Thankful

"That's Nick-speak for hot," Pris explained to Michelle.

"That might not be enough, though," Michelle said. "Look, Nick. Kelly grew up with those birthmarks. And she got made fun of a lot because of it. Then, she got big. Like really big. Not as big as she is now, of course. But, bigger than any guy her age, much less the girls. You may or may not have realized, but guys like girls that make them feel big and girls like guys that make them feel dainty. That just wasn't possible with Kelly. I think she might have been willing to settle for a smaller guy, but she couldn't find one willing to settle for a woman that made them feel like a dwarf."

"Most anybody over the age of fourteen makes me feel like a dwarf," I said.

"Er, well, yeah," Michelle said. "I suppose. But, I was talking about Kelly. You need to understand. Her senior year in high school, she finally had a guy ask her out. Obviously, I don't know the whole story, but from what I was able to piece together either it turned out to be a cruel prank instead or something happened to show just how much stronger Kelly was and he couldn't handle it and played it off as if it were a prank. Kelly slashed her wrists that night."

I was pretty sure I knew precisely how Kelly had felt when she laid the blade against her skin. But, a quick glance at Pris kept me from admitting it. No one had known just how close I'd come, and I was determined they wouldn't find out. I owed Mom and Pris that much.

"Our point, Nick," Pris said, "Mom and Aunt Regina and Laurell are back there right now trying to convince Kelly that you aren't like that guy. But, what I need to know is where you stand in all this."

"Er, I'm not sure just what you mean, Sis," I admitted.

"How do you feel about Kelly?"

"How do I feel about Kelly?" I asked. "How am I supposed to feel about Kelly? I hardly know her. Look, she's beautiful. Or, at least, I think she is. She's also a jock. And my history with beautiful women and jocks isn't... Well, everything I know about Kelly is pretty cool so far. But, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"And what if there is no other shoe?" Michelle asked. "What if what you see is what you get?"

"I don't know, Michelle," I sighed. "I guess I'd have to stick around and see that to believe it."

"But, you'd be willing to?" Pris asked.

"Um. I'm not really sure what we are talking about. I mean, we're just here for Thanksgiving weekend. I can't stay here for Christmas or anything. I have to go back to finish up school. And there's always work. But, I mean, if we are talking about would I like to get to know her better, as we can this weekend and through letters and stuff after, then sure. Yes. I'm interested in her."

"That's all we needed to know right there," Pris said. "That you're interested. Okay. I'll talk to her for you."

"What? Wait," I said.

But, it was too late. Pris and Michelle both flounced off back around to the other side of the house.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, both what I'd seen and Michelle's assurances, I still wasn't sure I wanted to risk opening myself up to the hurt that always happened anytime a pretty girl knew I thought she was pretty. Admitting all that to Pris and Michelle had been one thing. Having them relay it to Kelly was something else altogether.

After a moment of thought, I took what seemed to me the wisest course of action. I fled.

Forty-five minutes later, Kelly found me churning out laps at the park. When I spotted her sitting on the swings, watching me, I almost turned around and went the other way. I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to her. I wasn't sure what to say.

More than anything, I wasn't sure I wanted to hear what she would say.

"I like you," Kelly said as I took my headphones off. "They tell me I can trust you. I want to. But, I'm not sure I can."

"Well, we're in a pickle," I said. "Because I like you, as I'm sure they told you. But, I don't trust you and I'm not sure I ever will."

It's difficult to find silence in a bustling city, but for just a moment there was a bubble of silence in that park around Kelly and I that shut out the sound of the cars driving by, the people loading and unloading in the driveways of the nearby houses, and the children playing a pick-up game of football out on the grass in the middle.

"So, what do we do about it?" Kelly finally asked.

"Hell if I know," I shrugged. "If you want help with calculus, I'm your guy. But, this is all new and unexplored territory to me. At least you aren't laughing at me because I like you. I guess that's something."

"Why would I laugh at that?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "But, they always do. Or did. Or have. Whatever."

"I guess that must be kind of scary," Kelly admitted after a moment. "I mean, I got laughed at enough. More than enough. But, I never admitted to anyone before that I liked them. Girls don't do that, you know. And despite what I look like, I'm a girl."

"No," I said slowly. "You're a woman. Definitely a woman."

Kelly blushed and ducked her head shyly.

"Listen, I need to walk some more," I said. "Would you, maybe, like to walk with me? Maybe talk some more?"

"I would," Kelly said, coming to her feet. "Thank you."

"So, who is Kelly?" I asked. "What do you think is the most important thing I could possibly know about you that I don't already?"

"I don't really know," Kelly replied. "I lift, but you know that. I'm pretty much always training and competing. I don't have many friends other than Ollie. Never really have. My teammates, maybe. But, I hardly see them except for team meetings and competitions."

"That sounds familiar," I said. "I don't have any friends either. If I did, I wouldn't count Ollie among them. And pretty much all I do is study and work."

"What's the deal with you and Ollie anyway?"

"No idea. Well, Laurell seems to think Ollie has some issues because I'm male and she isn't. I didn't completely understand what she was saying. But, anyway, Ollie has picked on me my entire life. And every time I have fought back, she has trounced me."

"Well, she had your back earlier."

"Yes, she did," I admitted. "And so did you."

"I'm sorry," Kelly said, blushing.

"I'm not. If you hadn't, this could have been much worse. How does it look by the way? I haven't seen a mirror."

"A bit like Rocky the Raccoon. Does it hurt?"

"Nah. Ollie has given me much worse. Well, speak of the devil. Say. If she's coming out here to give me a matching set, will you protect me?"

"That doesn't bother you?" Kelly asked.

I glanced up at her to see her looking down at me and nibbling her lip nervously.

"Er, no. Why would it?"

"Some guys... Well, most guys really. It bothers them that I'm stronger than them."

"Don't let it go to your head," I snorted. "A twelve-year-old Girl Scout kicked my ass a couple of years ago. Being bigger and stronger than me isn't that hard."

"What? A Girl Scout?" Kelly giggled. "You're making that up."

"Nope. There was a missing case of Thin Mints involved. It was embarrassing. Um, Kelly? Doesn't it bother you that I'm not bigger and stronger?"

"Not if it doesn't bother you," Kelly said.

"Kellster, are we going to lift?" Olivia asked as she rolled up on us.

Kelly glanced at me.

"Hey, if you need to go to work, you need to go to work," I smiled. "I'm going to do a few more laps and then I'll head back and do some reading. We can talk more later."

"I would like that," Kelly said as she allowed Olivia to lead her away. "I would like that very much."

By the time I'd made a few more laps and wandered back to the house, the sun was dipping low on the horizon. Uncle Billy was awake and everybody but Kelly and Olivia was back in the living room, waiting to pounce.

"So, how'd it go?" Pris asked before I could get the door shut.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I would guess about five or six miles. You know I don't bother keeping count."

"Not... Argh!"

"She means your talk with Kelly, Nick." Mom said, laughing.

"Well, she caught up with me and we sat on the swings and talked," I said as I took my seat on the couch. "Then we walked and talked. Then Olivia came and got her and I walked a little more. That's about it."

"You know," Michelle growled. "I'm starting to see Olivia's side of things. What did you two talk about, Nick?"

"Oh, I don't know," I grinned. "What do people usually talk about? Just stuff. You know?"

Uncle Billy looked like he was about to fall out of his chair from chuckling so hard. Mom and Aunt Regina weren't far behind. Despite the threats, even the cheer couch was all smiles.

"Fine," I sighed. "If you must know, I told her about Shanni Waters beating me up a couple of years ago over that missing case of Thin Mints."

"Oh, my God!" Pris clapped her hands over her mouth. "You didn't tell her that story!"

"I did."

"Nick! You swore you would never tell anybody I took them!"

"What?!"

"Pris!"

"You didn't!"

"And I never have," I grinned. "And never would have."

"Uh," Pris glanced around at our family all staring at her. "Look, there were extenuating circumstances."

"Uh huh," Mom said. "And just what were these extenuating circumstances?"

"Plead the fifth, Pris," Aunt Regina chimed in. "Maybe I can get you a lesser sentence for good behavior."

"No way!" Laurell said. "This I've got to hear."

"Me too," Michelle added. "Spill it, Miss Pris."

"Well, Mom had gone all funny, trying to feed us all Nick's diet for a couple of months there. I never quite knew why."

"Don't turn this around on me, young lady," Mom sputtered. "I had my reasons. Maybe not very good ones."

"Hang on," Uncle Billy said. "You said this was a couple of years ago. When Nick was seventeen?"

"Sixteen," Pris and I both corrected.

"Three years ago then. But, why did you wait until then to do it if you hadn't before?"

"I would rather not say," Mom said. "And besides, this isn't about me. It's about your niece stealing."

"We'll come back to that," Uncle Billy said. "I know you, Sis. And you're squirming like a worm on a hook. What caused you to do that?"

"Kevin was being a prick," Mom said. "He usually was. But, he'd pushed me too far, complaining about supper one night. So, for a week, I fed us all what Nick could eat."

"A month," Pris said.

"It was a week!"

"It was four weeks and I lost twenty pounds!"

"It was a month, Mom," I said gently. "I remember. I never knew why. I thought it was some sort of family solidarity thing. To show support for me or something. And I was really touched that you all would do that for me for so long."

"Oh, honey, it was," Mom said, reaching out to take my hand. "For Pris and I, at least."

"Yeah. Dad must have been thrilled."

"If you must know, he was an asshole about it," Mom grinned. "I guess that's why I did it for four weeks instead of the one I'd planned."

"I don't know whether to say 'way to go' or 'thanks a lot," Pris said. "So, anyway, they were selling Girl Scout Cookies just then. I was starving. My boyfriend broke up with me. And, come on. At the best of times, a girl needs a little chocolate covered minty goodness in her life."

"So, you stole them?" Mom asked.

"No," I said. "Not exactly. She did take the case of cookies, fully intending to pay for them. Only she didn't have enough to cover it and neither you nor Dad would give it to her. When she came to me, I took the money to Shanni."

"And she beat you up?" Michelle asked. "That doesn't make sense."

"You would have had to have been there," I said. "It wasn't pretty."

"All this talk about food is making me hungry," Uncle Billy complained.

"Of course it is," all the women shouted.

"Well, it is!" Uncle Billy joined the laughter. "Isn't it about supper time?"

Friday meals were, of course, always leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner on those weekends. But, we didn't do the prayer circle thing, so that was something.

Instead, Mom and Aunt Regina would warm up what needed to be warmed up and set it out, then we would all parade around to fix our plates and return to the living room to eat together. Not being required to join the rush, I always waited until everybody else was back to fix my own. Uncle Billy always waited in his chair for someone, usually Michelle, to bring him a plate.

"So," Uncle Billy said when the girls were all gone to the kitchen. "You and Kelly are getting along alright, then?"

"I think it's safe to say that," I said. "At least so far. It's hard to say more."

"It always is," Uncle Billy nodded sagely. "Just be careful you aren't fighting the last several battles, neither of you, and everything should be all right. You two are two of my favorite people for the very simple reason that you're both good people."

Kelly herself saved me from more sage wisdom, coming in carrying a plate. She was wearing her workout clothes and was shiny with sweat. I shifted a little and tried not to stare as she handed me her plate while she spread a towel for her to sit on.

"Well, I guess I'll go see what the hold up is," Uncle Billy said, rising to his feet.

"I'm sorry," Kelly said, as she took her plate back. "Does it bother you seeing me dressed like this?"

"Um. Bother might not be the right word," I said as I shifted a bit more. "I like it. Maybe too much."

My face felt like it was about to burst into flames. I half expected Kelly to burst into laughter. Or to at least make a joke.

"But, I'm all sweaty," Kelly said, her eyes on her plates.

"I, um, I noticed."

"That happens when you actually do something every once in awhile," Olivia said as she came around carrying her own plate. "You should look into it sometime, Nick. Working up a sweat could be good for you."

Olivia was similarly still clad in her workout clothes of shorts and a sports bra. And was also covered in a sheen of sweat. Unlike Kelly, however, she didn't put a towel down but flopped down on the couch without pause.

"Some ways of working up a sweat might," I said. "But, I don't think lifting would be."

For some reason, Kelly choked just a bit and glanced over at me with wide eyes.

"I mean for me," I clarified. "It's obviously good for you. But, I'm not built for it. I'd have to look at a different way of working up a sweat."

I wasn't sure just where I'd gone off the rails, but Kelly's eyes widened further and Olivia barked a laugh that sprayed a mouthful of food out into the carpeted area.

"Gross, Ollie!" Michelle said as the cheer squad rejoined us. "What the hell?"

"Nick just offered to work up a sweat with Kelly," Olivia gasped out. "Not lifting. Something else."

Oh, God. When Olivia put it that way...

"I didn't mean... I meant...," I trailed off, looking at the sea of feminine faces, Laurell and Pris having come in to join the roast. "I think I'm going to shut up now and go get a plate."

Kelly was the only one not giggling and her face was almost as red as mine felt. I almost bumped into Uncle Billy rounding the corner.

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing! I swear!" I said.

"Nick was just going to get some ice," Michelle giggled. "Something cold anyway."

"Stop it," Kelly's voice said behind me as I fled.

Mom and Aunt Regina were leaving with their plates as I entered the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Nick," Aunt Regina said. "I only made the one batch for you. I wasn't sure if it would work, or if you would like it."

"That's okay, Aunt Regina. I had the best Thanksgiving meal, actually the best meal of any kind, I've ever had thanks to your efforts. Thank you."

"You are most welcome," Aunt Regina said, obviously pleased I'd liked it so well. "I'm afraid, though, the best we can do tonight is the same old stuff you're used to."

"I'll manage," I said. "If I ate like that all the time, I wouldn't know how to act."

Mom and Aunt Regina left me alone to make their way to the living room. I rooted around under my special cupboard for a couple of jars of baby food. It would be a letdown since I'd secretly been hoping for more of whatever that was, but I would manage.

Kelly came in while I was fixing my plate.

"Nick, I'm sorry," Kelly said. "I wasn't laughing. I didn't laugh. I knew you didn't mean it that way."

If she had said anything else, I might not have had the courage to say what I did next and that pivotal weekend might have ended much differently.

"The thing that makes what Ollie says so embarrassing is that there is always an element of truth to them," I said, not looking up from my plate. "The fact is, Kelly, although I didn't mean it that way when I said it, I would like to work up a sweat with you in just the way Ollie was teasing us about. I wouldn't have said it, much less acted on it. But,... Well, anyway."

"But, you hardly know me," Kelly said.

"I know," I shrugged. "Pris and I have talked about it, and I guess guys and girls are wired differently or something. I wouldn't have said anything. I certainly wouldn't have acted on it until we got to know each other a little better, assuming I still felt the same and you felt that way about me. But, not really knowing you doesn't change the fact that I think you are very beautiful. And very sexy."

Although I couldn't bring myself to look at her, I knew she was still standing there in the doorway. I could feel her there, watching me scoop the goop that served as my food on my plate.

"Maybe guys and girls aren't as different as you think," Kelly said, finally. "Because I do feel the same way about you."

I snapped my head around fast enough something in my neck popped. But, her ankle was all I could see as she left to go back to the living room.

Did she really mean it? Did she really feel as sexually attracted to me as I felt to her? Or had she not understood exactly what I was getting at?

I was confused. When I wandered back, with my own plate, to the living room where everyone was eating, I couldn't tell from looking at Kelly just what she'd meant. I probably wouldn't have been able to anyway, but she wouldn't meet my eyes.

Olivia gave me one of her patented sneers but didn't make any comment as I took my seat next to Kelly.

"Oh, come on, Dad," Laurell said. "A couple of hours without sports or news won't kill you."

"Why take the chance?" Uncle Billy asked.

I didn't have the first idea what was going on, but I was all for not having predigested "news" regurgitated at me while I was eating. Or sports. My eyes bounced from one to another like a tennis match as my sister and two elder cousins tried to get Uncle Billy off the sports or news stations.

"Well, I'm not listening to that stuff you kids call music!"

"Well, I don't know why we pay for all those movie channels," Aunt Regina said calmly. "We almost never watch them."

"That's because there's nothing worth watching on them!"

"How would you know?" Mom laughed. "You have to actually change the channel off ESPN or CNN and switch it over there to see."

"Do not!" Uncle Billy said, digging a magazine out from beside his hip to wave at them. "I can look right here and see everything that's going to be on for the whole week."

"All right then, smarty pants," Mom shot back. "Look in your 'TV Guide' and tell us what's on that isn't worth watching."

I watched as Uncle Billy set his plate aside and started flipping through the pages. I listened as he started listing off the names, most of which I didn't recognize, although several caused the cheer squad to chime in.

"That one," I said as I heard one I recognized.

"Eh?" Uncle Billy paused and looked at me. "'Princess Bride'?"

"Kelly was watching that one yesterday morning," I said. "It was pretty good. But, she didn't get to see the ending."

It took a little more persuading, but Uncle Billy eventually flipped over to that station. Just in time to catch the opening credits.