The Agent Pt. 02: Rogue Nation

"What the fuck," I whispered to myself as I laid my body on the brown couch. At that point, I was too awake to fall asleep. It took me half-an-hour to finally get some shut eye.

- - - - - - - - - -

I woke up by the smell of coffee.

My eyes flew open as my hand snatched the blanket off my body while the other grabbed Carrie's gun from underneath the pillow. I crouched down to the floor.

"Good morning to you too, Seventy-six," Carrie's voice called out from the kitchen. "There's food here if you like."

I blinked a couple of times as the wheels in my head jumpstarted again. After putting the gun in my pocket, I slowly made my way towards the kitchen. Goosebumps formed at my skin once my foot made contact with the wooden floor. My mouth watered as smell of coffee and other food filled my nostrils. The table was filled with various breakfast goods.

Carrie cooked behind the stove. She wore a plaided red apron with her hair up in a messy bun. From afar, she looked like a young housewife. Awkwardly, I sat down and eyed the food in front of me. My stomach grumbled realising that I haven't eaten for the past sixteen hours.

"Help yourself," Carrie chirped. My hand immediately reached out for the cup of coffee while the other reached for a bagel. I stared out of the kitchen window as I sipped on my coffee. A blanket of fresh snow covered the ground. Thick snowflakes whirled through the air and the sky was a shade darker than white. It's the middle of February, yet the snow never stopped. It was an odd realisation that it was only a couple of weeks ago I woke up in a cabin owned by a lovely couple. How much has happened on the month of December, yet it wasn't that long ago when I first met Carrie, but at the same time it felt like a long time.

"You're in deep thought," Carrie suddenly said as she sat next to me. I eyed her. Of all the other empty chairs at the table, she decided to sit next to mine. "What are you thinking about?"

"How I managed to skip Christmas," I lied, eyeing her at the corner of my eye. "I guess I've been too busy to notice the Christmas decorations around the city. Just too...preoccupied."

"Yea, I know what you mean," she answered as she took a bite from her omelette. "It's hard to forget that there's a life outside, well, our kind of lives." She took another bite and curiously looked at me, almost like she was studying every detail of my face. My eyebrows furrowed together. I looked up at her and my eyes fell on her bruised neck.

"Sorry about that," I muttered. "I didn't know it was you."

"I have a feeling you'd still do what you did if you knew it was me." She gave me a small smile and continued on eating. I looked at her with worry. If agent Ten hadn't knocked me unconscious, I'd probably attempt to choke her to death. A part of me wanted to reach out and touch the damage I've done, but before I raised my arm, Carrie got up and got herself a glass of water.

"There's not a lot of activities we can do here," she said," but we'll work something out. There's a couple of movies, books and games in the living room, but no wifi down here. The only device that can access the internet is my laptop."

"You have your laptop here?" I suddenly said as my head immediately jerked up. "The same laptop you had since a couple of months ago?"

"No, not anymore," she answered. "There was a little bug in my old laptop. I think someone hacked into it."

"It was Ashley. Just so you know."

She grimly nodded. "I figured it was her, but it doesn't matter anymore. My new laptop is Ashley-free."

I wouldn't be too sure about that, I thought to myself. If the grey-eyed raven-haired woman was smart enough to hack into Carrie's laptop once, she'd try to do it again.

"You and Ashley must be close if she told you that," she said then sipped her water. She came back and sat down beside me.

"Not really," I chuckled. "More like a forced companion."

"You have to be careful around her."

"Is that a warning?" I asked. It was clear to me that she didn't like Ashley for some particular reason, but it was rare to see Carrie rattled. My curious side wanted to see the rawness of her emotions even if it was a mere glimpse. Her eye twitched. She shook her head.

"No, just a warning, Seventy-six. She's not who she say she is."

"That's funny," I answered," because that's the same thing she said about you."

"Just...be careful who you trust. And I'm really hoping that..." she trailed off and looked at me in the eye with a serious expression. "That you'll trust me again." My eyebrow rose up as an overwhelming amount of affection I felt for her skyrocketed. Her expression softened as I pursed my lips together.

"We'll see," I finally said. "But in the meantime, what do you want to do?"

"There's a town a couple of miles away from here," she said." Maybe twenty to thirty minutes worth a drive through this snow. I need to pick up groceries anyway, but we can walk around there. You want to go?" I looked around the cozy cabin, thinking what I'd do to pass the time. There wasn't a lot of things to do here and I was itching to do something. Finally, I agreed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Carrie's main transportation was a run down blue Chevy pickup truck. She bought it on the last minute online from an elderly man who wanted to make quick money. The heater wasn't working properly, but we were warm underneath layers of clothes. I hated bulky winter clothes and coats since it restricted most of my movements if I was to fight, but the weather was particularly cold this morning and it was still snowing. I shivered underneath.

"We'll stop by a small coffeeshop," Carrie said as she drove. "We need to warm up."

When we arrived at the small town, it almost looked deserted due to the fresh snow covering it. There wasn't a lot of people roaming outside, but I didn't blame them. It was twenty-five degrees fahrenheit out. We parked a near a small local grocery store and a lone cashier greeted us once we entered in. Like a lost puppy, I stayed by Carrie's side while she pushed the cart, chatting endlessly about food and nutrition.

I don't know if it was Carrie or the fact that I acted like a civilian or both, but my stress levels decreased. A small smile slithered across my lips.

"Why are you smiling like that?" she asked curiously as she grabbed a box of cereal off a shelf. I shook my head and forced the corners of my mouth to go downwards.

"Nothing."

"It feels nice, doesn't it? Being a civilian, I mean. Having a life outside the Agency."

The fact was I could never picture my life outside the Agency. It seemed surreal, almost impossible to undo the life I was currently leading. All the training, missions, everything the Agency has given and provided me, all of it was part of me. If I pushed all of them away, what would I have left? Just an empty vessel?

"I guess so," I answered," but it seems like a boring life."

"I think I won't mind boring," she smiled. "It's a lot more peaceful than our lives. Besides, if you find someone to be with you, I think it'd be worthwhile."

I gave her an abrupt laugh.

"I really doubt it if someone else would want to be with me," I said, putting my gloved hands in my coat pockets. "I wouldn't know what to do with them." Carrie looked at me at the corner of her eye. I detected a small smile across her lips before she turned her head away. I had to admit it, but I felt a little giddy at that moment. There were butterflies in my stomach.

"What about you?" I suddenly asked. "Any hotel neighbours you want in your life?" Her cheeks turned crimson. I felt my heart drop a little, wondering if she still had feelings towards our previous hotel neighbour in Chicago, who I caught her having sex with one night in our own hotel room. It happened after I attempted to kiss her in which I got rejected. It shouldn't bother me now, but that was the first time in my life I attempted to show my affection towards anyone. I wonder if she thinks about that kiss, I thought to myself, I wonder if she still remembers how I managed to make a fool out of myself.

Quite honestly, I still think about it from time to time. My mind tends to replay that glorious moment where our lips touched. I was kissing her and I swear she was kissing me back until she pulled away. It was a magical moment for me where I felt connected with someone, but it was also the moment where I was discouraged to do something like that ever again.

"I'm almost done," she said, changing the subject. "Do you want something?" I grinned and said no. I couldn't help it, she was just too damn cute to tease even though deep down inside it was killing me. What can I say, I can be quite a masochist. After she paid, we made our way to Samson's, a small coffeeshop a couple of feet from the store.

The coffeeshop was extremely homely and only a handful of guests. I ordered a regular cafe latte, while she just had tea. We sat down at a table near a frosted window. The snowing stopped and the grey skies hovered over us like a blanket. Carrie and I sat at the opposite end of each other. Secretly, I stole glances her way, studying the redhead at every chance I get.

"That was nothing, you know," she suddenly said. Her hand slightly fidgeted and her eyes guiltily looked at mine. "That night with Angelo just happened, nothing else."

"He didn't look like an Angelo," I laughed. "Then again, when I found him on top of you, all I could see was his ass so I couldn't really judge." Carrie shut her eyes tight and looked at me again with a hint of anger in her eyes.

"All I'm saying is he means nothing to me," Carrie continued.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I just wanted to clear the air, Seventy-six."

"The air didn't need clearing in the first place."

"I mean ever since you..." she trailed off. Her face worked as she attempted to find the right words in her mind. I looked at her warningly. "Ever since you left, it felt like every thing went awkward between us." You don't say, I thought to myself.

"You had your orders, Carrie," I said in a serious tone. "You tried to kill me, yes, but you compensated by helping me. Don't overthink this." However, I wondered if she meant the kissing incident or the whole Agency situation. I didn't ask because I doubted if she thought of our kiss at all. We chatted for a while, talking about the small town and the cold weather. Never did we bring up the Agency, the Trojan Horse or Ashley's rogue nation. The conversation was light.

It felt nice, like I was breathing in something lighter than air.

We stayed at the coffeeshop for two hours, but it felt like we only stayed for half an hour. Time flew fast when I was with her and I'm time conscious by habit.

During our silent ride back to the cabin, my mind had conflicting opinions on whether or not I should tell Carrie about the Trojan Horse. Even though it's been only a day, my trust for her was still low, yet at the same time I warmed up to the thought of telling her. I looked at her at the corner of my eye as she lowly hummed to the tune the radio was playing. Like I said, I'd wait it out, but I somehow knew deep inside, there was a high chance I'd trust her again.

And that scared the shit out of me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

The cabin was a lot colder than I hoped once we arrived. I attempted to start the fireplace, but Carrie was a lot better in starting a spark. She gave me an amused smile when she saw my frustrated expression. I knew I had to shower, but the thought of getting out from the hot water and into the cold atmosphere was undesirable.

"You shower first or me?" Carrie asked casually as she went to her bedroom.

"Does it matter?" I asked from the kitchen, putting the groceries away.

"Sort of," she laughed. "Second one has less hot water."

"Then you go first," I answered. "I'm hot enough as it is. Add anymore hot water to my skin and I might burn." She laughed out loud.

"Me it is. The bathroom is in my bedroom for your information." I heard a door close. After I put the groceries away, I went to the bookcase and opened the bible: the USB was still there. I sighed in relief. My ears pricked as the sound of running water from Carrie's bedroom made its way into my eardrums. I grabbed threw a couple of fresh logs to the fireplace. I shivered.

I tried to keep myself occupied by reading Gravity by Tess Gerritsen, but my eyes turned towards Carrie's bedroom a couple of times. Flashes of the redhead underneath the hot water made my mouth water. I wondered how soft her fair skin and how full her luscious lips were. My thoughts grew deeper and deeper until I realised how hot it was to the point that little droplets of sweat formed on my face. I swiped the sweat off my eyebrows and brushed off the sexual thoughts out of my mind. What the fuck is wrong with you, I thought to myself as I forced my head to looked forward.

"Seventy-six!" Carrie called out from the bathroom. My head whipped towards her voice and my hand automatically slid underneath my pillow and grabbed the gun. "Can you grab my clothes? They're on my bed." I put the gun back where it was and slowly made my way to her bedroom. With every step I took, I felt my heart beat faster and faster. Why am I so nervous, I thought to myself as my hand pushed the bedroom door open.

Carrie's room was neither too big nor too small. It was simple yet cozy and presentable. It was just right, but it was a tad colder than the living room. Even with the electric blanket on, how the hell did she managed to get warm? I grabbed her pyjamas from the queen sized bed and knocked on the bathroom door a couple of times.

"Favor?" Carrie said inside. "Just come here, hold the clothes out and I'll quickly get out from the shower. I didn't realise how cold it was." I looked dumbly at the door and opened it in a trance-like manner. My body tensed up as I walked in the steamed bathroom. Her underwear and pyjama bottoms were on my left hand while her long sleeved top was on my right. The shower stopped running and the shower curtains opened. I turned my head to my side as she went out and slowly put her clothes on. I felt her shiver.

"You look nervous, agent," Carrie said smoothly as I felt her hand grab for her pyjama bottoms. "It's not like you haven't seen a naked female body before."

"Just giving you some privacy," I said nervously, willing myself not to stare at the half-naked redhead in front of me.

"I'm willing to bet a lot of guys would pay just to see this body," she cooed. I could feel her teasing smile. "And you're here for a free show. What a shame you're not taking advantage of this."

My throat went dry. Was she really flirting with me? Or was this just something she'd do with anyone?

"Not that kind of girl, I guess," I answered, silently kicking myself in my head.

"Aw, what a gentlewoman." She grabbed the top then patted my shoulder a couple of times. "Okay, all done. Thanks!"

"Can I at least get some pyjamas of my own please?" I called out weakly after her.

- - - - - - - - - - -

I sat on the couch wrapped up in a bulky blanket right in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa in one hand, but I was still cold. It felt like I never wanted to unwrap myself and move around the house. It might've been cold and a little too quiet for my liking, but I was beginning to like the isolated life in the cabin. Of course, I still had a couple of weeks to think it through, but it was peaceful. I eyed the bible at the bookcase. If I could somehow just will it away, I thought to myself, maybe it'll just go away forever.

The bedroom door creaked open behind me and footsteps made their way to the kitchen. "Can't sleep either?" Carrie suddenly said in the dark kitchen. I shook my head. "Yea, me neither. That's why I'm getting milk." The footsteps made their way to the bedroom. Thinking of how cold Carrie's room was, I turned my head and called out her name.

"Yea?" Carrie said stopping mid track. My mind froze. Wait, why did I call her again?

"Why don't you join me?" I said as a little voice inside my head scolded me repeatedly. "It's cold in your room. Warm up a bit before you go back." She looked at me with surprise and smiled.

"Sure, she answered as one of her eyebrows curled up. From the looks of it, she was more dressed appropriately for the cold than I was. I only wore long pajamas, socks, and a long-sleeved shirt. On the other hand, she wore the same thing plus a grey wool robe. The couch's cushion gave way when she plumped down beside me. I offered to share my blanket with her, which she took without hesitation. Her arm made contact with mine as she cuddled underneath the blanket closely. It made my skin crawl with anticipation.

"It's a tad cold tonight, don't you think?" she shivered, giving me an amused look.

"Really? Huh, I didn't notice," I said sarcastically. "I don't know how you're able to sleep in that room of yours without our gear. It's cold as fuck in there."

"I'm used to it," she answered crinkling her nose. "I'm very much used to the cold temperature. I prefer it, actually, and my body is well-adapted to it."

I shrugged and sipped on my hot cocoa. "My body can't take it. I don't mind the cold during autumn or nearing winter, but this weather is just too much."

There was a short pause until she turned my head towards me, tilted it and looked me in the eye.

"Well, maybe you haven't found an effective way to warm your body up," she said quietly. I could feel my heart beat louder and stronger. There she goes again, I silently screamed to myself, was that a normal conversation for her or did she deliberately flirted with me just now? Perhaps I was overthinking this or maybe I wasn't thinking about it enough, but secretly I liked it. Be careful, I thought to myself, but part of me pushed my own warning away.

"Well, any suggestions?" I asked slowly as I silently kicked myself inside my head. I don't think she expected any answers from me. She looked almost embarrassed and scared for a split second, but then regained her confident composure. She cleared her throat and grinned.

"I can't tell you, it's my own method of keeping warm. If I do, I'm afraid you'll start to learn my tricks inside my sleeve."

"I doubt if I'll learn any of them," I answered softly as my hand tightly gripped the blanket. "You keep on surprising me."

She gave me a short laugh and bit her lower lip while looking at me. Flames reflected off her eyes, but there was something in them. They were purely dilated, cloudy. It was if they were screaming right at me, ordering me to do something, but I was frozen. I couldn't move. It was if her intense stare paralysed me from the neck down and I knew I was at her mercy.

The wind howled against the window and Carrie broke her trance-like stare. I did the same and looked at the fireplace. That was intense, I thought to myself as my hand smoothed the blanket out. If we stared a little longer, who knows what I would've done. I shivered at the thought.

I looked at Carrie, who drank out of her cup, and towards her bedroom door.

"You know," I suddenly said looking worriedly at her," you could sleep here. I could sleep on the floor and you can take the couch. At least you won't sleep in your cold bedroom."

Carrie looked thoughtfully at me.

"I guess that's true. This is the warmest room in the cabin," she answered back. "Are you sure you don't mind?" I shook my head.

"Well, okay," she said as the corners of her mouth started to curve upwards," but I sleep on the floor and you take the couch. I won't argue this with you."

I gave her a small glare and sighed. "Fine then."

Secretly, I eyed her as she walked towards her room to get more blankets and pillows. The wheels in my head started spinning again and the more I overthought, the more out of control the wheels spun. I was in close territory with Carrie. Images of the redhead waking up in the middle of the night killing me in my sleep flashed through my head. She's way too close, I thought to myself, but perhaps this wasn't a bad thing. Maybe by this way, I could fully keep an eye on her.