All Comments on 'The Ballad of John and Al Ch. 06'

So now we know Johns father is a pervert and Al is just another slut. The neighbor is out of the story, John's angst is almost invisible. Ok.

Hmmmm bullshit.

Another great chapter! Particularly, given the complexity of the story’s structure while still keeping the narrative compelling. Well done. I do have one question about a seeming incongruity in the story. The incongruity revolves around Al’s unwillingness to fulfill John’s fantasy in their “tight-knit community“ for fear of negativity impacting their relationships with themselves, family and friends. However, she is then willing to have sex with her future Father-in-law. Just a thought I had but it is not stopping me from enjoying the story. As always, thank you!

another good chapter, not quite as gripping as the last ones but still enjoying where this is going and hopefully my thoughts are right! definitely will be reading more when it's out!

@mongoliajoe because the story is bullshit. Kinda disappointing but these characters make no sense. They are not real. It took me right off tbh. Went from "interesting" to "oh it is just "My father's woman" part 3 but with less interesting characters.

This was not good, the self insert had the opposite effect and didn't make the story feel more real to me. It's just too fourth wall breaking and in combination with the writing style I struggled to understand the story as a non native english speaker

A great series! Acknowledging that JR has changed the structure on this chapter it seems quite disjointed. What happened to the slow burn with the other men in the building, the increasing denial to John, his emotional angst? It almost seems as though there is a chapter missing between 5 & 6? However as always, I love your writing and can’t wait for the next instalment!

Thanks for this hot story! I love to read about the father perspective. So damn hot!

Thank you, @mongoliajoe, @ForestsCharms, and @francisa123, for your supportive comments, even as you acknowledge the jarring change in the narrative. And then there are the others. Sorry to disappoint you; do you want your money back? The thing about this entire series is, it's the product of my interaction with a couple (I believe) who are sharing their fantasies (and experiences?) with me and inviting me to turn them into a story that it thrills them to read online. It's consistent with my experience that a freshly-minted hotwife suddenly takes off in directions that her cuck-wannabe did not anticipate. That being said ... has it occurred to me that Al is teasing me, just as hard as she's teasing John? Uh, yeah; I've referenced that more than once in the narrative. I'll also point out that nothing in the story suggests tangible proof that anything has actually happened, other than a couple of photos that may or may not be photo-shopped. I will say this: John and Al are far, far, far from the first people who have engaged with me at great length to say that the thought of fucking hubby's dad is their number one fantasy.

@Rimbaud17 I’m curious as to why you chose to title the story as a ballad. The word is rather archaic and has specific connotations to narrative style. Also, you’re obviously very thoughtful and intentional in your writing so I am certain you had a reason to title the story as you did. Thanks!

The title is a play on the old Beatles song "The Ballad of John and Yoko." John and Al chose it. Nothing deeper than that.

I think this story is very good. The plot is complex and nested together like a set of Russian dolls, plots within plots within plots. That makes it a bit more difficult to follow but it makes sense. The multiple characters make the story harder to understand than the typical Loving Wives, A-B-C-D linear plot with two main characters, but the fun of this story is that it is actually happening in more or less real time. Ostensibly. So they say. Perhaps. You never really know, ya' know?

I don't understand the negativity. Which of you old geezers doesn't like an older man-younger women story? Raise your hands. There, I don't see any hands. See, only a small percentage of readers vote on a story. (An author can see stats unavailable to readers.) Of that small percentage of readers, only a minuscule number leave a comment. So the fact you have left a comment tells me you are a part of an exclusive club of readers. So why are you leaving discouraging, pissing-and-moaning comments? Good writers are rare. Shouldn't you want to encourage an author, especially one who can actually write?

Write on, JR.

I personally liked the contrast between the dad in this series compared to the My Father Visits. More go getter type if not quite alpha compared in this series is exciting in its own way.

I love it. I feel it's real. Though one of my concern was the interaction between Al and JR about David's messages was a little confusing as to who is saying what. Apart from that David's conquest is definitely a menacing turn on and I love it. Also I hope she ditches the neighbor and takes David full time. Since John has already read the Father visits story he must be overwhelmingly hit by the new reality soon.

@Rimbaud17 Sorry if my criticism came as too harsh. I just love your stories and this feels like part three of My father's woman with less interesting characters. Maybe I was expecting more. The character development in this series always felt a bit sub par compared to your other entries and this went into the realms of breaking suspension of disbelief quite fast. Maybe I have too kinky a background (though never participated in a cuckold relationship only two ways open. Knew people who did though) and this relationship between John and Al is frankly, unbelievable.

Or at least it crossed that barrier this chapter and, late in the previous one, it was too close to self deletion fantasies (which NEVER end well) to be healthy or believable. One good rule of thumb for any open relationship is "always touch your partner more than your boyfriend". Doesn't need to be physical intimacy always, but it needs to be there. You know, living as a couple, doing couple things, etc. This relationship... None of that. It reeks of male fantasy tbh. Or at least I hope it is a fantasy.

One anecdote tw, self harm: guy I knew who was a kinky bastard. He went pussy free with his wife and was proud of it. Wife got a bull and they had lots of kinky sex. I thought it was obvious where it was going to end (so did others but no one said a thing until I did). He was always saying that I don't know them or their relationship well enough to make judgements like that. Fair enough. I saw him 3 or 4x a year at best so maybe he was right.

Wife got pregnant with bull. He was all happy. I told him he really needs to stop and check in with wife sooner rather than later as this was going to end badly and was probably too late. At this point they didn't have sex for 500 days or so he told me. He cussed me out called me jealous and other things yada yada yada. He was right and I was wrong and just butting in. He checked out after his wife left him.

Self deletion fantasies always end up badly. Your stories teether on the edge of them a lot of the times but a) they are stories and b) the couple's relationship is usually very emotionally connected. Heck I found your ending for "My father's woman" where wife leaves guy for his dad hot as fuck but also completely unrealistic for a few reasons. But it was fine. We had a structure, character development and we could see some reasoning behind those decisions. Here, none of that. Things just happen and we are tagging along for a ride.

Basically even if real, this story is your worst story so far. And operating under the constraints you are operating, I understand why. But then the question becomes; why would such a good writer decide to take this story up?

At least now as it is. I mean, if you had the full story from John and Al and how it ended and then dramatized it, that would probably result in a much better story.

I am also sure you can see it is not as good as your previous stories. I mean, it is still good and I can definitely read trashy stories that are not as well written or developed as this and have fun but they are not from YOU. Get it? That is why my criticism is maybe a bit harsh. You just made me expect a lot better from you. I think you are an amazing writer that is why I reacted so strongly I think.

Also some thing to consider, armed forces in the US have a really strong view on adultery. If this is true and it leaked... Especially with John in the CIC... This could fuck up his career massively. I mean, for one he would probably lose his security clearance. This could cost him way more than Al.

I liked the story and the narrative changes do give a nice perspective. I think I'd lean a little more to the written story elements than the text exchanges in the future but that's just my preferences. I personally would have loved to see a scene of AL teasing John after she says she fucked the neighbor the first time too. Once again just expressing personal preferences and not really a criticism. The last bit did confuse me a little. Did he get an advance of the first part and that was added later or is he saying everything that was written till now was really about Kara? It would also be hot if AL and David did hook up if AL gives him her next month of birth control instead and he decides to take it with him. Another twist would be if she ends of giving him a hand job meaning now lost thing left is taken from John and he can only jerk himself off while she teases him. Then David tells her not to get off until they see each other again. This sets the stage for AL to be extremely horny the next time she see's David.

A very interesting change of narrative in this chapter. You are drawing JR (yourself) into the tale as well. I love the way you are letting the readers wonder if this is a mindfuck or something real- except this time it is author and not one of the characters in the ballad

I love this. I've no deep analyses or keen observations. As heard aboard dragonboats: STROKE! STROKE! STROKE!

:)

I personally like the change in tone. I loved that slow build, but I think it makes it feel much more real this way. Fantasy is clear and follows narrative structure. Reality is messy. Peoples' feelings change abruptly, plans derail. This feels like the way an actual relationship would work, with real people in it. Whether or not John and Al are as they represent, it doesn't matter. I love it and can't wait for the next chapter

It's true that this story may not be hitting traditional narrative beats, but, you know what, after 70-odd stories/chapters that Rimbaud's given us, he should have license to experiment with story structure. Selfishly, I can only hope it all ties together neatly in the end. Yet, I'd also be intrigued if it continues going off the wall. How meta would it be if Al or John go on to read these comments and cite X or Y commenter, getting Rimbaud to bring the readers into the narrative. 4th wall what?

Love this story but this chapter was a bit of a miss. The text exchanges were hard to follow and the self insert brought me out of the story. Al not wanting to hook up with family or friends but then ditching her first bull for johns father? Seems a bit too inconsistent and unlikely (not saying that fantasy doesn't exist, it just doesn't line up with the characters as written). Maybe missing a chapter because I felt like we never really got to see johns reaction to her first time cucking him.

Really liked the game she was playing with him, now it seems like it's just a rehash of your old story.

It was an awesome serie... but for me it have finished with "I know, I'm a bastard".

It was a pity...

Another father-in-law storyline? Meh.

bloody hell this story is crazy lol will his dad end up fucking Alison in her wedding dress as John watches!

fantastic storyline, will he cuckold his son on his wedding day? spending the honeymoon with Alison instead of her husband lol maybe John will become a voyeur watching his bride and father together?

wow....fucking his fiance while he watched, masturbating like mad.

that would be cool

A few more chapters leading up to the wedding and honeymoon cuckold would be brilliant

this story seems to have an edge on My fathers woman etc because hes not restrained in chastity cage an therefore can get the hardest of hardons, more so when he watches with his own eyes through slightly open door to his bedroom as his fiance rides his dad. maybe she spots him watchin an rides harder smiling as thier eyes lock together hehe

this chapter was insane🙂

safeword might be a bit late now

great chapter

cant wait for the next one....

cmon another one please

@Anonymous, quality takes time. Let the chef cook.

I think the next chapter will be hot as fuck as he reads about his wifes cheating even better if he gets to watch it

good luck rimbaud17 hope you have brilliant ideas for the next one

Ideas that include voyeurism, spying on his wife and her new daddy. leading up to the wedding cuckold that John bears witness too. hard as steel. maybe in chastity on his honeymoon as she frollicks with daddy in the pool or sea as he just looks on...in shock and lust rrrrrr poor guy lol

oh its all good pychological fun, no one needs this in real life with there own dad but one can twist in the mind so its a daddy type figure an go from there. I agree it got a little confusing but was fun and interesting. like others have said...a little voyerism would be great or maybe john watching secret recordings with his wife Allison putting her husband down as she rides her 'daddy'. Or crazily watching not only through slightly open doors but actually in thier presence giggle. great imagination rimbaud17. well done.

with the diverse ideas being thrown around I can imagine the next few chapters will be fan-fucking-tastic 😁 And I cant wait to jerk off to them

Hey Rimbaud! Any updates? Can't wait for the next chapter!