All Comments on 'That Night in Cartagena'

Another great story!

5

Delighted that you're back. We've been sorely in need of quality authors.

Possibly my favourite among your newer stories.

Really well done. The ending was not as strong as the rest of the story, but that's a common theme around here it seems. 5* overall!

A very thoroughly assembled story. The technical aspects of the military episodes must come from experience, but it all works well. I enjoyed it and my modest military experience tells me that much of the info was authentic. The personal parts of the story were well fitted into the overall plot and it didn't seem like it was (as often found here): the story is almost over, let's have the sex scene. 5*

Good one. Thank you

Great story, fast paced and enough detail. The ending was a little flat but can understand why. 5⛤

Engrossing read. You are amazing. Thank you.

Really good story! 5 stars. But not sure where you got your facts?

Maduro succeeded Chavez, not Perez (who was a dictator in Argentina, WAY WAY WAY before)

The Venezuelan security agency is called BolivARIAN National Guard (Bolivia is a separate country, though both are indeed named after same person, Bolivar).

Doesn't lower my 5 star rating, but would recommend you edit and fix the errors - they throw off anyone who knows anything about the country at all.

I am a big fan of adventure stories like those of Lee Childs and James Patterson. I felt right at home in this story. How Ronde managed to pack so much into this short story with both adventure and Romance amazed me. This story is now a part of my favourites for future rereading. If you miss it, you've missed out of a very good read.

The Hoary Cleric

Ronde, I liked this one alot. Again, characters were rich & believable, dialogue natural & believable. Those two items seem to be very strong suits for you. ...And again Bravo. Very well done.

About the time I think I've caught up w/ your latest, your submissions page show more I hadn't seen - including some historic stories which I didn't like. I see more historic stories & will read them also. If they turn out to be excellent, I won't be surprised.

-Dreaded Anonymous

Very engrossing and save a few minor distractions, one incredible story!

You researched the Venezuelan situation well, especially with how Maduro may choose to silence opposition. You kept things on edge with Andrés scoping out the cartel compound and you sculpted Renata, María and Felicia to be tough enough to meet their challenges; even Renata's "husband" reacted according to the role he had, and you distanced him from her, which is precisely what has happened before.

One glaring miss was the Colombian river you named, which should have been the Táchira, the one separating Venezuela from Colombia--and in fact, it is the same name of that Venezuelan state they would have crossed into Colombia from. Also, it would have been "San Cristóbal," as one omits an h from any name in English when transferring it to Spanish.

The only real shortcoming I would say would have been how Andrés would have suddenly wanted to include Felicia and María and have a "family" when the early part of the story posited him to want to be a loner. Now, no way Andrés would NOT have fallen to a Venezuelan woman's beauty/charms, as that's their reputation (a Colombian woman's too), but you needed to flesh out the daughter's connection more too. Can't say how much longer the story would have needed to be, but I believe that would have necessitated 2 more Lit pages to credibly close that gap.

Despite the final paragraph, I feel confident saying this merits a 5. Largely well-done story that captures the reader and invests one in the ending.

In over 100 stories I have read of yours, I have come to admire your storycraft. Your plots are seamless and diverse. No matter the theme, you nail it with both believability and awilling suspension of disbelief in equal good measure. You are more than calable of earning a living

as a writer and it is my fervent hope that you do. You would be well employed writing script scenarios for TV or movies. Or teaching the craft of writing in academe. Your depiction of the loner is as cogent as Jack Reacher with a human face. thank you.