That Bacon Sandwich Smile

Tahi's voice broke through the panic-haze. "Zac," he was hissing, "Zac!"

It was the first time he'd used my name.

"Hey, c'mon, now," he was saying. "You needa relax."

Relax? I thought, even my breathing laboured and effortful. Who relaxes when they're literally being stabbed in the guts?

He laid a warm palm on my tailbone. "Relax," he urged, "let go back here - you're cramping up on me something fierce."

Oh. Right. That. Relax that. Instead of trying to escape the pain, I turned my thoughts toward it. Let go, he said...I focused and tried it, and almost immediately the tentacles of agony that'd been strangling my innards slackened their hold.

"That's it," he murmured, "that's it, well done," then he nudged himself a little further forward and I gurgled in frustration as everything slammed shut all over again.

"Relax," he soothed me, again. "C'mon, you know you can do it."

I could, and I did, and he inched in some more, and some more, and some more, just talking to me quietly all the while. It seemed like it took a long time before he stilled and started drawing little circles on the skin of my hips with his fingers.

"You got it all now, you got it all," he told me. "How 'bout that? How's that feel?"

It felt...invasive, it felt disorienting, it felt absolutely massive...which confused me, because I'd been up close and very personal with it only a couple of hours before, and hadn't thought it was anything particularly freakish.

I was still trying to make sense of this conundrum as he backed up, slow and deliberate. I handled that, but when he switched to boring in on me again everything howled in protest, boiling and churning in a fruitless attempt to expel him.

I groaned a very 'I'm feeling sorry for myself' groan.

"C'mon," he chided, as he bottomed out and started once more on his leisurely withdrawal, "you wanted it, I know you did - and I think you still do."

He was right, I realised. I did still want it, with my mind and my self and even my soul if I had such a thing, and my body was just going to have to suck it up and deal. As he came forward again, I gritted my teeth and drove myself back onto him.

It didn't hurt. Like, barely at all. I could hardly believe it, but it wasn't a fluke - it was the same as I met his next stroke, only better, and the next was better again. He didn't feel too big now. He felt just right...exactly right. He fitted - we fitted - snugly, perfectly, precisely. I began to have this sense of a party starting up, just getting going, somewhere inside me, as I heard Tahi say;

"Yeah you got it sorted now, haven't ya?" sounding almost like he was purring. "Didn't take you long, did it, bub?"

We settled into a sort of syncopated rhythm, him holding me captive as he pulled back teasingly slow, then freeing me so I could impale myself on him as he snapped forward, making the stroke fast and sharp. It went on and on and on, and oh jesus it was sublime. I felt almost like I was moving into some sort of altered consciousness, where everything that was real, everything that counted, was taking place in super-concentrated fashion at this conjoined focal point, and any other stuff...out there...meh.

I was aware in some removed way, of layers of noise...a morepork, moreporking away on the next ridge, Tahi grunting and swearing in and around his thrusts, myself making random strangled squeaks when he prodded at something in there that set off a little shower of sparks all through my body. I could hear it, all of it, but it was like it was miles away. I knew that the night had gotten cold, but it wasn't affecting me, it was just a disconnected fact floating around. I could also tell I was hard again, but even that seemed irrelevant somehow. All that mattered was this urgent driving push and pull, this ever accelerating tempo, escalating faster and faster toward some unseen finish line...

I may not have seen it, but by god I felt it, when he reached that line. He got harder - a lot harder - and thicker, he shoved wildly and desperately and managed to introduce himself to a part of my passage he hadn't previously met, and it all got kinda uncomfortable again, but at the same time it felt so amazing that I couldn't even handle it. Couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't maintain my footing. I could only formlessly feel...and want.

After a few seconds, Tahi's hands released their death-grip on my hips and he sort of drooped forward, his forehead coming to rest between my shoulder-blades. "Jesus," he wheezed. "Fu-u-uck..."

His forehead was hot, and slick with sweat against my skin, and his panting breaths were a warm fog spreading down my spine, and I started to become aware that I was a bit cold. I struggled upright as he peeled himself off and out of me, pulling my t-shirt back down, blindly diving into my hoodie, lapping it over my chest and holding it in place with crossed arms, tucking in on myself as the shivering overtook me completely. Fuck, now I was really cold...my teeth were chattering audibly as I stumbled into my jeans, and Tahi noticed.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm - hh - fine," I managed to force out.

He stepped over, taking my face in a hand, leaning in close to peer at me. "Seriously, e hoa. Was that a bit much for you? Are you alright?"

"Jussst - c-cold," I juddered.

The concern cleared momentarily from his expression, then returned. "Ahh, crap." He lifted - he fucking lifted me - up to sit on the ute's deck and quickly stuffed my feet back into my boots, then he pulled me down again and walked me around the front, pressing my upper body down onto the ute's bonnet.

"There, get a bit of that," he murmured.

Mmmmm...it was nice. Real nice. Like a big hot water bottle. There was even some residual heat still leaking out through the radiator to toast my thighs. Then Tahi sealed himself to me again, draping himself everywhere, warming me from behind.

"I should've bent you over here instead, shouldn't I?" He ground in closer with his groin, and husked into my ear, "Yeah, and, I would bend you over here, if I thought I had any juice at all left in me. And you'd let me, wouldn't you?"

It was another question-that-wasn't-a-question. Yes. Yes, I would. Even though the backs of my legs were sore from being folded over so long, and my ring was raw from those countless passes of his dick, and my innards felt disordered by all the poking and stabbing they'd endured, and my balls were aching from this day of endless arousal, yes, I would totally have let him do it again. And again. And again. I knew without a sliver of doubt that I'd arrived at my calling, I had found my thing, and that certainty warmed me from the inside...

He stood up and away when I stopped shuddering, and I heard him light a cigarette. I stayed how I was, still craving the engine's warmth, and he absentmindedly rubbed my back with the heel of his free hand until the cigarette was done. Then he swatted my arse.

"Alright. Up now, Nipper. Let's get you back home so you can wank yourself dry before lights-out, eh?"

I kept my face turned away as I scurried around to the passenger door and clambered in. Whether he was serious, or taking the piss, that felt...uncomfortably prophetic. Seeing as Lucas was basically guaranteed to be out for at least another two hours, 'wank myself dry' was in fact exactly what I was planning to do - get myself off as many times as possible, tonight, while the echoes of what we'd just done still lingered in my nerve endings...but it was definitely weird hearing it laid out in the open like that.

I snuck a look at him, briefly meeting his eyes when I climbed back in for a second time after shutting the paddock's gate, to check whether he might be laughing at me. He wasn't. It was just that glowing smile, same as ever. I leaned my head against the glass and tried to seal the memory inside of my eyelids, because I knew that though the feeling of him on me, and in me, would fade in a day or two, I could be dining out for a long, long time on the memory of that bacon sandwich smile.