by Tx Tall Tales
That story was simply amazing!!!!
You told the story so perfectly that I had no problem envisioning any part.
Love how the actual story was the primal focus as it truly captivated me, the inimate moments did as well- never seeming out of place or rushed just to be there.
I absolutely enjoyed every word of this story! Keep writing :)
One of, if not the best I've read on the site.
Not really certain how to describe it aside from captivating. I sat down with a cup of tea and worked up a sore neck, and an immense urge for the toilet over the two hours it took to finish all 15 pages. Haven't felt time fly by as such in quite some time.
Well done.
Well written, paints a vivid picture for the reader. Keep writing great stories and I'll keep reading them.
I've enjoyed all of your stories, but this one was especially wonderful. Thank you.
What a tender story. Really touched my heart. Just wanted to thank you for the gift of your story. JWC
I already knew you were an awesome writer who writes beautiful (inside and outside) characters, but I still wasn't ready for this. I'm often "that guy" who skips past longish nonsexual descriptions in erotica, but I loved reading about the house restoration or dinners here as much as I loved the sexual parts.
Two critiques from me: 1. the last chapter felt a bit forced and abrupt in its change of tone, from a romance-drama to something like horror, especially given that 2. the rest of the story was filled with saccharine; this was a good thing for the most part, good human beings being good human beings feels nice to read, but even given that, the suspension-of-disbelief is stretched when that extends to every single person including Andrew (that dialogue at chap13's end was painful to read.)
It's definitely a 5-star read despite all these minor issues though, and I'm happy I still have a few more stories of yours to read!
This one I Loved. One of the best I've read in a while.
Easily ten stars.
i have read a lot of stories, this was one of the best I've read in years. The only thing that could have made it better was more sex.
I think the content and story line are fantastic.
I would love to see this redone, add another 15 chapters and more sex.
You are a very talented writer. This could qualify as a romance novel if it was longer.
Thank you for sharing your talents with us
How are you not a professional writer this BOOK was phenomenal. Unbelievable. Couldn't stop reading this story. Excellent work.
Keep on writing and turning your hand to different genres. You just hit one home run after another. This is the first EH story I have ever bothered with. Now I will have try some others to see if there are any other gems hidden in there.
Wow. If ever a story needed to be made into a book this is it. Superb paranormal storytelling at it's very best. I only wish more had been done to explain what the evil was and why it was haunting the house.
Being an undiagnosed ADHD child of the 70's ;-) even now i struggle with distraction reading some stories, but i must say i read this from start to finish. Well written and and a great story idea, so thank you very much for giving me a great read and I'll be looking forward to reading other stories you have written.
Regards
Mr Big from Australia
Loved the story. Loved the ending. Would like to have found out where Elizabeth was and who the malevolent ones were...
I loved this story. It reminded me a bit of Anne Rice's, "The Witching Hour". The characters were developed so well that I felt like I knew them and miss them now that the story is over. Well written as anything Anne Rice or anyone else! Thank you for this gift of a story!!!! Jessica
Loved reading this, Mary and Bev are great characters and you bring them all to life and the house, your descriptions are vivid and succinct, a great read.
This was an awesome story, from the beginning to the end. It was the first of your stories I read, but I'm pretty sure it's not the last. Keep up the good work.
This was a fantastic story. I couldn't put it down. A real page turner. Please publish it its so worth it.
If you published this you would make a killing, I'm not a fan of haunted stuff but this changed that and your writing is wonderful.
Loved this story and so wish something similar could be brought here. Thank You
Amazing & Awesome, no other words for it ๐
Thank you so much
Very well done. enjoyed every page. Found myself wondering how you'd bring it to a close. Loved this story
If you ever published this I would buy it just to add to my collection. This is one of my favorite stories I've ever read on here
Easily one of the best stories on the entire site! I love finding these rare gems...
It was beautiful. Much more than just erotica it was like a mini romance novel i just want to read more and more its wonderful. You are my new favorite author
i have read a several of your posts and I always enjoy the humanity you bring into the tales, you have a gift. Thanks for sharing it.
In a lifetime of reading, I have only felt this way about a authors work very very few times. I can honestly say your stories play my emotions as if I were there in the story. My thanks to you for this gift you share with me the reader, thank you please keep it up an let me know if there is more you can share with those of us who only wish for the talent to move the heartstrings you seem to be able to captured in words.
Darrell Dillon
wht1fethr@gmail.com
Feel free to honer me with a contact or not thanks so much.
As a Published author, I really liked this story. Yes it does have a few short comings, but as a short story It was outstanding. Very Good job.
I thought this was a very good storey. Your character development was brief and strong. The house / property plot and writing were very good. The only criticism I have is that the sexual scenes with Mary could have had a much more erotic build up. She was sucking him off in his sleep before he even knew what was going on. Then she would service him two or three times like he was taking a piss.
Just taking a piss mate,
Good Story - thank you
By far one of my favorite stories! And I mean that as in all time favorites that I've ever read!
This came close to being a great story.
Just out of curiosity, what was his occupation? when did he actually go to work? how did he have sooooooo much time and money to work on The House?
The whole scene at the end in which Bev dies was so abbreviated and lacking in specificity, that it was almost impossible to follow what was happening. And then to immediately switch to a time at an unspecified future point, while overlapping the names just added to the confusion. I have re-read the wrap-up, 3 times and am still not certain what the "new" role is for Bev, or just how much of a presence Mary plays in the lives of the growing family.
It's not really "horror". I feel it would have fit better in non-human. I was really expecting more from the malvolent spirit. I wish the last battle had been better written. Other than that it was amazing
It's not really "horror". I feel it would have fit better in non-human. I was really expecting more from the malvolent spirit. I wish the last battle had been better written. Other than that it was amazing
This story is well worth the Hall of Fame placement. I didn't pause in the reading, and it felt very vivid. This little gem is a very good story; with just a little editing it would be publishing quality, I think.
*Possible spoilers from hereon*
I was debating about the genre, but when I got to the last couple pages... I think the genre fits. It's a real erotic love story, the character and story development was great, and when you finally put in those scenes with the malicious presence(s) after the slow buildup, it definitely had me going. I don't think I've ever felt that specific kind of terror quite so clearly with any other story; I was seriously reciting incantations in my mind just to keep myself centered and continue reading straight. Way to make up for the final encounter though with the crazies gone and Mary and Bev still being with them, even if they were both spectres (HUGE sigh of relief). And with the two kids. Sucks for Karen that she couldn't really sense them, but it sounds like she was getting somewhere with them nonetheless, despite her own attempts to shut them out, or at least Mary.
People have pointed out great points and flaws already, but I think I'll do the same, so I can also add some of my own that I don't think were mentioned.
The restoration subplot was quite a nice touch. It did some good foiling for a lot of the characters, especially the MC, and "breathed a bit of life" into the story. Although I haven't done restoration or much construction myself, I talk to a couple people who have, and my grandfather was very much into do-it-yourself building, so I know how that one rolls. Adding a second story to an 800 square foot single story house is one thing, but redoing an entire manor interior is another entirely. You either have done some serious work yourself, or you did your research. Same with the trees and description of the vegetation on the property. Well done.
I feel like I want to complain about the relationship between Jack and Karen, but I keep thinking about all the positives and coming up with counters to my nitpicks, so I'll drop it and still give it a thumbs-up. The love was sweet, and the making was juicy without being messy and overblown.
Lot of people seemed to be very keen on seeing the house. I could see Marge and her husband's interest, considering their own renovating, and I suppose the Mayor (at least I think it was) could also be interested in the property considering its history, but for a couple other characters a little explaining would have helped fill in the not-so-necessary holes.
Speaking of holes - the malevolent presence. Was it a single powerful being? I'm assuming that's the case considering what it said, but with some of the things that happened it sounded more like there were multiple beings assaulting Karen and Jack in the end, since it was doing all of that AND fighting with Mary and, in the end, Bev. Jack screamed in plural rather than singular ("you bastards!") There was also much more emphasis on "them" being gone in the epilogue, rather than "it." Origins would have been nice, but that's not really necessary to explain; I think the flames and the fireplace are nice little leads.
Mary's pretty amazing. What an affectionate spirit, and yet such an ethereal powerhouse while still being essentially human, except without a physical body. And perhaps rather sexually charged. You really brought her to life especially, if you'll pardon the expression. Enjoyed the touch with pumping up the intensity for both Jack and Karen during their lovemaking, too.
Okay, I think I've got a big enough wall of text now. Great story, and I'll have to look through your other ones too. You hooked a new reader with this tale!
Originally this type of story is not why I started reading stories on this Web site, but it is why I continue to do so. When I found this site I was interested in one thing only, but writers like Tall Tx, who write the more involved story's with good character development and good plot line and the essential sex, to be called erotic literature is why I will continue to stay. Keep up writing these great stories.
A great read and a great story. Hopefully your "real" life will allow you to do some new writing.
A fine tale, very well told. I confess I'd hoped Mary would use all the energy she'd acquired from Jack to defeat the malevolence in the house and be able to follow her child, and presumably Don, releasing them both, but the ending was satisfying as it was. I did find it a little truncated after the care put into the rest of the story, my only complaint.
Absolutely horrific! Thank you a lot, 5 stars and straight to favs!
This is not an erotica story, this is the definition of a masterpiece. Detail, emotion, and visual effect was all very apparent yet still personable to the extent that the reader felt at home in the story. Truly one of the best short stories I've read. The writer of "That Old House" could be mistaken for that of a million-copy selling, award winning author. I will definitely be looking forward to more of this author's stories.
This was a very great read,I enjoyed it, even though the endings rush confused me,but It caught my attention between most to all of the story. I am not a big reader but I happened to be browsing porn and stumbled upon this and haven't put it down since...that was last night,so thank you on enticing my interest and curiosity as this will not be my last time glimpsing at another strange yet erotic tale!
I really loved it! I loved the characters. Brilliant really brilliant!
This is an exceptional story by any standard, and doubly exceptional as an example of erotica. Congratulations on a great achievement!
While I love all your stories you out did yourself with this one. It was so hard to stop
reading and I found myself rushing through dinner so I could get back to it.
Many many thanks for this story, best I have read with this theme.
This was, in all honesty, the best story I have ever read on this site. The characters were all so REAL! I genuinely cared about what happened to them and was on the edge of my seat through the final scenes. The lovemaking was also so tenderly written, it was beautiful. I've found my new favourite author. Thank you! PS: now if only I could find my own house with an amorous resident spirit... :-)
That was incredible... I could only read snippets at a time, and hated each time I had to stop... And even a bit saddened that it's done. I'd like for you to write more in this category. Other than a very few minor errors, it is extremely well-written!
Right up there with Poolboy Benefits and Charity Begins Next Store. Which surprised me as I consider Erotic Horror to be an oxymoron. As usual, your characters are people I would want to know, and I don't feel like a sick puppy for enjoying your stories.
This story was recommended to me by Tsotha. It's not a genre I would normally seek out on my own, so I'm glad I was told about it. I absolutely loved it! This is, by far, the best I've read on the site. Thank you for taking the time to write and submit your story. I thoroughly enjoyed it :)
Your stories are brilliant. I love reading most of your stories, most not all. I haven't read them all :)
I've read most of the 4.5 and above rated stories on this site, except those in categories not to my taste , and I can honestly say that this is one of the very best.
Loved the mix of fantasy and reality, the characters and the story. The pacing was perfect and I had a very hard time putting it down.
The only suggestion I would offer is that the ending was a little rushed or abrupt. It would have benefitted from a little more development.
Granted, it was not the hottest or most erotic tale of yours; but such an epic! Gives me a couple goose bumps too, I'll lay my next few frights on your doorstep ;)
This story is AWESOME! I could have kept reading for hours upon hours. Great job, you should consider publishing this if you haven't already.
BEYOND WORDS might have been better if broken into parts so you could've continued it further if you felt the need to otherwise my ranting mean nothing BEYOND WORDS ONCE AGAIN THE BEST STORY IVE READ IN A VERY LONG TIME LOVE IT ALL maybe he was greedy abit he coulda sucked off ghosty couldn't he 3;) likes the whole phantom sucker very hard to turn this was beyond a story it caught everything just right KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WITH US ALL
Although I read a lot I rarely vote or comment. For this tale I'm doing both.
I strongly disagree with the anonymous poster. I truly enjoyed the blend of fiction fantasy and almost fact. The story was weaved in a way that was almost believable. It was complete and didn't leave a bunch of confusing unanswered questions. It might have been nice to know what the malevolent entity was and why it was so strongly attached to the house but that mystery doesn't detract from the story.
It's easy to understand why Mary gave so much and recived comparatively little. She found a way to interact with the living world in a very unusual way. As a woman I can say that although I don't recieve the same pleasure a man does from a blowjob, the pleasure I get from the feeling of power that comes with having a strong man at your mercy is addictive. If you've ever felt that rush it would be easy I understand Mary's actions. From there it's a short jump to how they give her power to interact tangibly.
The only place Anonymus and I agreed at all is on the title. It's a little misleading however it leads to a gem of a story that somehow feels in line with the story itself and how he rebuilt the house. Well done Tx.
I do A LOT of reading and A LOT of writing and even if you add up the best works of both of those categories and multiply them by a thousand, they still won't even come close to your work. You include so much emotion and perspective into your work, especially in this story. I will admit, I was really wary when I saw this story categorized as "Erotic Horror", but I was most pleasantly surprised. I literally was so scared at one point that I didn't want to leave to go to the bathroom (serves me right reading such a story at almost 4:00am). Thank you for showing at least the vast majority of us who read this story that great writing takes time, effort and consideration. Reading your stories is a great use of my weekend!! Simply beautiful.
Just finished reading this story and I gotta say this story was one of the most amazing piece of work I've ever read. The way you portrayed each character was great, kept me interested in all of them. Especially in the end with Bev, that was an amazing plot twist if I've ever seen any haha. But other than man, love this story one of the very best and I actually wish for a sequel just to see how happy their life is afterwards, especially Mary and Bev. 5/5 :D
A woman's perspective: I don't know, I didn't really like it. Here's some advice, if you want it, if not, no worries.
- First of all, why do people talk that much during sex? It should be animalistic, free of excessive commentary.
- Second, rope after rope seemed a bit awkward and uncomfortable. flood would have possibly been better?
-Third, blowjobs are great for guys but not as great for women. It's incredibly sexy but how many blow jobs did Mary give before she got some herself? Give the ladies a little love and let them feel wonderful next time too.
-Fourth, a better title. Really capture the essence of the story. That Old House sounds a bit like a bad country song.
- Finally, it was a little too long. Maybe split it up into chapters to keep the story cohesive? I understand this was a competition entry, but it would have been nice to have some sort of break to the monotony.
Amazing effort though, really creative plot and I loved the idea of the house.
T3, "That Old House" was a mesmerizing work of erotic fiction. I am so jealous of your writing skills and envious of your creativity in creating such a superb original work. With such wonderfully original characters and characterizations.
For those curious about the origins of the horrid ghosts on the third floor, I surmise that the most obvious was the wounded who died when the house was used as a hospital after the Battle of Fredericksburg during the War of Northern Aggression. Father killing son, brother killing brother. People today have little understanding of how virulent the hatred was in mens hearts.
Another possibility, the reverse of how we would do it today (with Air Conditioning) the top floor was too hot in Summer and too cold in Winter. Usually the servants quarters were at the top. But also see Charles Addams. Those hilaristurbing cartoons were based on his childhood when Upper Class families kept their shameful secrets chained in the attic.
I am of the opinion that Jack is of the right age to possibly be Don's grandson, And therefore a grandnephew to Beverly.
Enjoyed every chapter of this short story I look forward 2 reading more of your pieces.
I've been poking about this website for.... well, for far too long.
I've come to regard the overwhelming majority of what I have encountered as pretty crappy.
but this.
this was an enjoyable read.
You wrote this really well. I haven't enjoyed a story so much in a long time.
Really great story. i guess this is your first In Erotic Horror and you have made it to the top of the chart.
Please write more buddy.
TomcatRR
This is one I will read again.
I do have to admit to this kinky desire. After Karen moved in, I really wanted to see Mary going down on her. (eyebrow raised)
Wow. I am impressed. Sir, you tell a good story. Not only is this well told, but your skills are outstanding.
As for the story... A Lotta Fun. The image of a ghost with impeccable oral skills has me wanting my own old house. I had my own Bev, who is sadly gone, a lovely lady. And I have my own Karen, so I am lucky.
I'm glad that the ending didn't have Bev turned into a sex raving addict, and that Karen never got involved with the ghosts. Gives it a unique story all the way. Very nice.
Another wonderful story from a talented writer. I agree with some of the comments about the end, but in my current project I can understand. What you think will be a few pages seem to take over and have to be drawn to a conclusion some how or they could go into a fifty chapter novel and still have unexplored lines like a modern soap opera. I hope mine gets half the reviews your did.
And to those of you that asked, something like this takes many months if your lucky!
Fantastic story! This was one of the best stories on this site I have ever read. Great characters, suspenseful, and well written.
This was one of your best stories ever, and I like many others am sorry I didn't read it for the contest. This is by far one of the best stories I have read on this site and my favorite of yours that I have read. Good Job and keep up the good work.
An absolutely amazing story! I fell in love with all of the characters, and I am not ashamed to admit I got teary when Bev fought the baddies. Thank you for writing something so fantastic!
I loved reading this! I'm not sure why your stories hit me just right, other than that they are great! But I love the character interactions and the fun sexual situations. Please keep writing, as you are GREATLY appreciated!!!
I love your attention to detail, especially about restoring The House. It touched a chord with me, because I have a dream house of my own. I'll probably never own it, but I love it dearly all the same. In a way I got to pretend that your House was mine, which was a treat. Thank you for a wonderful tale.
I'm glad I finally took the time to read all the way through this. I looked at it when I read many of the other Halloween entries, but never quite had the time to commit to 15 pages. (I work at a costume rental shop, so you might guess I'm a bit busy around Halloween!)
I'm only sorry that my 5-star rating didn't contribute to your win, but you obviously did ok without me. :)
I have never made a comment on any story before now. I was spell bound. This was a great story and I hope to read more great stories from you in the future. It left me speechless.
I sincerely hope we go back and explore the house. The other families and what caused the evil. Excellent as always
this although it is supposed to be an erotic story it had me crying on some parts for some reason, this story was amazingly good.
I have always enjoyed your writing, the erotic imagination of the stories and the quality of your work. This one went in a different direction and was difficult to leave when I needed to. I enjoyed it very much.
This is the very best story here! You brought tears to my eyes, the hair on my arms actually stood up when Jack fought Evil, I sighed when he escaped.
Thank You