All Comments on 'The Azure Rider Ch. 05'

Dear Readers,

Thank you so much for reading this story.

I have a quick question: do you feel that I am packing too much information in small spaces? Do you want me to slow down a little bit in the subsequent chapters and introduce more descriptions of people/places? Or is the pacing fine so far? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

~Ash.

Hello author.

First of all thanks for sharing this story, I enjoy it very much. I feel like the pacing is fine.

Just one remark on consistancy. I feel like the girl that tried to kill the Azure Rider for apparently attempting to rape her, although it would mean her death, and killed two other people that tried to rape her, would probably have killed the prince that not only raped her but also beat her unconcious.

I understand that this is not how you want your story to progress, but I feel that her thought process should be explained. She should at least think about killing him (she is able to do it with her magic), maybe decide that it's not worth it, maybe because she wants to protect her dragon, because she wants to avoid the war or something. Here she thinks about letting her dragon kill him, but she does not think about killing him herself. It feels like she (or you) just conveniently forgot that she was a fierce woman that is able (and ready) to kill people with her magic (and without it for that matter) to defend herself.

I absolutely love this story. You have created such a fascinating world that more descriptions would be great! But it does not feel like too much info in a small space to me and the pacing seems perfectly fine.

Yay, great to have a new chapter again, and lots of plot development.

What a heart-breaking, powerful, awful moment with Orion handing Agatha over to the Vandan King and Prince.... I feel that he as the leader of the army and the dominant, capable person that he is, would more naturally turn to Agatha and say something solemn like "It has to be this way." rather than avoid eye contact and all communication with her. (this seemed like something a scared young boy or a child would do, not the character he is). and surely it would be better for Agatha to know that there was a deal that was struck, that meant their people wouldn't starve and for there to be peace etc, so there was a reason for his betrayal.

Great to see Agatha meet her dragon, and their telepathic connection is lovely.... looking to find out more about The Sacred Hand and how the chains on Elpis can be opened.... i was a little surprised that they had tried to open the manacles, if there was the threat that she would fly away (unless they were maybe looking to replace them with something else)....

Would be nice to see more on how Orion feels about losing Agatha, and how comfortable he is about her being given to another man to be sexually used...

Thanks for the story, it's great. enjoying it a lot. xxx

I’m loving this story. I think the pacing is good or it could be slowed down a tad. I prefer it not go too much faster, but that’s just my opinion and you should do whatever feels right (and I’m sure I’ll still enjoy it)!

Logged onto this site looking for some smut, stayed for the amazing story (but also the smut). Really enjoying it.

You are doing a great job. Keep it coming

Hi everyone,

I am really grateful to have readers as thoughtful and opinionated as you guys are. (100% mean it as a compliment). Your questions, criticism and encouragement help me improve my writing and deliver a more well-rounded story than originally intended.

I will try to answer all of your qualms in the next chapters.

Evonna, I think Orion avoids eye contact during the transfer because deep down he is ashamed of himself for handing her over instead of protecting her like he knows he should have. Yes, it is childish and uncharacteristic of him, but he could not help it at that moment.

I couldn't stop reading this last part. My heart sank when he turned her over. I felt for her. You have done a masterful job getting reader to connect with Characters. You are brilliant 👏 please keep on writing ✍ thank you

The story is engaging and I am enjoying it. However the inconsistency in the main character personality is so disappointing. On previous chapters a well informed all-powerful 170 year old general who cares about his soldiers and the people of his kingdom, now behaves as an insecure teenager, who does not seem to care about his troops anymore or have a plan or clear priorities.

Dear Anonymous,

You raise a good point here.

So, remember how Orion disappeared for 50 years after Penelope died? Even after Eustace returned to Lohenstraad, he stayed away, presumably escaping his life. No matter his accomplishments and experience, Orion has never been very adept at dealing with grief and has always abandoned his responsibilities and chosen the route of escape. Now, you can argue that a man is capable of personal growth over seventy years, and it is not expected that he should behave like that this time too. I intend to explore that facet of his character growth in the subsequent chapters.

'I chose you because you could always take the decisions that no one else was willing to, Orion.'

He was betrayed, his wife killed for doing a great service to the crown. He only spent a short time in Vandan, plenty of room to spend time with the elves… between immortals time flows differently and only returned to protect his son. I did not assume a shallow character for leaving, usually those who stay after being seriously mistreated don’t have a choice.

Ice trusts Orion, reuniting Thistle dragon and her rider should be his priority, no complaint there, but I expected a plan forward, not that childish attitude.

Maybe I should not expect the prophecy to explain the hatred towards witches either.

I will wait patiently (or try to, sorry). You are keeping us hooked, good job :)

Dear Anon,

I think the next chapter will address some of the qualms you presented ;)

I sincerely hope you'll keep reading.

~Ash

I am loving Agatha’s story and cant wait to see her evolve.

I love this story! However, one thing I really don't understand is why Orion didn't just explain the situation to Agatha from the start? This is a selfless woman who risked her life to help others and even offered herself to protect her friend from being raped. Had Agatha known that she could save countless lives and end a war by marrying the Prince in Vandan, I would think she would have willingly done it. Orion's deception and betrayal was unnecessary.