All Comments on 'The Blue Dress'

Very nice :)

That's a great example of how a man/Daddy & wife/Mommy relationship can & should work, for the better of the entire family!!

BRAVO!!

now THAT is an LW (and a clever husband!) heh

two kids, past the seven year danger period, still excited to be with their spouse, lucky couple. more should be so lucky, (or work harder to get there).

5 stars for the concept

minus 1 for the lack of proof reading

plus 1 for the sentiment and a smile.

Wished I could give you 5* times 5 for giving us a true romance in the Romance section! We all knew it without husband or wife ever saying "I love you". It was obvious from the descriptions of their actions. I wish more of the budding authors would respect the category.

I forgive the minor inconsistencies this time. I guess as someone married 35 years to my soul mate and having lived through raising 3 children, I could really connect with this tale. Please continue to write romantic tales in Romance!

Thank you all for the kind words and constructive criticism. I got a bit excited about my first stab at this and posted prematurely. I have submitted a heavily edited version which is pending approval. I hope you'll consider trying it, and me, again. Cheers!

Emerson

in some of the increments it will be quite enjoyable. TK U MLJ LV NV

Cute story, with likable characters. Just small nitpicks: "Kyle grinned as butterflies flittered in his stomach and responded by raising one finger in the air." You've got Kyle's butterflies raising a finger.

"He removed his white boxer briefs, freeing his erection and laid prone on the bed to fully engulf himself in Becca's pleasure." Objects are "laid" - "He laid his clothes on the bed." People lay or lie on a bed.

Numbers under 100 must be written out: "Fifteen minutes."

As for him tasting her "cum." For women, that's just a heavier lubrication, unlike a man's semen.

I did like it very much *****. I love it when romance stirs my heart first not my genitals, and this one delivered. Thank you.

Hi Em,

As promised, I did get back to your story and finished reading it. I'm glad I did.

When I saw the title, my mind immediately went to the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinski affair. I was glad to find out that it had nothing to do with that.

I had a problem with Becca driving up in a "Rav 4". I know it is good to be specific, but I think calling out the model is a bit much and doesn't add to the story. I'm not sure how Toyota would react to it, either. I guess I'd be more generic. A white SUV or a white compact SUV would be better, I think.

I thought the story got off to a very slow start. To be honest, I lost interest in it when you started going into details about the kids, putting away groceries, and other mundane activities. I read to be transported away from the common, ordinary, everyday stuff. I'm glad I came back to it because the latter part - once they get the kids to bed and get to the bedroom themselves, is quite good. But, I do like the way you tucked in those little flashes and flirtations and had Kyle counting them. Nothing like a little foreplay.

I had a bit of a problem with using the timer, though. Once I saw where you/Kyle was going with it, I kept thinking it would wake the kids at the most inopportune time. I know ours would. But, I don't know how to rectify that. Also, I'd want Kyle to slam the Off button immediately, not fall asleep with it beeping away.

A couple of nitpics: Someone else mentioned the "laid" vs lay issue. Also, I think the verb is thrust, not thrusted.

I liked the flirtation and Kyle's "revenge" theme. I loved the way he played with her. Nice touch. I liked the fact that he fell asleep still inside her, but I question that he would still be pulsing. She might be, but not him. All in all, a very good first story, in my opinion.

The category is titled "loving wives" and this story is just perfect for the heading.

Most of these stories should be in the "cheap, sleazy, low life cheating cunt"category. This couple take pleasure in their relationship an value each other above all else. That's what th marriage vows are all about.

Forget the little picky things about this story, let's just focus on how beautiful marriage can be.