The Blue Sunfish

"I guess."

"Doesn't that fly in the face of human experience?"

"What do you mean?"

"There are consequences to human behavior. Life, by contrast, is special and significant."

"Of course."

"In fact, the recognition that human life is precious is the basis for morality."

"I guess."

"If there is no value to human life, what is the crime of harming another human being? Or alternately, what's the point of loving someone else?"

Clearly, I hadn't thought all this through the way Rose had.

"Morality is founded on the principle that human life is sacred, and is not just an accident; human beings didn't just happen. We were created. Maybe the mechanism used was some sort of evolutionary natural selection process, I don't know, it doesn't really matter, fundamentally life is special, what we do is special, and every human being is special. We are not here by accident."

"You're special, that I know."

She smiled at me before continuing, "So if human beings are indeed just a random accident, then there is nothing wrong with harming them. Then, sadly, it's not a far jump from that position to genocide."

"Whoa..."

"Here's the other reality. We scientists, whether in biology, physics, astrophysics, medicine, chemistry—all science and mathematics. The type of science that is peer reviewed, that can be verified through experimentation, ie, real science, not pseudo-science or speculation or opinion. The reality for us is that for every question, every scientific inquiry that we manage to answer, at least one more question pops up, usually more."

"Makes sense."

"So hypothetically, say in a million years or so, if we get to the point where all the questions that we have about life here on earth, the experience of living and dying and the universe around us, are all answered, where will we be?"

"I don't know?"

"Hypothetically, where?"

I just put my hands up in the air and shrugged.

"At that point we would know the mind of God."

I must have had a dumb look on my face.

"We are human beings; we will never get there."

"You are actually an incredible woman."

"You asked if I believe in God. So, yes, I do. And I believe in science."

"Remarkable."

"Am I scaring you?"

"No."

"Good, because my personal rationalization in the spirituality that I perceive, in my view, is a lot less radical than the viewpoints held by the Mormons or the Muslims or the Methodists. Don't get me wrong, though, I'm not suggesting that what they practice or believe in is wrong, or that there aren't valuable lessons to be gleaned from their scriptures. It's just not for me.

"Hey, I get that."

"What do you believe in?"

Tentatively I answered, "Jesus?"

"And that's perfectly fine. I won't begrudge yours or anyone's beliefs. In fact, it's rather comforting that you fall within the spiritually aware camp."

"Wow." I drained back the last of my martini and stood up. "Beer?"

"No, I still have my martini."

"Okay, let's change the subject," I suggested.

"Fine."

"Let me ask you this. Do you consider yourself a feminist?"

She thought for a moment before answering, "Yes, in the sense that I believe men and women are essentially the same, that we have been created equal and that the same opportunities should be made available to both, except in one notable matter."

"Oh, what's that?"

"In matters pertaining to reproduction. The feminism that is being taught these days through various social sciences seems, in my view, get it completely wrong. It's a biological fact: men and women have differing reproductive organs and consequently different behavior patterns when it comes to matters pertaining to reproduction."

"True."

"Yet, to many so-called feminists, when men behave differently from women based on their hormonal and other natural impetus, they are accused of sexually objectifying women and are labeled misogynists. I find that absurd and wrong."

"Really."

"Of course, it's ridiculous. Sexual objectification is normal, in fact it's essential to our survival as a species. To label that objectification as hate is simply wrong. It's worse than that, it's hurtful. To give you an example—a homosexual man will objectify the subject of his sexual desires. To then turn around and call him a man hater is simply absurd."

I couldn't help but break out laughing.

"And here's the thing with the social science feminism that is being promulgated in universities and other higher learning institutions and publications. It's a leftist cult, almost like a religion. And like a religion, it asks its cult members to put dogma before reality. Faith before science. I won't have it. I refuse to participate."

Laughing, I managed to get out, "You really are something else."

"Then these same so-called feminists make the assertion that because a man sexually objectifies a woman, then he cannot respect her mind, her character or her achievements. Hence, he is incapable of treating her equally in non-sexual matters. In my view and in my experience, that's simply ridiculous."

"I agree."

"Based on that assumption, modern marriages wouldn't work. Couldn't work." She held up her index finger and continued, "Let's think this through, using their belief positions. I'm a woman, you are sex obsessed male..."

"Correct," I interjected.

"In order to protect myself against you sexually objectifying me and thereby insulating myself from your misogyny, and to maintain some semblance of equality between us with respect to my mind, my character and my work, I should do what? Wear a burqa?"

"Hahaha! Oh god." We both laughed, "Maybe you should walk ten feet behind me," I added.

"But you put me in the front of the canoe."

"Yeah so I could see your sweet little ass as we paddled along!"

"It's hate! It's hate!"

We both roared with laughter for a few minutes. I'm sure every fish's umwelt in that swamp became aware of our presence.

Eventually we calmed ourselves down. "I have a very diabolical method of dealing with women that espouse those viewpoints to me directly."

"Oh, what's that?" I couldn't wait to hear.

She chuckled before she answered in a calm and controlled, slightly accented voice, "I listen to what they have to say and then I tell them that I really like the way they did their make-up, or that the skirt they're wearing looks very cute on them."

I lost it.

Through her own laughter she added, "Some never know how to respond, others say 'thank you.'"

I was gripping my ribs.

"But, you know for me," she added, "it's all about breasts, my breasts."

I literally fell out of my chair but managed to somehow keep my beer can upright. The woman was a riot!

After picking myself up off the ground and brushing the pine needles off, I said, "Rose, I think it's time to get a fire going for our dinner."

"Quite the contrast to Viennese dining this whole trip has been hasn't it?" I asked as I snapped some twigs in half. "Was it much as you expected?"

"I must say, I hadn't really paid much mind to the dining experience, which I have to say has been wonderful. I was more worried about finding the fish and..." she paused for a moment and turned to me, "...and worried about you."

"Me?" I was surprised, "why would you be worried about me?"

She didn't answer. She simply stared at me holding her dixie cup.

"Oh, I get it, (in my best Talking Heads I sang):

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better
Run run run run run run run away oh oh oh."

At least I got a smile from her.

"And I was a little worried about you, Rose."

"Me? Why would you have been worried about me?" She was definitely puzzled.

"Well, in our emails, I was trying to be friendly and you were... a cold fish. Sorry."

She simply stared at me.

"I didn't know if all that friendliness and sex stuff that we had in Vienna was going to continue on or not. Face it, Rose, your emails weren't exactly," I had to find the right word, "suggestive?"

"No, they weren't; I'm sorry for that. It's a university server. I have to be careful. Plus, I was copying Laszlo on some of them. I had to edit some of what you had sent me. Sorry." She stepped up to me and then squatted down next to the fire. I was blowing trying to get the flame going. She helped.

"I understand," I said blowing the small fire, "your primary motivation was, is, the little blue sunfish."

"Pppwwwuuhhh," she blew on the fire, "and what was yours?"

"You. Plain and simple. Just you. You wanted to catch a blue fish, I wanted to catch you."

She fell back on her ass in shock, gathered her wits about her for a moment and then kneeled up, put her arm around my shoulder, snuggled her face to my ear and said, "Well you caught me, that's for sure." She kissed my cheek while rubbing my shoulder and back.

I turned my face and we kissed passionately. Our tongues dove into each other's mouths. The campfire roared to life.

"Let's eat first," I said, standing up and brushing myself off. Did I really catch her? I thought as I unpacked all of the taco stuff from the cab. As I walked back to the fire with a shopping bag full of ingredients, paper plates and the cast iron frypan, I asked Rose, "What's going to happen after you get back?"

"Laszlo will get the fish." There was a little shock to her voice.

"That I know. What's going to happen to you?"

"Oh," she hesitated, "courses will start again in the fall, I've got plenty of work to do." She was staring at me a little funny.

I handed her a big onion, "How about cutting this up?"

"Sure."

As I put the frypan on the grill, I realized that I was a little angry with myself. I desperately didn't want her to go back. I wanted our little hunt to continue, whether in Sioux Lookout, Vienna or the highway getting to where we were. Perhaps what I really found was something about myself, that I could be a selfish bastard. I knew that was wrong and that was why I was a little frustrated with myself.

I opened the pack of now fully thawed ground beef.

She was right in her little tirade about morality. If she wasn't such a special person, I wouldn't give a flying fuck about her, but I did. I wanted what is best for her. Not for me. Rosalind was an intelligent, beautiful, highly educated, moral, ethical woman who admittedly has a few peccadillos and some emotional baggage to carry. I was a fucking idiot tradesman. She was absolutely correct, if I wasn't so crazy about her, I wouldn't be so upset with myself.

The ground beef went into the frypan. "Onions ready yet?" They appeared to be all cut up. She handed me the cutting board and knife. The onions went into the frypan with the ground beef.

"Can I get you to slice up some tomatoes?" I went back to the truck to retrieve the bottle of Chianti that I had stowed. It was Leonardo, the one with the straw on the outside of the bottle.

Simply put, I wanted the best for Rose. Unfortunately, that didn't jive with my own wishes. In this expedition, I was in it for the sex, but I had also secretly hoped that I would find a wife. For me to expect that she would drop everything to be with me was not only unrealistic, but, damn selfish, too. What a fucking idiot I had been.

"So, one o'clock at the airport tomorrow?" I reassured myself.

"Yeah."

"I suggest we grab something to eat at Tim Horton's, that way we won't have to be mucking around with the fire, will you be okay with that?"

"Of course."

"I can pack up all the camping stuff and the canoe while you get the fish ready; the trip into town will be less than an hour."

She made sure I saw the exaggerated frown on her face as she stirred the meat and onions.

"I know, I feel the same way, Rose. This has been an awesome trip."

Smiling she said, "We're not done yet."

"No, we're not," I couldn't help but grin.

"I told you the fun was in the hunt."

"Yeah, not to mention driving in circles around these highways. Sorry about that." I handed her the little packet of seasoning mix.

"It was all part a part of getting to where we are right now."

"That's for sure," I muttered under my breath.

Dinner was truly inelegant. We sat in folded up chairs with paper plates on our laps. Red wine, in red plastic dixie cups was precariously perched on the ground next to us. The soft tacos had sliced tomato and prepackaged coleslaw, all smothered in a medium jarred salsa and topped with handfuls of pre-shredded Monterey Jack cheese.

"I love tacos." Rose grinned in approval. What a trooper.

We finished our gourmet taco dinner just as the sun went down and the bugs came out.

All the food, fry pan and garbage were safely locked into the cab of the truck before Rose and I, zipped ourselves into the nine by nine tent. The floor was softened with an inch-thick heavy foam flooring and our sleeping bags were zipped together in anticipation of hot sex.

Rose did not disappoint. She was ripping her clothes off before I had a chance to zip the tent closed, kick my shoes off and turn on the battery powered lantern.

"You know what I want." Even in the dim light I could see her little front tooth gap gleaming at me. She ripped the t-shirt off me as I kneeled in front of her, fumbling with my belt and jean's zipper. She managed to pull my pants off, my underwear and then my socks. I was laying on my back naked looking up at her as she peeled the last of her clothes off.

"Don't you dare move a muscle! Stay right where you are. You're not running away from me. Not tonight."

She shifted down and gave me a kiss on the lips. "I'm not running anywhere," I said and kissed her again. She was kissing back with an intensity that was searing my brain. "I know exactly what you want," I whispered between kisses.

"Pray tell," she whispered back between kisses.

"You want me to worship in the waters of joy."

"That's it precisely," she chuckled as she shifted forward, bringing her pancake mount boobies and chocolate Hershey Kisses level with my face. Eagerly I sucked each one in in turn as my hands slid down to her ass then splaying her crotch open. She was wet. My cock was already stiff and pointing its way home.

Rose moaned in delight as she squirmed in my hands. Even in the dim light she watched me intently as I lavished praise on her nipples with my tongue.

I interrupted myself, looked up into her eyes and asked, "Give me a quick suck on my cock, just to get it wet."

I caught a glimpse of her whole face beaming in delight as she un-straddled me and clasped my cock with both hands. Her straight brown hair blocked my view, "Ahh..." she sucked my cock right in her mouth. I flopped my head back, closed my eyes and concentrated on her tongue swirling around and her lips licking my shaft.

She was a maniac and I couldn't let her continue. "Rose," I whispered, "I'm the one worshipping in the waters here, not you. Enough."

She lifted her head whilst still holding on to my cock, flicking her hair back on one side. She seemed surprised and concerned.

"Rose, if you keep doing that, I'm gonna come. It's just that simple. So please, bring your little lady part over here. In fact, can I get you on your back right here?" I shifted to the side. Rose was on her back with her arms reaching out to me in a flash with a big toothy gap smile on her.

Kneeling between her slightly bent knees, I caressed both of her nipples with my fingers then slid my hands down her soft, flat belly and out to her hips. I wiggled my way back towards to the tent door and shifted my weight forward as I drew her calves and knees back towards her shoulders fully exposing her sexy pussy, already glistening in the dim light.

My face and my mouth were drawn down like a moth before a flame. My nose nudged her stiff clit as my tongue plunged deep inside her. Although partially stifled by the back of her thighs, I could hear moans. I lifted my eyes enough so that I could watch her rubbing both of her tits and see the underside of her jaw rolling from side to side. I was overcome with Rosalind DiDonato nectar. I couldn't get enough. I kept licking and slurping her up.

She pulled my head up, she was bearing down on me with her intense brown eyes. It looked as if she was about to devour me.

I climbed up her lithe white body while still pressing down on the back of her thighs. Fingernails found my hard shaft and guided me in.

"OOhhh..."she gasped as I pressed home balls deep. "You're so big..."

Not really, but she was tight and very wet. I let go of her thighs, letting her legs slip down naturally, and positioned myself on my forearms and toes. My cock slid in and out with ease. She was grinding back. I knew I had to pace myself. I had to keep control. She kept pulling me down tighter to her by shoulders and neck. I kept pumping her with the full motion of my hips and spine. Her right arm snaked its way between our bodies, suddenly the tips of her fingernails were clipping the top of my shaft as she took control of her clit.

I relished the occasional nick. It would jar me back a step.

I could feel the rumbling starting up in Rose's body, almost a quiver.

Our faces gnashed at each other. Wet lips, hungry tongues and slobbery cheeks simply couldn't get enough of each other. All of it was accentuated by our lungs frantically pumping hot air at each other between desperate groans and moans. The inside of the tent became almost tropical. I could feel the sweat building on my forehead and my back.

Rose started coming. Hard. She didn't stop coming. Her entire body wracked in contraction after contraction. She gurgled as her head rolled uncontrollably with her eyes shut.

I stopped pumping her and rested deep inside her pussy in the hopes that she wouldn't pull me over the edge. I was damn close. I needed her to stop flexing on my cock for a few moments. I took a couple of deep breaths. Calm down. Cool down, slow down. Who won the World Series last year? Superbowl? I couldn't fucking remember. My brain was rattled. She kept on rubbing her clit and her body kept on shaking.

Time itself slowed to a crawl as I tried not to come, to regain control of myself. After a few long moments and a few good breaths, I managed to do it. I lay motionless on top of Rose as she continued with the occasional nick on my cock. My heart was still racing.

It occurred to me that she never said 'don't get me pregnant.' Was that a simple omission? I wasn't going to ask. I needed to cool down.

"Rose," I whispered in her slobbery ear, "can I doggy fuck you?" I pulled out before I got an answer. Rose quickly positioned herself on the sleeping bag on her hands and knees. I pushed on her neck with my right hand sinking her shoulders and chest down. Her left arm extended over her head while the left hand found its way home to her pussy.

Kneeling behind her I splayed her skinny ass open and plunged my tongue as deep into her pussy as I could. Her bum hole flexed in and out, responding to my tongue. I couldn't wait any longer. I straightened myself out behind her and pushed my cock home.

"Ahh..." she lifted her head.

I firmly held her just below her hips and adjusted my weight slightly. My thumbs splayed her bum checks wide and I commenced pounding with all my might. Every thrust was vocalized with a garbled "Yes..yes..yes.." Immediately she started coming and her bum hole contracted in unison.

I kept on slamming home, angling from side to side, and up, and down. Each time, penetrating as deeply as I could. Everything became very wet; in the poor light I couldn't tell if she was squirting or uncontrollably peeing. Something was running down my right thigh. Her whole body shook non-stop. It was too much for me especially the visual of her bum hole. I licked two fingers from my right hand and plunged them into her ass.