All Comments on 'The Aftermath'

She cheated but in the end the husband gets the blame for destroying the marriage simply because he could not forgive her for being a cheating slut. What is fair or reasonable about this? Why is everything always the man's fault and the woman always given a pass for bad decisions or behavior?

Lying to the children will come back to bite both of them in the ass eventually. When the kids get old enough to figure out the truth they will hate both parents for lying before they even consider which was at fault for the breakup in the first place. I think that it's a shame that cheaters don't seem to care how their cheating will affect family and friends as well as their spouse.

But she couldn't understand his inability to "live" with her betrayal. Don't figure... O, a ***t must have written this story. Sry..lol... Interesting how you can see your point of understanding but not someone else, even though it seems to be some what the same logic.....

bill, good story dam made me think

I must confess that I infer you possess certain qualities, based on your choice of name. Swingers, as I understand the term, choose to engage in polyamorous relationships so long as both parties (assuming a relationship of two persons of any gender) are aware--in advance--of any outside-the-couple relationship. This seems to imply that a sexual coupling can be separated from any feeling anachronistically referred to as "love." Your value system explains the story's clear message that anyone who fails to forgive and accept their partner's betrayal bears equal responsibiity for all consequences of the betrayal with the betrayer.

Can I be forgiven for assuming that you have never been betrayed? Or for at least doubting that you have ever really loved a partner?

Even though you apparently have been spared the pain of love betrayed, I still pity you; you may have avoided the depths, but you also missed the summit.

You're not the first to presume all sorts of things about me based on the username I chose. For the record, I have been madly in love with my wife for a quarter of a century (and counting.) She is the center of my universe, and I (presumably) am hers.

I have never been betrayed by her, nor by any other woman, so when I write about men (or women) who are betrayed and the emotions they experience, it flows only from my imagination.

As for the female character in this story, you presume that I share her moral values and beliefs -- which is quite a presumption! I enjoy writing about flawed characters. They're far more interesting than the comic book characters we all-too-often see in this category.

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Usually I am okay with these kind of stories. This particular story made me sad then mad. Even at the end of the story it was about her. Never about him. Ever. Made to seem it was about him. Infidelity, whether hidden or in the open kills.

She made the decision to sleep around. Now it's his fault the marriage died. He ask her for details and she refused. Again she made a decision to not do as ask. She made it his fault he needed to know. If she had done two things the outcome could have been different. If she had kept her legs shut and if she had answered his questions she might have kept her husband. None of this is his fault.....

Yes I know this is a story.....

The outcome was obvious, having her justify why she had to do it is bullshit. What she needed to do was keep her legs shut. Once the trust is gone the marriage is over.

And trying to blame him for causing the outcome in even a shared responsibility is B.S.. Her actions caused his reactions. His only failing is that he didnt have the character to walk out and stay out after her confession. After you cheat you have no right to expect any understanding. You made a contract and you broke it. deal with it learn from it and move on. Stop making excuses and trying to justify your decisions with the cheaters lament YES I DID IT AND I HATE MYSELF BUT, WHY ARE YOU CONTINUING TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS....I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH (BULLSHIT) CANT YOU FORGIVE?!?!? ......... NO, GET THE HELL OUT!!!!!

I'm a flawed woman, I'm not perfect, I screw up all the time. But cheating is cheating. She tries (or you) try to get her off scot free with only having said yes I cheated. As a female, I would want to know why, just for my self esteem. Your story left a sour taste In my mouth. It feels as if you have a very low stander when it comes to women.

I feel strongly females don't understand how men think. She didn't understand why her husband needed to know every detail of the sex she had. Men need to know so we can compare the act. If lover better then forget it. Every time you make love you are wondering what she is thinking. I don't think a women will ever forget the sex act with the lover and always compare with the husbands sex act. The juice in the act with a lover when cheating is like your honeymoon. Lover always going to be different and exciting. I don't think any one man or women could ever not always think it could happen again.

What self-serving crap. He did not try hard enough? Really. She could not even tell him why or what. He wanted to get details to get his mind around it. But she denies him even this. She destroyed the marriage. She cheated. If what he needed to start to deal with it was honesty from her, she should have been thanking him for the opportunity, not denying the only chance the marriage had.

Typical woman's point of view. She cheats he's upset, marriage dies why because he was upset and couldn't trust her. All his fault,

Perhaps before confessing she should have met with a marriage counsellor and taken advice the advice that confession is good for the soul but would be disaster for the marriage.

I'm sure the counsel would be live with her mistake and not confess just concentrate on her marriage making up for her indiscretion by being a good wife lover and mother as her mistake will over the years become a distant memory.

But she decided to confess and because her husband found he could no longer trust her the marriage became the casualty.

The marriage would have probably lasted, if she never told him? If she had thought about her husband and daughter? If she had a little self esteem? He would figure it out sometime. This act brought out the weakness in both of them. All men are a little insecure when it comes to their wives. All wives are on the lookout for something better. Both need to remember that acting like an adult is a little harder than it seems!

Hated the story. She made all the decisions including divorce cuz SHE couldn't live with a person who had character flaws? Ultimately she felt righteous. Why should any partner in a marriage have to fight for the affections of their mate when mate has chosen to share herself/himself with another? She started it she ended it. She had no deep emotion invested from the start. Like most other things in today's society marriage is disposable when it becomes inconvenient

4*s.

I absolutely agree with the aforementioned eloquent, inciteful comments by (266xyz) however I would not reward the writer with anything above a *2

She was only ever half honest with him. Never fully, never completely. She destroyed that marriage and it's mainly on her for doing it. I never understand women who attack men for their insecurities that they helped create. It's just like a woman to do that. Once he finally was willing to look past it and work to build a better marriage despite his character flaws becoming apparent she decided yet again not to. Yes she can pretend self-reflection all she wants but in the end she remains a selfish woman and she's doing what she can to alleviate her guilt by placing it on her husband. Though she will admit that her action was the catalyst but you can see her subtly Shifting the blame from herself to her husband. And unfortunately such women are very prevalent in Western Society.

Such a sad outcome. This is a person that tries to justify her acts and shift the blame. The really sad thing about this is, it is such typical behavior of the people of today's personalities. No one accepts the responsibilities of their actions and justifies their behavior.

As someone who was in this situation it continues to surprise me that a woman somehow can expect you to simply move on. She has never been able to adequately explain why she did it. It's really damaged our life. After I put the asshole in the hospital I started getting anger management, which is slowly helping. The other couple divorced and we lost a lot of friends. Hopefully in time this will get better. She moved back into our bedroom recently and seems to be trying to make up but I'm going to be cautious for a long time. The trust we had for so many years is gone.

I’m guessing it was a very challenging story to tell in a convincing way, and I am very impressed. She makes good arguments for her positions; she realizes (some of) her flaws. That doesn’t mean I like (or agree with) her perspective or reasoning, but it was a very well told story.

Thus, I thank you for an excellent contribution.

With regards to the actual content of the protagonist’s arguments, the author may (or may not) want readers’ insights. I get that sometimes a story is just told through a (likely flawed, human) character’s view of the world and the events therein. Thus, the quality of a protagonist’s arguments may very well be irrelevant. However, sometimes an author wants to make a certain point or offer a different perspective on the human condition and allow readers to learn from the story. Should that be the case, then an author might very well consider the quality of the story’s character’s arguments important. My comments on the quality of logic of the protagonist’s reasoning follow.

At first she wanted him to work with her on their relationship. She wanted to attempt to heal the damage to their marriage via counselling. When the husband finally comes to a point where he’s willing to work on the relationship, I find it interesting that she fails to agree at that time. I would’ve thought one might try, even at a seemingly late date, for the sake of their child and for the love she still professes to have – wouldn’t that be a good opportunity to work on their respective issues via counselling? Instead, she rejects her husband’s (belated) attempt to reconcile.

She never figured out why she cheated. She never was completely and honest and open with her husband about what happened. She imposed a timetable on any attempted reconciliation. The damage she inflicted to the marriage should be dealt with via counselling, and she finds fault with him that he isn’t prepared to work on the relationship when she wishes. When his actions and needs (i.e., the need for time and space to get prepared to work on reconciliation) are causing issues for her in their relationship… she’s not so inclined to want to put the work in. I quote, “his decision not to fight for our family made me realize that our priorities were drastically different. My love for him was unconditional, and I would have done whatever it took to forgive him if the situation were reversed.” It may be natural/normal for two individuals to be prepared to work on a relationship at different times… and that may very well create insurmountable challenges, but does she even recognize her hypocrisy?

She would have done “whatever it took” except wait for him to be ready to deal with the mess she made. He clearly was willing to fight for his family… just not at a time that suited her.

Sorry but the errant party doesn't get to blame the husband for his loss of trust and desire NOT to fight for the marriage. She did the crime and has to do the time.

She was willing to do whatever it took, except exactly what it did take. Several months separation was to much. Well it certainly did reveal her character. A controlling, judgmental cheater.

because this was a grown up perspective. Yeah, she cheated. She made a single mistake that she owned up to and tried to move on from. And he was very insecure. So, yeah, she was the bigger person.

he's just a clingy victim waiting and needing to be victimized.

She never honestly answered all of his questions and still tries to make it his fault, I would have reacted the same way he did.

It leaves a bad taste so I understand the lower score, but illustrates some differences in how the average man and woman view love and sex. The thought that your wife sees another man as better than you sexually is nearly paralyzing for many men in long term relationships. While women certainly fear comparisons to other women they seem to be able to deal with it. This difference is why women regularly rank sex on down the list when choosing a spouse. What's interesting is that for the man it's more important that he believes he ranks near the top for his wife even if she's not at the top for him. Men desperately need to feel like they "do it" for their wives.

SJ has written a poignant cheating story, judging by 230 comments in less than a year, some running a full page in length. And it's a good story, too. The writing is very good for an amateur author and I can't find fault there. The plot is quite believable, too. What interests me is how the Lit. readership treats the characters. For some there is no forgiveness for the wife. That seems inhuman to me, since we are all prone to weakness and in need of forgiveness. But wifey should have told hubby everything when he asked, whether she understood his reasons or not. Even if she had to go over and over it again, ad nauseam. That could have been her penance! But! Hubby was wrong to withhold his forgiveness. It was within his power to forgive but he withheld that forgiveness from his desperate wife, and also from his daughter. That was not a loving act. These cheating stories arouse such passion! Those who say BTB would do well to understand Portia's speech in The Merchant of Venice:

The quality of mercy is not strained;

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest;

It blesseth him that gives and him that takes...

Or check out Matthew 5.

"She cheated but in the end the husband gets the blame for destroying the marriage simply because he could not forgive her for being a cheating slut." - It's actually worse than that! He got the blame because he couldn't forgive her on HER timetable!

"I just couldn't be married to someone who would constantly be on the lookout for betrayal and deceit." - Yet SHE was the one who was willing to submit to monitoring! From this statement, it's obvious that if he did come around, even WITHOUT the monitoring, SHE would have grown uncomfortable with his NATURAL lack of trust and ended things.

To bring back a couple of older points, when HE was ready to come back and work on the marriage, SHE refused because of his lack of trust and insecurity, which only backs up my prior point. I also somewhat disagree with her statement about his "latent" insecurity. As has been said several times, does it really matter? If he has latent insecurity, and nothing happens to trigger it, it's the same as if he never had it! Look at it like bravery - You have a guy, never did anything brave in his life, walking down the street and sees a house on fire, dashes in to save the family. Does it matter that he was "always brave," and just had nothing happen to trigger it, or that the situation simply called on him to be brave? Either way he committed a brave act, and I don't think anyone cares WHY!

I have seen to many times how it affects a guy whose wife cheated. Sorry I do not agree that it was his fault She then made the decision to end it because of how he reacted. Woman really do love to blame others for their mistakes. She is just trying to ease her conscience She would of tossed his ass out no matter how she said she would react if the tables were turned. It was a good story because it shows her justifying herself. Just like real life.

"It is the same in that we both made extremely poor decisions that could have had disastrous consequences." - Except his "poor decision" COULD have had "disastrous consequences." HER "poor decision" DID have disastrous consequences!

I think the wife's reaction to the reconciliation attempt was unfair. She had the encounter for her own satisfaction, then moved at her own pace to process the question of whether to confess. She decided she would, again to satisfy her needs. Then she withheld details her husband needed to help with his own processing, Fiinally, she dumped him when he could not think it through fast enough to (that word again) satisfy her. She killed her own marriage several times over.

Why is it that when a woman cheats and gets caught or confesses or whatever she says "WE can get thru this"? But when a man cheats it's a different story. Almost every story I've read similar to this one, the woman says that she would have thrown him out and divorced him but that he should rise above that, forgive and work with her. My experience with counsellors is pretty much like every one else’s..some how it is in some way it's also his fault and he must share the blame. I suspect that if he said he could get past it if he were to balance the scales with a "revenge" fuk she would go postal. So it goes...

WHAT A SHITY STORY BY A PATHETIC CUCKOLD OF A "WRITER".

swingerjoe,

I held on reading your tale which was essentially about a selfish whore of a married woman who wilfully ditched her relationship with her husband for strange cock. That's it. I don't know what possessed you to have the slut wife somehow turn events around 180 degrees so that her completely innocent husband got to share the blame. After that last paragraph you leave the reader with the distinct impression that the whore actually believed that her husband's problems with trust etc were somehow as worse if not more so than her original fuckfest. Don't try to put spin on your tale when you have not really allowed for that in your chosen plot. The cunt cheated by design - that's it...no real remorse shown by the slut to hubby. Believe me, I have read this a few times now, and advise you to do the same...if your purpose was to portray a dominant wife who apparently took the moral high ground over the man she cheated on then my friend, you succeeded and not in a satisfying way. Sorry, but that's how it struck me

After reading and rereading some stories i have come to the conclusion that the cheating wife's are delusional. responses like i love you and still love you are bull out right bull. The cheating tramps say things like we can work this out or ask WHY is this so hard for you, they fail to see that they have betrayed the trust shattering the husband and his heart often questioning as to what he had done wrong. The wives use that trust and unconditional love so cruelly against the loving husbands then wonder just why the men go off the deep end. i am the lucky husband of a cheating tramp that i busted and divorced her dumping her like a bad idea.Men if you hear the term honey we need to talk run away fast to the nearest divorce lawyer. For comparing it is a attempt fro the hubby to try to find out where he went wrong and hope that Brian can find someone to trust and love again and move on but the question is always in our heads will she cheat on me and with who.....

A spin on an proverb; Don't piss off the gator till after you crossed the river.

Where was her honesty? I didn't like this story. She gave herself plenty of time to think it over before she confessed, surely she had to have been smart enought to know that she couldn't just tell her husband that she had slept with some one else and not expect any questions. "Honey I slept with someone while I was away. Don't ask any questions." Really? So she decided to break up the family instead of being honest and confess the why? She said it herself, it was no different than with her husband. Why did she refuse to tell him that? Made it seem as if she wanted to reconnect with her lover and was looking for a way out of her marriage. Anyway this was a lousy story. You don't give her credit for being a woman. Anybody else would have put themselves through whatever to save a good marriage, even to the point of humiliating themselves. Good luck next time maybe you can come up with something better.

She stated that she loved her husband unconditionally but when he left her for a time to heal and understand that he still loved her, the wife has decided that she now hates him when he wants to continue in their marriage. The wife had the affair but she now no longer loves her husband. Obviously this author doesn't understand true love. This wife never really loved her husband like she states. She doesn't even care about her own child being deprived of her father.

Thinking about this, the story pisses me off for many reasons. Like, at the end she says she wouldn't subject herself to suspicion, but earlier offered a GPS tracker. I'm not going to bother with noting every piece of bullshit. But right after that, she says her love for him was unconditional. Not!

The story has an agenda that's insane. It could have been a romeo and Juliet type tragedy if the author hadn't perverted it so thoroughly.

You really are feminine at heart with this twisted logic.

It was a no win situation. A happy marriage that crashed and burned out over infidelity. *****

She confesses everything, because it is weighing so heavy on her, but instead of even trying to understand her husband's point of view. She makes a half-hearted attempt to get him to forgive her after she has ripped him apart, them when he has worked out some of his feelings and is willing to try, she dumps him because it's too little to late for her.

Bullshit!!!

Should have dumped the slut the first week! Trying to "hang in there" always a mistake.

I agree with your values in equality..However denial of gender is also a very slippery slope, It’s no slump that the genders are pre-programmed, thus predictable, The real challenge lays in the acceptance of the third gender...Obviously a consideration you yet have to take into consideration.

That's all I have to say...it's all on her.

...you will post a story to entertain your readers WITHOUT pushing your agenda.

Quite delusional and entitled; needs therapy.

There would would have been zero issue with her giving a very clinical recap of their encounter. I believe she was so obsessed with the sex that she thought it couldn't be retold without hyperbole and enthusiasm.

"Our once-happy family was destroyed by two bad decisions: one mine, and one Brian's."

Nope, this was all on her. She destroyed their family, then expected him to live on in the wreckage.

"He assured me that he could eventually forgive me and learn to trust me again."

And because he had the audacity to not instantly forgive her, the cunt tells him to fuck off, probably because she'd already found his replacement.

Your very first paragraph, totally contradicts your last 2. She says she would do anything to stop it, but in fact, did EVERYTHING to make it happen. Though I wonder why any man would want them answered, why not answer his questions? Not answering sure didn't help any at all. Then she tries to ease her conscious, by "discovering" things about him she didn't "like". A second, more in-depth look into her is needed here. She has the problems, not him.

Blame the husband. -1

the itch cheated and now is her husbands fault. get fucking real

So she blamed it on two bad decisions one she made and one she claims he made. This whole thing could have been avoided had she simply kept her legs closed

Husband was immature.

He was insecure. I wonder whyever would he be insecure after her cheating. I wonder why he'd be insecure when his wife can't or wont tell him why she cheated. He takes the affair as a personal affront because he's SURE that something he did, or didn't do, is directly responsible for the affair. He thinks she's just hiding behind "I don't know why".

Now, of course, not seeking individual or joint counseling was a glaring mistake. Not that counseling is any guarantee of fixing things but...

I find often, when I had thought I’d read all an author’s LW stories, when I check back just to be sure, I find one or two that I’d missed for one reason or another. This is one of those.

I think it’s a little gem. 5-stars.

to find out something like this. My own wife was away, for over a month. She came home normal, perfectly normal. Six months later, six MONTHS! She told me about being at a party for her classes, everyone younger. Drink, smoke, she didn't fit in. One younger man paid attention, one thing led to another and they had a one night stand. It's tough to take, trust goes out the window. If she could once, why not again? We are still together, it's been 3 years now. Our life is not the same, when she goes shopping, it comes back. It so far has never gone away, we both know that. Trying, though.

I understand her point of view regarding Brian’s insecurity being such, and so bad, that they needed to part. But later I realized she said, “After several months had passed...”. Now, I suppose I need clarification on what constitutes “several”? Well, it’s more than 2, or it would have been “a couple”. “A few”, 3-5 months? “Several”???

I have to say as she is the guilty party, the one that caused the original harm, she needs to be patient for up to a year, and certainly 9-10 month, for Brian to pull himself together. If her “several months” is less than that I think she either doesn’t fully feel the guilt as the perpetrator, hence she is shallower than she would like to seem, or she doesn’t feel the emotional depth of connection (love) that she purports to feel for Brian, ie she wasn’t that “in love” with him at that time as she claims.

Now, the wording of time is critical here. If the time span had been 10-11 month, I personally would have said, “After nearly a year”. 6 months? “After half a year...”. If her “several months” is less than 9 months... well, there you have it. Selfish conniving bitch!

Also, it seems she came to a decision to part with Brian, but about this time Brian starts to pull himself together. Again, as the guilty party, she should have backtracked her, I suppose divorce proceedings, to see if he does in fact reconcile himself with her actions. But for her, it’s too little too late. Like it’s his fault/problem. Well if she’s falling off him, while he’s starting to comeback to her, and she sees this, then as long as this wasn’t 3 years down the line, I think it’s incumbent upon her to “man up”, at least a little while to make sure It’s not just a little reconciliation “hiccup” on Brian’s part. If in a few weeks he doesn’t get better, then proceed. Again, she precipitated this. It’s upon her to make the extra effort.

Even with individual and couples counseling, it takes about two years to get to the 'new normal'. Check out the infidelity web sites. Most say pretty much the same. So if he's still a hot mess several months later, guess what? He's normal. His questions are also very, very normal. The cheating spouse has the whole picture. The betrayed spouse only has a few pieces of the puzzle. And the cheating spouse expects them to take their word for things and not worry about what they feel is important. In other words, take the word of a cheater and a liar as to what facts about the cheating are important. Not likely. The betrayed spouse has the ABSOLUTE right to get as many of the other pieces as they need. But it is very common for the cheating spouse to want to minimize what happened and to try to put it in the past. So he did have some issues but her attitude really burned down her marriage. She should have gone to therapy to figure out why she did this. So her refusal to figure out why and her refusal to give the answers he NEEDED, not wanted, but needed. Made it almost impossible for him to move forward all by himself. His only fault was not trying to get some help. But without his wife fixing her own problems, there was no way they could move on. Maybe if she had gotten off her ass and been in therapy she might have found some answers. The therapist would certainly advise her to tell her husband as much as he wanted to know and in whatever level of detail he felt he needed. Did she do that? Hell NO!! She took it upon herself to be the one and only arbiter of the information about the affair. If she wants to really salvage a relationship with her husband, then she needs to tell him whatever he wants to know. She states that she will do WHATEVER it will take to fight for her marriage. One would think that that would include answering his QUESTIONS!! So that statement was a TOTAL LIE!!!!!!! She also did NOTHING to find out WHY. Maybe if her husband had the answers, it might have helped him.

Dividing the responsibility for ending the marriage? 10%/husband and 90%/ wife.

And if we reverse who did what, the blame would also be reversed. It's not a husband or wife thing. It's about who cheated and withheld critical information. That's who to blame. Don't get hung up on the husbands faults. The betrayed spouse (male or female) is going to feel the same way the husband did. it is very common for the betrayed spouse to feel inadequate and have serious issues with their self esteem and self worth, male and female. You don't tell the betrayed spouse to just rub some dirt on it and walk it off. Having answers and knowing the facts does help. It is often said that the facts of the affair are usually much more mundane than the vivid images that keep replaying in the betrayed spouses imagination. And her ultimatum after less than a year after cheating, again with her doing NOTHING to help him, was absolutely ridiculous.

Now if she had gotten counseling and found out why she did it and told her husband what he needed to know, then who knows how it would have turned out. Maybe then he might have been open to marriage counseling. But as it stands, she was the one to burn her marriage down!!

Sure, it was entirely HIS decision that wrecked their family. Because he was there that night and held her labia open for her lover’s entry. And it’s HIS fault that he can’t trust her.

Some women just don’t get it. Confidence is based on successful ability: his continued employment; his ability to provide for his family; how he navigates parenthood; that desirable women find him desirable; and that he’s able to satisfy his wife’s emotional AND sexual needs. What she did, struck at his self-image - his desirability and ability to support and satisfy his wife.

She refused to help him understand, blamed HIM for their separation, and HE needs therapy? Maybe he does, but it’s only because she fucked with his head! She needs therapy, to determine why she cheated, and to develop a strategy for properly controlling her desires.

About 3/4 of the way through this, I thought what a great story. Why doesn't this have better scores. That last conversation she had with him about fighting for the marriage was perfect and I think any reasonable man would have at least tried counseling and given it a shot but no, good old SJ had to make the whole damn break up the guy's fault. If that wasn't enough, then he makes the guy weak and come crawling back to a strong, confident woman who tells him to get lost. Except for one weak moment she was the strong one and him the weak one all through this. What a piss poor ending to an otherwise good story.

Load of old twaddle the guys confidence in what he believed in has been shot to hell wonder how she would have felt if the shoe was on the other foot.Very little matters after the deed has been done

her love was VERY conditional.

maybe he was stubborn because that's what betrayal looks like when someone loves like he did...he only had one condition. and she broke it. she was willing to throw her family away....the family she kept using as a manipulative bargaining chip.

that was her time to crawl on glass, not bring up their daughter as a means to get what she wanted. she didn't want to fight for shit. she could not give him the details he asked for. she was too weak to even do that! and she just justifies everything. she always has an answer, even if it's 'idk why'

the author really tried to portray her as some flawed human that TRIES to do better. the only thing she did worth a shit was confessing....after a LONG bout of PERSONAL anxiety and stress. She MAINLY did it for herself. She's very....melodramatic. "I would have worn a scarlett A on my chest." Okay, no one's stopping you bitch, do it! What's that? You wont? You're full of shit? You just enjoy making yourself out to be the victim in every single chapter of your life? Good luck with that.

Her being unable to give him details, but to throw a slut his way, shows how little she values exclusivity. She was right about one thing, she needs a man that has the same feelings that she does on sex. One that'll cheat on her for w/e reason and feel justified. Her guilt was less about the cheating, and more about the fact she KNEW her husband wasn't. She has a sense of fairness about her. Her only redeeming quality.

How can you ever trust anyone that refuses to tell you what happened? Other than telling him she had an affair? How can you live not knowing if your wife think you less of a man by keeping what happened secreted from him? I feel this woman was just being selfish. And her decision to end the marriage had been made even before he left. She knew that by refusing to confess what happened would drive him off, thats why she refused to come clean with him. When my late wife confessed her affair she came clean with me to where I forgave her, we stayed together for forty years before she died. Honesty was the only thing that could have saved their marriage. Unfortunately her decision to end it had been made before she even told him what she had done.

I thought about what I wrote earlier and decided that the best conclusion should have been That in essence, the wife is telling him. "I had an affair, Don't ask any questions because what happened is non of your business, all you need to know is what I told you. now you need to get over it, so we can keep on going with our life. Or divorce me."

He’s an insecure, immature wimpy guy. She screwed up but owned up to it and wanted to do whatever to fix it but he couldn’t let it go. So the failed marriage is on him more than her.

Wife is a cunt using transference to blame hubby.

Nope. She deserves all the hate and anger he can spew once she got on her high horse.

This is a short realistic tale. The key issue is regret x trust. The betrayal was a no return point. Option would be to hide it from her husband and live with the guilt and possibility of it come up some day, what would be an even worst character failure. The option is to go on apart and be happy. It is also better for their daugther that won't be educated in lies. Well developed.

swingerjoe

I read your tale keeping my mind open. Having finished reading, you as author come across as having a hard-on for the cheating slut wife. She passes off her choice to be unfaithful as a mistake, one not in keeping with her usual behaviour. Hubby feels quite rightly that she takes no personal responsibility for the lack of trust hubby now feels as a result of her decision to betray him. The wife was not, I repeat not an innocent victim to the unwanted advances of another man, but was entirely culpable in the act of adultery. Somehow, you twist the tale so that fault lies with hubby for the maariage melt'-down. I'm sorry but I have to call bullshit! I truly do not know what prompted you to develop your plot this way, but for some commentators they appear to have interpreted your story direction as evidence of some philosophical agenda you are trying to foist on your readers. Maybe you were trying to portray a strong female character who erred, but what you ended up with was an uppity WASP married woman who wasn't going to wait or help her cheated upon partner to come to terms with HER cheating. I mean come on dude, the fucking slut cheated...you as author made that event happen. How can she possibly end up as morally superior to hubby the real victim in this saga? Cheating in a long term relationship is a concious choice by both adulterers. She didn't fall on his dick by some strange accident! This lies at the heart of some of the criticism you have received for this submission. Your writing style is great and could not be faulted. I think you set yourself a very difficult challenge - to make the wrong doer the ultimate richeous party.

Adultery-apologizing pile of shit...there literally isn't anything more to add

....fuck yourself, timriv

A whore, a slut, a rotten cheating bitch. You described her perfectly in your first paragraph. A woman admits that she wasn't drunk, and made the conscious decision to sleep with Russell. So she feels guilty and confesses to her husband, and then gets pissy when he wants more information. She won't talk, and he withdraws emotionally. So the marriage fails and it's his fault. Bullshit. Without her cheating, there is no problem at all. It's all her. I could not, and would not accept that betrayal in my marriage. She would be gone, and if I had Russell's name he would be next on my list. As always, a very well written story, but a total cop out in favor of a cheating whore, who deserved to burn. I'm leaving my swingerjoe experience for now, to get the bad taste out of my mouth. I'll be back later, once I recover.

The marriage was destroyed by the wife

Its not the husbands fault he cannot trust her again..... Without trust their is no marriage

She breaks him by fucking around on him and then telling him so hse can stop feeling guilty.

She takes the one thing he's anchored his life to, and shits all over it.

Then, when he's down, she starts judging him because he won't do shit her way.

The final sentence shows HER true nature.

I hope the next man in her fictitious life beats her to death when she eventually cheats on him as well, and he finds out.

Swingerjoe

Your tale's plot and character portrayals were far too biased towards the slut wife and her piss-poor excuses for fucking around. Then she has the audacity of blaming hubby for his unwillingness to forgive her for her actions. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Sorry but the wife's unjustified self-righteousness got right up my nose.

Wife cheats because the husband is at fault. Why can't you see that?

Very good and very realistic. She was wrong but he was a child. Better that she find someone else who was not so immature.

and seems content to slap all the responsibility for fixing her mess on the husband. Such a pitiful self -serving wife.

People react differently when traumatized by infidelity. Some can be forgiving but in this situation the husband couldn't forgive. It was better they split. The husband deserved a better quality and less arrogant woman in his life.

Never tell. Until you tell, it is the tree that fell in the woods with no one hearing. The moment you tell, all that sound and energy comes crashing down on the one you say you love solely for the purpose of easing your own mind.

I liked the story however I disagree with 2 bad decisions one hers and one his she made the first decision to cheat forcing him to make his. She started the failing of the marriage by sleeping with another man. he didn't betray her she betrayed him

You had something compelling in the beginning.

THEN, it was his failing(s) that -entirely - took over your story.

YOU coulda gone somewhere with this - but you went somewhere worse than Nowhere.

Is ‘quantity’ of stories like penis size here?

Bluntly, I’m truly disappointed with how this storytelling effort turned to poop.

JMAS

She makes this his fault. She says she loves him unconditionally but cheats and expects him to easily forget and forgive? She doesn't understand his mindset as she is not a man. Of course he will always think she is comparing. Of course he will always doubt she will cheat again. Hard to overcome. How can he kiss her or have sex when he feels she is damaged goods? As for dick size, of course we care. A cunt is a cunt and probably always feels good to a man unless it is the size of the grand canyon and we are a pencil dick. But a women HAS to notice the difference between 5 inches and 8 or more. May not be as good if the big guy is too rough but it is easier to coach a big guy to make love then to try and get 5 inches to reach 10. He had to leave. No choice. You wrote in a way I felt sorry for him and hated her. When she cheats on her next guy for certain she will keep quiet.

Never actually happened to me but I thought it did one time

It leaves you feeling inadequate

I agree with other comment she was totally at fault

We stay together since nothing ever happened but years for me to geehrtet over just possibility. Friends it happened to all divorced

It rips your guts out just thinking about it

But he should have at least tried therapy

In my friends cases where it actually happened they all healed faster when they let all concerned know the truth She or He cheated

The last sentence says a lot, but I also see a selfish woman who indeed would have cheated again had he forgiven her. She would have thought, "He forgave me once, he'll forgive me again, and again," Two stars for the mindset of the writer.

She cheats and can no longer live with him when he struggles to rebuild his trust in her? Nope. She made the mess. Either clean it up or admit the fault is hers.

And true to form for a selfish narcissist, when it is her turn to offer forgiveness she proves herself a hypocrite by not being able to do so.

She is willing to do anything..... except:

Go to counseling on her own to help her answer the why question or

Tell him the details he has asked for.

How is he to trust her if she is unwilling to trust him with the truth?

This stinking cunt has the nerve to try to turn this mess around and make him to be the bad guy !!!! Really !!! She admitted that she knew what she was doing, She admitted that she knew where it would lead to, She admitted she knew it was wrong and all before spreading her legs ! The sucking and fucking for hours with Mr big dick and it was all amazing ! Then the cum dries off and now she feels guilty HA !

She doesn’t tell him right away thinking she can get away with the Crime !

Eating at her only for fear he’ll find out...She Tells Him.... then comes all the bullshit... I love you, it’s you that I want, I’ll do ANYTHING....

He says then tell me everything every detail !

She doesn’t..... NEWS FLASH...So much for ANYTHING !! He should have BTB, tell his/her family the real reason why the marriage went to shit !!!

This here is the reason why you can not be the good guy and bow out gracefully. She fuck up she should be known as the bad guy and pay for it !!!

Otherwise as in this story she puts HIM out to be the bad guy while minimizing her fault to something less than HIS crime not to forgive her !!!

Nooooo this batch HAS TO BURN for all to see !

I will never understand how it’s his fault. She cheated then set the terms on how she would tell the truth. It’s was his fault for wanting to know what and how it happened. But do you ever notice or read swingerjoes comments. A woman hasn’t made a mistake since Eve gave Adam the apple, and that was His fault to.

Too many people that she wasn't the one totally at fault here. She's willing to do anything to regain his trust, everything but tell the whole story then blames his insecurity. Interesting story, but what she did having the affair and afterwards both sucked. Signed: BTW

Nothing left to save. It was a shitty marriage from the start.

Brian has no blame in this mess. She cheated. For no reasonable reason. Just because she could. Why would it be Brian's job to simply "forgive" her indiscretion? Given the fact that she can't give any reasons for her cheating, why would ANY man not be worried about their "performance" in bed and her cheating going forward? Why would Brian not make it abundantly clear why they separated and divorced to everyone? It wasn't his fault. Naturally she's the one with optimism and hope. She's the guilty party and wants forgiveness. I laughed hard when you wrote "her love was unconditional"! Really? If the situation were reversed she'd forgive him? She wants him to forgive her. She wants him to move on from her transgressions. She wants him to put everything behind them and get over his insecurities and anger. That's a big ask. You may be trying to write from a woman's point of view (a failure btw) but as a man you know men have fragile egos. She does nothing to help him and literally tells him to just "man up". If he's the man you paint him to be he goes to the 7th level of Hell to place the blame on her in everyone's eyes. Including their daughter's. His wife started it. He ended it. And after the divorce I think he's all good with his actions. Horrible attempt at story telling.

This time I see the Lue influence all over this. Cheating wife has a little fling. She can't say why, but expects husband to suck it up and get over it. When he can't and they separate, they don't tell anyone the real reason for the split. SJ plus Lue equals nothing, except an apology for a cheating whore.

The "fragile ego" trope is just feminist propagated horseshit designed to give cheating cunts a pass. The issue is betrayal, trust, destruction of intimacy, and other things. So, Joe, you got it wrong on that score. Moreover, when the bitch gets what she says she wants, she decides she no longer is willing to try, even though no one could possibly know whether the relationship might slowly start to mend if they resumed living together. Brian bears NO blame for her sluttishness or the ultimate destruction of the family. She does.

Haley lost her happy home and her mother is solely at fault.

Just like a cheating woman to put the blame on the man because he was pissed about what she did. The fact that she had absolutely no remorse for the break up just shows what a load of shit this story is.

No wonder she cheated on him.

That anyone could see the innocent victim in this as having any blame for the breakup of this marriage . The only reason Brian experienced insecurity is because his wife was a mcheating slut. All she needs is the right circumstances to present themselves and she'll do it again. Three fucking cheers for her confession. She only did that for the selfish reason of alleviating her own guilt. Brian gave her his all which included his trust and she trashed it along with the marriage. I pisses me off to see an expectation of infidelity in marriage and expectation of acceptance by the offended party because "it had nothing to do with you". Bullshit. In the marriage vows there's that little part about the 2 shall become one and forsaking all others. You want to slut around, don't get married.

so many comments about Brian being the bad guy. Not every man can quickly forgive and take back a cheating wife. As for trust and moving on - how? She gave no reason for why she cheated so what can they fix? If she said he was inattentive or something they would have something to work on. Going to a counsellor is not the complete answer as you would be hearing their guess or interpretation of why. If it comes from the cheater then it is more definitive as to what to correct.

Divorce is the right answer as these two don't mix.

lol. C’mon.

Too bad Brian couldn’t just suck it up and be the text book perfect betrayed spouse he should’ve been.

I'll tell you why, because 85% of the so called men here are cuckolds. Swingerjoe is stuck on a man's pride as an argument fro men not taking cheating bitches back, but her cheating had nothing to do with pride. Its her Vanity. Then his pride becomes a problem when he says fuck you and move on. She's forgiven herself....HOORAY, she must want a cookie. I find it funny when women or cuckolds discuss a man pride. They didn't seem to have a problem with his pride when he paid the bills. Or the pride he took in his family. but then he's not reacting like she has or hoped he would. and know she wants to give an ultimatum.