The Best in The Business

I love a good overheard conversation story, be it through a baby monitor, a grate, at a party, or in a bar like this one. One of my stories, Ancient History, used an overhead conversation in a pub toilet for devastating consequences. I write for myself, but I am always pleased if anyone else enjoys them.

I thank you for your kindness during my recent surgeries--just one more to go.

There is no sex in this story, just sex references--English spelling and terms. Equity is the UK performing arts and entertainment trade union.

The Best in the Business

Ollie Potter had a very long career in entertainment as an actor, presenter and celebrity. He was a large, jolly man, camp and known for having a much younger and very handsome Italian husband. They had appeared in the pages of the glossy magazines on numerous occasions. He was holding court in the stalls bar of a stunning Victorian theatre. Jack's wife Tilly was appearing in a play there. Ollie had met Jack when he and Tilly had appeared in pantomime together; he was a very popular pantomime dame. He wouldn't recognise Jack, though; he was not important and was much younger then, without a beard, when Tilly appeared with Ollie. Jack's ears pricked up when he heard him talk about her.

"Of course, Tilly Mulhern is the best in the business by far."

Jack smiled then and felt so proud of her.

"I even tried her, and she's the only woman I ever did that with. This was before I met my Lorenzo, of course."

Jack sank back into the booth with a sickening feeling as he heard the whoops and hollers from Ollie's posse as they hung onto his every word. Jack wanted to go over there and ask him what he meant, but he was stuck in that booth, his legs no longer working.

Jack met Tilly at school. Childhood sweethearts. She still had her sticky-out teeth before her new expensive smile. Jack loved those teeth and her quirky little snaggle tooth almost as much as she hated them. He loved every part of her, and this imperfection just made her more real and his own. Of course, Jack knew even as a young teen that you can't own a person, yet you can own their heart and let them own yours. Tilly had always had Jack's heart. They were each other's first everything; she was also his last.

Tilly had talent. She was always the star of any school production. Although technically too young for a lot of the parts in the local amateur groups, with the right hair and makeup, she seemed able to transform herself and steal the show.

Jack went to university after sixth form, and she got into a prestigious drama academy. It was a shock at first for her to realise that she had been a big fish in a small pond back home. She was amongst many equal talents, but eventually, her talent won out. Although parted, they still managed to spend weekends together. He knew her friends, and she knew his. Long-distance relationships can be difficult, but he never really worried about their faithfulness.

After graduation, she did the odd small television role here and there, but her real love was the theatre. She dreamed of appearing in the West End but excelled in regional theatre tours, even touring Europe with some productions. She came alive on the stage, and Jack never tired of watching her.

So, settled in his career as an engineer, they married. She was the most beautiful bride. He had seen her in a wedding dress onstage a couple of times, but she had never looked more radiant than when she walked down that aisle. She seemed to sparkle somehow and shined more that day than she ever had on a stage, as good as she was.

When they married, he realised they would have to spend much of their time apart as she appeared on stage at night or toured. They prepared for that and had a routine. A quick phone call just before the half-hour call. A more extended call or Facetime when she was back at her digs. Of course, her adrenalin levels were always high after she appeared onstage, and she often struggled to sleep. She didn't want to socialise with the cast, though she wanted to spend time with Jack. This meant he frequently had some very late nights or early mornings chatting with her, but it was worth it to spend any time with her.

After five years of living their lives like this, with her touring or having short runs in various regional theatres, she got a part in a soap. She knew from the start that it would only be a 12-month contract with no hope of a longer stay as her character had a very definite story arc that would result in her death and a murder trial, with the accused being a longstanding, well-loved character in the show. It was a wonderful time, though. They did get to spend more time together in the evenings, and it all seemed a bit more normal. While she still didn't exactly have a regular nine-to-five job, they could see that a role like this would enable them to eventually have the family they yearned for.

When her role was over, the image of her splashed with blood lying on the pavement made her a hot property. Suddenly, she was offered more extensive tours and higher billing as long as they could print the name of her soap under her name.

So, that brought them here; it was a fun play she was in, playing the role of a ship's cook aboard a pirate ship. She was cheeky and irreverent, and the audience was in no doubt that she was in charge of that ship more than the captain of the pirate ship. He was played by an ageing TV heartthrob, Ty Porter, famous for his tight trousers and his curtain of dark hair. It was now looking a little too dark as he approached his fifties. Tilly had appeared in many shows with him, and he always got along famously with Jack when their paths had crossed. Jack had considered him a friend as they had a laugh together; now he was starting to wonder if Ty was actually laughing at him, not with him.

Ollie continued, "Of course, she only does her speciality now that she is married. Before then she offered the full works to anyone she thought would help her career. She wasn't fussy at all. Once she got married, she refused anything more than oral, but trust me, she is the best at that. Believe me, I'm an expert on fellatio, and she is a queen of it."

Jack looked down at the flowers he had brought her as part of his surprise. He wasn't meant to be here tonight but join her tomorrow. A problem at work with one of the machines meant an unexpected day off, so he decided to surprise her. Looks like the surprise was on Jack; he knew that Ollie was speaking the truth. Although he'd had no one other than Tilly to compare with, he knew how amazing she was at giving oral. He also knew that she loved it.

He had often sat quietly at work when he heard the other blokes talk about getting their increasingly rare blowjobs like it was something their wives suffered for a special occasion. Jack knew that Tilly really got off on it, got off on the power she had to literally bring him to his knees. Of course, he would never have talked to the other blokes about his love life with Tilly. It was sacred, or he thought it was.

"Of course, Ty is reaping the benefits of Tilly's skills on this tour almost exclusively. Before and after every performance, he tells me. He finds it very relaxing now he has had to give up the sauce on doctor's orders."

"Almost exclusively?" queried his friend with a pink stripe in his hair.

"Well, she still gives a blowjob to any member of the team celebrating a birthday. Silly cow hasn't even noticed that they all seem to have had a birthday during this tour. Most of the stagehands here seemed to have had a birthday this week, just by chance," he guffawed.

"The little actor who plays the cabin boy couldn't believe his luck when he found out what his gift from her was."

"But he's just a kid," the pink-striped one declared.

"No, he's just short, ideal to get around the child labour laws. He might look thirteen, but he's actually nineteen. His birthday blowjob off Miss Tilly was apparently the first he had ever received; bless him. Mind you," leaned in Ollie, "If I'm any judge, he will soon be batting for our team, but he just hasn't realised it yet. The closet door is just a little ajar at the moment, but I think it will soon be fully open."

Ollie's posse laughed and hollered as Jack reached inside his jacket for a pen to scratch out what he had written on the card within the flowers.

Tilly,

I was so proud to hear Ollie Potter say that you are considered the best in the business until I realised he wasn't talking about your acting talent but your oral skills. You stole the show tonight; your talent did that, nothing else. You stole my heart once; you can have it back.

Jack

He walked over to Ollie and waited for a lull in the conversation.

"Excuse me, Mr Potter. I'm sorry to interrupt. I wondered if you could give these to Miss Mulhern. I'm a big fan. I hoped to give them to her myself, but I've got to go. I've just received some bad news."

"Of course, dear boy, I am happy to. Sorry about your bad news."

As he walked away, I heard the pink-striped one say,

"Handsome guy, he looked so sad; Pity it wasn't his birthday. Miss Mulhern could have cheered him up no end."

As Jack exited the stage door bar to their laughter, he turned off his phone and went to find a place to lay his head for the night, not that sleep would be forthcoming.

Meanwhile, Ollie made his way backstage; he found Tilly on her knees, finishing Ty's last blow of the day. Ollie was surprised to feel himself stirring; he was almost tempted to ask for the same treatment, but then he thought of his lovely Lorenzo; he wouldn't do anything to risk what he had with him.

"Flowers, Ollie, how kind of you," Tilly smiled as she wiped her mouth delicately.

"Not from me, dear girl. A fan. I think he hoped to give them to you, but he had to rush off."

Tilly smiled and opened the attached card. Her scream reverberated around the theatre.

"Ollie, what have you done?" she sobbed as she beat his chest with her fist.

Of course, the show had to go on, and there was still the Saturday matinee and evening performance to complete before the tour moved on. Ty had spoken to the company in private and emphasised that no one should have any birthdays for the foreseeable future. As for Tilly, her professionalism took over, and no one in the audience would ever have realised that her heart was breaking.

She loved Jack with all her heart. The other stuff meant nothing to her; before they were married, she slept with many men, from her lecturers at college, casting agents and other cast members who she felt could help her get on. All that stopped when she married Jack, apart from her speciality. She wasn't even sure why she did it. If she was honest, she did, as she loved the power she felt; she loved it when they told her she was the best they had ever had. She liked being the best. She liked the variety; she liked all the different cocks in her mouth, different tastes, textures and sizes. All different and all for her. It was an addiction for her.

None of them, however, had ever meant anything to her. Only Jack counted; the other things she did didn't count in her eyes. She knew that they would in Jack's eyes, though. That's why she had been so careful. She raged. She wouldn't have been in this mess if only Jacob Potter had kept his mouth shut. It didn't dawn on her that she wouldn't be in this predicament if only she could have kept her mouth shut.

Jack was not answering her calls or messages. Eventually, Ty took her to one side,

"Look, sweetie. I know you are in shock, but you have been a trouper--a real pro. I've decided that tomorrow, instead of going directly to the next venue, I'll go and call on Jack. Explain things and see if I can pave the way for him to at least talk to you. You know I have always got on with Jack. Maybe I can make him understand. You know that what happens on tour stays on tour."

"Ty, Jack always really liked you. He will hate you now, and you will only make everything worse. Please just let him calm down a bit first. Nothing will make any difference now."

Of course, Ty didn't listen. He hadn't listened when his agent advised him not to do that commercial for incontinence pads, and that had made him a fortune. Ty was sure that he could sort this out.

He was pleasantly surprised when he arrived at the smart garden terrace that Tilly had called home.

Jack tried to slam the door in his face, but Ty had already inserted his foot in the door, just like he had when he guest-starred in that episode of The Bill back in the nineties. He didn't recall it hurting as much as it did when Jack squashed his foot. Jack, giving up, walked down the hallway and allowed Ty to follow him.

"If you want to hit me, Jack, I understand, but I ask you not to hit the face."

For some reason, this amused the sleep-deprived Jack, who started to laugh hysterically.

"Typical bastard actor," he managed to splutter. "No, Ty, you are quite safe. I won't be hitting you. Apparently, I would have to hit half of Equity to feel any better, so it's really not worth it. You're not worth it."

"She loves you, Jack; she's devastated. It never meant anything to her, you know."

"Well, it meant something to me."

"I know, I realise that. Look, if I thought for a second that this would end your marriage, I wouldn't have got involved, but it was hard to resist."

Jack just stared, "Yes, I'm sure that it was. Well, go on then, Ty, my old mate. Isn't it time for you to give me the big speech, the denouement? I'm sure you have prepared a fine speech for the end of Act Two. So, you are here to play the hero. Let's hear it. You've got a captive audience."

Jack sat and waited, which unsettled Ty, as Jack was exactly right. He did have an excellent speech that he had prepared during his drive over. It was a great one, too. It almost rivalled his excellent speech at the end of that popular courtroom drama he'd toured the South Coast with. It was particularly popular in Weymouth, he recalled.

He suddenly didn't feel like it. All actors want to feel that the audience is with them, urging them on. He suddenly knew that there was nothing he could say that would ever get Jack on his side again.

"It won't make any difference, will it?" he said. "Whatever I say."

Jack just stared at him.

"I'll see myself out, and for what it's worth, I'm really sorry for my part in it. I did consider you a mate, and if I'm honest, I don't have too many of them."

Ty could barely face Tilly with what he had done, but at least it confirmed her worst fears. She finished the tour and quickly joined another one. She arranged for some friends to collect her things and put them into storage as Jack refused any communication with her unless it was through the solicitors. She briefly moved back into her parents' home when her next tour finished. Lying in her childhood bed, the very bed where she had lost her virginity with Jack, she cried for all she had done and all that she had lost.

It took her years to get over the loss of Jack; she never really did until she met Michael. He got through her barriers and was keen to marry her. She had told him early on about what had happened with Jack; he told her in no uncertain terms that he would never put up with her behaving like that as her first husband had.

"But he didn't put up with it, that's the point," she told Michael.

"Well, he had the right idea, so if you want us to make a go of this, you keep your lips and any other part of you for me and me alone, or you'll find yourself back at your mother's."

Tilly had learnt her lesson and loved Michael; she was also anxious to have children before it was too late, so they married. They were happy together, and even though they discovered that Michael was infertile, she loved him enough to give up on her dream of having children.

It was nine years after their divorce that she saw Jack again. She was on tour again; her billing wasn't as high as it had once been, but her agent was working hard to get her some TV exposure. She was at an awkward age, too old to be the female lead and yet not old enough to play her mother. She had grabbed a coffee and a sticky bun in a café near the theatre when she saw Jack. He looked so handsome in his suit, and her breath caught when she looked at him. She still loved him, she always would, she knew that. Being faced with him unexpectedly brought that sharply into focus.

Quietly, she joined him at his table; she noticed his wedding ring; it was very different to the one he had worn so proudly when they had been married.

Jack barely looked up from his phone.

"Play going well, I see. You got a nice mention in the review."

"It's only a small part, but it is an important one," she muttered.

"What do they say, there are no small parts?"

He smiled at her, then. God, she had missed that smile.

"How are you? How's married life?" he asked.

"It's good, thanks. He's a good man; he reminds me of you."

"Well, I hope you treat him better than me unless he approves of your other talents being spread around?"

"No, he certainly would disapprove; he made that perfectly plain when we married. I gave all that up long ago."

"Well, nice that you could give it up for the right person. I'm happy for you."

"As much as I love him, I'd leave him tomorrow if I thought I could be with you again."

"Such loyalty, as always, Tilly. Poor bastard, I feel sorry for him; I really do. He deserves better. Luckily, I found better."

With that, he passed over his phone, showing his wife, Meg, and their three boys all smiling out from his screensaver. He stood up from the table, kissed her lightly on the cheek, and smiled.

"Bye, Tilly; it turns out you weren't the best after all."