The Birds, Bees, and Carrots?

A silly, short story I was inspired to write around Easter.

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Lopplana Cottontail, Lana to her family and friends, peered over the dilapidated fence, eyeing the feast below the grassy hillock where she was crouching. The farmer's garden was at its most bountiful and beautiful. Yellow, red, brown, and especially green and orange vegetables matching the falling leaves were a treasure before her.

She rested a hand on one of the fence posts and steadied herself, digging her long bunny feet into the turf, and then she reared up on her powerfully muscular legs. From there, her two long ears, one erect and the other slightly flopped over, surveyed the surroundings. She wrinkled her small pink nose and sniffed the air for signs of danger.

Lana shivered. Partially from the sweet and earthy produce wafting on the wind but also from the chill autumn air. Even though her lower rabbit half was furred up to her hips, her upper, human half was topless and exposed. Primarily because clothes felt too restrictive. The price for such freedom was her skin flushing with goose-bumps when the wind blew -- especially her nipples -- they were constantly hard little nubs this time of year. The most she was willing to concede to was to wear her favorite cotton sleeves embroidered with carrots tied to her upper arm with a tight pink bow. And a heart necklace her mom had given her.

Sensing no movement anywhere nearby, she dropped to all fours, laid flat on her belly, and squirmed under the lowest fence beam. She bit her lip as the grass brushed over her breasts.

'Why did mom have to pass on such big boobies to me?'

The young bunny girl frowned as she felt her backside and puffy tail catch on the railing. Wiggling her hips, she sucked in her breath, trying to make herself thinner as she twisted and finally squished through.

'I'm not big! It's just the price I pay for strengthening my hopping muscles and... and very thick fur,' she asserted to herself.

She stood up and brushed off the dirt. Checking to make sure she still had her necklace. She clicked it open. Inside was a picture of her mom and eight siblings. She was the oldest, and at eighteen, she had decided to leave so there'd be more room in their small home.

Hopping down the hill, she stopped behind a large watermelon. Comically, it did nothing to hide her ample form. Surrounded by a cornucopia of tasty things, she made her way to her first appetizer.

Thankfully, the farmer planted the squash next to the lettuce. Through quite an unexpected accident, Lana learned the crooked-neck squash made for quite the pleasant seating arrangement. Lifting her leg over, she straddled the gourd, rotating it till she found the bumpiest side, and plopped her butt down. She always felt a little dirty doing it, but the narrow end of the crook, if it grew properly, aimed upward at the perfect angle to insert into her tail hole. Lana adjusted herself so her pussy lips were kissing the desired spot. Then she pushed back, feeling the tip penetrate her backside.

Reaching for a head of lettuce, she tore off a leaf and began nibbling while slowly rocking her hips, enjoying the little waves of pleasure that somewhat lessened the strange heat between her legs.

Having downed her fourth leaf, she felt ready for something more substantial. She dismounted, leaving a wet patch behind, and hopped to another corner of the garden.

Momma rabbit always fed her grasses when she lived back home. She said too many rich veggies weren't a balanced diet, and while they didn't taste as good, Lana tried to be an obedient girl. Fortunately, and because of her recent experience with the squash, eating it was made more passable, having other things to keep her mind off the bitter, chewy texture.

She hopped toward the pumpkin patch, just beyond where the alfalfa grasses marked the border of the garden. Perusing pumpkins with straight stems, she found a suitable one and spit on it. Certain it was suitably coated, she sat down. The stem penetrated her anus easily, despite its thicker girth, due to her being loosened up earlier. Savoring the full feeling, she spread her thighs and pawed idly at her needy puss as she gnawed on the mature alfalfa stalks.

With a little room left in her belly, she was more than ready for dessert. She skirted the edge of the garden and made a bee-line for her favorite after-dinner snack. Reaching the familiar spot, her ears drooped.

'Why aren't they here!?! They should be right here -- succulent green tops with sweet crunchiness underneath!' She stomped her foot.'Where are my carrots!'

Looking around, she spotted something familiar. Well, a piece of it, anyway. She picked up a carrot slice off the ground and inspected it.'Odd! Why is there only a piece of one? And here's another... and another.' She continued to follow a path of carrot bits until she was standing in front of the open barn door.

'Of course! The farmer probably picked them and was eating one while moving the rest in here. Such a messy eater. Shouldn't waste food. But that means... he took them inside! But it's kinda odd that the door is open. I never see it open unless someone is going in or out.'

After dashing to the side of the door, Lana peeked in but couldn't see anything in the dark interior. No odd smells and the lack of wind only heightened the sound of her own breathing. She cautiously entered, one hop at a time, ready to bolt at anything out of place.

'No sign of the farmer.' She relaxed a little and hopped around some shelves on a nearby wall and inspected crates filled with potatoes, radishes, and barrels heavy with apples and pears. Turning a corner, she spotted a familiar milking stool.

She usually only came to the farm late in the day, but earlier that spring, she had visited not long after planting season to eat the tender bulbs and shoots. She was enjoying a particularly savory shoot when she heard bellowing from the resident cowgirl getting milked. That in itself wasn't unusual, but this time it was mixed with moaning. She was making such a racket that Lana's curiosity got the better of her.

She had peaked in a window and confirmed the cowgirl had been most certainly getting milked. As she leaned forward against a horizontal beam, the farmer was pinching her nipples (bigger than Lana's own), seemingly doing an excellent job at drawing frothy white milk into a half-filled pail. What Lana found odd, though, was his position. He was behind her, lying over her back, arms wrapped around her. His pants were around his ankles, and his hips earnestly thrust into her backside.

Lana wasn't sure if they were mating, having only been told about the act by her mom. She had no basis for comparison. Whatever they were doing, she fascinatedly watched the cowgirl's happy face contorting in ecstasy for a while but eventually, she grew bored and left.

Shaking the memory away, she turned her attention back to the carrot trail extending further inside to a far corner of the barn. 'There they are! My carrots!' She galloped over and stopped before a half-opened crate filled nearly to the brim. She was about to reach into it for one when she noticed a large and lumpy saddle blanket with a hole cut in the middle. Carrots were strewn all about, and a pair of those things humans wore on their feet were sticking out from one end of the blanket.

'Shouldn't let the ones on the floor go to waste.' She crawled up on the blanket.'Huh...one of these things is not like the others.' A short, fat, tan carrot was sticking out of the hole. She cautiously poked it, causing it to twitch slightly. Leaning forward, she sniffed it.'Doesn't smell like a carrot, but it's hard to tell with all the other smells in here.'

Shrugging, she reached for a more familiar carrot when the blanket suddenly grabbed her. Terror flooded her veins as she wrestled to detach herself from the dusty fabric. For thirty seconds of blind panic, she struggled, only to realize she was getting nowhere, so she stopped struggling. A corner of the blanket had fallen away, revealing the face of the farmer. He was just holding her in place, not too hard but firmly enough so she couldn't escape.

They stared at each other. Lana was very unsure of what to make of this situation. She was very shy of others, and it didn't matter which species. She had gone many years of not getting caught until now.

The farmer didn't look as scary up close, but she stiffened when he suddenly reached out, grabbed a carrot, and slid it across her lips. She side-eyed him, wondering what he was playing at. However, she opened her mouth and bit off the tip. Chewing nervously, she stiffened again as he slowly loosed his hold around her midsection and leaned back against the wall.

Every instinct was telling her to run, but the way he kept the carrot dangling in front of her kept her strangely rooted in place.

In response to a question from the farmer, Lana voiced, "What am I doing here? Nothing. Most certainly not looking for carrots..."

"It's ok for me to eat them, but there's a special one you want me to try? Which? This one? Pretty sure that's not a carrot. I checked. It's not even orange."

"Why can yellow, purple, and even white carrots exist but not a tan one? Well, I don't know, but I am almost definitely sure it's not a carrot."

"It's a new type of carrot, and it's better? Impossible." She grabbed one from the box. "This is meal perfection right here."

"Don't give me that look. These are obviously better in every way. Yours looks all limp and sad. Here, we'll compare them. If mine is better, I get to eat as many as I want, and if yours is, I'll try it."

She scooted close and laid her proper carrot next to the farmer's weird one. "See? Mine is longer and better proportioned," she began to say. "Wait, is yours growing? It's... it's getting bigger! Hey, you're cheating!"

"Of course, it's cheating! What? No, you're right. We didn't establish any such rule at the beginning, and a carrot that can get big fast without having to wait for it to grow is kinda nice, I suppose."

"Ok, fine, you win," she pouted. "Don't try to console me by scratching my ears. Mine is still a prettier color."

She poked at the farmer's carrot, now long and stiff. "I still don't think it looks anything like one," she mumbled. "What's up with this little hole in the end? It's where the flavor comes out of? I see. Well, a promise is a promise."

Lana opened her mouth wide, intending to take a large, determining bite.

"Why are you stopping me? You just told me to eat it. I should only lick it 'cause it gets the flavor out better?" She frowned. "The enjoyment comes from the sweetness, so I suppose the crunchiness is only a fun aside."

Lana began licking the tip, running her tongue over and around, flicking underneath, and occasionally nibbling with full lips. A liquid bead appeared.

"Is this the flavor? Finally! For growing such a weird carrot, did you have to make eating it so complicated? It's more fun this way? If you say so."

She lapped at the bead. "It is kinda sweet. There better be more than just this. There will be? Good."

She resumed her work on extracting more of the delicious treat. She wanted to take more of the carrot in her mouth, but her long front teeth made eating in this manner challenging. She could only manage by angling it toward the sides and pushing the tip against the smooth inner lining of her cheeks.

The farmer tapped her shoulder.

"Now what?" she asked, exasperated. "I don't like to be disturbed when I'm eating. You want me to lay on top of you while I do it? Why? You're cold? Makes sense. I often wondered how you humans stay warm without any fur. No wonder you have to wear," she pointed at his shirt, "whatever these are."

She crawled on top of him and turned around. "Can you pet me? I guess. I am rather soft, especially my tail?" She wiggled her butt and giggled.

"Why am I so wet? I get like this during this time of year. I don't know why. It's such a bother. Rubbing myself alleviates it for a while, but then it comes back shortly after."

She tried to resume her eating when she jumped at an unexpected sensation.

"Why are you licking me? Are you trying to eat me?! I've heard some humans eat bunnies, and I can assure you I don't taste good at all and... what? You were just trying to clean my slit? You shouldn't bother! Every time I do it, it just gets wetter. Better to let it air dry. You want to keep trying? Suit yourself."

Lana went back to licking. Her breathing grew heavy. After several minutes, she had to admit it felt better than rubbing herself on any vegetable. "Why does it feel so much better when you do it?"

"Have I ever mated before? No, what does that have to do with you cleaning me? I feel this way because I'm in heat? Really? Momma told me I might experience it one day."

"Why haven't I mated yet? Because I haven't had any interest. I prefer to eat and sleep most of the time, maybe lay in the sun."

"No, It's not because I don't know how. A bunny boy climbs on a bunny girl, shakes his hips, and later the bunny girl has a litter."

"What's that look for? There's more to it? I left some parts out? No, I didn't. What parts? It's easier to show me? Nah, I'm not ready for a litter yet. I can't have a litter with a human? Well then, what's the point in your showing me then? Oh, it's practice for whenever I meet a bunny boy, and it feels good, and it might make that feeling go away."

Lana chewed her lip. "Those do sound like some good reasons... but first, let me finish eating. Now shush." She smothered his face with her pussy, intent on making sure there were no more distractions. Taking his entire length into her mouth, she resumed her oral efforts.

'It really is a strange carrot -- smooth and hot. It has veins like a leaf. Especially this very substantial one. I can't keep my tongue from tracing over. And these two little dangly things remind me of plums. Apricots? For some reason, I can tell I want whatever's inside.'

The flavor was getting stronger and making her head feel floaty. She noticed the farmer was squirming and moaning a lot for some reason. The slight vibrations from his moans did kinda feel good, especially when he was nibbling the little bump at the top of her slit.

She lifted her hips. "Um, could you stick a finger in my butt, please? I like something in there when I'm eating."

Spreading her thick cheeks, he prodded her anus with his thumb. She relaxed welcomed his digit in.

She was growing a tad concerned with the intensity of the tingles between her legs. All the attention she was receiving was far stronger than any she had felt before. It was building up to something. But her nervousness only heightened her curiosity to see what would happen when it peaked.

A sudden groan brought her attention back to her task as he suddenly tensed up. She was caught off guard when he thrust up, pushing himself into the back of her throat. She coughed and sputtered as a burst of 'flavor' flooded her mouth. She swallowed a bit and pulled back, managing to keep from spilling the rest. Running her tongue through the sticky stuff, she swallowed it thoughtfully.

When he finally stopped, she pulled off and looked crossly at the farmer. "You lied to me! This isn't a carrot... it's a mushroom! I don't know why I didn't realize it before. It's shaped like one, and it's even bitter. I often hop around with one deep in my butt or nibble on the tops when I'm sunbathing in the meadow."

"You didn't lie to me? You don't have to deny it. You probably thought I wouldn't like mushrooms, but it's ok. I don't mind them. I was just surprised. Still," she licked her lips, "yours was strangely tastier than usual."

"Does my lower mouth want some? I don't have another mouth. I do? Where? My slit?"

She rolled over onto her back and hunched forward. With both hands, she separated her labia, craning her neck to see where the farmer was pointing. He ran his fingers through her velvety folds. Coating his finger with her arousal before pushing a finger into her vagina.

Lana gasped. "I... I didn't know there was another hole there!" She stared transfixed as his finger disappeared and reappeared. The unfamiliar sensation was the closest she had ever felt to having that mysterious itch scratched when he suddenly stopped.

"Hey, why'd you stop!?! Can... can you do it a little longer? You want to put your carrot in there? I don't think it's going to fit."

"It will? Well... everything's felt wonderful so far, so I'll trust you."

He took her onto his lap. "Alright, so I just sit on it? I'm good at sitting on things." She looked down between them and lined herself up. She inhaled sharply as the thickness spread her quivering insides.

"This... this feels amazing!" She lifted and sank back down, trying different angles, twisting her hips to get him to reach ever deeper. "This is the best thing I've ever felt!"

Grabbing her butt to better leverage himself, he met her halfway with each thrust, seeking to bottom out in her.

She was too engrossed with the new sensations to notice the farmer was prodding her anus with a carrot. She gave a wanton mewl at the sudden penetration. "Yes, great idea! Fill both my holes! Put another in... no, actually, put two in my butt!"

The farmer went one step beyond and stuffed her with three: adding the third in her mouth to muffle the panting cries.

Lana lost track of how many times they mated, but the sun had long since sunk behind the mountains.

"Your carrot wasn't half bad."

She turned over and snuggled up to the farmer. His cream oozing out of her satisfied hole over a carrot still stuffed in her butt.

"I'm feeling a bit sleepy, so if you don't mind, I'm gonna take a little snooze right here and when I wake up, I want to do it again."

She laid her head on his stomach, took the weird, but now her favorite, flaccid carrot in her mouth and suckled it, mumbling something about not being a picky eater ever again. Drained from an eventful evening, she drifted off to sleep.

He patted her head, laid back and pulled the saddle blanket over both of them.

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