The American Reporter Pt. 05

"A bit of light entertainment?"

"I would not call it light reading," Helga closed the book, "I find it hard reading. I think Ingrid is upstairs in the sewing room."

"Probably making a new dress," Eva sat down opposite her, "my teacher says soon I will be able to think in Russian. Sasha is a very interesting man, did you know he fought in the civil war in the White Army?"

"No," she replied, "I did not. You like Sasha?"

"I do but I also like his sister," she stretched out her legs and contemplated the bookshelf in front of her, "perhaps I will sleep with both of them."

Helga winced and Eva giggled.

"I am sorry, I should not have said that. My brother would have me reading that book and then have me lying on the couch confessing my deepest fantasies."

Helga looked briefly away, trying to suppress what was bubbling underneath but it was like trying to hold back the tide and when the dam burst it was with a loud exhaled breath.

"I know what it is like to be with a woman."

"You said so the other day," Eva eyed her, "who was she?"

"A woman back in Vienna," she leaned forward and picked up Helga's cigarette case.

Helga stared at her as Eva continued.

"It was after I broke up with my husband, Albert, he was with his lover. I blamed myself for not being a good enough wife, it is the eternal shame of women that when our men leave it must be for good reason. Silke was from Bavaria, she came to Austria after the Nazis came to power in Germany because her family were all Communists but after the Anschluss she decided to move to Switzerland. I put her up in the house because she needed to be off the streets while Himmler's thugs were rounding up Communists," she propped on her palm.

"Silke and I became lovers but it was not a deliberate thing. Neither of us were attracted to women but after it happened we both realised that fate had drawn us together for a reason. She lived with me for about three weeks until we thought it was safe enough for her to leave but in that time we loved a lifetime," she shifted in her seat.

"Before Silke, I had read romantic novels but thought them silly but after Silke I knew that it was possible to feel so totally in love with another person that the two became one, we could even finish each other's sentences."

"What happened to Silke?"

"She went to Switzerland and I came to Alexandria but she begged me to travel with her. I told her that one person stood a better chance of crossing the border than two and as God is my witness I did intend to follow her in time but then Josef sent for me and I came to Egypt. At the time I had this idea that she might leave Switzerland and come to Egypt but then she wrote and told me that she wanted to stay in Switzerland."

Eva leaned over to deposit ash into the ashtray.

"But even though I could move to Switzerland there is still a part of me that thinks it is wrong, I am a Christian and my faith forbids love between women. It was something Silke thought I might grow out of but here I am, still in Alexandria."

"What if your idea about God is wrong?" Helga frowned, "the priest is the only intermediary between God and man but in the end he is only a man."

"That is the thing I keep coming back to," Eva fiddled with her watch, "what if everything we believe is wrong?"

"So, what is stopping you from visiting?"

"Fear," Eva finally confessed, "fear that I might not want to return to Alexandria, fear that my family will find out and refuse to have anything to do with me."

"But your family is divided already," Helga reminded her, "your other two brothers are Nazis, Josef is against the Nazis and does not believe in God. A few weeks ago even when Harriet and I were in the hotel room I too doubted I would leave Helmut for her but I have come to understand that these chances come by just once. If we do not reach out and take them they are gone and we live our lives in regret. You said the other day you admired my courage and yet I thought I was the coward for not staying with Helmut, in spite of his deception," she looked at the book in her hand.

"Men like Freud think they can analyse our deepest desires and predict our futures but like you and I they are but observers of the human condition. They are the modern priests perhaps, but ultimately I am the one who judges myself," she finished awkwardly as Eva exhaled suddenly.

"I have said something wrong?"

"No, not at all," Eva dabbed at her eyes, "it is what I have needed to hear. Will you do something for me?"

"Anything," Helga replied a moment later.

"Will you write to me when you reach New York? I should very much like to hear how you and Harriet get on together."

"I will," she replied, "on one condition."

"What?"

"That you at least write to Silke. Sometimes it is easy to express our thoughts on a page than in person to another. I do not know if you and Silke can come to an arrangement but it would be a shame to let something pass you by because you were too afraid," she paused for a moment before continuing, "and perhaps, if you like, you can write to me and tell me more about Silke."

"I accept the conditions," Eva swallowed.

In that moment Helga felt almost as close to Eva as she was to Harriet. The uneasiness of the last few days was lifting and in its place was a new confidence. In a few days she would step onto a ship bound for New York and leave her old life behind her, but here in Alexandria she would leave another part of her heart to a woman kept apart from her lover by geography and fear.

"I hope you and Silke can find a compromise," she finally managed, "maybe a third country?"

"One can never tell," she smiled.

***

There was no escaping the news that Friday morning even before Harriet arrived in her car. The overseas BBC news reader solemnly announced that German troops had crossed the Polish border on three fronts in retaliation for an alleged Polish attack on a German radio transmitter. The British and French governments had both condemned the violation of Polish sovereignty and sent messages to that effect to the Reich government. Josef received the news stoically as he prepared to leave for the hospital and then drove away looking thoughtful. By the time Harriet arrived with a copy of The Egyptian Mail, and the photographs Eva had taken the other night the womenfolk were already discussing the story and they devoured Harriet's paper with interest and a growing alarm. Of particular concern was the possibility that Britain might indeed honour its recent treaty with Poland and come to her aid, something Harriet thought an unlikely scenario.

"Poland is not France, but if the French government declares war on Germany then you might see a new war between Britain and Germany."

"You think so?" Ingrid raised her eyebrows, "so soon after the Great War?"

"I am not surprised at the stupidity of men," Harriet murmured.

Eva however was engrossed in the photographs and shortly afterwards retreated to the sitting room at the rear of the house to start a new drawing. The others however remained together, the invasion of Poland remained the topic of conversation that day and by the time Josef returned from the hospital at night it was looking more likely that Britain would declare war on Germany, but there was still hope that something could be wrested from the German government.

"Chamberlain is a man of peace," Josef stated, "surely he will find some way of averting war."

Harriet hoped so too but doubted Hitler would stop until all of Poland was under German control and relayed the news that the German embassy was burning papers.

"Considering the fact they do not need to light fires at this time of year I saw an awful lot of smoke coming from the chimneys."

However despite the sombre news, Helga was relieved to discover that Helmut had left for the Negev with John Cole aka John Kohl. He was probably already at the dig and so would be out of contact with the embassy. She had brought as many of Helga's clothes as she could carry without alerting the household staff. The clothes were a reminder that this was a permanent separation from the life she had known and as she flipped through the photo albums later that night, Helga felt a pang of guilt mingled with pleasure. So many memories and this was all she had to remind herself that at one stage she had lived in a Germany that was not under the rule of the Nazis.

The next day she awoke hoping for better news but there was still none from London, but what had taken the world by surprise was the speed of the German advance and already they were calling it a lightning war. That morning a news report filed by Clare Hollingworth for The Daily Telegraph added meat to the bones and Harriet was especially interested, because it was she who had scooped the news of the German panzers massed on the Polish border a few days beforehand.

"She drove past Hessian sheets put up to shield the tanks from people driving past when a sheet blew away, now she is in Poland," her eyes shifted.

"Now that is a scoop I dream about."

"What of Helmut?" Helga asked, "what if he returns from the Negev? He must have heard."

"Perhaps we should move our things onto the ship today," Harriet glanced at her, "our things are already packed, and we can stay here until the day the ship sails."

"Monday morning."

"Unless you want to go onboard."

"We will stay here," she decided, "but you are right, our things should be on board today."

The plan went off without a hitch, Harriet accompanied two boys down to the port to load the luggage onto the ship and when she returned home it was via a circuitous route because she thought she'd been followed.

"Two men and a woman," she took off her sunglasses, "they were asking questions down at the port but I did not stop too long, but they saw how much luggage we were offloading and I could not take a chance."

"Were they German?"

"They were in civilian clothes," she replied, "but I was too far away to hear them."

The rest of that day slipped by without anything untoward happening and yet if Helga could go back in time she would remember that day a little more clearly because it was the last day of peace for the following day the overseas BBC news broadcast played the announcement by Neville Chamberlain. Helga and Harriet were outside when the news came on but Josef came out to tell them that Britain had declared war on Germany. Helga remembered laughing because she didn't know how else to respond but the following hour she too sat in the lounge room to hear the crackling voice of Neville Chamberlain.

"This morning the British Ambassador in Berlin handed the German Government a final Note stating that, unless we heard from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared at once to withdraw their troops from Poland, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this country is at war with Germany."

"He sounds old," Harriet commented after the speech was over.

Helga looked across at Josef who had already heard it, the older man was standing at the window with his pipe in his hand staring out at a blue sky.

"There should be clouds," he spoke suddenly, "there should be clouds," he turned and stared at Helga, "I never thought he would do it."

"I don't think he wanted to do it," Helga replied.

Josef merely nodded as he moved towards the radio set.

"Tomorrow you will set sail for America, and the day after perhaps we will follow."

"Josef," Ingrid looked up in alarm, "you cannot be serious."

"We are Austrians in a British protectorate, how long before we are asked to leave?"

"But you are against the Nazis," Harriet replied.

"Even so, will they believe that?"

It was the topic of conversation at the dinner table with arguments for and against but no absolute resolution. It continued in the bedroom as Harriet and Helga prepared for bed, neither of them were in the mood for lovemaking and so were still awake reading in bed when Eva knocked at the door. Harriet glanced up as Helga told her to come in, Eva entered a few moments later with an envelope in one hand and a rolled up sheet of paper in her other hand.

"You are not?" Eva stopped as she saw them both in bed.

"We are not in the mood," Helga reassured her.

Eva smiled nervously and held the envelope out as if desperate to be rid of it.

"Will you please post this when the ship docks in Greece?"

She fished some money out of her pocket, "I have money for stamps."

"This is for Silke?" Helga scanned the address.

"Ja," she held the money out, "if it costs money then I will send it to you."

"Why do you not keep your money," Harriet smiled as she too read the letter, "buy flowers or a trinket for Silke instead."

Eva opened her mouth in protest but Helga silenced her with a look and held out her hand for the other sheet of paper. Eva handed it over and waited as Helga unrolled it. The drawing was a very good likeness of Harriet and Helga sitting together on the couch. Helga had one hand resting on Harriet's.

"You have improved in the last few days," Helga murmured, "the proportions are much better," she showed Harriet.

"It was my fifth attempt," Eva blushed, "it took me all weekend but I wanted to finish it before you went away, it is my going away present."

Helga felt the lump in her throat and Harriet glanced up at Eva and then smiled.

"Thank you, we will frame it when we get to New York, but do not destroy the earlier attempts, it is good to look back on past mistakes to see how far we have come."

"Perhaps I will come to visit you one day," Eva finally spoke up.

"We would love to have you stay, Silke as well," Harriet smiled, "and if you should decide to stay longer there are always apartments needing good tenants, and the ship also docks at Marseilles as well. I will post it there, at least it will get there quicker. The Greek postal service is a little slow even at the best of times."

"Thank you for listening to me," Eva bowed her head to Helga, "before you came I thought I was the only one who felt like this."

"It was my pleasure," she smiled, "and I expect more drawings in the mail, they too will be hanging on the wall when you come to visit us in New York."

Eva's cheeks flushed as she smiled and bowed her head once more and then she was exiting the room leaving Helga holding the letter.

"You see, my dear your courage has inspired someone else," Harriet rolled onto her side, "I am in awe of you."

***

The sky was a brilliant blue, studded with puffy white clouds when the ship set sail from Alexandria and although Helga had feared Helmut might send someone to intercept her, in the end she could not see his face anywhere in the crowd. Neither could she spot any of the ubiquitous Gestapo in the crowd on the quay. Out in the distance she could see where the town ended and the desert began and her heart soared within her. Somewhere out there Helmut was no doubt staring at the artefacts and realising that he'd been conned or perhaps he was on his way back to Cairo already, now that the German embassy was closing. Either way, by the time he got back she would in Greece or maybe on her way to Marseilles. No doubt he would call Josef and the doctor would relate the sad story of a woman who just packed her things and took a ship to Australia. It was a carefully prepared story and to back it up she'd written a final letter to Helmut which would be passed onto Helmut when he eventually did drive up to Alexandria.

My Dear Helmut,

My time away from you has given me time to reflect on life and in particular our marriage and I have come to the inescapable conclusion that this marriage was a total sham. We have made many mistakes you and I, but my biggest mistake was in marrying you and your biggest mistake was agreeing to spy on me. To compound your mistake you let me know the combination to your safe. Did you think I would not find the key to the locked drawer? I cannot forgive your betrayal and so I have decided to leave you.

Do not think to blame Josef for he at least tried to talk me out of it. I hope your Thousand Year Reich is all you hoped for but I will not set foot in a country that blames an entire race for the defeat of the last war. Do not try to follow me for you will find the door shut in your face, but I will allow you the freedom to find someone else to satisfy you and I will do the same. To that effect I will file for divorce once I am settled.

Goodbye,

Helga.

Helga stepped back from the railing and sank down onto a bench seat with a copy of The Egyptian Mail. The headlines couldn't be more dramatic. Britain and France were now at war with Germany and Britain had begun to mobilise its forces to apparently go to the aid of the Poles although there was precious little information on when they would leave Britain. The story was continued on another page and then there were stories of streams of refugees fleeing the advancing German army and more stories of heroic but futile resistance. It was beyond belief that the Polish cavalry thought they could turn back armoured Panzer columns.

Helga looked up at Harriet's back, her lover had donned a white trouser suit for the departure and as if sensing her attention, Harriet glanced over her shoulder and raised her sunglasses slightly. Helga felt a rush of emotion as she smiled at her and then inclined her head for her to come to the rail. Helga rose slowly and joined her at the rail and Harriet nudged her and pointed to a woman in a bright red dress, a marked contrast to the white, black, and tan worn by the cheering crowds on the quay. She homed in on the woman and her heart leapt as she made out Eva. She raised her hand in farewell and Eva noticed a few seconds later as she scanned the ship for her friend and then she too raised her hand to wave goodbye, for now.

The End.