All Comments on 'The Beast Within'

I loved it!

wow very entertaining ty for the read. i know it wasnt exactly like lovecraft but that name came to my mind as i read lol

In the first few paragraphs, did you mean "sadistic" wife? Also, the evening news is NOT reality.

Now to go read the story.

The start was so bad I'm not interested in reading on.

I can understand wanting magic to happen so as to fix things that are (or seem to be) beyond human control. I also ‘get’ piling-on against all the shit that is outta control. What I do not understand is publishing such an unmitigated rant. So, since the evil is absolute, it has to be eliminated absolutely ... no compromise or accommodation. Bruno had to be brutally removed by the Force for Good. Sweetie is, under all the evil, an evil female, so it is OK to just excommunicate or isolate her.

Why the fuck would Gretchen fall in love with Hubby? He shows no character except passivity and compliance from the story start to the finish*. Yeah, he works well at his employment. BFD.

* Except, of course, when he becomes the Avenging Angel. (sorry, mycologists)

2*. might score a little better in Fantasy.

That is the first impression when I see a new saddletramp story. I know I'm going to get a crazy, over the top tale with a satisfying end. This is exactly what this was,no more, no less. Thanks for the ride tramp.

or just left on the hard drive, to dissipate into electron compost. Weird, if you're into that sort of thing. Ridiculous for us plain boring common sense thinkers.

Why exactly would you want to write a continuation of the original story by Hidden submissive? I mean WHY BOTHER?

Their original story was absurdly done. As if a normal healthy heterosexual male can somehow another allow his wife to slap a chastity belt on his cock and balls without his permission....

How is high powered account executive whose job is to bring in the money supposed to do that when he goes 3 days without any sleep?

In front of several police officers nurses doctors and and videotape the wife threatens to kill her husband in the hospital Room

Yet somehow the author writes this....

The threats, which had been captured on the hospital's surveillance system, were deemed irrelevant.

I know it's supposed to be fiction but come on people this is just awful and absurd

HULK SMASH! lol

Bill smash puny biker fag!!! Send bitch to Crazytown!!!

Marry real woman!!

Loved it :)

Interesting tail. 5 stars.

I was in a Biker "Club" (always a Club, it's NEVER called a Gang), for a few years. They aren't very excited to see or hear you talk about leaving. It helps when you are a Sociopath and one of the main "Fixers of Problems" in the Club. They know if they mess with you, they will end up as a "Fixed Problem", themselves. They also know you won't Rat them out since most of the major violent felonies were done by you.

I have just learned to stay away from most of the States my former "Club" has Branches in. This is pretty much just to avoid an issue with a drunken or drugged out Member thinking he would look good by doing something to me. In reality, I am to be treated like an Amish Refugee and Shunned if I am ever seen or recognized by a Member of the Club. Although, after a couple of decades, I'm not sure any of them would even recognize me these days.

That scene from Heavy Metal. Stttttteeeeeeerrrn!

I think this needs framing!

We all need some light relief and this is it.

But at the end it was revenge for betrayal. Just what the doctor ordered.

Not a Loving Wives story .

Pure fantasy , maybe even your very own masturbatory fantasy .

You can write far better than this ....... so what just happened ?

A lot of yhis was telegraphed, but so what.

The underlying theme, of a man reclaiming his masculinity after deferring to his wife is a standard one, but this was so deliberately over the top it would make even the “red pill” guys shake their heads.

The real question is: can a man who was always a bit submissive ever become an alpha? In this, you answered it by saying that it can be done, but only with comic book “science.” I’m not sure, but you might even be right about rpthat.

Ninja Husbands. Or The Incredible Cuck, maybe.

Enjoyed the trip into fantasyland.

Although the state of the house after just a few days was overkill.

Also the romance with gretchen was silly and could have been just left at treatment sex.

Was that movie reference from that horrendous scientology movie by travolta? Horrid movie and a more horrid cult.

... And Bill made sure to visit Sara once a year and re-live the night the Bill-Beast made his appearance.

Puny human!!! Ha ha ha ha ha..., four foot long...., oh..., my sides..., cant breath..., make it stop. Seriously Mr. saddletramp1956, please make it stop. Find yourself a good illustrator. The two of you could make a mint with this one. Why do I read your work? I read your work because every now and then, you surprise me and for that I am grateful. But seriously, don't limit youself. Explore new avenues, graphic erotic novels for instance. Something other than the loving wives section of literotica because clearly this one belongs somewhere else.

LOL.

This was a mix of science fiction and a segment of LW along with some strange fetish. Thankfully since midway through, I looked at the other facet of the story and shifted to sci-fi, it was amusing.

I couldn't get past the first 7 paragraphs...…….

And didn’t he have a “chastity device” on when he was admitted to the hospital? That would have rung bells like crazy. Not “Hmmm. Is something wrong at home?”

Chastity device, screwed up hormones, belligerent wife (with accompanying biker dude) demanding admittance to room with unconscious patient would have sent clear signals.

Also, would have been easy enough for police to ask cuck for permission to enter the house to inspect for illicit drug activity. No need for stake out. Wife and biker would have been gone from the house long before cuck got out of the hospital.

I realize this was a fantasy, but “suspension of disbelief” stories usually requires some modicum of grounding in reality. This was more like a drug addled bad dream of a BTB/anti-cuck story. The only way this story would have gotten more than 1-star from me would have been if, in end, cuck had woken up at PC keyboard having binge read LW Literotica stories for 8-hours having stayed home because he had a high fever from the flu.

This was going along pretty well until you turned him into the Hulk. That was just ridiculous, moved the story into the sci/fi category and ruined any chance the story had of being entertaining. It went from interesting to ridiculous in a flash.

2 stars

That sucks! I really don't care much for Bill but Beasty Bill could be one helluva character. He could go hang out at the Shack or maybe drop by The Hangar once in a while or head down to Degard for a vacation and right wrongs along the way. But he does need a good superhero name. The Human Tripod? Alpha Man? Mr. Studtastic, Schlong Man?

The Gretchen character is a little disconcerting. Does she try to bang all the brand new beta patients the first night at the clinic or is Bill just so forlorn that he oozes Martian Slut Ray Pheromes. It just doesn't add up. And while Doc is obviously brilliant he is also pimping out his neice. And as one other commentor said he should visit wifey once a year and deliver black roses and a merciless, lube free ass pounding. This story has more wrong with it than my Calc II final but it was a fun read and demands more. Well played Tramp. Well played.

the hulk without the green. lol

I tried. It's putrid.

Your writing craft is good good Sir, but this story??

Hmmm excluding the SciFi Incredible hulk aspect it does stretch the credibility elastic band to squeaking point.

However it entertained me and I did get something from it so a three from me on this one. The Cheating Zone needs a few updates me thinks!

PP

I get you want to write completely unrealistic fantasy stories. More power to you. It is entertaining. However, it would seem the theme of this story is either "fantasy" ( as in comic books ) or mind control. Would you please consider putting stories like this in a more appropriate category?

KB

I took this for what it was, an LW version of the hulk. I enjoyed it even though it was wildly unrealistic. I think even without the preface, I would have understood that was the author's intention. It isn't a great story for the wall of fame, but it did make me laugh, so thanks for sharing!

I suppose it is acceptable for adults to enjoy animation as much as children do. I suppose one can appreciate the artistic merit of the skill that it takes to produce one.

But this thing was ugly. It wasn't even funny ugly. It wasn't so bad, its kinda good enjoyable. It was just bad.

Look, I don't think I can write better than you, but I know I could write better than this.

I struggle to come up with ideas that could be new and different, but trust me, horrendous train wreck HAS been done before.

Shock Value can be confused with entertainment value, but this was a car crash on the side of the road that many will find it easy to zoom right past. I hope you found some enjoyment in writing this. Unfortunately, you didn't leave any behind, and certainly didn't weave any into the story for the rest of us. At its best, it was at its worse, and at its worse? I just feel unclean.

Please keep writing, I will never discourage anyone here, and EVERY contribution is appreciated, really. But man, o, man..... Sometimes you just have to hear when an idea just doesn't work. Try not to let hearing it ruin your day, and good luck!

More, more. Yeah, I loved your Sci-Fi fantasy story. So off the pace for our normal fare. Just pure fun for my reading pleasure. Thanks for sharing.

All the usual tropes, just cranked up to 11. Wife wants to screw other men, humiliates wimpy but loving hubby, gets bad boy boyfriend, who participates in the humiliation. Wimpy yet highly economically successful loving hubby goes along hoping to get along but is too emotionally fragile to handle it(thanks MM!), gets involved with secretive organization which rehabilitates him with an experimental sooper seekrit procedure.

Literally Burns The Bastard and figuratively Burns The Bitch, and rides off into the sunset with younger, hotter. super smart and loving woman.

Only things missing were Seals, Rangers, Martial Arts, and a Mustang.

Was it literature? Nope. But as a comic book it was pretty good. Even had a little joke with "Puny humans."

Held my interest, 4*

Loved how it unfolds. Felt sorry for his poor ass when his wife fucked him.

Good read.

obviously this ISN'T a "loving wives" story. lol but rather give you a hard time about that. I'd rather focus on the wife. Was she really loving BEFORE that weekend getaway and if so, which I presume she was. What happened there?!? And how does she even know the woman down the street that she would even go away with her instead?

About why the wife turned so nasty or why she hooked up with an old neighbor from down the street, I believe SaddlleTramp was referring to his "Revenge in Advance" series. Which is very good

What a load of crap. Total nonsense

I had a great time reading this story. Rather campy but great fun. Puny human

Loved it. And yes it was way way out there. But disagree with bandor. The btb was enough to put in this category. Like how you create new ways to get even. Just excellent.

As you warned it was totally unbelieveable but also enjoyable. Actually, it was as believeable as all the super warrior/computer/spyware hero of many other LS stories. Glad the two extremes are totally fictional. They are fictional aren't they?

I miss the real BTB stories of old...

...this was just 'meh'. There aren't many good BTB tales being submitted these days

If you think it's unbelievable it's your fault for reading in the first place after the warning. That's besides the fact that you think your opinion changes anything.

Darn it I really wanted to hear Sara screaming when Bill shoved that monster dick up her ass like you see in those monster anime comics. Being locked up in an asylum for rest of her life seems too little of a price for her.

Another wonderful story. I am amused by every one of your stories. Thanks again!!

A good overview of a subject which is still taboo, namely discussing the issue of rape, domestic violence, and spousal abuse when the MAN is the victim, not the woman. Almost all accounts of this ugly subject work from the premise that the male is always the assailant, and the women is the victim. That is not necessarily so, Women can be just as violent and as abusive as men, and just about as often.

Hats off to Saddletramp1956 for raising this issue, and for Literotica for publishing it.

FIVE STARS!! *****

I'm sorry, saying something is fiction doesn't mean that you can defy reality, unless you're writing Fantasy or Sci Fi. A wife and her lover assaults he husband in his hospital bed, assaults a nurse and threatens him in front of the Police is simply NOT going to get a slap on the wrist.

"Was that before or after she threatened to make you a woman?" - I've looked back, can't find that.

Normally I don't like these syfi or whatever they are called. But this was so cleverly written I did enjoyed it. Very good. Keep writing please. Just not a lot of these.

It doesn't have to be particularly believable, just very enjoyable. This was very, very enjoyable.

I wouldn't know. Page 1 was more than enough.

I just wish THE BEAST did at least SOMETHING to his crazy psychotic ex wife.

I mean she beat him, raped him, abused him emotionally/mentally, and treated him worse than most slaves. She had also weened him off real food, as his body was literally dying of malnourishment.

At least she's locked up in a pretty white room for the foreseeable future. A monster like her needs to be locked away. I'm not THAT bloodthirsty for revenge. Maybe him crushing her wedding ring finger after he slid it off. That would have been poetic. An ugly reminder every time she used her hands to do something. It'd prolly heal a little crooked, but still be totally usable. So that would have been a nice touch. That's just me. It was a pleasure to read another story by you. Thank you.

Unless you write Bill as the typical LW fag/cuck to begin with, no man would walk in the door one evening after work and allow a wife to put a cock cage on him OR put up with any of the other insanity. The bitch would have been kicked to the curb long before "Bruno" showed up...and Bruno opened the car door after it had moved? What the fuck was it, a 1970 Dodge Dart? Any car built in the last twenty years locks doors automatically when the car moves. The whole story is so far beyond believable that a 1 is generous. I write this as someone who regularly gives this author 5s.

Sara should have gotten the same medicine as the other asshole and Gretchen should have had kids... Good story!

Most every comment you have posted is more about yourself than the story .It seems as though you never tire of talking about yourself.

I just have one question. Your profile says you are a "one man woman" and that the photo of you is current (summer 2017),how can that be? The photo is of a man.

Where is it written that " saying something is fiction doesn't mean that you can defy reality, unless you're writing Fantasy or Sci Fi"?

Over the top, good story anyway. 4/5

Enjoyed this story a lot, though could have been titled Captain American Hulk - LOL!

However, the ending was rushed. It could have used a longer confrontation with maybe some regret thrown in by the wife. Would have kicked it up to a 5.

"As much as he hated her and wanted to end her miserable existence, cold-blooded murder simply wasn't in his nature."

Uh, didn't he JUST kill Bruno a moment before?

Silly over the top story. Definitely not the best.

@tralan69er - Where is it written? Obviously nowhere, I'm just giving my opinion, but let me try an example: Let's say that I write a story, and I have a character, a famous businessman/ TV personality/ politician, who OPENLY goes around grabbing women by their pussies, and isn't charged with sexual assault, and people say that could never happen, would my saying, "It's just fiction" excuse my using it in my story?

be they of German descent where Dr Frank held forth in his castle. TK U MLJ LV NV

Long time since I read such a load of crap.

It was going along great until page 5 then you rushed the ending Anderson invented a Hilk type monster which kinda ruined it for me which was a shame as I was waiting for ex wife to try and justify herself and Bill to humiliate her for revenge. Never mind just do t do that silly ending stuff it spoils the whole thing

bitch all you want, loser. but the saddletramp actually writes and contributes really good escapist work. All you do is bitch and write nothing. So, that being the case, how about you go blow a dead goat, k?

Can' t understand why the FDA wouldn't approve the treatment. 5 stars from me, buddy. The Bear approves. Good luck, kids.

The BEAR

Didn’t like it at first, but it finished hilarious so...

Seriously to stupid for words. Are there really people as stupid as these characters?

To anonymous 08/17/20,best you stick to comics,they are more suitable for your level of intelligence.

The doctor's name was Franklin Steiner. You forgot to write in Igor

This was highly formulaic and the story lines and characters and scenes pushed to the extremes of belief. I literally skimmed lines just to hurry up and get to the end.

Usually a big fan of saddletramp but this...whatever this was, was not good.

Couldn’t get past the early part when Bruno chased him down on his motorcycle.

Shit anyone not totally brain dead knows if he grabbed a door handle the driver could just take off or drive back & forth a few feet to discourage the fat fucker.

—5 stars!

Bill

In your preface: "If you want reality, watch the evening news." Aha ha ha ha ha, good one!

in addition to my earlier comment:

If you'd phrased that sentence "... watch the LOCAL news" I'd be inclined to consent, there's some not overly distorted reality to be found.

However, the larger the circles the news are about, the more we are lied to, by omission mostly, but still...

Premise of the story was good, but translating it onto the page appeared beyond the author.

"He couldn't have alcohol so he gave him a glass of cider" pleeease?

Dictionary Definition

(US hard cider); (Australian English rough cider)

an alcoholic drink made from apples

Dr. Franklin Steiner ( Frankenstein ). Jesus, could you be any more obvious? Since it won't let me give you negative stars, it's no stars from me.

I liked it.. funny

BILL THE BITCH....LIKE HE LET HIS SLUT WIFE DO WHAT SHE DID....HE REALLY SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIMSELF...JUST READING ABOUT SPINELESS WIMP CUCK BILL MAKES YOU WANT TO GO INTO THE STORY AND BITCH SLAP HIM

He let the abuse go too long. I'm also not a fan he death or insanity to cheaters. They need to live a long time with their regrets.

Once I figured out that unique genre identified in the bold title above, I sat back and truly enjoyed all the nonsense in this story.

On another note, can my fellow readers appreciate the huge advancement in writing skills ST has shown us? Compare this loose little farce to his latest Sci-Fi entry and you will see it too. I fear ST will soon recognize his skills exceed the freebie world of Lit.

Now....if we can only get him to use "lie/lay" and "lay/laid" properly, get his pronouns straightened out, correct his verb number (they was?), plus recognize "advise" is a verb and "advice" is a noun....we can praise nearly perfect punctuation/grammar skills.

Keep 'em comin'.

Loved it. Wish the ex could have received the four footer up the ass.

Great Story!!! Gotta love a happy ending !!!!

A little to far out for my taste. The writing was very good.Deserved a rating of 5 however it was to far out so I penalized the rating downward to a 4. SaddleTramp I do like most all of your stories. RCD

So, so many things make this one too disgusting to enumerate.

What I find hardest to understand is why most of the really disgusting stuff stayed in the story.

ST56 made apologies for them in his preface, so he obviously realized he was going to upset a shitload of readers.

And he left all that in there, anyway? 2*s

Gotta agree with RB8B3WIDE

ST56 is one seriously up and down writer. Sometimes he writes truly great stories and then others he just goes way too far into stupidville.

Often times, like so many, the women have to be so far over the top that they just need to learn their true place in a "man's" world. C'mon many of us can see it sometimes.

damn good story, thanks

This was ridiculous... On so many levels...

Yes officer I was threatened with a four foot dick.

Death by anal penetration.

Sometimes these stories are so ridiculous that they are hilarious.

In the beginning I thought this is so stupid that it is entertaining but I lost interest to read any further on the third page. It is really that bad, this author alternates somewhere between "Plan 9 from the Outer Space" to utmost boring absurdity. It is amazing how much stuff he wrote and some of that is entertaining but to read that all is like surfing to garbage.

In the beginning I thought this is so stupid that it is entertaining but I lost interest to read any further on the third page. It is really that bad, this author alternates somewhere between "Plan 9 from the Outer Space" to utmost boring absurdity. It is amazing how much stuff he wrote and some of that is entertaining but to read that all is like surfing to garbage.

[10.09.22]

Flippin' Fan-F'N-Tastic!

WAAAAY OTT and deliciously fun!

This should satisfy all those 'cuck' & and 'wimp' whingers and whiners!

11/10 4 foot penises!!!!!

Tearjerker with a happy ending, I'm in love with this story. I know there is always some claim that stories are a work of fiction, but I believe that out of every work of fiction holds some truth to somebody out there. My heart broke for Bill, it cried for Bill, & it was happy that Bill got the type of relationship that he rightfully deserved. It's a shame that we as a society don't talk more about male abuse and trauma. Men are expected to be a certain way to avoid judgment. It's sad we don't do more to create safe spaces men can let their grievances out without judgment. Men are human being too, not just a wallet.

As entertaining as this is; it either could have done without the ass rape or punished the wife a bit more.

This was a lot of fun . Everytime I think of a four foot cock ripping her in two, I nearly piss myself laughing.

Thought it was a poor story.

I loved it. I needed a dose of SaddleTramp1956 to "make my day". :-) And the thought of a small, skinny meth addicted woman taking a 4 foot cock up her ass was hilarious and had me laughing uncontrollably for 5 solid minutes. In fact the visual I get when I close my eyes still makes me laugh and smile (not to be forgotten anytime soon). Same applies when I even just think about it. :O This one will go into my own "keeper" file, and I'll re-read it again in a month or 2 when I need some "Tramp" relief from a tough day. Thanks for sharing it with us, and I gave it 5 stars.

3/5 Stars: REALLY HATED the rape and faeces (shit) aspects but, Whilst a fictional story it highlights how often men who are abused go unnoticed and cannot speak up. ABSOLUTELY loved Bill's confrontation with Sara and the threat of a 4ft cock lmao, Kudos to him for not killing her which would have been justified. Also shows he is a good person whether in Beast mode or not he got his revenge on Sara as let's face it... NOTHING IS MORE TORTURE than being isolated with your own thoughts (i.e. Sara being committed for life to a Psychiatric hospital).

NOT A LOVING WIVES STORY SO ITS A 0!

SCI-FI 10/5!!!!! WOW!!!!