All Comments on 'The Boys in Blue Ch. 20'

Thank you for such a wonderful story. Really came to life even though I didnt start reading until late into the chapters. I may have to start from the beginning now and read it fully. Love the ending and so nice to have a happy ending for a change. Look forward to reading other stories you have.

My father flew for the RCAF and RAF during WWII and I lived in England for two years. For this and other reasons this story was special to me. It was great and I hope you will continue to write and post your work here. Thanks for a really great adventure.

Too bad the guy is a cheater!

This was a strong story, good narrative, weak editing but very good overall. It seems to me that you lost the story in the final 2 or 3 chapters. The episode with Pearl (and maybe a couple of his earlier liaisons as well) detract I think from the overall romance theme. Having a character learn from his mistakes is one thing but Pearl moved it into "boys will be boys" territory. It also seems to me that you didn't have a good idea about the ending. Resolving everything for them all with a single phone call was pretty weak.

I'm offering this because I did like the story very much and hope you will continue to write. A better editor would be good.

Anonymous Andy

I very much enjoyed your story. I would have enjoyed it much more if you had used a proof reader. There were many glaring mistakes such the word (as) and you writing it as (has) and (of) is properly used as "The Queen of England" and (off) as taking your hat "off) and July is properly spelled Julie.

I am not a proof reader nor an editor,but rather an avid reader of 70 plus years and it hurts my eyes to see an otherwise very good story ripped up by such poor grammer usage. And one more last comment the light jackets are called Windbreakers NOT Windcheaters !

Once I got the intent of the writing style, I read it right through.

That's a great yarn, in my opinion!

Thanks for writing it.

Good work.

The story-line and characters were top notch. I think this story would have benefited greatly from an editor or proofreader.

Some of the slang and idioms were a little too deep for an international reader to keep up with. Also punctuation errors made it difficult to follow the flow of the story.

Outside of that, great work! Keep Writing!

A good storyline let down by bad grammer and lack of research into RAF procedures and dress regs.

The use of "there" when it should have been "their" is just one instance.

Best uniform for a meal would not have been used, but Mess Dress would.

Having served in the RAF the glaring mistakes detracted from the flow of a good story, sorry

You have the ability to write a very good story. I read a lot of books and this is among the best. Don't worry about the grammar any proof reader or editor can fix that the story and knack to putting it on paper are the true gift !!

Very well done. !!

only flaw was to not involve others in perfecting a marvelous creation - otherwise it's top notch! Thanks

Robert is betraying a whole list of people, but especially his own principles of fidelity, sacrifice for the good of others, and loyalty to those who he has vowed to protect, and who would die for him. And he is stealing the love that Terry and others think they are giving him. In fact you have him fucking so out of character that it makes his behavior not just reprehensible, but preposterous. Made the whole series a waste of time, because it started so well. The wheels fell off at chapter 7, and it went wonkers from there. A fucking pathetic attempt at drama and romance. Wonder if you have the nerve to write the sequel, where Terry comes home unexpectedly from a singing tour and finds Robert fucking the nanny. Its OK, its just sex. You've turned Robert into a cheating asshole at the drop of the hat, shouldn't be too hard to turn Terry into a submissive compliant cuckqueen. And most of your fans will love it. I can hear them clapping with one hand; you know what is occupying the other hand.

Can't really enjoy a story where the lead character is a Cheater,an Adulterer and a Rapist.He is definitely no Hero, and if this was real life i would hope the wife would find out and leave his slimy ass.

This could have been a great story. You started strong, building a great main character in Bobby. However, making him a cheater was a glaring mistake. And not just once, multiple times. And not to mention, with the women of two of his supposedly closest friends. What a jack-wad. Poor Terry. Thinking she's married to a great man when in fact she's married to a lying, cheating dog. And those are some kind of friends she has, sleeping with her man. This story could have been great, but in the end it was just a platform to say it's okay for guys to fuck around (men have needs, blah, blah, blah), but if the woman does it she's the worst person in the world. (So, Bobby thought Terry was awful when he thought she had had an affair when he would be back so soon. And yet, he had fucked the first chick, Jill, when he was only a week away from coming home. Nice double standard.) Such a waste.

This should have been in loving husbands cathegory (replacement for loving wives)

If you look into it all the guys are sexobsessed and this is certainly the case of robert (bobby),his cheating over one year's time is revolting

Next all the caracters are all close to being alcoholics

The beginning was strong but after phoenix it went downhill pretty hard

Sorry not my kind of malt

Largely unattractive--if not dislikable--characters; your males in particular generally display the maturity and trustworthiness of a bunch of badly brought-up 14 year-olds; there's far too much sex, and almost all of it poorly done.

Add multiple punctuation and syntax errors on every page and spelling so bad that your spell-checker guesses wrong--whereupon you blindly accept its incorrect suggestions...

Don't, if you've got one, give up your day job.

Sorry--

PJB_UK

Good subject. A bit of fun and totally unreal. Very strange grammar, at times I thought it had been machine translated.

The story line is great and you can see and hear the sounds for the battles and the response of the characters. Very well done and I hope others stories will be forth coming.

why, when you have such great story lines do you pay such little attention to what the automatic side of your machine is doing. I refuse to accept the errors as due to you personally. They are so obvious as to be laughable when reading them. Please switch off the suggestive text, what it saves you is really not worth it.

It was a good story but the editing was terrible.... you're instead of your, to instead of too, quite instead of quiet, ware instead of wear... the list goes on and not to forget there are commas to be used to separate phrases....

I could not agree more, if there was an editor they should be hung ,drawn and quartered All the way through my attention was distracted by needless faults that should not have been there in the first place. Having got that off my chest a rattling good yarn.

I only found your stories four days ago and couldn't stop until I'd finished all that you wrote up date. Five stars plus all the way.

First thank you for what turns out to be an absolute treasure of a story. In my humble opinion, worth ten stars or more at every turn. You will have to do a lot of work to top this one.

Thanks for sharing

NorthPacific

What a wonderful story and like with all good things it must come to an end. Keep up this great writing.

Outstanding story, brother. All of them.

brilliant yarn