The Black Dick

"To Mrs. Mikey?"

"There ain't no Mrs. Mikey. At least there wasn't the thought of such stuff until you walked into my life."

"Cut the bull shite, Mikey. You knows you is talken to a homegirl."

"I knows, but that might be a good consideration, especially since you got tired of being the toilet girl and maybe wanna to be Mrs. Hammer?"

"Well, Mr. Mike, I think it's time we got the show on the road."

"Yep, in my world, you sample the goods before you propose."

And with that, she started to dance around the room, unwinding the long multi-colored sari, until she was nearly naked when she fell backward onto the bed, slipping the last piece of red silk fabric from her body.

When she raised her arms, I quickly made myself nude and fell into her arms, my erection between her thighs.

I wanted to give back as much as I intended to take, so I moved down until her knees were against my chest and her perfect vagina two inches from my lips. I honed in on my target and licked gently, moistening her vulva, inserting my tongue, and probing for her clitoris.

I know there is a myth that we niggas don't eat pussy, but I consider myself a champion at eaten poontang. Her puss was remarkable, and in some way, unique. It was distinctly female, tasted great, and although it took her a bit longer to climax than most pussies I've mentored, she did reach a full climax and was a mini squirter--wow!

I lay there feeling her ripe voluminous breasts pressed against my chest, he firm thighs pressed against mine, my cock in the safe harbor between them. Her body was shaved so closely that I could feel nothing of the pubic hair that usually would have chaffed my cock's stalk.

"Your skin is so soft. I can't even feel your pubes. How do you do that?"

"Depilatory, my dear, all of us who pass through those stages are devoid of any body hair."

"What do you mean by 'stages.'

"The passing from being born a male and bending one's gender to become a full-fledged female."

"You mean you are a..."

"Sex change, a transgender person, a gay boy who had his big penis looped off, grew these big tits and was refitted in Thailand with a pussy large enough to accommodate an endowed black man like yourself. Did your ten-inch swollen snake have any complaints?"

"None, just surprise?"

I was surprised, shocked, this most beautiful black woman in my arms was a ma...?"

Well, that makes no sense. Before I could say another word, Shawnee grabbed my penis, squeezed it in, and her mouth was on it. As she sucked it her long tongue snuck out of the side of her mouth and licked my balls. That was a first-time happening for me.

I swear I was close to coming, but she clamped her two long fingers around my dick and tucked it into her glory hole. I was unsure of what to do, but Mr. One eye swelled up beyond his full potential and then some, and I was fucking her/him/it like today was the end of the world as I knew it, and this was the best piece of pussy on the planet. The skin inside her vagina seemed to be magnetized and pulled and tugged at my dick like it was the North Star.

I wanted to continue fucking her. Yes, for me, it was a 'her' for the rest of our time, but Dickey Boy said it was time to cum. If there was a fire in her cunt, by God, I was ready to put it out. My balls let go with a torrent of cum juice, squirting out my cock's head, and by God, I put that fire out. That was when I realized my face was all wet. I'd been sucking on her big titty while I'd fucked her. I wiped off my cheek with my palm.

Shawnee said, "So is this here woman's pussy is up to snuff."

"Your pussy is proof that God exists, this puss, I grabbed it like Trump taught us, is God's art on earth. The best puss I ever slipped my dick into, babe."

[A mini note on gender realignment surgery:

Reassignment surgery for trans women provides several ways to create a clitoris from existing tissue. The most common practice is to separate the penile glans from the paired erectile tissues and reduce in size to simulate a clitoris.

Most trans women's bodies accept the relocation of glans penile tissue in the area of a woman's clitoris. A modified technique that preserves some erectile tissue to simulate clitoral engorgement and a small amount of foreskin to act as a clitoral hood.]

"Wait a sec, honey, it was me who slipped your dick into my nest when you were having doubts about continuing."

"I won't argue that. Instead, I will thank you. Now, my darling Shawnee, there is another thing I wanted to mention. I have just come into a large cash infusion in my Detective agency. I wonder if you might come out to Newark and be my Velda, that was the name of Mike Hammer's seductive secretary. I'd pay your travel expenses plus $1000 a week for ten weeks. Then if you were willing, we would be married, at which point I would share with you everything I own.

"Are you going to pay me extra when you are fucking me?"

" Of course not. You will be my fiancee,"

"I'll think about it, Mike. I have been pondering whether to stay here or return home to the USA. If it's a go, I'll meet you in Newark in ten days."

"Here's my business card. All the pertinent info is there except the three-carat engagement ring that will be waiting for you should you make me the lucky one."

And so that's how we left it, although we had a bit more sex in the late night and again in the morning before she left.

I get to the airport just in time and rest through most of the flight. The plane landed in Rome, an airport where chaos reigns. After passing through an assortment of caged officials, I just make it to the Alitalia flight to JFK as the gate was closing. As exhausted as I am, I drink two whisky sours and fall asleep for most of the flight.

An Uber from JFK gets me back to Newark, where the Dwarf is waiting at the door. They must have a spy at the airport and know the time of my arrival.

"Where's the gold," says the Dwarf."

"You think I stupid enough to smuggle Iranian gold into the USA."

"Wasn't that the deal? You were to carry the gold bars back."

"I did it my way because, El Dumbo, there is no chance you can carry bars of gold out of Iran. Likewise, if converted to US dollars, they have a magnetic strip that tells the government and the border patrol you have a significant amount of cash. The Swiss francs do not have the electric strip, so easy to smuggle but a simple transfer from one Swiss Bank to another is the easiest method.

He looks unhappy.

"I had it sent to Zurich, where it was converted into Swiss francs. Your half is available on a letter of credit I will give you. You have only to identify yourself by the code number I will give you, and then the money is yours, in whatever currency you request from the bank. Long story short, no pun on your height, Rumpelstiltskin."

My share remains deposited in my Swiss Account. One bar was worth $56,250, and ten bars were worth $562,500. From the total, my share was $281,250 minus the 'fucking' expenses. But I hope I will be returning to Dubai for a honeymoon. There in the chapel, of the fanciest hotel in the world, I hope to wed the finest piece of pussy and ass in the world has ever seen."

"If by 'fucking expenses,' you're talking about Shawnee, that six-foot volcanic mountain of flesh, I will agree 'hole heartedly,' and I do not misspell the world whole. I was the one who told you to take some time off to treat yourself and arranged that Faud, my cousin, be your wingman. I am pleased you are a man who can take some short advice, no pun intended, Sambo. As I told you, there is some exquisite pussy in Dubai."

"Like you said, little man--exquisite. I will invite you to the wedding. It will be no small affair, no pun intended."

"My stature may be small, but my cock is 11 inches long," said the midget, "as your fiancee can tell you, she will verify the length orally if not vaginally. Is your face turning white, Sambo?"

"I don't care which part of her you and yours have spurted your sour milk over her. Once she is my wife, you will have to lie back in your beds and dream your dreams while your jerk your gherkins--all of you."

I continued, "Now, this is what you are going to do.

You've got to bring the old man here. My agreement is with Uncle Farzad. Bring him here tomorrow morning. I'll be cleaning my Thompson submachine gun just in case you start any funny business."

I pointed to my office window where one of my bloods had an M1 semi-auto carbine with scope pointed at Hatu's giant dick or whatever the fuck the Dwarfs name is.

As you might imagine, the old guy Farzad, his brother Ahmed, and the Dwarf burst into the office the following day.

Just like I'd promised, I'm sitting there oiling my Thompson submachine gun.

I call the old man over. I show him the bank receipt for the ten ingots of gold, worth approximately $562,500. Explain the transaction.

I put my arm around him and say,

"There's one thing that's bothered me. There were eleven ingots in the safe, but the seventh was much lighter than the others.

Ya. That vas der chocolate one

Yeah, I figured that out. I ate it.

And so ended Mike Hamer Detective Agency's first great caper, with enough profits to pay the rent on the tiny storefront for a long time into the future. He's hoping his new receptionist, Shawnee, will be his Velda and, if all works out, the next Mrs. Hamer."

"There I was doing the dishes, wearing shorts and a long wig. Daddy comes up behind me, pulls down my shorts, and WAMP! He stuffs his Louisville Slugger right inside me. Said he didn't know it was me. But that didn't stop him from many repeats performances. I couldn't tell Mama. It would have killed her, so I just gave it up whenever he was drunk and wanted it."

"I guess the cherry hurdle is one thing we won't have to overcome."

"Why, what were you thinking."

"I'm a thinking I'd like to try and locate if there is any piece of cherry left."

"Oh, you might find a tiny piece if your dick is larger than Daddy's."

"Do blacks have big dicks?"

"They supposed to, but I have been disappointed on occasion, big glutes with dicks like the water facet in yo bathroom."

"I don't think that will be my case, my homie."

"What makes you think you is getten near my puss. We hasn't discussed my fee?"

"Is there a need to talk about money when the bloom of love is in the air between us?"

"Oh, you are a smooth talker Mr.?"

"Mike, Mike Hamer with one m."

"Like the private dick?"

"I do like to keep my black dick private."

"And your name Missy?"

"Shawnee, like the river. Now I'm asking, how long do you require my services."

"Probably for a lifetime, but let's start with tonight."

"For the whole night?"

"Of course."

"That will cost you $3000."

"Sold, you should have asked for $5000. $3000 is what this nigga calls a bargain."

Shawnee and I left the club and returned to my hotel. Every eye in the lobby was on us. I felt like the King of the ancient Kingdom of Kush (1070 BCE--350 CE), having Shawnee on my arm.

When we got up to my room, I said, "Is this place ok?"

"For a country girl, any place without straw on the floor will do--but it ain't no Burj Al Arab."

"Yeah, you got that right, but I'm here on business and figured I didn't' have time to take advantage of a first-class place, seven stars, I think?"

"There ain't no such thing as a seven-star hotel. That's just PR."

"Look at you, throwing out them fancy words."

"My major at MSU was communication, now I've expanded that to specialize in cum."

I laughed at that. "Have you been to the Burj?"

"Yeah, two Saudi Princess took me there for a few nights, pretty regal place."

"And what went on?"

"You want the details for your little dickey investigation?"

"Sure, your sex life sure didn't stop with Daddy?"

"Daddy was into ass, mine, deeply into it. The Princes were into bookending me."

"What is that?"

"You really want the details?

"Sure do."

"It works like this. The two guys would fuck me at the same time. One Prince had his weenie in my pussy, and the other Prince was fucking my ass. The next time they'd switch places. I didn't mind that, but they wanted me to blow their chauffeur when it was all over.

Get this, I'm sitting on this Japanese toilet that washes yo ass and cunt with warm water, just taking in the pleasant experience, and the Princes send in 'Jockamae,' the French chauffeur for a blow job while I'm sitting on the John. Course he had the green in his hand, so I open my mouth wide, and he shovels his seven incher in. It was an easy suck-off; the Frenchy came faster than a speeding bullet. That cost them an extra $1000.

Three days later, I gets a message from a girlfriend tellen me the link to open a porno site. There's me with my mouth open, naked tits and all, ass spread on the toilet with French's big cock in my mouth on the fucking internet."

"Sure, they set you up."

"Well, they paid for it, and now I internationally famous as the toilet cock sucker girl, it's had five million hits on porno web site that those fuckin Princes controlled. You can't do shit about it when they is Saudis. Just grin and 'bare' it. I had a big blond Afro on, so I doubt if anyone would know it was me, but so be it if-fen they do."

"Well, that's what you have done. Wow, you are a full-service gal."

"You do whatcha gotta do. I took in $11,000 for three days of slurpin cum and Arab dick party."

That story heated me up. My cock was at half-mast when I said, "Would you like some Crystal? I have a cold bottle in the fridge."

"Like in the Strip clubs back home? Well, that sounds good."

I took out the Champagne bottle and poured us two glasses. Of course, through the thin robe, Shawnee noticed my erection.

"You gonna fuck me or club me to death with that trudgen under yo robe, daddy?"

"Daddy wants to take it slow and get to know you. I've already transferred your fee to your account."

"You should have met me in Alabama; my fee was quite modest."

"I'm sure your expenses in traveling and setting up here are high."

"Yes, and the escort agency takes 20-25% when I'm booked through them."

"So, Sweet Sister, at least I saved you the commission fee."

We talked small talk. Shawnee told me she'd attended college. After she finished, she realized her student loans seemed impossible to meet on a teacher's salary, plus the high school students were a lot to handle.

"Most female teachers I've heard about are too busy fucking their students to teach them much else."

"That's true; the teach in the homeroom next to me would have the older, bigger guys line up after the school's out bell rang. She'd lift her skirt and lie back on her desk, and they'd fuck her stand-in up, one after the other till the late bell rang."

"You talk-in bout yo self Sugar?"

"No, I didn't go in for that shit, like the young fool I was giving it away for free to Principal Falwell down on his office couch. But I've learned my lesson. If you's want pussy, from this here gurl, you gotta pay Shawnee the big bucks before you gonna get a finger into her peachy pie."

"So you decided to use your body instead of your mind?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that. Seduction is a fine art, and without an erotic approach, you would be havin sex like barn animals humping each other."

"I guess you are right. As a college athlete, I felt used and abused. The college made a fortune on us out on the field, and most of us took away injuries that last a lifetime. If I was in your situation, I'd do the same thing."

"You might still consider it. Black gay escorts do quite well, provided you have the necessary cock and ass to play the game, which varies with every client. In most cases, it's the client who set the scene."

"Well, I don't know if I'm ready for that, but I'll keep it in the back of my mind. Right now, I just completed a deal that will net me enough to pay for this trip, your fee, and still a few dollars to carry home."

"To Mrs. Mikey?"

"There ain't no Mrs. in my life. At least there wasn't the thought of such stuff until you walked into my life."

"Cut the bull shite, Mikey. You knows you is talken to a homegirl."

"I knows, but that might be a good consideration, especially you got tired of being the toilet girl and wanted to be Mrs. Hammer?"

"Well, Mr. Mike, I think it's time we got the show on the road."

"Yep, in my world, you sample the goods before you propose."

And with that, she started to dance around the room, unwinding the long multi-colored sari, until she was nearly naked when she fell backward onto the bed, slipping the last piece of red silk fabric from her body.

When she raised her arms, I quickly made myself nude and fell into her arms, my erection between her thighs.

I wanted to give back as much as I intended to take, so I moved over, her knees against my chest and her perfect vagina two inches from my lips. I moved in on my target and licked gently, moistening her vulva, inserting my tongue, and probing for her clitoris.

I know there is a myth that we niggas don't eat pussy, but I consider myself a champion at eaten poontang. Her puss was remarkable, and in some way, unique. It was distinctly female, tasted great, and although it took her a bit longer to climax than most pussies I've mentored, she did reach a full climax and was a mini squirter--wow.

I lay there feeling her ripe voluminous breasts pressed against my chest, he firm thighs pressed against mine, my cock in the safe harbor between them. Her body was shaved so closely that I could feel nothing of the pubic hair that usually would have chaffed my cock's stalk.

"Your skin is so soft. I can't even feel your pubes. How do you do that?"

"Depilatory, my dear, all of us who pass through those stages are devoid of any body hair."

"What do you mean by 'stages.'

"The passing from being born a male and bending one's gender to become a full-fledged female."

"You mean you are a..."

"Sex change, a transgender person, a gay boy who had his big penis looped off, grew these big tits and was refitted in Thailand with a pussy large enough to accommodate an endowed black man like yourself. Did your ten-inch swollen snake have any complaints?"

"None, just surprise?"

I was surprised, shocked, this most beautiful black woman in my arms was a ma...?"

Well, that makes no sense. Before I could say another word, Shawnee grabbed my penis, squeezed it in, and her mouth was on it. As she sucked it her long tongue snuck out of the side of her mouth and licked my balls. That was a first-time happening for me.

I swear I was close to coming, but she clamped her two long fingers around my dick and tucked it into her glory hole. I was unsure of what to do, but Mr. One eye swelled up beyond his full potential and then some, and I was fucking her/him/it like today was the end of the world as I knew it, and this was the best piece of pussy on the planet. The skin inside her vagina seemed to be magnetized and pulled and tugged at my dick like it was the North Star.

I wanted to continue fucking her. Yes, for me, it was a 'her' for the rest of our time, but Dickey Boy said it was time to cum. If there was a fire in her cunt, by God, I was ready to put it out. My balls let go with a torrent of cum juice, squirting out my cock's head, and by God, I put that fire out. That was when I realized my face was all wet. I'd been sucking on her big titty while I'd fucked her. I wiped off my cheek with my palm.

Shawnee said, "So is this here woman's pussy is up to snuff."

"Your pussy is proof that God exists, this puss, I grabbed it like Trump taught us, is God's art on earth. The best puss I ever slipped my dick into, babe."

[A mini note on gender realignment surgery:

Reassignment surgery for trans women provides several ways to create a clitoris from existing tissue. The most common practice is to separate the penile glans from the paired erectile tissues and reduce in size to simulate a clitoris.