All Comments on 'That Wedding Night'

A well written story. Thank you.

Well done. Really enjoyed your story. Can't wait to see if it continues. Cheers. Frankie

This is a great story without penetration. Maybe another part about 1 or 2 weeks later about what happens and there is another play. Part 3 is later when it happens, and it keeps going.

beautful

She covers her privates with her feet? How does that work?

Wow, that is a 'hot' one, the description of the feelings & need of both of them. He did a great job of resisting, but her willingness won out !

Different.

Boring, no imiganition, you plan on drawing this story out, when out should Have been wrapped with another page.

So they're sharing a bed and he's constantly trying get comfortable and she thinks he's asleep?I share a room with a guy (military) and I can hear him move from 10ft away.

Sometimes I have to just shake my head sadly at commentors on this site.

One you idiots actually said this was well written. You should be ashamed to admit your ignorance. This was HORRIBLY written. If there was one sentence without an incorrect word use, verb conjugation, or punctuation error, I didn't notice it. That was probably because my mind was reeling from the sheer volume of just plain bad writing.

Please learn English before you subject us to more of your poorly executed writing. Just be nice and stop writing.

Excellent, need more,

Excellent, please extent the story as others have suggested.

You clearly don’t have sibling’s, have never had sex, and are barely coherent with your writing.

Humm left me lying here in bed the glow of my phone, imagining each word.

Thanks to all the readers who took off valuable time to read the story, partially or in full. I truly appreciate it. However, I am truly thankful for individuals like @cageysea9725 who are open about negative feedback. It's all hunky-dory until I myself can't recognise faults within my own work. I don't get other people to proofread and most of the time I don't get around to doing it myself. I am open to criticism, in any fashion, just as long as my errors are pointed out clearly. It is my first publication here anyways, so I hope to improve my writing abilities next time around and bring a more pleasant reading expierence to all.

I guess virgins want to write erotica, too. Pity it doesn't work.

English is not my native language and maybe that is a blessing when reading stories written by "beginners". I really enjoyed the feeling of the story. Thanks and please continue writing.

I think the excessively negative feedback is unwarranted. I will send private feedback with what grammatical mistakes I can see, but I will put here publicly (yes, that is how one spells it) that I enjoyed the story regardless, as did (I assume) the other 45 people(!) who have also favourited the story in the short time since it was released.

I look forward to admiring the Shakespearean eloquence of those who've dismissed this out of hand with totally non-constructive feedback - I will not name any names, but I look forward to cheering from the crowd as you receive your Nobel Prize in Literature next year. To be so comprehensively scathing to others, to tell them they don't even deserve to write, your writing must truly be something to behold.

I believe some of the negative commenters are 'negging' in an attempt to win your attention. If you haven't heard of it, search Google for 'xkcd negging' for an excellent little summary.

Since your poorly executed sarcasm called me out by name, I'll take the opportunity to rebut.

"It's all hunky-dory until I myself can't recognise [sic] faults within my own work." This acknowledges that I was correct to give you the constructive suggesting that you learn English. If you were actually proficient in it, you actually would be able to recognize your own faults.

"I don't get other people to proofread and most of the time I don't get around to doing it myself. It is my first publication here anyways." So your most of the time is actually the only time you had the opportunity, you didn't take it. If it's too much work to write, then don't do it. Again, your argument is reinforcing my position.

"I am open to criticism, in any fashion, just as long as my errors are pointed out clearly." I'm sorry that I didn't want to take the time to do your work for you, or to retype your entire submission but do it correctly. Even if you paid me the going rate for an editor I wouldn't be willing to do more work to make your submission readable than you put into it. You're obviously oblivious to how much work writing is, and definitely are not willing to do it.

This was written so strangely. The way they’re positioned or what’s happening never makes sense. The wording is odd as well… like emancipation? What?

“I can also, to some degree, recognise when feedback is complete nonsense. Some comments will be taken heavily into account and some simply won't (anonymous).”

Yikes. Get off your high horse. You’re not any less anonymous than the rest of us. Everyone is entitled to their privacy.

everyone's a critic for good or bad most often choosing to pick apart that written by those whose english is not their first language.

how do they believe their own writings are totally understood? huh?

they need to come down off their high horse and perhaps need to shut the fuk up!

take a look at their writes as most have a pen that doesn't know where their own ink flows

they lack imagination

they follow the same same cut and paste story telling

tell them to fuk off

my dick got hard i enjoyed reading

the fact you are not english first makes no difference

keep writing fuk what others think or say ... you did good

The feelings expressed in the story were outstanding. I think you're on the right track here. Proofreading would help, and not being reviewed by a high school English teacher, could help your confidence. The story and what it was trying to convey was super. I have 3 post graduate degrees, in the sciences, so my fiction writing is deplorable. Please continue writing, you have something to say and an audience who would like to read it. Mahalo