That Bacon Sandwich Smile

I knelt quickly down, and straightaway buried my face in his bush, to orient myself, buy some time, work out what I was meant to be doing here. He had a crotch smell...a quick dip in plain cold water had probably blunted it some, but not erased it. Sweat and work and man, but his skin was clean, cool and soft, delicate almost. Gorgeous. Mouth-watering.

I was still kinda hesitant when I first took him in, but that lasted all of a second. I'd forgotten how sensitive your tongue is, how much you can feel, not just taste, with your mouth. So much contrast, so much everything. Mind-boggling. Up, and down, drooling everywhere, tight smooth skin in a long lap under my tongue when I relaxed it broad and flat, giving way to concertinaed folds under the head that I could riffle and burrow into when I tensed it to a point.

He liked that, I could tell. I could tell, because I could feel everything, transmitting through, and I could not get enough of it. I soon sensed it coming to an end, though. He hadn't thrust into me initially, had been letting me explore in my own time, figure it out for myself, but he'd started to twitch his hips, to back-and-forth minimally, then less minimally. I just moulded myself to him like a limpet, bracing my hands on his thighs, and let him clasp my skull in his hands, get on with the doing while I revelled in the feeling, and in no time at all he was spurting into my mouth, I was swallowing him down, and it was done. We were done.

I came back to earth with a cold hard thump. What now? What was he going to do? Call me a fag? Point and laugh? Tell his mates - my brother - that I sucked dick? Or just walk off and ignore me? I decided to walk off myself before I could find out, but as I was scrambling to my feet he caught my wrist, arrested me, made me look at him.

"That was sweet...fuckin' A," he breathed, leaning in, "and hey, if you think you might want more, you come and find me later. After dinner, alright?"

I nodded blindly and stumbled away, too fogged with arousal shot through with fading stabs of panic - god, that could have gone so wrong - to give him an answer.

It was all hell in the house when I got there. I couldn't risk a wank because Lucas was done for the day, and instead of sitting on his arse staring at his phone in the lounge, he was sitting on his arse staring at his phone in the bedroom, and the bathroom was right through the wall, and just...nah...

Also I had no spare time, as I was angrily reminded by Mum. "Where the hell have you been, mister?"

"Went for a walk," I shrugged.

She rounded on me. "A walk? And you thought the dogs and the chooks would just feed themselves, did you? Hop to it - it's almost dark!"

"You could've gotten Lucas to do it," I sulked, taking the dog roll out of the bottom drawer of the fridge.

"Lucas has been working all day," she snapped at me.

"Whereas I've just been batting my friggin' eyelashes and looking ornamental?" I enquired, angrily hacking off a couple of chunks.

She held the vegetable peeler up underneath my nose. "Don't you talk to me like that, my boy!"

I pushed it aside. "Alright, alright! I'm doing it, aren't I? Jesus god, I'm doing it!"

Am I doing the other thing, though? I asked myself, out in the cool dusk, hosing out the dogs' bowls. Am I? Have I tried enough risky shit for today, or should I take what chances I can get, when I can get them?

I knew what my answer was gonna be before dinner was through. Once his plate was clear, Lucas pushed back his chair and asked Dad for the key to the gun safe.

"Me 'n' some of those guys, we thought we'd go spotlighting down on the south flat - it's all clear of stock now."

Dad handed it over. "Check it with Warren first. Remember, he's your employer. Anything goes wrong, it's on him."

"Already did," Lucas assured him, sauntering away.

Yes! I thought, something leaping in my chest. Yes! That's you out of the way, for hours and hours and hours. But will Tahi go out with you, or will he stay...for me? Only one way to find out...

I cleared the table without being asked, dried the dishes without being reminded, getting back into the good books.

Hanging the tea-towel back up, I said, "Mum, can I go up to the shearer's quarters? They have a playstation."

"But they've gone out spotlighting," she countered.

"Nah, not all of them," I assured her.

She squinted at me. "What makes you think they're going to want you up there, hanging about like a lost dog?"

"They said I could," I insisted, "they invited me! Mum! C'mon...they have a playstation!" Doing my best adolescent whining.

She shook her head and laughed. "Okay. But don't outstay your welcome, and don't, don't, let them feed you anything stronger than beer. I really mean that, Isaac."

I raised my hands in surrender. "Sure, sure, okay. I'll behave. I might just take a shower, before I head up there."

"Good idea," her voice wafted after me down the hall, "you pretty much stink, right now."

I felt some definite butterflies in my gut when I knocked on the door of the shearer's quarters, but they flew away the moment Tahi opened the door, leaned against the frame, and ran his eyes over me as his face slowly split into a smile. My pulse spiked that he was so obviously pleased to see me. Well, of course he was pleased. Me showing up meant he was gonna get off again.

Then I noticed he was still part-way through his dinner...he had a bacon sandwich grasped in one hand. My eyes practically rolled back in my head.

Holy shit, I thought, the only way you could possibly make this man any more irresistible would be to give him a bacon sandwich to hold, and here he is. Completely fucking perfect. I'd swallow it all, and then start on the fingers, and then...It seemed like he read my mind, because he slowly brought up his hand, twisted his wrist, held it out in front of my mouth. It looked pretty damn amazing - two fat slabs of white bread, turning translucent toward the centre where the butter had melted on contact with the shaggy ruffled dark pink strips of meat.

"Open up," he breathed.

I did, and he pushed a corner in for me to bite off, winking, saying, "I'll just grab my swannie - be right with you," turning away to leave me drooling on the doorstep.

I heard him, muffled, telling someone indoors, "Me an' the nipper might go see if we can catch up to those other tossers, alright? Ka kite, bro." He reappeared, shrugging into his Swanndri, jerking his head at me as he walked past, saying, "C'mon."

We got in his ute, and he reached over toward me, the very last bite of sandwich held between thumb and forefinger. I saw the flash of white teeth...another one of those grins, even though I couldn't catch much other detail of his face in the low light. "Saved this for ya - thought that mouth of yours deserved a reward."

I laughed and let him feed it to me, enjoying everything about the experience. As we rolled down the gravel driveway, he said, "Well, you're the one who knows your way around. Where can we head that's good and private, where those other guys most definitely aren't?"

"They went to the south flat," I told him. "So we should go the other way - turn left."

As he drove, I tried to think of something, somewhere. Obviously there was a pretty low risk of running into random people out prowling, given we were on the middle of a farm in the middle of nowhere, but still...in some sense, the best way to not be seen was to head into the bush like earlier, except it'd be so dark right now under the canopy that you literally wouldn't be able to see a hand held up in front of your face. Then I had a brainwave, and directed him off the road, through a gate and up a shallow incline.

"There's a little hollow behind that stand of macrocarpas," I told him, as we lurched across the paddock. There were also a couple of concrete water-tanks and an old broken-down pump inside a crumbling lean-to, so we'd be sheltered on three sides.

He nursed the ute up the last bit of slope and over the tiny crest, tucking it in behind the arc of trees, killing the lights, turning off the engine, leaving the key in the ignition.

As we got out our respective doors, I heard him say, "This is a nice place."

I'd never particularly thought about it before...little hollows are mostly just a pain in the arse when you're trying to move a mob of sheep.

"C'mere," he told me, and I padded over to stand next to his blurred outline, as he sat on the ute's lowered tailgate, staring toward the next slightly higher ridge, to the northeast. There was a band of cloud lying across the horizon, but above it the sky was clear, and there was a vague glow to the cloud's upper edge. The moon was rising behind, I realised - it'd probably be lighter in half an hour's time than now. It was nice. It was really nice. I was...kinda nervous about this whole thing...I could feel my heartbeat throbbing up in my throat, but all the same I knew I didn't want to be anywhere except here.

Tahi reached out a hand and unzipped my hoodie, pushed it back off my shoulders, dropped it to one side on the ute's deck. He didn't say anything, so I didn't either. Instead, he took hold of my waist and manoeuvred me so I was standing in front of him, facing away. I felt his hands settle on my back, stilled for a moment, each side of my spine, warm in contrast to the evening air. Then he started to massage, walking his fingers up and down my backbone, digging in with thumbs under my shoulder-blades, gripping and rolling my trapezius muscles. Very quickly, I had way too much going on, lots of disjointed thoughts ricocheting around...oh my god, he's touching me, aaaaagh so good, he's a pro at this...shit, that hurts right there...oh fuck...touching mee...

I leaned into him, melting under his kneading fingers, picturing his own back in my mind, how amazing it was to watch him at work, thinking too about this labour I'd been doing for only three days, that'd made me all inflamed and tender, while he was hefting around wooly carcasses that weighed about the same as a bag of concrete day in, day out, and it was all nothing to him...easy. At least, he made it look easy, he was so competent, so fluid and efficient with his movements. I wondered if the sheep felt his magic the same as I did when they got up close...the assurance hanging about him like an aura, and that's why they went all passive and slack, just like I had.

Mostly had. There was one part of me that was a very long way from being passive or slack. He hadn't tried to explore anywhere near there, and I instinctively knew he wouldn't. I didn't mind - I was so keyed up at that point that there was a major risk I'd embarrass myself if he so much as grazed it. Even thinking that thought caused my balls to draw up, my dick to strain like it was trying to burst out of itself. I breathed, slow and steady, focusing on the knots his thumbs were working in my lumbar curve.

He spoke, finally. "So, you came back."

I nodded, swallowed...it made a kind of squinching sound in the stillness of the evening. "Uh-huh."

"Guess that means you decided you did want more?"

I just nodded again, feeling that throbbing in my throat quite distinctly now.

He leaned forward a little, and I felt his breath against the back of my neck. "And what it is that you're wanting?" he prompted, very softly.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't.

"You gone all shy on me?" he teased, running a fingernail up my spine, all the way to my neck, "You didn't seem so shy a coupla hours ago. Least, not once I got you started. Though you were a bit quiet at the beginning, now that I think of it, eh?"

I stayed silent, motionless, as the finger traced down again, all the way, until it dipped slowly, purposefully, below the waistband of my jeans, lingering for a few seconds, before he removed it and said;

"Fact is, I'd like to fuck you, but only if you're sure you're good with it. Otherwise, I'd definitely take another session with that mouth of yours, because that was also...a fine, fine thing." Hands on my hips now, he turned me around to face him again, raising my chin until I was looking at him. "So...whaddaya say? What'll it be? You gonna let me fuck you?"

I got a huge surge of adrenaline through my body, terror and euphoria both spiking - it was like that moment the year before, when I'd been standing on the platform above the Kawarau Gorge, ankles bound together, attached to a bungee cord - the sudden sense of...shit just got real. I'd been hellishly scared looking down, but I hadn't regretted jumping, not even while I was still falling. I didn't think I'd regret this either, so I told him yes.

He treated me to another ones of those smiles. "Okay," he murmured, "okay...now how 'bout you lose those jeans?"

My heart hammered even more insistently at the base of my throat as I bent down to undo my boots, and I felt lightheaded when I came upright again to toe them off. He gestured at me, a rolling motion of his hands...continue, continue...

I took a big gulping breath and pushed down my jeans. I'd decided to go commando too after my shower, for the secret thrill of it, and now it wasn't secret anymore. I covered myself with my hands.

He snorted. "Hey, what's that all about? Lemme look! I think I can prolly handle it..."

I didn't know why I didn't want him to see, given that he had to know I was hard, that I'd been that way, painfully so, since he'd forced that first chunk of bacon sandwich past my lips.

The moon broke free of the cloud and washed everything with a milky light, and I saw that he was pouting playfully at me. "Bro, c'mon! I mean, I showed you mine..."

That made me laugh, and suddenly everything was okay - the obstruction in my throat dissipated, and I took my hands away from my crotch, flung my arms wide, as if to say, 'ta-da!'

His eyes ran over me briefly, then back to my face. "See?" he joked. "I didn't faint!"

I twirled around on the spot like some fucking ballet dancer, and laughed some more, and some more. I couldn't stop. I was capering about barefooted in the dew, in the middle of a paddock, in the half-dark, wearing only a t-shirt and a hard-on, and I was about to give myself up in pretty much the most intimate way possible to someone I barely knew. It was utterly insane, and I absolutely didn't care...I'd never felt more alive.

He slipped down off the ute's tailgate, pulling off his swanndri as he did, and beckoned me over, stood behind me, his body flush with mine and radiating heat. He wrapped me up, forearms across my front, trapping my arms by my sides, and began to flex his hips back and forth against my butt. I got that liquid sensation through my muscles that I'd felt earlier, the same wooziness in my head, and just let myself go to bathe in it.

Before long, he broke the spell, his upper arm keeping me clamped while the lower one reached briefly between our bodies, and then his fly was undone again - I could feel the cold teeth of his out-turned zipper making a raspy track across each of my cheeks, and the compelling, urgent heat of his sturdy erection nestled between them, now catching, tugging on my skin as he started up his frotting once more. It was sensational. I let my head loll back against his shoulder as I shifted my hips side-to-side and ground back, seeking more contact.

"You like that, eh?" he growled gently, just above my ear.

I tried to say, 'Uh-huh,' but it got mangled on the way out, and just ended up as 'uhhhhh...' a long breathy moan.

He chuckled softly, and squeezed with his arms. "You done this before, bro?"

"Nuh-uh," I whispered, still moving in time with his slow hypnotic rhythm.

"You play with yourself at all? Toys, anything like that?"

I shook my head vigorously. How could I have? I lived in a house that had one bathroom and zero lockable doors, and I shared a bedroom with my brother. Anything you couldn't do quickly in the shower, or subtly under the sheets once Lucas was snoring - you couldn't do at all.

"Alright," he breathed, "we'll take it nice and easy, then. Nice and easy. Plenty of time, after all."

He released me to fold up his swanndri, laying my hoodie over it, making a sort of pillow on the ute's deck, then he shuffled me around until he had me arranged how he wanted, standing spread-legged and bent forward horizontal from the hips, my t-shirt pushed up around my armpits, my head laid on my folded arms, which were resting on the pile of clothing. I felt incredibly vulnerable, on display like that, knowing he was standing behind me, looking...planning. It was scary, but definitely a good kind of scary. I was still hard as a railway spike.

He patted me on an arse-cheek. "Wait there, don't move," walking around to the front of the ute, opening the door to the cabin. He had a pot of something in his hand which he set down by my shoulder when he returned. It was obviously some kind of lube, because a few seconds later, I felt the tips of his fingers fan out on my cheeks, spreading me, as his thumbs gently massaged something around my hole. It was sensation overload...I bit my lip, closed my eyes, and panted.

Then he slowly, smoothly, pushed one in, and I almost came on the spot. He paused for a bit, then withdrew, just as slow, until he'd exited me completely. Then he did it again. And again. And again. Although the physical feeling of having something foreign wedged inside me was...mostly just bizarre, I was madly in love with the idea of it. He's inside me, I kept telling myself, he's inside me. Actually inside me, ohhh god...

He leaned all the way forward over me, thumb firmly plugged in, to whisper in my ear, "Shit, that feels good. I am so looking forward to this. You taking this okay?"

I nodded, adding some vague noise of assent, and he peeled himself off me, saying, "Alright, let's move it up a notch."

It was more of a step-change than a notch when he switched from the thumb to two fingers - they didn't just glide, he had to apply genuine pressure to break through the ring, and I felt a twinge that made my breath catch, a definite dull throb in its wake. But so far from putting me off, it sent the anticipation and euphoria I was already feeling soaring into some out-of-control spiral of craving. I was tripping plenty already, but I just. wanted. more.

Slowly, slowly, he drew both fingers out again, and reached forward to fumble with the pot he'd put down beside me. I opened my eyes and saw that it was a tub of the grease he used for cleaning and lubricating his combs and blades. For some reason, the idea struck me as utterly hilarious. I tried not to laugh as he began working more of the stuff in and around my hole, but like always, holding it in made things worse, and I ended up consumed with giggling.

"Wassup?" Tahi asked me, as I tailed off. "I never heard of anybody being ticklish back here."

That got me going all over again, and he leant forward onto me, like he had before, to speak in my ear, but closer this time, stilling my shudders with his weight as I felt his dick lodge itself along the valley of my crack, thrumming with presence, with promise.

"You're freaking out a little bit, aren't you?" he breathed. "Keep it together here, e tama. It's the first time, so yeah...it probably is gonna hurt some at the beginning, but it'll sort itself out real quick, so just...don't panic, alright?"

Of course, I did panic. I actually bleated, when his head finally butted through my entrance - I heard myself, and it was a total 'oh god please help me' noise. The pain was so sudden and intense that my dick deflated to nothing, my balls ran and hid somewhere up behind my lungs, which also mostly stopped functioning, and all I could think was that there was no 'probably' about this, and that 'hurt' was kind of an inadequate word for what I was currently experiencing...