Testing Relationships

The pleasant sensations just kept building up and I lifted my finger to warn her about what was about to come. Literally.

She lifted her head from my dick, smiled sweetly and said, "It's okay, go ahead if you want to."

The interruption gave me a moment to think about how this really should be done. "Where's your bedroom? I want to do this slowly and properly."

Her smile lit the room. "Follow me." I did just that.

We took our time. I licked her almost to an orgasm, but stopped just before she came, like she had when she blew me. Afterwards we made slow and sensual love. I tried to gently stimulate her clit with slow pelvic movements and was rewarded by two of her climaxes.

Immediately after finishing the best orgasm I've ever had, I suddenly remembered where I'd seen her before. How could I have forgotten her? She was that damn relationship tester who had tried to seduce me in the 08/15 a few months ago. This explained why this definitely way too hot woman was interested in me at all. I hadn't recognized her because it had been so dark in the club. She had finally finished her mission, but it didn't matter anymore. I wasn't in a relationship that could be tested. I had to laugh hard, really hard. This was priceless. I had gotten the by far best sex of my life and my asshole father in law had even paid for it.

While I was still laughing, she looked quite unperturbed and just said "Ah, I see you finally recognize me?"

Still laughing, I managed to answer "Yes, you're that relationship tester who came on to me at 08/15. Well, you've succeeded. Congratulations."

She looked at me quizzically. "Relationship tester?"

Now it was my turn to be a bit confused. "Wait, you're not?"

"Sorry, I'm a bit confused here."

"Ah..." was all I managed to say.

"Why did you say I'm a relationship tester? What is that?" She sounded as confused as I felt.

"That's someone who is paid to try to get someone to cheat. I assumed you were paid by my father in law to get me to cheat and prove what he thinks anyway, namely that I'm an asshole who would cheat on his little girl."

Now it was her turn to laugh, leaving me sitting there, confused as hell. I had the distinct feeling that I had just made an ass out of myself. It wasn't too bad, though. Watching her laugh was something I could do all day long.

"You're not too far off, actually. Someone was being paid to lure someone out of an obviously weak relationship, but I'm not the lure, I'm the customer."

"What? Sorry, I..."

"I'm the one who paid. Max was the relationship tester, if you want to call it that."

I just sat there, stunned.

"Aaaaand... I have to say the ten thousand I spent for Max to lure you away from your bitchy wife were well worth it. I can call him now and tell him his job is finished."

What? She's a rich dream woman and she hired a tester? Eva was being tested, not me? This made no sense; why had she chosen me in the first place?

"How...?"

"Well, I saw you in the 08/15 and I knew immediately who you were. Unfortunately, you were with someone and you turned me down. I was disappointed but admired your loyalty, but I also saw what a disrespectful bitch your wife was. She was flirting openly, humiliating you, trying to defeat you. I knew you and she were a divorce just waiting to happen. I was willing to wait, but I was afraid someone else would snatch you up when things finally exploded. I wanted first dibs, so I decided to speed things up a little by putting her to the test. Max is kind of my ex. He's good looking, but he's a shallow, selfish asshole. I knew he was the perfect man for the job, especially as he can't handle money and is always in need of some. So yes, I guess I hired a relationship tester. It sure worked."

Now it was my turn to laugh until I remembered her words 'I knew immediately who you were'. After a short time of being un-confused, I returned to my now familiar confused state.

"What did you mean? You knew who I am?"

"You really don't remember me?"

"You seem familiar somehow, but I can't..."

"Imagine me as a skinny sixteen-year-old. Short, tousled hair, enough braces to make a scrap dealer drool, painfully shy, flat as a board, looking at you constantly through ugly glasses."

"Sonja?" It hit me like a ton of bricks. She had never mentioned her name; if she had, I would have recognized her earlier. "Sonja from school?" Boy, had she changed. It was almost unbelievable. The sweet, but almost boyish girl who had kind of been my first love had turned into... well, a walking wet dream.

"In the flesh."

"Wow, I guess you've developed rather nicely. Of course I remember you, I always had a bit of a crush on you, but I guess we were both painfully shy back then. I never dared to ask you for a date, because your parents owned half of our town. My dad was working for yours back then, and warned me all the time to stay away from you and not fuck things up."

She, Sonja, just laughed again. "Boy, do I ever wish you had. In hindsight, it seems I spent my teenage days just admiring you. I decided back then that I'd marry you some day, then we moved to Switzerland and I was heartbroken for months."

"Yeah, so was I," I agreed. "I turned into a recluse for a while, really worrying my parents."

"Anyway, now, after I've met you again by coincidence, I finally might get my chance."

"Really? Quite the coincidence, is it?" I said jokingly, not meaning anything by it.

She looked at me, suddenly frowning. It was really cute to watch.

"You're right," she stated, not making any sense.

"I'm right?" That was weird. Not only had a woman admitted that I was right, but I wasn't even aware I had said something disputable.

"I don't want to start this with a lie," she explained. "As soon as I was financially independent, I started looking for you. I... please don't be mad, I hired someone to find you. I moved into the area and I... ah... I kind of stalked you. Well, being rich, it was the only thing I did for a few months." She laughed a bit nervously.

"Wow, I never noticed." Talk about feeling flattered.

"I was good, right? Anyway, the night I was trying to hit on you in the 08/15 wasn't the first time I saw you. I'd been watching you and the bitch for quite a while, and I was always astonished how she treated you. I hoped you'd finally had enough and made my move. Unfortunately, you were still not willing to jump ship, so I had to activate plan 'Max'."

My next laugh was liberating. It also meant I was over losing Eva and was ready to start something new. No, to rekindle something old. I felt relaxed and free. The woman I currently was in bed with had just blown my problems away, no pun intended.

"How did you manage to pull that off?"

"It took a bit of planning, I admit. Max told me, of course, when the big swapping weekend was about to happen. An honest guy like you would never go for the swap and would almost certainly move out immediately. The first thing you'd need would be a small apartment. I purchased the apartment I showed you just for the occasion, followed you after the big confrontation with the bitch until I knew where you'd look and placed the ad just for you. That was the easy part. I just had to hope that you'd find me attractive. After all, you didn't even look twice at me at the club. I planned that you'd move into the apartment and then I would have time to seduce you."

I had to laugh again. I hadn't laughed this much in quite a while. "Seriously? Have you looked in the mirror recently?" Surprisingly, she looked a bit confused. How could a woman like her have self-doubts? It seemed nobody was immune to those. "You have no idea how much I find you attractive," I quickly added.

She looked relieved. "Good. From here on, it's going to be easy. I'm going to leave you no chance, you're going to fall in love with me and then I'm going to keep you. I'll never risk losing you by doing the shit your ex did. You're mine now," she said with a determined look. It was beyond cute and oh, so beautiful. It was the first time I had heard the word "ex" when referring to Eva, but it sounded completely right.

I had to laugh yet again; this was too good to be true.

*****

On Sunday evening we were lounging on her enormous sofa, still unable to keep our hands off each other, when my phone rang. It was Eva. I didn't look forward to it, but it seemed unavoidable.

"Hello, Eva."

"Honey, where are you? I'm worried. Lena says she hasn't even seen you." She sounded really concerned, and she had every right to be. I spent a luxurious and sensuous weekend with another woman, just like Eva had suggested. It was just with a different woman, but that shouldn't matter, I thought. I had done what she wanted.

"That's right," I curtly replied.

"Eric, that's not how this was supposed to work. I got my time with Max..."

"Ah, Max. Did he live up to your expectations?" I interrupted her.

"Ah, well, yes and no. He is physically very attractive, but as a lover, he can't hold a candle to you."

My new girlfriend Sonja had already confirmed she felt the same about him.

"Eric, we need to even things out. You need to have your fling as well. Your wild experience. You need to spend a night with Lena. Then we will grow old together, faithful to each other."

"Eva, you don't have to worry. I've had sex with another woman. Lots of times, actually."

"What? That bitch Lena. She told me..."

"Not with Lena," I interrupted her again. "With my new girlfriend." That earned me a big smacker from Sonja.

"Eric, what is happening here? We agreed to each have one short fling and then return to each other."

"I agreed to nothing. You just went ahead. I've finally had enough of the constant flirting, disrespect, subtle cheating and bitchiness. I never found a way to deal with that, but now I have. I have met another woman, one who is loyal." At least I hoped she was, but that wasn't the time to bring up doubts.

"Eric, you are already married," she cried.

"Not for much longer," I said as I hung up. There wasn't anything else to say. The rest would be just formalities. I didn't want to spend any energy on the past, the future looked too promising for that.

"You're mine now," Sonja reminded me in a very possessive way.

This was like a dream, I had to laugh again while I just nodded.

*****

I still laugh from time to time, although we've been happily married for five years now. Eva tried to convince me she could change. I doubted it, but it really didn't matter anymore. I was in love, but it wasn't with her. She wasn't able to stop the divorce, which was rather painless due to our lack of wealth.

Thinking about that weekend is still funny and my new marriage is almost too good to be true. Well, almost, because it is true.