The Alphabet of Love Ch. 20

"I need to tell him that we're getting married."

"You can't do that over the phone?"

"Derek -"

"No," he held up his hand. "Do what you need to do."

"It's over. I'm going to tell him that, face to face, so he understands."

"Has he been bothering you?" he wanted to know.

I shook my head. "No, today is the first time I've heard from him in a few weeks. You know he's working on the campaign."

"I only know what you tell me," he said, his tone almost accusatory.

"You can check my phone if you like," I said, and I knew my cheeks were reddening.

"I want to trust you. I have to trust you."

I put my hand on his. "You can. I've never lied to you or kept anything from you." Other than having slept with Trevor the last time I saw him, but that was before we were engaged, I thought guiltily.

He looked into my eyes for a few long moments. "I love you, Shiloh. I need to know that you're one hundred percent with me. Because if you're not, it won't work. I want a full time wife."

"I am! I will be! I love you, too, Derek," I squeezed his hand earnestly.

"I'm not fathering your children and having you go off with someone else."

My mouth dropped open.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I worry that you'll want someone younger in a few years."

"I'll be devoted to you," I assured him. "I love you. I want to be your wife, help you in your work, and become part of the clinic. I didn't spend all those years in medical school and residency just to get married and loll around the house. Even if it is a spectacular house."

He smiled a little. "I know that. The way you've been on at me about Adrienne, I know you're a fireball when it comes to patient care, and I like that."

"I'm not done with her," I assured him.

"Whoa, nelly," he teased me. "Give it some time. All right?"

I nodded. "I will. Listen, all I want to do is see Trevor and explain to him that we're getting married. I don't want him thinking that once the election is over and he's free to get a divorce I'm going to be waiting for him. Or that I'd be interested in anything on the side. Because I'm not."

"Well, he'll be in Seattle and you'll be here, so there's that," he pointed out.

"True," I said, and felt an inexplicable pang of sadness at the thought. I wanted to kick myself.

He seemed satisfied, though I knew he'd be much happier after I'd met with Trevor and he'd never have to hear the man's name again. I sent him upstairs after dinner to attend to his packing while I cleaned up the dinner dishes. I took a few moments to text Trevor. I let him know that I would see him tomorrow, to let me know where he would be around two. Our flight arrived at noon; Derek would go meet with the nephrology society and I could take a taxi across the river.

By the time I finished the dishes, Trevor had texted back. His Dad had a rally at one-thirty at a college auditorium. If I wanted to come to that, he'd get away and we could talk somewhere on the campus. I wondered how he'd explain to his wife if anyone he knew saw us talking together, but that was his problem.

I found Derek already in bed, reading glasses perched on his nose, sorting through a sheaf of papers. He looked over the glasses at me. "I know it's early, but we have to be at the airport by four-thirty."

"Ugh," I said, and finished the last of my packing. I put out my things for in the morning while he called to have a taxi take us to the airport.

He held me close when I got in bed with him, but refrained from starting any romance. I held his hand over my stomach and fell asleep far earlier than I normally would have, no doubt tired from my day's shopping and anticipation of our trip.