All Comments on 'The Amazon's Pledge Ch. 01'

Good writing, a good set up for a story, which has potential to lead into something. It would be better if you added some descriptions and details though, to paint a better picture in the readers mind. Good start though!

This looks to be a great tale. Please continue, looking forward to more

I love fantasy worlds. This one looks like an interesting story. Please keep it going.

I am in love with your writing.

Please continue this story.

Can't wait for the next chapter

Just watched Wonder Woman the other day...this story definitely has my attention!!

A good start. Think you need a bit more detail without clogging sentences with it.

For example what was the weather like. In sailing ships this is important if only as an update. Eg: The ship made good time as strong following winds made the sails crack and the masts groan. But not a half page of detail.

The Lit site encourages too many people with a good story to clutter it with fucking. Take your time. Tease it out. Finally take a pointer from an author name Tefler and consider a good cliff hanger now and again for some chapters.

In this case some dark figure in black shrouded in mist watches them them come ashore when they dock at night. Add some mystery and surprise!

I cant help but see the story have some similarities with wheel of time series, that I wanted to point out.

Your descriptions are vague around characters, you tell us the amazons are athletic and beatiful and nothing about the sorcerer save he is horny. You can tell how tall they are compared to our sorcerer like telling us "One of the amazons is looking to me on the eye level while kneeling next to my chair." or "I reached up and grab her upper arm to get her attention or tried to, the thing was thick as my leg and solid as stone. She seems to be as tense as a spring and ready to discharge at the two man that still glaring at her" or someting appropriate to your characters. If you can remind readers with simple comparisons now and than it would make strong impressions memorable characters.

Thanks, this is awesome.

Great start!