by LoverFarAway
Why do all the men in all stories have to be 6 foot plus with Adonis type bodies? The Average height of men is Around 5" 9 and we are of average build so get it right and make the story closer to the truth, this is not just for you but all other writers out there as well...
Loved it, well done. Good erotic build up based on a connection between the two of them.
The story itself was amazing, good build up, the characters had a real connection that pulls you in, and makes you invested. There's real reasons why they ended up together, it wasn't just hi I'm new let's bone.
My only gripe is the grammer may need some fine tuning..
All in all great job, keep it up!
Thanks for a wonderful story. You have great pacing and rhythm for story progression. You allow for the reader to be in the moment with your charachters. You have a great talent and I hope you write more in the future. I have one thing for you to consider. After each bath scene her and his, you did not tell the reader how they came out dressed. Was she in a towel, a robe, or a tank and shorts? What she was wearing would have added to the dynamic of them sitting on couch legs touching. And what about him, he bathes and then smells eggs and bacon. Well as a guy I go running for bacon and could have cared less what I had on..lol...Could have added just a touch more depth to an already amazing story. Keep writing you have a great gift.
Taz
One of the best. There are a few spelling/grammer errors, but from a development standpoint. Flawless.
Good story build up. Erotic. There are some grammar errors, but the story makes up for it.
Please give up a series.
That was a great story Hope it is a true story. My wife loved the story she is a nude model and has been for over 30 years she is over 60 now and still gets calls to model
In my youth I was a photographer of exotic dancers in a large city. This is the fantasy that could have been but never was. Thanks for bringing back a treasured memory of her.
DM
I enjoyed your story the naked girl from the Internet very much it was well-written and it was erotic without anyone getting hurt or taken advantage of. Please write more stories like this! I know they take a lot of time but they are definitely appreciated.
It was just right...just slow enough to savor...just fast enough to follow...just sensual enough to be intoxicating!
That was literally the best thing I've ever read on this site. As a hobbyist photographer myself, it was... There aren't adequate words to describe what you created here. I'll just settle for 'perfect.' Excellent pacing, beautiful interactions, succulent word choice. Sexy as hell and leaves the reader guilt-free and hopeful. Not to mention, camera porn, mm.
I have to say, reading this story for me was definitely time well spent, from the slow build-up, to the emotional bond the characters shared, it is a very well written story. The only critisism I can think of is the characters language, even in the throes of passion you kept the dialogue in a very rigid and formal structure. Some use of contractions in those situations would have felt more natural.
Your story, (hopefully not fiction) was very tantalizingly written. Letting the situation evolve and evoke anticipation and wunderlust in the reader, one could imagine being in the role of either person and experiencing the excitement, sense of emotion and eventual deep feelings expressed. Rare that a story written about erotic, emotional pleasures be so enticing. You did a great job of Not getting pornographic but remained sensual, and still excited where the story required it. If this was about a real relationship Thank You for sharing. I hope you have a part 2 to share.
A Really good story
Was a story you could relate to. People, work, situations etc. were very real. The trust of the girl was a little too unrealistic in this society we live in unless a small town. But overall nicely done.
Caused my putter to stand up.
Very nice story, well written and sexy. I like the fact that you managed to build porn into a story as a positive, Thanks for writing.
Unusual for this site. Not really porn , but a sexy, romantic story and kind of refreshing. My wife and I both enjoyed it , especially as I am an artist specializing in erotic art. I have also developed skill in massage that comes in handy relaxing some of my models and both afford us some sensual situations. You have enough talent as a descriptive writer to gain quite a following. BARE469
I loved your story, I thought it well written and completely plausible. I particularly like writing that is believable, some are so far fetched that I quickly lose interest, Thanks for your great work, I'll look forward to reading more.
You did a good job, but missed a few things. You need to read it backwards at least once. It will let you see mistakes your mind just glides over, "come on we wrote this"
and pass on
The story is very sexual, but at the same time, very sweet. Love is more than just having sex, and that is what you have written about. Thank you for a very compelling and loving story. Just, thanks.
great story but you need an editor before you post. the pronoun usage was extremely confusing, especially towards the end. also, i had to read some sentences 3 or 4 times before i understood the intention.
Well done. Nice build-up. Reading your work backwards, sentence by sentence, is a good suggestion.