The Birthday Present

Author's note: I wanted to share my deep appreciation for the wonderful recommendations made by the talented editor, neuroparenthetical.

The Birthday Gift: Menage-a-trois Closure

Alex's birthday was drawing near. As Sara scheduled meetings with clients, she kept running across the reminder in her calendar that she hadn't had the heart to delete when their relationship had ended. They had broken up five months and four women ago. Sara hadn't felt about any of the women she'd been with since Alex even remotely how she'd felt about her tomboy.

Maybe it was because Sara was still very much in love with Alex when they broke up. Usually, a relationship ran its course, whether for a single night or over the course of several months or years. But Sara had broken up with Alex because their needs were mis-timed, not because it was over between them.

Despite the standard dating advice advocating for a "clean break" after a relationship had ended, Sara had texted with Alex intermittently since breaking up. The last time Sara had reached out, she was on the verge of entering a new relationship and wanted to test the waters with Alex one last time before taking the plunge with another. Alex was cordial, but there was a new distance in their correspondence. Perhaps she was getting serious with another woman, or just growing weary of their ongoing correspondence that never led anywhere. Sara had decided then, with a clear conscience, to commit to another who had been even more excited to commit to her. She entered her first real relationship since she'd been with Alex.

Now with the leaves on the trees changing color two months later, Sara wondered if she'd been wrong to prioritize commitment in leaving Alex. She had her commitment now, but never experienced the passionate ardor with her new lover that she had felt from the outset with Alex.

It was cuffing season: lesbians everywhere paired off for anticipated cuddling through the holidays and long, cold nights. Sara wondered whether it would be worse to be alone for the holidays or to be with someone who made her feel passion's absence all the more keenly. She felt as though they'd already been married for years and had drifted apart, while the reality was that they were still very much in the "honeymoon" phase of getting to know each other. It was Sara who had let memories of her past with Alex interfere repeatedly with the budding romance.

They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Sara had tried that, repeatedly, without success. Although counterintuitive, maybe it was time to try getting back under Alex: get under her to get over her?

She wasn't looking for a relationship with Alex anymore. They were painfully mismatched in their desire for monogamy. But what if she met Alex on her own turf—for the threesome Alex had said she'd wanted for her birthday when they were together? The presence of the third stranger should keep the evening lighthearted and from becoming "too" relationship-like with Alex.

Sara decided to put an end to the monologue in her head and pulled out her phone. She texted Alex.

Sara: We're in the zone of your birthday...still up for that birthday threesome? ;-)

Her heart pounded in her chest. It was nice to feel invested in the outcome of the text session she'd just initiated.

Sara hadn't felt particularly invested in her relationship of the past two months. She didn't want to hurt her, but she also doubted she'd miss her. If Sara had met her current girlfriend before meeting Alex they might have had a beautifully loving, mutually supportive, and somewhat stultifying relationship.

She realized just then, only having texted Alex, that she was cheating. Sara had been so hurt by Alex's foray into ENM, and yet had herself become a serial monogamist who had just made plans to cheat for the first time. Were the women so different? Sara wasn't sure how she could have screaming orgasms with a thoughtful, caring partner just the night before who hadn't even crossed her mind when setting up a threesome minutes ago. Regardless of what happened with Alex, Sara realized she needed to end things with her current girlfriend immediately to ease her conscience.

Alex was usually prompt with her text responses. For better and for worse: she was always "on": a woman of action, always pushing opportunities forward. Sara still hadn't heard back when she checked her phone for the 22^nd time in the past 4 hours. Having not reached Alex, she turned to Alexa.

"Alexa: play 'Past Lives' by Kesha," Sara directed.

The familiar music flooded the room:

We were lovers in a past life

I can see it in your green eyes

Maybe you were one of my wives

In a long-lost tribe

There's just somethin' 'bout you I know

Started centuries ago, though

You see, your kiss is like a lost ghost

o nly I would know

But I, I keep on falling for you

Time after time...

It had been their song, and Sara hadn't listened to it once since she started seeing someone else. She turned to it now for the lyrical promise of being with Alex in another life to come, if not again in this lifetime.

A text from Alex appeared as their song continued.

Alex: Sara—what a surprise.

Kesha continued: "I'll make you mine. Time after time..."

Sara entered full overthinking mode: analyzing the single line she had from Alex, Kesha's lyrics, and trying to figure out how to make Alex hers again-at least for a night in this lifetime.

Alexa had mispronounced Kesha's title, with a short "I" sound instead of a long "I" sound. The mispronunciation changed the title's meaning: the past lives on. Sara appreciated this new read. Perhaps she and Alex weren't strictly past tense. If she could get this threesome scheduled for Alex's birthday weekend, they'd have future plans, and would be very present, for at least an hour.

Alex: Sounds like a very special gift. Are you sure you're up for it?

Sara bit her lower lip. She wasn't sure of anything. She was pretty sure Alex was with other women-things may have gotten more serious with one. Or perhaps it was a whole new crew. Sara knew she had no right to inquire- but she still wondered who Alex was with and what date night looked like for them.

In truth, she wasn't really up for hearing the details.

Sara: Yeah- no strings attached. Birthday sex and crossing the threesome off your wish list.

As soon as Sara sent the text, she regretted it. Alex might be having threesomes with lovers regularly now. Since Alex had chosen ENM over her, it was reasonable to think she was heavily invested in experiencing all there was to experience in the bedroom.

Alex: Wow-you are special.

Alex's text was well-intentioned but landed poorly with Sara. Sara didn't want to be hearing belatedly about how "special" she was, when she knew she hadn't been "special" enough for Alex to commit to. And the "wow" was infuriating as well...it implied surprise. Had Alex not realized how special she was before?

Sara: You're welcome! ;-)

Sara felt like so many of her female friends, both straight and queer, who over-analyzed each text and subsequently made an art of sending breezy, seemingly carefree texts, while their reactions, unbeknownst to the other party, were anything but.

Alex: Have someone in mind?

Sara: Actually, no. Thought I'd see if you were game first.

Alex: No problem. It's a host duty.

In the privacy of her own bedroom, Sara rolled her eyes. She knew full well that they weren't planning to "make love." Still, hearing their upcoming sexcapade linked with the word "duty" and reading Alex referring to herself as a "host," as though she were hosting a book club, was off-putting.

If Sara needed any reassurance that their tryst wasn't going to be relationally impactful for Alex, the message had been received. Sara recognized she'd been the first one to set the tone by using the words "no strings attached." She reminded herself that she should feel grateful that their evening's correspondence validated that they didn't make for good relationship material. It should make it easier to keep things strictly physical.

Sara: Let me know when you find the lucky lady and when to meet up.

Sara was mindful of deleting the "we" language she'd inadvertently reverted to in the first draft of her text.

Alex: Will do. Goodnight.

Would it have been better or worse if Alex had signed off with, Goodnight, Babe?

Was it better to welcome the small intimacies headed into a last round of intimacy, or did their absence make for better boundaries for the subsequent transition back to a lack of contact? Alex was probably being responsible by not using her former term of endearment.

Sara felt the term's absence and wished Alex had been a little less responsible.

She hadn't anticipated how such short discussions stood to impact her. Sara contemplated that this might be precisely why so many post-break-up bedroom romps involved a drunken late-night rendezvous, where someone gave little-to-no advance notice.

She decided she'd prefer to be surprised and adapt in the moment to having to discuss and analyze anything further. Although femmes weren't her thing, Sara had every confidence Alex would find a third appealing enough for an evening's entertainment. The tomboy had never had a problem landing the most attractive woman in the room.

Things felt so right turning down the corner of Alex's street again, for the first time in months, as she had several times per week previously.

She lingered in the car before getting out, wanting to prolong this moment of comfort and familiarity. Whatever complexity might lay ahead, it was possible it would be worth it for these two minutes of remembered simple bliss: coming home to Alex.

Alex stepped out of her garage and waved to Sara. Instead of Alex's face lighting up and the women bounding over to one another and entering through the garage as they always had in the past, Alex waited for Sara at her oversized front door, and invited her inside as they came face-to-face.

Passing in front of the tomboy, Sara saw that Alex's home was just as she remembered it. She headed directly to the spotless kitchen sink to wash her hands. Drying her hands on the tan waffle-textured towel afterwards, it registered for the blonde that such details that had seemed insignificant previously, like the specifics of her brand of dish soap were now available to Sara once again, should she wish to retain them.

Alex leaned against the island in her kitchen, observing Sara quietly. Without another activity to keep her hands occupied, Sara turned to face Alex, clasping her hands in front of her, several feet and dozens of words unspoken separating them. The evening had begun to feel like Alex might actually be hosting a book club, rather than a threesome.

"I hope you'll have a happy birthday next Tuesday, Alex!" Sara said. She kept her voice upbeat, hoping she could will its energy and cheer to serve as a bridge to creating a more celebratory mood. "Did your sister send another gag gift this year?"

Sara's tone did seem to help Alex, who began bantering with her while busying herself opening the cabinet to the right of the refrigerator and setting three glasses out on the marble counter. Next, she pulled a bottle of Sara's favorite Cabernet Sauvignon out, a half-full bottle of her favorite scotch for herself, and a Chardonnay, presumably for the third party. The trio of glasses lined up on the marble served as a promise of their evening's plans and shifted the energy in the room: from what was missing between them in the past, to who was missing from their immediate future.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. For the first time that evening, Sara felt a surge of genuine excitement. She peered over Alex's shoulder in anticipation as the brunette opened her heavy oak door.

Upon viewing the woman on the other side, Sara felt a deep sense of appreciation. While she had no doubt that Alex could pick up an array of stunning women in person or online to bring back for an evening, Alex had chosen a pleasant woman who was relatively ordinary-looking—in other words, forgettable.

"Hi, I'm Brooke!" the woman said amiably. I'm sorry I'm late. I got a little lost. All these houses look alike out here."

Alex took a great deal of pride in maintaining her home. Realizing that Brooke's comment likely didn't land well, Sara exhaled a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding until just then. Sara smiled genuinely at Brooke, relieved at the feelings that weren't washing over her in real time: no jealousy, no insecurity, no fear of special connection. She was perfect. For all the times Alex's words missed the mark with Sara, the archer's actions spoke louder and always hit their mark.

Brooke had been intended as Sara's gift for Alex, but Alex had reciprocated in the most sensitive way, in selecting Brooke for Sara. Alex's swagger returned now for Brooke's benefit. The tomboy suavely removed the redhead's jacket, inquiring solicitously about traffic on her drive over as she did. As she folded Brooke's jacket neatly over her arm to transport it to her closet, Alex's eyes connected with Sara's, which smiled back warmly, gratefully. There it was: genuine connection re-established between the two of them. The previous distance evaporated.

Alex strode confidently from her kitchen to her living room, handing off the pre-poured drinks to the two women who sat with legs crossed fetchingly towards one another, leaning slightly in as they chatted on her leather sofa.

The sight amused the tomboy. The femmes were trying hard to establish rapport conversationally, but were seated far enough away that a kiss would be unlikely to be exchanged without an intervention.

Alex seated herself in the gulf between them, spreading her knees widely as she did, brushing against both women's knees simultaneously. There was a palpable shift in the energy in the room. As though choreographed, the femmes flanking Alex simultaneously placed their drinks on the side tables adjacent.

With Alex having made first contact, Sara reciprocated, draping her hand across Alex's knee casually, as she had during every car ride they'd taken together: as though this weren't the first time in months. Feeling Sara's touch again, electricity coursed through Alex. She had a measured plan in place for giving both lovers the proper attention tonight. However, that now took a back seat to her urgent need to kiss Sara.

Alex turned to her right, brushing a stray blonde curl away from Sara's cheek briefly before cupping her jaw in her hand and brushing her lips against Sara's. Alex took Sara's lower lip in hers, sucking hungrily first, then running her tongue languidly along its length.

Brooke placed her hand tentatively on Alex's other knee: a reminder of her presence. The tomboy disentangled herself from Sara, rose from the sofa and pivoted to sitting on the coffee table. From her new vantage point, Alex lay a hand on each woman's knee, creating a proper triangle.

"Soon we'll all be getting better acquainted. Before we do, let's talk about how we want tonight to go. I'll start: Sara is the only one penetrating me and Sara doesn't want to be entered tonight. Brooke isn't into toys. Oh, and she has to get home in an hour to relieve her babysitter. Am I missing anything?"

"Front door only," giggled Brooke, nervously.

"Ah yes. Apologies. No anal for anyone here." Alex made it sound as though she were clarifying toppings on a pizza order.

Wanting to contribute to the conversation, Sara added: "We're celebrating Alex's birthday, so the focus should really be on her tonight."

"The best way to turn me on, is to relieve each of you of the excess clothing you're currently wearing," said Alex with a chuckle.

"Maybe you could both give me a hand with that," Brooke said, laying her hand across Alex's, positioned on her knee, and dragging both slowly up her bare thigh and half way up her hip. The soft fabric of her polyester skirt yielded easily, and soon the turquoise of her silk panties underneath was visible.

Sara wondered if Brooke had slept with Alex before: if that's why she was comfortable being so forward with her. She willed the thought away, and replaced it with a new curiosity for the opportunity to see Alex in this unique context, with another woman. She was curious.

Sara placed her hand on Brooke's shoulder, offering to unzip her.

Brooke turned away from Sara, smiling and lifting her hair up, to give Sara better access to the zipper at the nape of her neck. She had a lovely neck. Her zipper came down easily, exposing a matching turquoise bra strap hugging a well-toned back beneath. Brooke leaned forward and shrugged herself free from the encumbrance of her dress.

When she turned back around, a pair of perky, conical breasts saluted Sara and Alex from within their silky turquoise binding.

"Turnabout is fair play," giggled Brooke, signaling with a circling finger motion that Sara should turn around to be unzipped.

Brooke peeled the blonde's black dress down, looking coquettishly back at Alex over her shoulder as she did. She revealed a silky emerald green teddy, with black velveteen floral overlay beneath. It was one of the lingerie sets Sara had originally purchased to wear with Alex months ago.

Sara had shown Alex pictures of the set when it arrived...but hadn't had a chance to wear it for her before they'd broken up. Here with Brooke and Alex, Sara was glad that this wasn't the garment's virgin wear. She'd had a screaming orgasm while wearing it for another woman who had been her girlfriend only two weeks previously. Sara's second reflection on her serial monogamy, transformed then--from shame at having fulfilled her desire outside of a long-term relationship, to pride at having explored pleasure in the fleeting opportunities that had presented themselves.

With renewed dedication to the adventure ahead of her, Sara bent forward, her creamy, DD breasts practically spilling out of the top of her teddy, as she focused intently on undoing each of the buttons on the tomboy's business shirt. She made it halfway down her chest, but couldn't reach further, with Brooke's head beneath her, working on undoing Alex's thick leather belt. Sara pouted, looking up at Alex through her impossibly long lashes, batting them fetchingly for effect.

"Ok, ladies. I think it's time to move this party to the bedroom where we'll have more room," Alex said, rising. She removed her arm from her shirt's remaining sleeve and draped the garment over the back of the sofa as she departed for the master bedroom. She unzipped herself before ascending the stairs, managing to step out of her jeans remarkably gracefully, folding them under her arm like a newspaper as she scaled the final landing.

Alex had painted her bedroom a bold French blue since Sara had last seen it. Sara welcomed the dramatic change, though was slightly unsettled by things looking so differently in Alex's inner sanctuary from how she'd left them.

Brooke was unperturbed, and clambered up on the bed, drawing Sara out of her head and back to the events currently unfolding. Propping herself up on her elbows Brooke enthused, "I've always wanted to try this."

"I'll do my best to make it a memorable experience," Alex said, turning up her seductive charm while taking down both of Brooke's bra straps. She undid Brooke's bra from behind with a single hand: the fabric yielding as quickly as Brooke had.

The satiny turquoise fell away revealing two breasts like soft serve ice cream cones. Sara watched Alex's tongue dart across Brooke's nipple, and wanted a lick herself. She positioned herself above Brooke's other pillowy soft breast and lapped it repeatedly. Soon, Brooke began arching her back.