All Comments on 'The Arrangement Ch. 05'

Pacing, within a story is everything. Sometimes you need to sacrifice your hard earned character development and the odd little plot devices that make you happy as a writer in order to make the story flow, believable and even "readable". Otherwise, it tends to fall into a long and boring hole. Kinda like this one is in danger of becoming. You have good skills as a writer, but you need to learn that sometimes you push things too much. You push developement and character interaction too much, when you should really focus on the overall plot, story and the whole point of your little tale. Don't get so lost in being an 'artsy writer', that you lose the goal of this, to tell a story that has a meaning.

Poppycock. Good episode. Enjoyed it very much. The comments from anon are too harsh. Enjoyed this very much.

This story grabbed me from the beginning, and I've thoroughly enjoyed it - all of it. I'm enjoying the characters and the story line, and I find it's well crafted. So I have to respectfully disagree with the comments about pacing; this is a story of characters, and it's their internal and external struggles that drive it. The insecurities and the concerns of both Daniel and Jill, as well as the insights offered from Samuel and Simone, make It feel very real and believable, and I find it touching. Kudos, Tara! And thank you for sharing your work :)

loved it and enjoyed the pacing!

This CAN'T be the end of this story ... PLEASE say there will be more ... VERY SOON! You just can't leave this hanging here. Don't make me finish it for you. LOL!!

Yes, there is more. My intent had been to release the rest of this as my 1st full length indie novel in a few months. BUT as long as you guys/girls keep sending feedback (and Anon1...I take your point and considered it carefully...look for an essay on it in fact...and the rest of you give him/her a break...it was actually very polite constructive criticism), I am happy to continue using Lit as a forum for the rough drafts and to build readership for my paying stuff.

I do though have to slow the pace on this a bit...we are only half way (maybe a little less) through this story and I have two more pressing chapters in the Sergeant Mike's Miracle Tour series coming out indie on Labor Day and for Halloween.

Plus believe it or not...real romance sometimes happens to mature, single moms so right now I am a bit busy living an erotic romance that I swear to the goddess you would NOT believe if I got his permission to write it.

But as long as the comments, reads and feedback keep coming, I promise to try and post one chapter a month until this thing is done. Because even more than the money I write for you.

Tara

Wow, you have me breathing hard and fast, I'm so excited by Daniel and Jill together.

A few small errors, particularly with past tense (dragged, not drug - not sure if it's in this Chapter, but it is in the others and makes me wince), but I gave it a five. I love it, can't wait to keep reading.

And glad I came to it late. This way I get to read right through.

Simone knew what Dodd was...yet invited him to the wedding party.......what were the stars whispering in her year?

Both of them have a past. Some happy some painful. They need to give each other grace.

You chose well to have Simone reveal to Jill how much venom Rachel really spat at poor Daniel, as that broke down a major wall and allowed us to see them finally give in to their desires and join. Hopefully that helps them start crushing their unjustified doubts and fears. 5