The Brown Blogger Ep. 01

This story contains references to shit and shitting. The clue is in the title.

'When life is a piece of shit, try and have fun' - Judy Bellingham.

You know how everyone says their job is shit? Well, mine is. Literally. So this is the tale of how I ended up, not just doing porn, I mean, yeah, daddy issues, blah, blah, but how I ended up doing scat porn and the person responsible for it. Aside from my dad, that is. Ah, just kidding, dad. Love you lots!

No the one person responsible was a man. It's always a man for us girls, and me a bit as well, I guess. So who am I? Well, when this story starts, I'm Judy Bellingham, 21 y/o, at uni studying English Lit.

I'm 5'4, shoulder-length dark hair, glasses, kind of nerdy, curvy, not fat but not slim either, big boobs, always loved my boobs, and my bum, it's a generous bum. Legs are okay, but supermodel legs they are not. No tats, but I have a belly button piercing which is about as 'out there' as I get.

I have an exhibitionist streak though, and I like men, and I like sex. I will fool around with girls, but I like men. A lot. Short men, tall men, fat guys, thin guys. Old dudes. Young dudes. Yeah, I like men. I'm a regular girl with no real hang-ups, well except for my legs, and a girl who likes guys who like fun. It's not complicated. Truthfully I'm not a complicated girl.

For extra cash, I dabble in a bit of modelling. You like a girl getting her tits out while you take pics? Then I'm okay with that as long as you pay. And yeah, I know you also want to see full-on naked girls, and I'm cool with that too.

You want to see my veejay? Sure, okay it costs a little more, oh, you want full open leg? Hey, just pony up, and we're fine. So I'm soon doing open pussy sets, but again that wasn't entirely my fault. Danielle, who ran a small photographic studio and had an endless supply of overweight guys (no fat shaming, Judes) with a camera to hide behind, was always saying, 'just show a little bit more babe, and there will be a bit more cash for you', in her Danish accent.

So I had no problem supplementing my income by prancing around in the nude or pretending to be super horny while playing with myself. I always have fun playing 'Jugs Judy'.

Yeah, that's my modelling name. I didn't think to choose a fake name and given my boobs, 'Jugs Judy' was what I became. The trick is having people remember you. People remembered 'Jugs Judy', and I'm low maintenance, friendly and reliable. That last one will keep you employed as an adult model a lot longer than looks or big boobs.

This guy then, you want me to get to him? Okay, his name was Steve, thirties, confident, bit arrogant, good looking. His mate Barry was the opposite, shyer, and liked taking pictures of me. Well, not just me, any girl really. Steve sometimes came along, grinning as I got my tits out, and giving me the look. You know the look. The look says, 'hey I'm cool, I'm fun. I have a big cock'. Arrogant tosser.

But he was fun, made me laugh, so we swapped numbers, had drinks, made out a couple of times and then ended up in bed. Steve was good in bed. No hang-ups, no weird kinks, liked a laugh and was a good kisser. We had fun.

And then it all went to shit.

This one time we were a bit drunk, and just finished a nice meal out. I'm feeling good, Steve is treating me nice, because he is a charming bastard when he wants to be, and we are back at his apartment necking on his couch before he carries me to the bedroom as I shed clothes everywhere. Which turned out to be a smart move.

I'm ripping off his shirt and undoing his jeans, damn he had a lovely cock, not too big, not too small, just hitting the spot. He has his cock in my mouth, god he tasted good too, his balls are heavy and warm - don't you just love balls? You just want to eat them.

And then we are fucking. My legs are wrapped around him, he is nibbling my ear, and squeezing my arse, his cock is banging my pussy, then a change of pace bit slower more measured, but still nice. Then his cock slips out, and he rubs against my arsehole.

"My dick fancies a change of scenery," he whispers all charm and seduction.

I hesitate for a fraction as a girl has to make sure everything is like, okay down there, but the mood is good, and the sex is good, and I'm a heady mix of endorphins and alcohol.

"Sure babe, do in me in the ass," and he slips inside me easily enough. I'm relaxed, my juices are acting as lube and hey, it ain't my first time.

And it's all good, he isn't that deep inside me, and I'm all dreamy, the sex is still fantastic, and then he pulls out and tips me over on all fours.

"Whoa, steady there boy," I giggle.

"I want to get deeper, Judes, fuck your sexy ass."

I'm too gone to care, and I like being manhandled during sex, so I'm all, 'Yeah, fuck my ass, babe, fuck me like a dirty bitch'. So he did.

About 10 seconds in I'm thinking this may be a mistake, 20 seconds in I know it's a huge fucking mistake.

I have a pain in my gut, and the urgent need to take a shit and his cock now balls deep, is the catalyst for potential disaster.

"Babe, you have to stop," I said, trying to remain calm. "Babe! Steve, for fuck's sake!" I say more urgently this time.

"You all right?" He finally gasps still pumping into me, his strong grip making sure I can't wriggle away.

"No, I'm fucking not!" My concern is starting to penetrate his fogged brain. "I've got to go and go right now!"

"Go where babe?"

Fuck's sake.

"You want me to spell it out? I need to go to the bathroom."

"You need to piss? Now?" He sounded miffed.

"No not piss you fucking idiot, I need to, you know," look I'm a lady, we don't go around advertising our toilet habits.

"Eh? Oooh!" The penny drops and the fucker starts laughing.

"Am I stirring the poop pot?" He grins and starts rotating his hips with his dick in my ass.

"Cut that shit out," I snap. "It ain't funny!"

"No its hot, come on baby, shit for me," he slams deep inside me, hooking his arms around my tummy and squeezing.

"Owww for fuck's sake you fucking bastard, get your cock out of my arse!" I gurgle, trying to unhook his arms.

"Sure babe."

The release of his dick was like pulling the plug, and I'm shitting everywhere, it's flowing down the back of my legs, and the sick bastard is trying to stick his cock in me again. I'm screaming abuse, can't stop shitting, and he's trying to quieten me down and fuck me at the same time, all of which leads to him pulling me up by my hips and me sliding back into my own stinking mess. I stop yelling now that I'm chin deep in my own shit.

I guess at this point you're thinking 'she lands in her own shit, likes it and ends up fucking him in the messy bed, yay!' Well, this is real life, so no it didn't. Instead, I elbow him hard in the stomach, scramble out and make my way crying to the bathroom. Shitty footprints everywhere and me trying to hold the shit still coming out with my hand.

I sat on the floor sobbing for 10 minutes, trying to wipe myself clean for another 10 and then grabbed a shower.

By the time I'm out Steve is bunging shitty sheets into bin bags. He looks up as I came through picking up some of my clothes. At least he had the decency to look a bit sheepish.

"Sorry babe."

"Fuck off and drop dead."

"In that order?"

"You think this is fucking funny?"

"Well, a bit and it was fucking hot, Judes."

I gaped at him in fury

"And if you think about it, it was you shitting everywhere, I mean who is the wronged party here?" He spread his arms with that cocksure grin annoying the fuck out of me.

It was the first and only time I've ever gone for someone. Steve was 6 foot and strong, but I got in enough tasty kicks and punches before he subdued me.

"Okay," he growled, "I'll let you have that, but do it again, and I'll slap you back and hard." His eyes said he meant it.

I nodded and he let me go.

"Rest of my clothes?" I ask coldly.

"On the chair over there. You missed them in the great shitting disaster of the decade."

"Fuck you," I said again. Trembling, I called an Uber and vowed never to see him again.

I refused to see Barry as well, which upset him, but I didn't want to see him and have Steve tag along with his shit-eating cocky grin, so I said tough. Danielle is okay with it, but she did ask why when Barry offered more money. We all knew Barry was harmless, so it seemed odd to her. I told her why.

"You really shit the bed, hun? Oh, dear," tears are streaking down her cheeks. Tears of laughter, obviously. Danielle was in her mid-forties, great figure, blonde and been working in the adult industry since she was 19. Nothing fazed or shocked her, and she wasn't big on cuddles or sympathy. "You, you shit the bed, you get it? Its an expression!" Danielle shrieked, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

"Yeah, I get it. Hilarious. Please stop, my sides are aching," I said crossly, but I was trying not to laugh. It did have its funny side.

"He stick his dick in your ass then boom! Shit bomb!" She mimicked an explosion. "Oh god, I'm going to piss myself!"

By now I'm howling with laughter too. She is a great woman Danielle. Love her to bits. Cow.

I say cow because it was Danielle's fault what happens next. A week or so after I reveal the 'shit bomb' experience, she rings me up with a modelling assignment. Great, I say. Pay is very good, she says. Even better, I say. It's fooling around with another girl, Becky. No problem, I say. Lovely girl, says Danielle. 28, experienced, friendly. Hey, I'm sold, I say. When and where? Next Tuesday afternoon, 2:00 pm. Becky works from her own home studio. I'm impressed. Pay is £500 for 30 minutes, maybe 45. Hour tops. That usually means two hours minimum in Danielle speak. Great, I say, so what's the fucking catch? Because no one is paying 'Jugs Judy' £500 without a fucking catch.

Danielle laughs. Which means the catch is fucking huge. No catch, dear, honest! Christ, it must be the biggest catch in the history of catches I think to myself.

"All you do is wear a strap-on and fuck her," she says dismissively.

I wait.

"So, shall I say yes?" Danielle continued.

I wait.

There is a sigh. "Okay, you have to fuck her in the ass. Her ass. Not your ass. Her ass."

"Huh, huh."

"Until she poops, but that's it I swear!"

"Huh, huh. So why me?" Daring her to say 'shit bomb'.

Danielle says it. In between giggles. Bitch. "Since you have had some experience, Judes."

I cut her short. "£600 and I'll do it."

"Done," she says promptly.

Cow. Knew I should have said £750.

Danielle gives me the girl's website, 'Bathroom Becky' and you immediately know what to expect, and it isn't advice on bathroom colour schemes.

Becky is pissing on guys, on girls, into glasses, teacups, bowls, outside, inside. Becky is also getting pissed on by guys, girls and drinking out of glasses, teacups, bowls, well you get the picture. There were a lot of pictures. I spy one with 'click here for Scat Promos' and honest to God I had no idea what 'scat' meant. So I clicked and then hurriedly clicked off. I then spend 30 minutes debating whether to cancel.

Thing is it's £600 for maybe an hour's work, where I just fuck a girl in the ass. It's not as if I haven't fucked a girl in her ass before, and been on the receiving end. These shoots are easy, and usually good fun as most girls in the biz are a friendly bunch, but I don't get offers of £600 to fool around with some banging hot babe, and FYI Becky is banging hot. Tall, leggy, busty, gorgeous, dark long tresses and a wide generous smile. I'd pay to bang her that's how hot. I mean, I wouldn't, but you get the idea. Next to plain, dumpy Judy Bellingham, this babe is a superstar.

I'll sleep on it. Which means I know I'm going to do it, but I can still pretend I won't.

By Sunday I've stopped pretending so I figure I would have another look. I don't want to go into this blind and have the shit hit the fan so to speak.

Okay, there is a free 'taster', so I'll watch that. It's Becky's 'Poop my Pantyhose' diary and first off the girl is good. She's intimate with the camera, lots of eye contact, engaging, flirty as she shows off her tan pantyhose no panties, pulling them into her arse crack and pussy. She has a fairly loose crop top on, and she jiggles her boobs as she wonders excitedly what her shit will be like today. Well, it will be like shit, hun, it's not exactly a fucking mystery, is it? Oh, how naïve can a girl of 21 be?

Next, she is on all fours with her pantyhose stretched tight over her magnificent rear. Filling the screen, she rocks back and forth, still chatting, telling us all to hold on and then there was this faint cracking sound, like when you ball up foil it sort of crinkles and crackles? Anyway, a brown stain appears and then expands and flattens in the centre of her pantyhose. I can hear her straining as it slowly starts to gravitate down her leg. She wriggles her bum at the camera and then half turns to another unseen camera and says: "Shall we have a look and see how shitty my arse is?"

The scene fades. Its a classic, 'time to get your credit card out', moment.

From the few stills I can see she is examining what's in her panties, I mean shocker, what can it be? Next, she's rubbing her shit over her arse, and not just her arse either. You would be hard put to find a place it didn't get smeared over. Becky was also in scenes with girls and guys, which I'll be honest, I looked at half squinting and with a strong cup of tea to hand.

£600, Judy. £600. Focus on the prize.

Come Tuesday, I'm heading up to her top floor flat above some shops, and I'm shitting myself with nerves. Normally a handicap on a job but not this one I think with sour humour. I had rung Becky a few minutes before to get the exact address, and the door was already open.

"Judy," she says, warmly embracing me. Her hair smelt divine. I mutter a weak welcome. Becky takes my hand and leads me in. "My your hands are cold," she said.

"Yes, it's cold today," I respond lamely.

"Now has Danielle told you exactly what we are doing today?" She says again, having already asked on the phone.

I nod. "Two hour video shoot." Danielle had finally come clean, no pun intended, on the time. "Opening scene I'm doing you up the bum and stuff and then you, well you know." God, I'm sounding lamer by the minute. It's lucky I wasn't a horse.

"Shit. I shit. If you can't say it, then we are going to have a problem doing it," said Becky grinning.

I pull myself together. "You shit all over the strap-on."

"And then I will smear my shit over myself and then cum," Becky continues.

"Okay with me," I stop. "And what will I be doing while you are smearing?"

Becky fixes me with a calculating look. "That Judy is entirely down to you. Fair enough?"

Fair enough, I thought as Becky shows me the studio. Sofa and chair in what looked like a viny material were sealed and covered in plastic. Wooden flooring covered in a sticky transparent covering and over that a disposable, plastic tarp. A guy, mid-fifties with heavy glasses was fussing behind a camera.

"This is Ken. He videos all my stuff. Have you seen the site?"

"Yes. I downloaded a free clip too." Next, I will be asking for a pat on the head and a lump of sugar.

Becky looked pleased. "I like a girl who does her research. What did you think?"

Now that was a tricky question given I haven't collected my £600. I shrug. "A fetish is a fetish." Seriously, what the fuck did that mean?

She looked at me and said nothing. "Dressing room is through here," she said.

"Thanks," she left and shut the door. I dumped my gear, sat in the chair and stared vacantly in the dressing table mirror for 5 minutes. This won't do, I said to myself and went to find Becky in the kitchen.

"There is tea and coffee if you like," she offered.

"Thanks," I brewed myself a tea. "Mind if I join you?"

"Please," she smiled, and I couldn't help but warm to her.

"I don't know what to think," I said. "About the site and everything."

"That's okay. You agreed to do the scenes though so you must have some thoughts."

"Well, there is the money."

"Honey, there are girls who wouldn't do this no matter how much money is on offer."

Okay, that was true. Although I figured if you put enough noughts on the end, most girls will let a tramp take a dump on them. Their mothers too.

"I guess I'll try anything once then," I smile.

Becky laughed. "I can relate to that."

"So how did you get into this?" I ask.

"Accident and a fondness for health shakes. I had one too many but no worries I'm heading for the car anyway, so get home and then let nature take its course.

Unfortunately, nature was in a hurry so I'm driving all clenched and sweaty and the traffic is bad and I figure I need to ease the cramps so a tiny toot or two can't do any harm right?"

"Ah," I say laughing.

"Ah, indeed. Anyway, I did one toot too many and before I know it I'm shitting myself and boy at that moment did it feel good. I mean really good. The damage is done so I relax and let it all flood out. Of course, now I'm sitting in my own mess, in a traffic jam. There are even a couple of cute guys parked up alongside me trying to get my attention, all cock and no brains. If only you knew I think to myself and then I'm thinking how humiliating this is and I'm also thinking this feels kind of nice, even the smell is fine because it's my shit.

I finally get home, luckily my parents are out, hop in the shower and chuck out my jeans and underwear. Car is a problem, and god knows how many times I shampooed out the car seat before I let anyone else in. My Dad thought I had a car shampoo fetish. Never did quite get rid of the smell though."

"So not scarred for life then?" I smile.

"Nope. I got a kick out of sitting there and no one else any the wiser. And then the delicious edge of worrying about breaking down or something happening, and as I said I kind of liked the feeling of sitting in my own mess. It had a squidgy, squashy feel as I squirmed in it, all hot and dirty. Really dirty," she paused and drank her tea. "Anyway, I then started fantasising over it. This time the boys in the car 'find' out and make me drive somewhere, and I have to pull my jeans down and show them my shitty arse and pussy and then they 'punish' fuck me for being a 'dirty girl', or I did breakdown and the big, strong AA man has a thing for 'shitty' girls and fucks me in my poopy arse and then makes me suck his poop covered cock. I'm going crazy with all these wild fantasies in my head."

I sip my tea. Listening to this gorgeous girl telling me her dirtiest secrets is fun.

Becky continues her tale. "A few months of this and I want to try it again but at home, no one to catch me. I get all done up. Short white, floaty dress, lovely white underwear, white stockings, heels, nice makeup and I pretend I'm at a party making small talk looking at myself in a full-length mirror. 'Why yes, thank you, this is a lovely dress'."

I'm snorting with laughter, as is Becky.

"I must have sounded like a lunatic," she says giggling. "Then I'm 'oh dear, I need to use the bathroom', but they are all occupied, so a kindly gentleman says if you have to go then just go.

Now I'm lifting my dress and looking at my lovely white panties in the mirror, and I start to try and shit, except I pee first, which I didn't expect which is crazy, because that often happens when you are trying to go, right?

So I'm standing in a small puddle of my pee and that feels hot too, like an unexpected bonus, and then I feel myself moving inside." She took another sip of tea. "You know when you get that huge feeling of relief? Well, this was it, but way better because I'm in my bedroom and I'm still wearing panties, and then I see them start to bulge and it's fascinating to watch as it gets bigger and starts to stain.