All Comments on 'The Accident'

Loved it, would have loved a longer ending maybe after Kyle left Sarah turns around and says to Owen "fuck the condoms to hell with the risks I want all of you and feel you cum in me, if I get pregnant at least its with someone who loved me". Then Owen would say back "I would love to make you pregnant and will stand by you whatever the consequences". But you may have been able to make it sound better as I've never been good at English Lit. Hope you do more this first story was a good one.

Per your bio, the hint of truth shines through brightly in this story. It could have happened just that way. An excellent tale that could easily be expanded upon should you choose to do so.

The absolute best first submission I've come across on Lit.

Thank you. I will be watching for more. Soon, I hope.

Beautifully written, well paced,enjoyed it very much thank you. Will Owen get to explore or direct Sarah's sexuality further?

I look forward to more of your work.

This story was great. I would love to see this in a series...even alone was amazing but I'd say it'll be better in a series. Awesome job

Mixed Brit-Yank locale and syntax. A little too fast into the sack for a longer tale — needs more background if it were to be turned into a multi-chapter tale.

So consider this the first effort. It ought to get (*deserves* to get) a hot rating, which is always a good pointer for us pornocrats to read further.

Please plot out a three- or four-chapter story with similar characters and a similar by-chance meeting. Make the locale a little more clear and go with your native syntax. Very much enjoyed the get-her-hot part, though maybe take her bra off instead of pushing it aside. And his shucking his clothes left on all sorts of interfering stuff.

You fan base is holding its breath.

Not of just the story but for a first time submission. Keep up the great writing! Another chapter or two would be nice.

'Come again! sweet love doth now invite

Thy graces that refrain

To do me due delight,

To see, to hear, to touch, to kiss, to die,

With thee again in sweetest sympathy.'

John Dowland, First Book of Songs

Seems fitting.

It's wonderful to see more and more acknowledged female writers here.

I agree with the comments, this is the good start to a short series, but be warned, charters here have a tendency to get away from you.

Sweet characters, nice plot-hook, well paced, both sensual and sensuous ... I whole-heartedly enjoyed it!

Next!

Wow, had no idea this little story would be so well received! I completely agree with the criticisms and will try for a bit more consistency in future. I don't know whether these two will get any more chapters, I hadn't actually thought that far ahead, but thanks so much for the support!

~Ellie

embrace it, and yourself. Very good, especially when the theme has been pre-selected. Writing a story without giving up the outcome before the first two chapters are read is >5!

Very good start.........more to come I hope. :-)

Really enjoyed thing tale. Arousing and well written. Look forward to more from you in the future...

I really loved this! And I really hope we get more story of Sara and Owen!! I love them! I hope you write more!!

Torn between wanting more, and leaving on this happy note. ^_^

Very nice. I hope you post other stories in the near future.

... are quite a good writer, Thanks!

A very nice first story! As a request, in the future could you run your stories past one or more editors or proof readers. You wrote "He circled her naval with his tongue". "Naval" is something that is related to a navy. The word that you want is "navel". Many stories on Literotica are blemished with the use of words which pass a spell checker, but which aren't the right words. Bored vs. board. Vial vs. vile. Cheap vs. cheep. You will find that many of the highest scoring authors on this site use editors - this isn't cheating, it is making use of resources available to you to produce the best possible story for your readers.

I look forward to more stories from you.

To the previous anon, go fuck yourself, this fantastic writer already has the coveted little red H for her first story, and let me tell you all those other writers with editors aren't perfect stories, not even their editors pick up 100% of errors.

@waking_dream, well done! Keep writing please!

Good luck in the contest. Thanks for sharing

This was so refreshingly well written that it inspired my first comment!

I for one, was not thrown by the Brit slang and thought it added to the piece. I recognize that you have it set up for a possible continuation (Owen's private thoughts indicate that there is more to this character and he may be the hook), but don't be afraid to deviate completely with each chapter. I have been hesitant to read stories that have chapters upon chapters because I'm just looking for something well written and provocative to divert my attention before I go to bed.

Every sentence was better than any sentence in 50 Shades.

Thank you.

I really enjoyed this, thank you

Awesome! Just awesome. Hoping that there will be more to this story.

You've weaved a tale that makes one yearn for more. Please do continue. It's awe inspiring.

so can pregnancy, both have a cause and cure...TK U MLJ LV NV

you have to ride it like you find it. TK U MLJ LV NV

Not 100% convinced by the plot line though (would a 22 year virgin really have jumped into bed just coz he carried her up the stairs?)

Owen didn't strike me as that type of a cad and a bounder, to take advantage of her misadventure.

Having said that, it was the stair scene that brought the little touch of truth , looking down on her freckles under her woolen cap. Yes, can see that, absolutely.

You've got to watch the quiet little arty girls, I say.

Well written, literate, funny, nicely paced.

I love this little fantasy. I love that she actually runs into a guy who knows how to control his own urges and not be a pig about it. Whoever doubts that this could actually happen because they are strangers, has a point. But it's a STORY! Fantasy!

and I really loved it!

Great pacing, engaging story and characters, really begs for further exploration.

Glad I found this gem, please write more!

Jason

SCHWING!

WONDERFUL!

Started this twice already-decided I HAD to see it through this time

The characters, and dialogue, and action-GREAT!

hard to believe the next most-recent comment over 7 years old...and great last scene-Kyle seeing what he just blew off, and Sarah seeing for first time what he was packing/had just broke her cherry...lucky girl!

And could easily see this continuing...smoking-hot New Relationship Energy, and great tags to the right, and hopefully some equally hot Similar Stories too

easy 5, and fave...and will check out your other stories, tho sadly not too many others, and seems you've not continued writing...you've got a gift.

Loved it! Nice switchback to charm the reader. Thank you.