All Comments on 'The Arrangement Ch. 01'

Very lovely! Well-written, intriguing. Please post more!

I agree. This seems like the start of a wonderfully written romantic story. Thanks for sharing it with us.

today i just met the scammers number 6 from a dating site that i joined since July this year. While i was deciding to get upset, give up or just simple mad, i found this story. Thanks for making it, i feel like you wrote it esp for me to keep on trusting in romance and relationship - ne that i joined since July this year. While i was deciding to get upset, give up or just simple mad, i found this story. Thanks for making it, i feel like you wrote it esp for me to keep on trusting in romance and relationship - n

This story has a great premise to build upon. The characters are believable and sympathetic. Yet, the story is set up to have all kinds of conflict to give the romance of these characters a good struggle! Good start, keep going !

What a fantastic premise. I was so disappointed at the end of the chapter.

My wife and I screamed with laughter at the idea of him having four daughters and a seal. Thanks for making my day.

Hooked

I am an ex Navy Seal myself and also a widower of a little over a year's time now. I can see my Mom doing something like this herself. It will be interesting to see how you progress with the story.

a potentially powerful beginning. I hope it lives up to the promises.

and works out well for all concerned.

Actually amazingly good story. Very believable. Every body wants what is best for Daniel and idea girls. Pity no one recognizes who lives with the mistake and the Emma and humiliation.

Great start! 5.0*

Interesting idea, although I hate I'm getting her 11 years late.

You set it up well, in terms of his grandmother and Simone obviously arranging the meet through a dating site--and because the grandmother wrote all the emails and set this up--you painted his reactions exactly as a guy that's "been had" would have manifested. No one doubts his animosity and great reservation about the whole idea. You reveal Jill's feelings and thoughts about this, and in those senses, you balance both sides. We then get to see Simone's personality and how she reasoned this thing out; you created very sympathetic characters in Jill, Daniel and Simone to be sure.

While I'm glad you don't go into extensive detail about Jill's looks like some authors might (especially bust size and measurements, which always seem too much and not something all characters would easily id), you curiously exclude temporal markers for us to identify the year this story takes place...almost didn't realize that until right at the end. You do excel at everything else, though. 4

Definitely a new twist on the 'arranged marriage' concept, to me at least. Also great background and initial characterization. A great start to what promises to be a well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading the next chapter. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.