The Bachelorette Party Pt. 05

It was Monday again. The Lions were playing the Bears on Monday Night Football. Gloria and I had a standing date. Tonight's session promised to be a tad more vibrant than past sessions. I'd just come off an easy night.

The previous Friday Gloria had scheduled me for a small batch white woman bachelorette party. The bride was a gorgeous blonde, some sorority queen named Shelly something or other. Shelly showed up at the club with her debutante crew in tow. All of them looked like they could suck a golf ball through a garden hose, to coin a phrase. None of them looked to be of a mind to demonstrate this prowess in public.

The two guys ahead of me got up and performed well. One of them was a faggot. He got up and pranced about so enthusiastically you might have sworn him a pussy fiend. He was not. He had a nice dick, though. I imagine that if the crowd had been all male, he might have gotten several sucks in. This mutherfucker didn't get a single blowjob. He left me with an un-popped crowd. The debs weren't ready for the Closer.

So I get out there and I'm dancing in front of a cold crowd. Of course, when I pulled out my cock they warmed up considerably. Even the faggot came out to bat his eyes lustfully.

I made my rounds from woman to woman. Each of them reached for it. None of them closed on it. They were all afraid to be first. This is typical of a small batch white woman crowd.

I got to the bride and my dick was still dry. She was a little embarrassed for me, after all, these were her GURLZ. Shelly tipped down and took a tepid lick before drawing back. Brave, but still not up to snuff. I needed to get BLOWN. Seeing that I wasn't backing down from my expected tonsil visit, she reached forward to wrap my pud in maw. Her friends screamed, but she immediately pulled back, as if my dick tasted badly.

Excuse me? Is dick supposed to taste like cherry pie?

Sensing my disdain, Shelly tipped forward again and gave me a half-ass guzzle before drawing back again. I wanted to say "Bitch! Get in there and wet me up!! You won't see another dick like this for the remainder of your days!!"

But I didn't. Shelly had paid $2500 for this appearance. When the club closed, I was GONE. Yessir, I was watching the clock.

Finally, two of Shelly's sorors stepped forward to slob my knob in Shelly's stead. Their friends seemed anxious to follow suit. However, 4 a.m. came and the show concluded. I didn't nut. It was an easy night.

This didn't bode well for Gloria. Any man that can fuck through a full football game and goes un-nutted for a week is going to have something dangerous in store the next time his dick encounters pussy.

Gloria met me at the door to perform her standard Monday Night Football penile inspection. She slipped the tip of her tongue into my urethra and sampled it like a discriminating French chef. I actually enjoyed this part. Her tongue was better than a Q-tip. Tonight, Gloria seemed unduly concerned.

"...the FUCK!!!" she opened. "I thought you said it was a small batch party?!!"

Now I was concerned.

"It WAS small batch. White women! What are you talking about?"

"This dick tastes like ASS."

Now I was offended.

"If my dick tastes like ASS, it's YOUR ass. Nobody else's"

"No, this isn't MY ass. Are you SURE you didn't tap one of those small batch crackers and come away with doodihole stain?"

"I BARELY GOT BLOWN!!!" I raged.

"My tongue never lies. You might don't have the clap, but your dick tastes like ASS."

She stood resolutely and marched into the home theater. This time she did not wriggle free of her panties. I followed her. She stopped me in my tracks.

"Chad? ...the FUCK are you following me for? I hope you don't think you gon' git some PUSSY? NOT TUH-DAY!!! You need to see a doctor."

"MY DICK AIN'T SEEN ANY PARTS OF ASS SINCE LAST MONDAY!!" I snarled. "You need to check yo' SELF before you wreck yo' self."

"You LYIN'" she countered.

"I'm NOT lyin'. Maybe it's YOU that needs to get checked."

This caused her to pause. I wasn't her only lover. If I was telling the truth, it was HER ass dealing the dirt. And it followed that, if both of us were dirty, it didn't matter if we had sex tonite. I could see this thought dawning in her eyes.

She pursed her lips decisively before wriggling free of her panties.

The next morning we awakened in each other's arms. Both of us were sticky with semen, north and south. Gloria pushed me away.

"...the FUCK!!!!"

I'd been checked for venereal disease the previous Friday morning before my gig, as per my custom. I had PAPERS testifying to my health. Gloria believed her tongue superceded my papers. She insisted that we both go down to the free clinic.

It turned out that we were both infected with chlamydia. My habit of taking amoxycillin after every sexual interaction was the reason I'd received a clean bill of health last Friday. Apparently, I'd contracted chlamydia the night before. From Gloria. Was she apologetic? No. She was not.

Leaving the clinic together, I commented:

"Well, one of us was dirty last night. And it sure wasn't me."

"Shut the fuck up," she retorted.

"So much for your tongue being all knowing," I mentioned casually.

"Did I or did I not JUST make a suggestion about what you could do with your ignorant commentary? Do your ears work, white boy? ...the FUCK!!!"

We got in my Jeep and drove back to her place in silence. I dropped her off.

"I'll see you next week," she said.

To me, chlamydia is a ticky-tack venereal disease. You get it, you take a pill, it goes away. As a sex worker, it's one of the costs of doing business.

I was troubled because I'd contracted it from one of my regulars. Gloria and I aren't lovers. We are FUCKERS. We get together once a week to watch football and swap genitalia. We really have no other connection, I guess, other than a sometimey business relationship. She hooks me up with gigs; I give her a pre-determined cut.

Sex workers tend to be cleaner than the population at large. We are always getting checked. We are always rinsing our bodies in antibiotics, so much so that our bodies can sometimes become immune to the very medicines that cleanse us.

Gloria dosed me up. That wasn't supposed to happen. I knew she was fucking other men, but I thought she operated with a level of professionalism commensurate with her position. She's a pimp!! I'm not her only client!!

This wasn't dealbreaker, of course. She and I were going to continue our sexual congress. Gloria has a nice ass and a pussy that wraps me tightly in the clinch. I don't have to force my way into either hole; once inside her I can go the full twelve point seven five without any painful, clumsy maneuvering. Her pubic hair is kinky and plentiful; she gives a nice scratch. A guy with my size and girth won't find a woman with her proportions often. I thought perhaps I might wrap my rascal next week and the week after that to teach her a lesson. She doesn't like the feel of latex.

Arriving back at my townhome, I thought back to my conversation with Tammy. I knew she would call me, I just wondered when. I wouldn't call her, of course. That's not how game is run.

Last night while we were fucking, Gloria and I had a long conversation about Tammy. I told Gloria about the call, of course. She shook her head as if to say: "Have you forgotten everything I ever taught you? NEVER get involved with the paying clientele!"

She was right, of course. I didn't view this as "getting involved". Tammy and I had already had our thing. I just wanted another taste of that pussy. She's married! Where's the harm?

Gloria shook her head again and ordered me to push.

Alone, now, in my bedroom I checked my schedule for the upcoming weekend. Mid-October. Yes!! I've got a "double"!!

In industry parlance, a "double" is when one does an early show and a late show in the same night. The early show earns me a couple of grand. The late show earns me $2500. It's a $4500 night, minus Gloria's cut. The early show winds up about midnight. The late show, at a different club, concludes at 4 a.m. sharp And, to make things spicier, my early show is CRAZY RICH ASIANS!!!

I like Asian women. The bride was Japanese. Yes!!

I read further and was perturbed to find that I'm not closing the show!! ...the FUCK?!?

I quickly snapped off a call to Gloria.

"I'm doing a double this weekend. But I see I'm not closing the early show? The one with the Japanese? Did you find someone with a bigger dick than mine?"

"No, that's not it at all. The bride requested a Japanese Closer, in fact, two of them. Some Korean boy band look-alikes."

"But she's paying me the closing rate, right? Two grand?"

"Yeh, yeh. You'll get your cut."

"Are these fuckers getting paid more than me?"

"...the FUCK?!? I can't tell you that. Mind your own fucking business, Chad! Do your show. You're closing the late show."

And she hung up.

Friday came. No call from Tammy. I went down to the free clinic to get checked. My bout with chlamydia was no longer an issue. I hadn't nutted since Monday so I was rarin' to go. Too, I was curious to see who'd supplanted me as Closer. Two Japanese guys? Hmmmm.

Arriving at the club, I was surprised to see Devon, a black guy that I'd worked with previously. He was the opener. I knew this guy was a professional. He could dance his ass off. And he had a good-sized cock. We chatted amiably.

The two Closers were there, too. Both of them were about 5'7". Skinny Japanese boys. I watched them warm up. Their cocks weren't anything special. Maybe they were bigger than the average Japanese guys you'd see online, but seven inches, tops.

THESE guys are closing? THESE guys are following MY act?

Devon goes out there and does his schtick. He's, like, a Michael Jackson clone. Same moves, same moonwalk, same pop locking. The mostly Japanese crowd loved his dancing. They seemed a little reluctant to touch his dick. The bride finally sauntered over to give him a suck. Her friends face-palmed in astonishment. You know how Japanese girls will feign embarrassment and giggle and shit. They did exactly that.

After the bride sucked Devon's dick a couple of her friends followed suit. Looking on from the back I could see that these three women were the only ones that went commando. Devon tried to fuck them and was rebuffed.

I went out there and it was pretty much the same thing. The same three women blew me. The rest of the women giggled like children. When I went to fuck the bride, she shook her head no. She let me lick her, though. And after she climaxed I got about three inches of cock inside her raven-haired cunt before she squirmed away. I politely clapped my hands and made my way to the back.

Two grand. Easy-peasey.

I got dressed to drive over to my late gig, but I lagged behind to see these two Japanese dudes perform. I was curious like a mutherfucker.

They came out, fully clothed, and lip-synched their way through Prince's "Kiss". They had Prince's moves down pat. I was impressed. Then they did some Justin Bieber songs, I forget which ones. Then they started a medley of BTS tunes. At that point, the women were in an uproar. Those women screamed and quailed as if they were at an actual pop concert. They took off their queefy underwear and threw them at the stage.

The two Japanese guys had stripped down to their skivvies by then, and masturbated themselves erect. The bride now broke protocol and savagely attacked both men on the divan in the middle of the room. She mounted one and pulled the other one behind her for a DP session. All the while her friends are looking on and screeching like pre-pubescent teens. I looked at Devon. We had some more work to do.

We went back out and, let me tell you, those Japanese girls assaulted us with cunt. If you ever want some pussy from a Japanese girl, SING. SING!! You don't even have to sing well. Lip synch and dance like someone famous. You'll get fucked.

The club's waiters now marched out a couch and a love seat from the club owner's office. Devon and I sat on these as the Japanese girls, so shy and demur during our earlier sets, mounted us, dick and mouth, two at a time. The DJ had the music blaring. The whole show turned into a kinghell, uninhibited orgy. Not one of the four paid dicks went unwettened. Two of the waiters even dropped trou to join the fun. They were immediately fired—and didn't regret it. Even the DJ got into the act. He couldn't be fired. He was on contract.

The two Japanese guys splattered the bride, rested up for ten minutes, then made their rounds of the room. Any unfilled holes soon went dickened. The two dudes fucked ravenously for several minutes before moving on to the next available orifice. I could see these guys were professionals.

I fucked six of these women, nutting twice, before I remembered I had another show to do. I licked as many unsoiled pussies as I could. Lying back on the couch with a strange Asian woman mounted atop my dick, I couldn't tell how many equally strange Asian women mounted my face. There seemed an endless barrage of them. I never licked so much blue/black silken carpet in my entire life.

It was the wildest scene!! Each time the girly screeching abated, the two Japanese guys would slip back into character and pantomime another song. The screeching started up again. That room REEKED of pussy. I didn't want to leave.

But the clock said 2 a.m. I had to be on stage at another club by three. I was already late. Nor was I in any condition to perform. I'd just left a third serving of semen in the bride's churning ass.

Reluctantly, I extricated myself from the young woman's rectum and made my way to the parking lot. I hopped in my Jeep and reached into the glove box to grab a packet of Viagra. I had another show to do. Still smelling of a buncha holes, I hoped the late show bride wouldn't mind my lingering feminine odor. I didn't have time to shower.

The next day I called Gloria to ask where she'd found the two Japanese fellows. I asked if she'd seen their act. She told me to mind my own fucking business.

"So I guess you don't want to know what happened last night." I said.

"Wait. What? What happened?"

"Mind your own fucking business," I retorted.

I hung up.

As a pimp, Gloria couldn't be everyplace at once. She had me and Devon and the Japanese fellows performing at one club. She had other guys performing at another. She even had women performing at various bachelor parties. Since people usually get married on Saturdays, most of her performers worked on Thursdays and Fridays. Gloria took her cut from all these events up front. Our labor paid for her home theater and her Beemer and her Harley and her addiction to casino gaming. She could afford to be abrupt. Gloria immediately called me back.

"What happened, Chad?"

She was thinking it was something fucked up. I told her about the orgy and the waiters who joined in and got fired and the lip-synching and the over-the-top crowd response.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," she said.

"It's not a bad thing. I'd like to work with those two guys again, if you get an Asian wedding. ANY Asian wedding."

"And what's in it for ME?" she said.

"Some DICK, if you attend the show." I opined.

"I have all the dick I need, thank you. What's my CUT?" she said.

"Didn't you make 20% off both my shows last night? I don't recall YOUR dick doing any of the work."

"I pull these things together, darling. If not for me, you wouldn't be MAKING dick."

"So you're saying you want a bigger cut?"

"I want SOMETHING. I didn't get to be where I am by not wanting something."

"Can you quantify what you want?" I asked.

"I can. But not right now. It doesn't have to be money. But it'll be something."

"Fine."

"Oh, and here's one more thing," she said, "Your girl Tammy called me."

This peaked my interest.

"What did she want?" I asked.

"She wanted to know where you are performing Halloween weekend."

"...the FUCK? She's a Jehovah's witness. They don't celebrate holidays."

"I'm just telling you what she wanted."

"What's up with Tammy and this church of hers?"

"I don't know shit about Tammy and her church. I just know that she wasn't supposed to be at the club that night. I had to keep it a big secret."

"Did she tell you why?" I asked.

"NO. And I didn't ask. She paid me. I paid you."

"You didn't pay me shit." I sniffed.

"Oh. That's right. You gave me a freebie," she admitted.

"So you're going to schedule me with the Japanese guys for free?" I asked hopefully.

"Nope," she said.

Halloween was two weeks off. Why in the fuck would Tammy be wondering after my shows? Why would she call Gloria to ask? Why wouldn't she call ME?

I looked at my schedule and saw that I had a small batch program coming up. But not small batch white women. The bride was black, some woman named Gina. Gloria's crib notes said Gina's friends were mostly white. Her notes insinuated that the party would be mild. I wondered if Tammy knew the bride. I wondered if she planned to attend.

So Halloween comes. I prance out, dick in hand, doing my thing. Tammy is not in the audience. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. Not disappointed enough to call her, you understand, but disappointed nonetheless. I knew how to run this game. The fact that she'd called Gloria told me I was winning.

The following week, again, nothing. I kept pressing Gloria for information about Tammy's call. There'd only been that one. Gloria was getting irritated at my cupidity.

Two more weeks went by. Gradually, Tammy's name drifted into the back of my mind. I wanted to fuck her, but it's not like I had any shortage of pussy on my plate. Gloria and I were still regular. My Friday nights were always chock-a-block full of strange. Sister Samuelson became less and less of a priority.

Two more weeks passed. I did another freak show with the two Japanese guys. I tells ya, I like Asian pussy. I like how the pubic hair drifts into the middle of the slit and crests there like a pup tent. I like the clear-eyed devotion to fellatio. I don't like the childish giggling, but the pussy is prime. Japanese women love mega-cock. They like analingus even better. Doing shows with the two Japanese guys was just pure, unadulterated fun. Once they got the crowd ginned up all bets were off.

I started wondering after the brides I'd fucked. What were they thinking? I'm fucking them shitless one day, the next day their husbands are taking over where I left off. I don't mean to brag, but I'm a professional. It's highly unlikely that their husbands are going to fuck these women with my level of skill and precision. It wasn't unusual for brides to call Gloria years later and ask for a one-on-one session with me. That's what I thought of Tammy's call, but she hadn't followed up.

Let's face it, people like to fuck. Women are just as sexual as men. There isn't a woman around that wouldn't rather fuck than mop floors. Women just like to have their sexual predilections re-packaged as romance, that's all. They like the grandiosity of the chase. They like the attention. They like the idea that their pussies are in charge of the final outcome of the chase. Fucking is the only physical activity where a woman can compete with a man on equal terms. Serena Williams will never beat Roger Federer at tennis. Other than when mounted atop a dick, women really are the weaker sex.

It's also true that men with huge dicks don't have the advantages commonly thought. Big dicks HURT. Having sex with a man wielding a thirteen-inch dick can be an ordeal if all he does is pound, pound, pound. The idea is to get it in there and get her wet enough to take the whole pole. Lick that coochie if you have to! Then you can pound all you want. The women I fuck at these bachelorette parties lube up before they come, fully anticipating a dick like mine. They don't wear underwear. And they're usually drunk by the time I come out to perform. If I had to wine and dine these women like girlfriends, getting my dick inside them would take a lot longer, MONTHS maybe, after considerable phone conversations, lies, faked common ground, sweet talk and clitoral massage. These are the weapons men use to wheedle women out of their drawers and onto the altar.