knew he’d take her back even after she played the field. She didn’t give him a chance to make his case; she was already looking forward to moving on to someone else.

This story frustrated me so much. So many "are you fucking kidding me!?" moments. That goddamn separation arc that is overused in these stories is the bane of my reading existence on here. In this case, it felt like it was specifically designed and written just to piss people off here, with the way it was setup letting you know there was a 15-year gap, then going back and painfully describing just how close, connected, and deeply in love they were, like nothing could ever separate them. Then one day, out of nowhere, she unilaterally decides to end things, no discussion, being totally selfish and stupid, completely contradicting what we were meant to believe. I mean, really!? I just can't swallow that pill. What hope is there in trying to find a lasting, loving relationship if something like that - something that was portrayed as deep, loving and unbreakable - can crumble so easily? It's honestly quite scary.

But, of course, they end up together again in the end, but that doesn't redeem the story sufficiently. Way to lose 15 years from an already short existence for nothing except hurt. Are people really that stupid and afraid that they can't just have a rational discussion with their partner before throwing away what's meant to be the best thing that's ever happened to them? Ugh anyway enough ranting. As I said, very frustrating. I still begrudgingly give it 5 stars because it made me feel so passionately about it, even if it wasn't in the way I was hoping.

How was she 'not ready' for sex after so long apart and asking him to wait for her? Like what? You apologize for breaking his heart and than want to get back together with him after apologizing for how long it took to make your way back to him, but then turn around and say you aren't ready to make love? Kind of odd. I miss Holly, she seemed far more loving and sweet :/ Poor girl. Also, poor Mark.

I don't want to sound rude but the lost years ruined the story for me.

I didn't like this. A relationship like theirs with all the control in one person's hands is not healthy, whether incest or not, so that pissed me off. He should have made her pay more, especially when she wanted to get back with him. I couldn't believe he could just take her back like he did, but I guess he really did love her. And apparently she subsequently proved that she could be trusted again. So that's good I reckon. But I can't feel much for them either way.

Doesn’t make any sense that it was called temptation… should have a different title like devoted or something. I don’t think you should have made the lost years such a long time and it’s hard to believe she would be able to hold out so long if she loves it him this much but still very well written and hits in you in the heart where a lot of stories can’t.

nah the sister can rot in a ditch

I loved it