All Comments on 'The Alpha's Assassin Ch. 01'

It's dominant not dominate. Also should be in Non human.

Pretty good start so far, I can't wait to see what happens next... Don't take to long to update !!!

I like the premise of the story a lot! I hope you continue to write this story - just with the help of an editor perhaps. The errors made the story kind of hard to follow...

Nonhuman/Interracial Love whatever they both describe the story so its up to you what category it goes in! Good luck!

Of course he is masculine, reach and all...

And the women is only a "mine", dumb and need to understand she belong to him...

So many of the regular were themes..

And why is this in interacial and not non-human?

Either way 1 of 5 since there is no 0

Super wooden dialogue, wicked cheesy. I love interracial, non human as a fan of Violette Dubrinsky who has similar themes. It just seemed forced, lots of breaks and it seemed to be a not so subtle rip off without substance. So eh, it could be a good start just try to make the inner thoughts more natural.

I really like this story, I can't wait for more. I'm a big fan of romance with werewolves, so I hope you post again soon.

I can't believe comments on here, it's fiction and original with a non-traditional meeting of the two main characters. I don't see any other works by anyone, with your story. Keep doing you and give more.

Great Job!!

Ps. I really hope this story isn't first POV, the entire story.... Change up if you please. Just my input, LOL!! :)

More please!!

You should think of not writing in POV. Trust me your story would be so much better. Also wolves are extentions of a person. Not a separate personality. Don't name the wolf like it's another person. Advanced readers on this site don't care for things like that.

I actually don't mind the separate name for the wolf,but the one sentence "paragraph" was choppy,the POV sucked,and overall it just wasn't interesting. A editor might help you head off bad writing decisions.

Well what can you expect from an immature 18 year old who will most likely not finish the story here but elsewhere like her first story 2 years ago. I don't get how this 'writer' thinks they have to break up paragraphs this way. One sentence does not make a paragraph!

One example:

'"Wait. Mr. Eastwood, as in Bradley Eastwood President of Corp industries?"

Chris questioned in an amused tone.'

This is how it should read:

'"Wait. Mr. Eastwood, as in Bradley Eastwood President of Corp industries?" Chris questioned in an amused tone.'

Or maybe she's breaking it up that way to make it seem longer than it is? 1*

Omg this story is on wattpad, I would know cause it's in my library

It's my story me and my friend Are writing ... I just decided to post it on here. Follow me on wattpad @officialmorgani

What's with the capital letters EVERYWHERE? 99% of the time they aren't needed where you have them.