Thanks for Giving

My wife Heidi and I had been married for 16 years when she died. It had been a year long battle, but in the end we lost. I was in mourning for a long time, I didn't wear black everyday, but everyday felt gray. I withdrew from the world, and spent my days alone. I missed her, and I never knew how much I really loved her until she was gone. I have never been an emotional person, but losing her put me in touch with my feelings. I cried everyday, for what seemed like months. Anytime I thought of her, I just broke down.

I hadn't cried when my father or brothers died, and had always been the strong one. I was the shoulder to cry on for my mom, and sisters in law, but I never cried. I finally went to see a grief counselor and learned how to open up and embrace loss. I talked about my dad dying young (heart attack) and losing my brothers Jim and Jack when their boat capsized deep sea fishing. He taught me to remember the good without it feeling so bad. He helped me to enjoy life in the moment and I gained a new perspective. Live every fucking day, because it might be your last.

I decided then and there to make some changes. I had let myself go taking care of Heidi. I joined a gym and got back into fighting shape. I quit my boring job as the head of IT for a soulless corporation, and started a consulting company. It was a bit less money, but I owned my life. I worked for who I wanted and when I wanted. I put away the suits and replaced them with jeans and t shirts.

I felt and looked great, but I was still alone, and I was lonely. The problem was I didn't know how to engage with people personally, it was uncomfortable. It always started out good, but at some point I would have to talk about how Heidi died. I didn't want to talk about it, and I wasn't ready to share that part of my life with anyone else. I still struggled with losing so many people I loved, and feared letting anyone new in.

The last couple of years I had avoided the holidays. I called my mom, but spent them at home alone. It was sad and pathetic. I had grown to hate the holidays and everything about them. Without someone to share them, it just wasn't worth celebrating.

This year though, my mom had convinced me to fly home for Thanksgiving. I was reluctant at first, worried it would be a day of reliving painful memories, but mom reassured me and said she wanted to be with family.

There wasn't much of a family left, It was just me and her, and so I agreed. My mother was the typical mom. Sweet, kind and worried about her baby boy. She called regularly and we talked, she emailed articles about loss and how to start living again, and she was always there for me. She too was alone, it had been ten years since dad's heart attack changed her world. She had a lot of friends and kept herself busy, but I worried about her too.

After agreeing to go home, I decided to make a trip of it and planned to stay ten days. I would go early and stay a few days after to avoid the crowds. I signed up for a two day conference, it was pretty remedial stuff, but now I could write the trip off on my taxes. I went shopping. I needed some warmer clothes for Chicago, Seattle wasn't the tropics, but nowhere as cold as back east. I bought some sweaters, flannel shirts and a winter coat.

The flight was a mix of emotions. It was good to get back home, but It was the first time flying since we had gone to Hawaii. I put on headphones and zoned out to an audio book on entrepreneurship. Landing in Chicago I mad my way through the airport to where my mom said she would be waiting for me. I had wanted to take a taxi, but she insisted picking me up, and I gave in.

As I walked out of the security zone, I saw a large hand written sign "Welcome home Michael!" with a picture of me from high school. This was just the kind of thing my mom would do, but it wasn't my mom waiting. It was Kate and Mags my sisters in law. I hadn't seen or talked to them since the funeral, and was surprised to see them here.

My sisters in law were absolutely gorgeous. They looked like a mix of playboy bunny and a model.

"Surprise" they yelled in unison as I walked up.

"Yeah, you could say that." I replied smiling "Mom didn't say"

"Well it wouldn't be a surprise if she did" Kate interrupted.

Kate was a bottle blonde with an amazing hourglass figure. As a butt man, I always liked her ample ass. It was bigger, but not fat just really well defined. She always wore tight pants that accentuated it, I guess she knew how much it affected us men.

Mags on the other hand was a petite red head with huge boobs. I'm pretty sure they were fake, but who fucking cares. Her body was tight and athletic, just what you's expect from a gym owner.

We hugged laughed at Mom's trick and walked to the baggage area. They led and I followed. I had forgotten how gorgeous they both were, and their hugs were the first female touch I had in two years. They looked good in their tight jeans and sweaters, and did my best to keep it platonic. These were my brother's widows, and I felt guilty thinking about how sexy they looked. Once or twice I think they caught me checking them out, and while I don't think they cared I blushed and looked away.

We waited at the baggage area and shared some small talk. Eventually the subject turned to loss, and I spoke for the first time about my feelings and loneliness. it was the first time i had really opened up to anyone other then my counselor. It felt good to share, but quickly became overwhelming. Mags noticed my struggle and changed the subject. She and Kate critiqued the women in the area rating their clothes, shoes and hair. I gathered myself and waited silently.

When my bag arrived, I grabbed it and we walked arm in arm to the car. The drive to Mom's was a long ride, but it felt quick. We talked about the past, joked and sang along to the radio.

Pulling into the driveway brought a lot of memories back, and I couldn't help but smile as the house was the only one on the block not decorated. I grabbed my bag and we walked to the door. Mom opened the door and flung her arms around my neck, I hugged her tightly and broke down right there. Kate and Mags grabbed my bag and took it to my room. Mom and I went to the living room and talked. After an hour I had let it all out, I felt better but exhausted, and decided to get ready for dinner.

My room was upstairs past Kate and Mags. I peeked into each one as I walked by . Kate's room was neat and tidy no surprise there, she was always so organized. I really didn't know much about Mags, so I didn't know what I'd see, but I was caught off guard. The bed was unmade, a pair of panties laying in the middle hiding what seemed to be a dildo. It was almost completely covered, but I could make a cock head poking out from underneath. I was shocked by her boldness, didn't she care if someone saw it? I wanted to stop and get a better look, but was afraid to get caught. I didn't want to be the pervert who came to Thanksgiving.

I got to my room, unpacked and took a shower to wash off the travel grime. Stepping into the shower I couldn't stop thinking about Mags and her dildo. The blood surged to my cock and I started stroking it. I pictured her thrusting it in and out of her pussy below her flame colored bush. I envisioned her bent over her mattress, that firm ass up in the air, moaning as I rubbed my cock on her tiny little bud. That was it, I came hard spraying my load all over the shower wall. It had been a while, and all the pent up sexual energy erupted out of me like lava exploding out of a volcano. I moaned loud enough that I worried about someone hearing me. I rushed through the rest of my shower, got dressed in a pair of tight jeans and a form fitting t shirt. I figured I might as well fight fire with fire.

I went downstairs to find everyone drinking wine and working on dinner. There was music playing in the background that surely masked my outburst. As I waked into the kitchen, Kate handed me a glass of wine. "Did you enjoy your shower?" she asked with a coy smile. It might have been an innocent question, but was it?

"It was good." I said trying to act natural, and hide my embarrassment.

"Good." She replied with a smile, but she was still too hard to read. I needed an exit and asked mom if I could help and got salad duty.

I had worked my way through college as a sous chef, and loved to show off my knife skills. Chopping the vegetables, I did my best to impress and was pleased to get some attention.

"Wow" Mags exclaimed "look at that touch and control. That is impressive." It seemed like she was flirting, but I realized it had been so long without sex that I was probably imagining. We finished out parts and sat down to dinner. The food was awesome, and the conversation was light and carefree. We talked about our jobs and told stories about difficult customers, and our odd coworkers.

After dinner, I offered to do the cleanup and the ladies left me to my work. As I was finishing up mom came, hugged me and went to bed. I wiped down the counters and went to look for the girls.

Mags and Kate were sitting in the living room on an over sized couch drinking wine. I'm not sure how much they had, but there were two empties and two bottles remaining. They stopped talking as I walked in, and once again Kate offered me a glass of wine. Bending down to take the glass from her, gave me a great view of her cleavage. "You like?" she asked.

I blushed, figuring I was busted and took a gulp from my glass.

"It's a Sirah from a local vineyard." She smiled.

I smiled back. "Yeah, it's good, and I'm a big Sirah fan."

"A big fan huh?" Mags chimed in staring at my crotch and this time there was no doubt it was an innuendo.

I did my best to remain composed, but I was definitely out manned. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and my cock. I looked at Kate who took mercy on me and changed the subject.

"So did you have any plans for your trip?" She asked dryly.

"There's a work conference, and I'd like to see the Bears." I replied.

Mags jumped back in "That's a great idea! Why don't we all go see the Bears this Weekend."

"Well we'd have to go to Detroit" Kate advised "but I'm in."

"Well?" Mags looked at me "are you game?"

"Sure" I'm in, and I purchased the tickets on my phone.

We talked about the team, and how fun it would be to take a trip. We decided we'd drive up the day before and spend the night. I suggested we book our rooms and once again things took an interesting turn.

"Rooms, why don't we just share one? After all we're family and what's going to happen?" Mags asked with a wicked smile.

I agreed to their plan reluctantly, but just the thought of sharing a room with these beautiful women got me rock hard. I did my best not to picture them in lingerie. I must've zoned out, because I didn't hear Kate talking to me.

"So, what wicked thoughts are going through your mind right now?" She all but whispered refilling my glass. "Are we too boring for you?"

I snapped out of my day dream, and stammered "No, of course not."

The girls giggled and I knew I was busted. After another glass of wine, they suggested we play truth or dare. I agreed, but expected it would be pretty lame.

The first group of questions were pretty vanilla. When did you lose you virginity? What feature do you like best in the opposite sex? and more questions like that. Then Kate broke it open by asking Mags if she'd ever been with a woman. I sat on the edge of my seat waiting for the answer.

Mags smiled and looked surprised at the question. "Kate, why would you ask me that? You know i'm bisexual."

WOW! Kate may have known, but I didn't. I was up next. "Truth" I said confidently.

Mags looked deeply into my eyes from across the room. It was sexy and awkward. "So Michael, what did you fantasize about the last time you jerked off?"

There was no way I could answer that question. If I told the truth I would be kicked out like a pervert. "Can I change to dare?" I asked hoping for leniency?

Mags looked at Kate and smiled. "Sure, but you only get one chance to change. Are you sure?"

"Yes." There was no doubt

"Okay then, Take off you pants and model your undies for us."

Fuck, it was a lose-lose situation. My raging hard on was doing it's best to break out of my pants. The boxer briefs I wore would expose me for sure.

"Well Michael?" Mags taunted "Afraid you won't measure up?"

I stood, turned my back, bent down and dropped my pants. Then I held them up in front of my crotch and walked to the center of the room. I looked at Mags and through my pants to the side. I expected to get some grief about my boner, but instead her jaw dropped momentarily and she looked over at Kate and smiled.

I guess I measured up fine, and decided to take the opportunity to give her some crap. "I hope I didn't disappoint you, I doubt I measure up to that dildo on your bed."

Mags turned beet red, and Kate laughed so hard she snorted. I figured I'd gained the upper hand, but once again I was wrong.

Mags gave me a wink and a wicked smile. "Listen stud, I don't know how you know about that, but i don't think you're ready for that answer!"

I wasn't quite sure what she meant, and didn't feel like pushing the issue any further. Mags and I locked eyes, but neither spoke. It was awkward and tense.

A minute or two passed and then Kate jumped in. "Well, I think that's it for me, I'm going to bed."

Mags and I laughed and decided to turn in as well. I left the room, and they cleaned up the empties and glasses. A bit later I heard them walk up the stairs. They were talking and laughing. I tried to make out what they were saying, but the closer they got the quieter they spoke.

That night I had a dream that I walked in on Mags and Kate having sex. I watched as they ate each other's pussy in the sixty nine position until they both came squirting on each other's face. In the dream, I grabbed my cock and started stroking it. Then Mags picked up the dildo and panties. It turned out to be a strap on and harness. She stepped into the harness and started fucking Kate doggies style. Kate moaned loudly each time Mags thrust into her until she came again. I felt my load bubbling up in my loins and then Mags turned, grabbed her cock and pointed it at me. She smiled that wicked smile "Now it's your turn slut."

I woke up, freaked out by what had just happened in the dream. I laid there my cock hard and leaking pre-cum, and tried to make sense of the dream. What was my subconscious telling me? Was this some sort of premonition or a way of trying to sort out the night before?

Heidi used to slip a finger in my ass when she gave me a blowjob, but we never went any further. And I never, ever thought about going any further. Until now, and now I couldn't stop thinking about it. Did Mags want to fuck me with her dildo? Did I want her to? Why was my cock still hard as a rock? All these thought were giving me a headache. I closed my eyes trying to fall back asleep, but the vision of Mags taunting me with her dildo kept flashing before me.

I gave up trying to sleep and looked at the clock. It was six AM, earlier than I wanted, but I decided to go for a run. I got dressed, put on my shoes and crept out of my room. I tip toed down the hallway, past Mags room. Her door was slightly a jar, peeking in I saw her sleeping deeply under the covers. As i watched her, the dream came back to me and I heard her again. She stirred, and I panicked and rushed down the stairs and out the door.

I slipped on my headphones and cranked up volume. The morning air was cold and crisp, but within a couple of miles I was sweating. I did my best to put that dream out of my head, and focus on the city around me. I looked at the architecture, thought about the social economics of the area and tried to imagine the lives of the neighbors. It seemed like every time i stopped thinking about it a provocative song would play making me think about sex and Mags and her cock. After six miles I turned back and made my way home. It was a good work out, and I was sweaty and worn out.

Mom and the ladies were up when I got back. They were having coffee and making breakfast. Mom saw me come in "Morning sunshine. Breakfast is almost ready."

"I need to shower, but I'll be down in a minute." I called back jogging up the stairs.

The long run had got my heart rate up, but it did nothing to calm my raging hard on. I stripped, stepped into the shower and soaped up. I closed my eyes to rinse my hair and pictured the dream. I imagined Mags as she took my hand, bent me over the mattress and pushed her cock in my ass. I stroked my cock, and came almost immediately. "Oh FUCK! Oh FUCK YES!" I came hard, shooting a huge load all over the shower wall. My legs buckled and I dropped to my knees. That was one of the biggest orgasms I had ever had. I sat on the shower floor, panting and trying to slow my heart rate.

What the hell? What was I thinking, and why did that make me cum? "Now it's your turn." Where did that come from? I made my way to my feet, stepped out of the shower, dried off and tried to make sense of it all, but I couldn't. I got dressed, and went downstairs to grab some breakfast.

Mom and the girls were downstairs drinking coffee and finishing their breakfast. I'm not sure what they were talking about, but they stopped suddenly and stared at me when I walked in. They looked guilty and it felt pretty awkward. I was left wondering if they had heard me again.

"Good morning sunshine, let me get you some breakfast." The girls said in unison, my mom gave me a hug, and walked to the kitchen.

I wasn't sure if they had heard my antics in the shower, but they all acted as if nothing happened. I grabbed some coffee, and made my way to the table. I glanced at Mags and made eye contact. She winked at me, I felt my face flush and quickly looked away.

"Every thing okay Michael?" She asked genuinely.

"Yeah, I'm good just probably overexerted myself." I tried to be cool, but every time I looked at her I thought about that dream.

Kate leaned over my shoulder and put my breakfast on the table "Did you enjoy your shower?" She whispered in my ear, but I felt like everyone had heard. Fuck! They must've heard me. I ate fast, said goodbye and headed to the conference.

I had signed up for a teaching by a famous computer entrepreneur, but due to inclement weather, his flight was cancelled. Instead I took part in a brainstorming session on what the next major industry breakthrough might be. The discussion started out okay, but soon it was like a box of frogs. Everybody wanted to give their opinion, and nobody wanted to listen. Frustrated I pretended to go the bathroom, and ducked out. I decided to grab some lunch and googled local diners. I found one that was rated highly about ten blocks away. On the way I passed several small boutique stores. A suit maker, a cobbler, and a sex shop named "His and Hers." I thought about stopping in, but I was so hungry that I continued on to the diner.

After a very satisfying lunch, I decided to walk back and visit the sex shop. The shop was empty, except for a woman behind the counter. I was nervous when I first saw her, but she barely noticed me. I looked around the shop, and then made my way to the dildo section. The selection was overwhelming. They had every size, style, color and shape of dildo you could imagine. I browsed through them, trying to see if there were any strap-ons. I turned down the next aisle and found the mother load. There were all kinds of harnesses. and strap-on sets. About midway down the aisle was one called the Sasha that resembled the panties I had seen on Mags bed. I picked them up and examined them thoroughly trying to determine if this was what I saw on her bed. It was hard to be sure, but I would bet on it.