The Amazing Randy Gets Arrested

A Successful Gig

The Amazing Randy's stay in Savannah was nearing its end. The four-night gig, his first ever in Georgia, had been very successful so far. Despite the fact that he had never performed at Mickey's, he had played to a packed house each night. Tonight was no different. The audience had responded pretty much as all of his audiences did. They laughed and laughed hard.

"The Amazing Randy" was the stage name of Randy Baumgardner, "The World's Greatest Stage Hypnotist." Randy had been touring the country with his comedy hypnotism act for a dozen or so years, playing supper and comedy clubs, but small to medium sized venues only. The tour was anchored by a dozen or more clubs scattered across the country from Boston, to Indianapolis, to Albuquerque, to Portland, Oregon. He worked these venues every year. The tour always started at Harry's in Portland and always ended at Boston's Laugh Inn. Other than that, Randy, who was his own tour manager and booking agent, shifted things around. Different cities, different dates and different lengths of stays enabled the hypnotist comedian to tour the nation the way he wanted and to see new places.

Randy's preferred mode of travel was rental car. He stayed in motels and small hotels and was perfectly happy to do so. The hypnotist was in his early thirties, independently wealthy, and single, his life one giant road trip. Had he wished to do so, Randy could have flown first class and stayed at the best hotels, but he didn't want to do that for two reasons.

First, he genuinely liked his "ground" approach to the tour. He wanted to meet people. He wanted to see the country up close and not from five miles up. He liked his alone time. Randy liked having the option to stray from the path and built extra travel time into most legs of the journey so he could do just that.

More importantly, Randy, for lack of a better way to put it, eschewed ostentation and kept to the back roads of show business out of pure self-preservation. "The World's Greatest Stage Hypnotist" had something to hide, something astounding.

Simply put, his act wasn't an act. The Amazing Randy possessed actual hypnotic abilities unlike any the world had ever known. Once under his control, Randy could make anyone do anything he chose, not only on stage but anytime he chose and whether they liked it or not. He could read minds, uncovering deeply held secrets and desires or leave post-hypnotic suggestions which, so far as he could tell, had no expiration date unless he set that date himself. To gain control all he had to do was to make simple skin-to-skin contact with his target. That was it. A momentary touch and they were his to command.

Not only had Randy based his comedy act on his uncanny hypnotic ability, but hypnotism was central to his social life as well. Although he was friendly and could be charming, the fact that he was rarely in a town for more than a week made serious relationships with women problematical for Randy. His love life had consisted of one-night stands for the dozen or so years since he had taken his act on the road.

Randy met attractive women every night on stage. Crowds liked beautiful women as subjects in his act, "contestants" he called them. Mostly he preferred not to engage these women socially, preferring instead to hunt for companionship at small, out of the way bars a town or two away, or at least on the far side of town.

Encounter at The Belle

Mickey's had been successful, but with the gig finished, Randy had decided to try his luck at a road house in Rincon, just outside the city on Route 21. It was just after eleven o'clock when he walked into The Southern Belle. Most of the patrons were young men dressed in casual clothing. There were not many women in the bar, so few in fact that Randy considered leaving to try his luck elsewhere when he noticed an attractive twenty-something brunette in a simple navy pants suit over a white linen blouse sitting alone at the bar. Randy, dressed in an ordinary dress shirt and chino pants walked up to the bar and said "Do you mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all," she said smiling.

Randy ordered a scotch and water over ice and struck up a conversation with the attractive young woman. After a few minutes of small talk, Randy offered to buy the woman, whose name was Robin, a drink. She accepted and then excused herself to the ladies room. When she returned, Randy noticed that she had unbuttoned the second button on her blouse, a subtle, but significant change in her outfit. It was Randy's experience that women who unbuttoned their blouse buttons did so for pretty much only one reason. They wanted their male companions to look.

As they talked, Robin, who had a soft sweet southern accent, politely inquired as to whether or not Randy was "from around these parts." Randy smiled and said "What do you think, Robin?"

She laughed and said, "I didn't think so... but it's a nice way to get you to tell me about yourself."

"I'd be happy to tell you anything you want to know."

"OK," she said. "What brings you to Georgia?"

"I was in Savannah working at a supper club."

"Really? Where?"

"I was at Mickey's. Ever been there?"

"Sure." I saw Jerry Seinfeld there last month. He was funny."

"So what were you doing at Mickey's?"

"Guess."

"I don't know."

"C'mon, Robin, at least take a shot."

"OK... tending bar."

"Nope."

"I give up."

"I was performing."

"On stage?"

"No, surgery in the kitchen." He chuckled. "Robin, I'm a professional comedian. I just finished four nights at Mickey's."

"You do stand-up?"

"Well, not exactly," said Randy, genuinely pleased with his drinking partner's interest and in the direction the conversation was going. "I do a comedy hypnotism show."

"You're putting me on."

"Not at all."

"Wow. You actually hypnotize people?"

"It wouldn't be much of a show if I didn't."

"You better not be lying to me, Randy."

"I'm not."

"Tell me a joke."

"That's not how it works."

"How does it work, then?"

"Well, my stage name is "The Amazing Randy."

"Clever," she said, holding back a laugh.

"We considered 'The Amazing Joseph' but discarded it."

Robin laughed out loud. "Who's 'we'?"

"Actually, it was my parents."

Robin, who clearly was enjoying their small talk, said "If this isn't true, it's the best pick-up line I've ever heard."

"Who says I'm trying to pick you up?"

"Aren't you?"

"Well..." said Randy, "would that be so bad?"

"I'm still working on that one. Usually, by this time a guy would offer to buy me a second drink."

"Would you like another drink, Robin?"

"I thought you'd never ask." They both laughed as Randy signaled to the bartender to refresh the cute brunette's vodka and tonic. Things were going well and Randy had yet to probe Robin's mind. He was having fun without it and so was Robin. "I'm definitely interested in your story."

Randy told her about his parents' 'carny' history, his own experience as a carnival performer, and his transition to the club circuit. He described his act, including the kinds of "contestants" he brought to the stage and why, stressing that the better looking the contestant was, whether male or female, the racier the humor was.

Randy said, "What about you, Robin? What's your story?"

"You're the hypnotist. You tell me."

"Unless I put you under, Robin, I'd only be guessing,"

"Well, there's no time like the present, take out your pocket watch."

"Whoa there, Robin. Slow down."

"I knew it," she said, clearly disappointed.

"Knew what?" asked the World's Greatest Stage Hypnotist.

"I knew you were feeding me a line, Randy. What do you really do?"

It's All About Trust

"Robin, I'm not surprised that a beautiful woman like you would be skeptical about my story. I imagine that you've been lied-to many times, probably as you sat in this very chair." He hesitated. "I haven't lied to you once since I sat down. All I wanted to say was that being hypnotized on stage in front of a few hundred people is one thing. Being hypnotized alone in a bar is something altogether different. You need to be sure that you trust me, because I'm the real deal, Robin."

"I think I'm safe enough. You say you're a mind-reader. OK, I'm thinking something. You tell me what it is and tonight might actually have legs."

"As you wish. Give me your hand, Robin."

"Randy swiveled his barstool and took Robin's hand, all the while looking into her hazel eyes. In five seconds, he released her hand and said "Robin, you will obey my commands. Nod if you understand."

Robin nodded her head that she understood.

"No matter what I say, you will not draw attention to us. You will always tell me the truth. That's all for now."

"Well, what am I thinking?" she asked.

"In no particular order..." said Randy, slipping into his stage persona and rubbing his chin while he gazed towards the ceiling as if straining to order his thoughts. Then, he lowered his gaze until he stared directly into Robin's beautiful eyes. "Robin, you're not worried because you're a lieutenant in the Georgia Bureau of Investigation. You feel safe because almost every person in this bar, men and women alike, are cops. The Belle is a cop's bar."

Robin's mouth dropped wide open in astonishment.

"You also feel safe because you carry a fully-loaded nine-millimeter pistol in a shoulder holster under your left arm."

"You're sitting here alone because you're an officer and it would not do for you to fraternize with the ranks. When I sat down next to you, you immediately sized me up as a potential lover. You think I'm 'kinda cute' but are, no, were disappointed that I was lying to you. I believe your exact thoughts were that I was another 'full of shit' Yankee."

Robin inhaled deeply and her eyes went wide.

"Now that I've shown you my hand, so to speak, you're not so self-assured. You feel that you may very well be in danger and are about to ask me to leave you alone."

"Before you do, please allow me to finish. You're a detective, Robin, badge number 7855. You're down here conducting an investigation related to smuggling. I'm not a smuggler. You need to understand, Robin, that if I wanted to harm you, which I do not, not in the slightest, I could command you to pull your weapon and blow your brains out twenty minutes after I left the bar just as easily as I command you now to put your hand into your pocket."

Immediately, Robin's free hand went into her pocket.

"In a moment or two I'm going to release you from control with the exception of my prohibition of drawing attention to us. Then you have a choice to make, Robin, and I want you to understand that it's your decision alone and that I will not interfere in that decision. You can choose to stop our interaction altogether, at which point I will pay our tab and leave. When I do, you will forget that I was ever here or that we have ever spoken. Above all, you will remember nothing about my abilities or my name."

You can also choose to continue the evening in any way you want. That can be another drink and conversation or... whatever you would like. I will not hypnotize you any further unless you ask me to. You will be under no hypnotic influence at all."

"No matter what you decide, do so in the full and certain knowledge that you are not now, nor will you ever be in any danger whatsoever when you are with me. You can take your hand out of your pocket now if you wish."

"I release you, Robin."

"Oh my God, Randy," said the startled detective. "I don't know what to say."

"On the surface, it seems simple enough. 'Please leave' or 'please stay' ought to do the trick."

"Give me a second or two, Randy. This is a bit of a shock."

"I imagine it is, Robin, but all successful encounters between strangers in bars are based on trust. Ours is no different. Even though I know that you are an armed police officer, I trust that you will neither shoot nor arrest me, unless it's illegal to tell the truth to a beautiful woman in a bar in the state of Georgia."

"The cop in me says 'say goodbye' but the woman in me says 'take a chance'."

"Just tell me the truth, Robin. It's easy. I do it all the time. What do you want? How about this? What did you want before you knew about my abilities?"

"I wanted to talk to you and maybe go back to my motel later to fool around. Honestly? Now I still want the same thing, but only more so. Please stay. If I change my mind later on will that be a problem?"

Randy smiled. "Robin, I was taught at a very young age that it's always a woman's prerogative to change her mind. I still operate on that principle. I will never force you to do anything you don't want to do. I'm pretty sure that that sort of thing is illegal in Georgia. I'm not a rapist, Robin, but I can't prove that to you. Nobody can."

"You're right. Randy, please order me another drink. I need to go to the little girls' room. We can talk more when I get back, OK?"

"I'll be waiting. Remember, you may not discuss me with anyone, Robin."

Once she had closed the door to the toilet stall, Robin washed her hands at the sink and stared into the mirror. "Well, Robin," she said quietly to her mirror self, "what do we do now?"

She adjusted her outfit and re-applied her lipstick and then ran a small hairbrush she kept in her handbag through her hair. Her hair was short, well off her shoulders, but it framed her pretty face well and even drew attention to her hazel eyes, which were pale, almost grey, uniquely unusual.

Normally, she thought, this would have been a "no brainer." Randy was cute, funny, attentive and considerate, but the hypnotism thing was freaking her out. What would he do if they were alone?

Robin thought about what she had already experienced of Randy's hypnotic abilities. He'd read her mind. He knew about her job. She wondered what else he knew about her, her most private thoughts. Did he know that she had been fantasizing about making love to him? Did he know how hard she worked to keep the sexual part of her personality suppressed?"

She shook her head once more as if trying to re-order her thoughts and then reached down and unbuttoned a third button on her blouse. Her cleavage, formerly hidden from sight by the starched white blouse was now visible. She'd made up her mind.

When she returned to the bar, Robin smiled and took her newly-refreshed drink from the stage hypnotist as he stood and twirled her barstool to make it easier for her to sit. Randy, who used stage make-up before every performance, immediately noticed Robin's refreshed lipstick. It was a good sign. He also noticed that she had opened another button on her blouse. That was an even better sign.

"You wanted to talk some more," he said to the attractive Lieutenant of Detectives. Tell me what's on your mind, Robin, but only if you want to."

"It's the hypnotism thing, Randy," she said. "It's kind of scary."

"As scary as, say, a loaded nine-millimeter pistol?" he asked. Robin smiled.

"Touché."

"How about I lay my cards on the bar as a sign of good faith? Robin, we both came to The Belle looking for the same thing, a night's companionship. Until you caught my eye, I was considering leaving, but your obvious beauty made me join you at the bar. I'm glad I did."

"I don't always reveal myself when I hook-up with women because when I do, my abilities generally have the same effect, the one you're experiencing right now. Why not look at it from a different perspective? Instead of worrying what I'll do to you, why not consider what we could do together? That's what I'm doing."

"Robin, I travel all over the country for my work. My love life is pretty much limited to one-night stands and has been for a dozen years. That's what I'm offering you, a one-night stand, but it can be unlike any encounter you have ever had or will ever have again."

"When I probed your mind earlier to get all the cop stuff, I purposefully limited my intrusion to two things: basic information and mental health. I look for things like mental illness, profound unhappiness, vulnerability from some traumatic event, anything that might come back to bite. I look for relationship status. I have never slept with a married woman. I steer clear of women in long-term relationships. You are neither married nor do you have a steady boyfriend. In short, you are not a threat to me.

"I purposefully avoided going deeper, not because it's wrong to do so, but because I prefer that you be the one to reveal your desires to me. Then, like any good lover, I will work to fulfil them, if you want me to. It's more fun for me that way."

Robin reached for her drink, downed what was left of it and left it on the bar. Staring directly into Randy's eyes, she reached down and squeezed the inside of his thigh. "Let's go to my place."

You Have the Right...

Randy paid the bill and left a solid tip. After following Robin's lead, they ended up at a local motel, not unlike the one Randy had stayed in back in Savannah. As they stood outside room 117, Robin fished inside her pocketbook for her keys. Once she'd found them and unlocked the door, she turned to the hypnotist. "How long are we gonna wait?"

Randy answered by putting his arms around the detective and drawing her to him as he kissed her tenderly. She returned his kiss in kind and twirled back around to open the door. "Come in."

Once inside, Robin removed her suitcoat, took the magazine out of her pistol, cleared the chamber and hung her gun on the same hanger. She turned to face Randy who stood by silently as she performed her evening ritual and said, "Well, Randy, I'm pretty much defenseless."

"You always were, Robin. Good thing that you've never needed it." Once again, he reached for the slim brunette and kissed her. Gently placing one hand around her slim waist and the other behind her. Randy tilted her head to give him a better angle to kiss her again. Slowly he stepped behind her and placed his hands on her slim shoulders. He leaned in to kiss her lightly on her neck.

Robin reached up and began the process of unfastening the three remaining blouse buttons while Randy nuzzled her neck softly and affectionately. When she finished, she slowly drew the blouse off her shoulders and let it fall to the ground. Standing there in a lace bra which concealed her breasts while offering a peek of soft white flesh, she reached to unbutton Randy's shirt and then drew it and his undershirt over his shoulders. The Amazing Randy was more or less physically fit with well-defined, if not imposing musculature.

Robin reached behind her back and undid the clasp to her bra. It fell to the floor, uncovering her breasts which were smallish, but firm and dark-nippled. She drew his head down until he could kiss the soft tit skin. "Robin," he said, "you are even more beautiful than I imagined you would be. The taste of your flesh is intoxicating; your beauty is transcendent."

"Robin, tell me your fantasy. I can make it as real as you want. Will you share it with me?"

"Kiss me first, lover," she whispered. "Make me want to tell you."

Randy gently rolled the brunette beauty onto her back and kissed her breasts, taking one nipple first and then the other into his mouth as he gently sucked and tongued them until they were turgid and engorged. His hands reached to cup them as he kneaded her perfect breasts.

"I'm ready."

"Good," he said as he continued to play with her tits.

"I have fantasies about arresting a man and then, once he's in handcuffs, using him sexually. There," she confessed, "I've said it."

"Feels better now that it's out, doesn't it? You can arrest me, Robin. It'll be a first for me. I've never been on the wrong side of the law. How bad a man do you want me to be?"