The Asshole

"OK, Peter," she answered in a sing-song voice.

"Listen, June; I think that I'm falling in love with you. Plus, I know that Joe is hitting you, and I'm about to kill him. So, I was hoping that you'd move in with me."

There was a pause; the Surly Seven had looks of shock on their faces, although accompanied by half-smiles. "Uh...I'd love to Peter, but how would it work?"

"The next time Joe is out of town I - and maybe some of your friends on Swallow Court - will help you move all of the stuff that you need into my house. Then you'll file for divorce from Joe."

"Are you just taking pity on me or do you think that we have a chance for a relationship?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"I think that the prospects for a long term relationship are great; but we won't know unless we give it a try," I replied in an up-beat voice.

"Joe's going out of town on Wednesday - can we do it then?"

"Talk to your girlfriends and see if one or more of them can help; sounds good to me. In the meantime, however, I think that we need to cool it; we'll more than make up for it Wednesday night."

"Ok...Yes...Thank you Peter," June sobbed and then terminated the call.

I put my phone down and stared at Alicia and then Carol, and made fleeting eye contact with the rest of them. "I'll need four things from you seven," I said. They were no longer the Surly Seven; they were the Smiley Seven.

"What?" Alicia asked.

"First, I need at least two of you to help June and I move on Wednesday during the day."

Four of them eagerly volunteered before all of the words had exited my mouth.

"Second, Carol, you need to have your husband get the biggest bad-ass divorce attorney in his firm to represent June for costs only," I said staring at her.

Carol got an evil smile on her face and said "Consider it done."

"Third, Alicia, I need you to have your husband to go have a talk with Joe on Thursday evening to inform him of the new arrangement and to make it plain that there is to be no trouble."

Alicia laughed. "He'd love nothing better; he hates that asshole."

"Fourth, I think that I really do have a good chance for a long term relationship with June. The only possible drawback that I can see is that she might be too subservient in view of her past with The Asshole. Therefore I need some of you to strengthen her backbone so that she knows that if she and I are to have a relationship it is to be as equals,"

All seven of them laughed as phrases like "not an issue," "no problem," "easy as pie," were thrown out.

As we were all buzzing, Susan's cell phone rang. When she looked at the caller ID it said "June."

"It's June," she shrieked. "Keep it quiet."

"Hi June," Susan answered.

"Wait...slow down...I can't understand you...listen, Alicia and some of our other friends from Swallow Court are with me; do you mind if I put it on speaker?" Susan asked with a big grin on her face.

Susan did put in on speaker.

June's sentences were disjointed, she vacillated between crying and laughing, but she got her message across. She was madly in love with me, I had asked her to live with me because I thought that I was falling in love with her too, and she was divorcing Joe and needed help in moving out and advice on how to make sure that I fell in love with her.

Several of the Smiley Seven started crying too. Susan concluded the call by telling June to come over to Susan's house in a half hour.

All seven women quickly got ready to leave. Every one of them gave me a quick hug and peck on the lips and expressed how happy they were. Alicia was last. After almost crushing me with her hug she didn't just give me a little peck; she gave me a smoking hot kiss. I couldn't help it; it caused my little friend to instantly come to attention. She noticed it and grinned. "Save it for June," she snickered as she swiftly ran her hand over my flagpole, "and do right by her, or else!"

I smiled; "Got it General," I replied. She swatted my ass as she left, making me wish that I could get June into bed right away.

****************

Things worked out better than I thought that they would, but since all eight other couples - including a married gay guy couple - on the block were on board I guess that I should have been more optimistic.

June and I quickly bonded and within a week after she moved in I realized that I did love her - and told her so. The shark that Carol's husband had representing June took no shit, and had the divorce on the fast track. Joe virtually never showed his face outside.

Joe and June's house sold quickly, and when we met the new family we knew that they would fit right in on Swallow Court. The only fly in the ointment was that I suspected that The Asshole would eventually try something since he had been strangely quiet.

Seven months after June moved in with me her divorce was final and we decided to get married quickly - especially since she was six weeks pregnant. Although things were arranged hastily, we got lucky and got a great venue that would accommodate all the people that we wanted to invite - which, of course, included all of the residents of Swallow Court. I assumed that the reception was where The Asshole would try and pull something, so I arranged to have four off-duty policemen provide undercover security at the event.

That worked out too. Two of the cops intercepted The Asshole at a side entrance to the reception armed with a hand gun and a home-made pipe bomb. He was arrested without anyone else at the reception - except for me, who the cops told - knowing, and I was assured that he would be spending many years in prison.

June virtually glowed during the ceremony and at the reception. Not only did she look great, but Alicia et al had been working on her for months, and her only personality flaw - being too submissive - was a thing of the past.

***************

The reception was five years and two kids ago. I've never been happier or more sexually fulfilled. Every month I send The Asshole a post card to his prison cell thanking him - for being an asshole!