All Comments on 'The Ant Woman Ch. 01'

I'm looking forward to where this goes.

I quite like the setup and the setting. The prose is decent enough and descriptive. I liked the imagery you created. I also enjoyed how you set up Jiafahn's character by her refusing to go back home. I assume these elves are long lived?

On words of improvement, perhaps you should specify how the emperor* was deceived for ordinary readers. I have experience in reading Chinese novels so I know of the "provide a seemingly great plan with a sting in the tail" trope thats relatively common in that genre. Some people may get confused as what Jiafahn did wrong.

Also, maybe in the next part show why Jiafahn wants to embarrass or get her father killed? We are shown that she dislikes him, but not on the level that warrants murder.

Or perhaps I'm misreading this and Jiafahn genuinely wanted to improve things and her father is a moron by confessing he wasn't the author. Not sure why he wants to die, perhaps it's a stealth way of introducing his other daughter to the emperor since he knows the emperor is just and won't execute him out of hand for the deception.

So in the next part, we have Jiafahn being brought to the emperor (and maybe impressing him enough to make her a concubine**), and the new concubine in her father's household.

*lol the emperor doesn't even know what a kiss is. That really exemplifies the cultural differences.

**perhaps explain why the emperor would find her attractive after she spent the full two years in the countryside and was noted to be less pretty (maybe it was temporary and her appearance improved or left some lingering effects/damage that made her appear exotic). Though I don't think Jiafahn would enjoy such a fate since she disliked that same fate occurring to her half-sister. It could be good source of internal tension if the story does go that way. Perhaps she finds out in the imperial harem that her half-sister's death was not suicide and investigates.

One good example to read would be the free translation of "The Princess Wei Yang" on Novelupdates (I think it also got a less awesome TV adaptation). It's a story involving a lot of twisty plots and intrigue. For some reason this story reminds me a lot of that one. It's also full of great villains that the reader enjoys watching getting their comeuppance.

In that story, the main character Wei Yang concocts a seemingly great plan to a famine that her half-sister steals and sends to the emperor through their father. It works well at first... until it backfires and causes a ton of embarrassment. For some reason the plan in this story reminded me of that.

It also has a lot of interactions inside a noble household in an ancient Chinese setting. It could be relevant for the new concubine. Will the new woman be scheming or naive? Ambitious or docile? Unversed in the ways of a noble household, or experienced enough in noble affairs by being a very minor noble herself.

Wow, this response really blew up. Was not expecting to write this much, just a few words of encouragement lol.

Really look forward to the next part!

This chapter was much improved over your first ones.