The Blessing

My name was August, but I preferred May.

It was a little early for my journey into manhood, but my family was disgraced. Despite my efforts to change my appearance, I still lived a lie. I had broad shoulders, narrow hips, and a piece of equipment between my legs that I felt no attachment to, or drive to use. Displacement hung over me. My own reflection was a stranger staring back at me.

"You will survive," Father said as I turned my back on my family and entered the forest. By that time, I knew all the tricks to survive; what to eat, how to hunt, find shelter, collect water, and not get eaten by bears or wolves... or worse; speared through by the Chimera.

The Chimera were beautiful, majestic creatures. The girls said they were harmless, and to them, they were. White, golden, or light blue horses, eyes the color of onyx and an ivory spear on their heads who danced and frolicked in the clearings, they exited the forest every year during the Summer Solstice to bless the women who had come of age. Their blessing was their tears, light and shimmery.

The virgins would sit naked in the clearing, the Chimera approaching them with eagerness, placing their heads on their laps. The girls would kiss the tears of the Chimera, and they would be blessed with beauty, wealth, and safety should they ever need to flee and run into the forest to hide.

Chimera did not like the men. We weren't allowed at the blessing, because the Chimera would flee from fear, or spear us through. It wasn't their fault; it was their nature. They couldn't change who and what they were.

And neither could I.

On my second day in the forest, I sat in a clearing with soft grass, plenty of shade, some berries, and a small pond. Was it even worth it to go back into the village? I would emerge a "man," but nothing about me would change.

I could lie. I could fake it, tell everyone I had a change of heart. But how would I live that way?

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice the creature until the shadow of its spear fell across me.

Looking up into the eyes of my impending death, I felt no fear. Only peace, and an odd relief. Maybe this was a mercy. My death would be my father's social redemption.

I closed my eyes, lifting my head and resting it against the back of the tree, presenting my chest in offering. At least I could face death with dignity.

The creature knelt, a soft whinny on it's lips. It sat beside me, placing its head in my lap.

I lifted my hand and gently stroked its heavy head, softer than silk, its breath warming my leg. Tears burned down my cheeks as I accepted the affection from the only creature in the world who seemed to see past the body I wore.

Eventually, my shaking and my tears exhausted, the creature stood, carefully positioning itself so as not to spear me with its horn. A bright, silver tear emerged from its knowing black eye, rolling down its cheek.

I leaned into the creature, kissing its cheek, the tear washing over my lips. Its blessing was sweet and rich, like chocolate, honey, and peppermint. But it was the honor of the blessing itself that made my heart leap with delight.

When I opened my eyes, the creature turned and pranced off. I lifted my hand to wipe the few remaining tears from my face...

It was my hand. The same sun spots, the same chipped and dirty nails from digging for mushrooms, the same cut on my palm from last week's chopping firewood.

But my wrist was small, dainty, with long, elegant fingers, and a fine dusting of pale hair down my thin, dainty arm.

I scrambled to the pool of water I had found, and gazed down in shock at the face that looked back at me.

---

I emerged from the forest at sunrise the next day, naked, tanned from the sun and clean from the forest pool. My friends and family murmured and shouted in shock. I ignored them, walking instead to the Tree of Memory, and added mine to the names of the boys who had not survived the journey.

A voice from behind me spoke. "Who are you?"

I turned, and smiled. "My name is May."