All Comments on 'Tequila Sunrise'

I thought it a very hot story! 5 BIG FAT FUCKING STARS!

Your sense of excitement is not in doubt, however you could use an editor and a way to seperate the perspectives so the reader knows who is delivering what thoughts/statements. Honestly, I didn't know from which perspective this story was told, as it alluded to the birthday boy and his sister in different sections with no transitions to alert the reader.