All Comments on 'The Bus Journey Ch. 03'
by angel_and_demon
- 12 Comments
Anonymousover 17 years agoMust admit that this is one of the most erotic thing I have read. Please continue!
Anonymousover 17 years agoI loved the slow intro to a very steamy climax. You have a very talented way of teasing the reader, and drawing them into the story. The adding of the sexy sister is just whipped cream on already delicous desert. Please continue with story, maybe a little incest?
Anonymousover 17 years agoThe POV shifts around a lot from first to third person. That's a little distracting.
lovercat2942almost 16 years agoGreat action and great imagination. It might have been a tad more tantalizing, though, if Tracey had come upon them a few minutes later than she did, providing a little true "coitus interruptus" type of action, but what you told is still great. And of course Tracey is going to want some action, too. I hope you continue this story eventually although now it has been quite some time since you wrote this.
One small issue: Since Stacey is telling this story as her own experience, why the sudden switch to the third person? There were a couple references to "Gemma and Stacey" by Stacey, rather than "Gemma and I." Anyway, that's just my observation. No biggie.
yrbluescureabout 15 years agoI just loved this story. I liked the naturalness of it, innocent and unforced...it was very believable. Until the last bit with the sister blackmailing her. For my tastes that bit sort of detracted from the natural and innocent and believable mood. A little glitch... Taut = tight as opposed to taught, the past of to teach. Overall it was a fabulous and delicious read. Thx!
yrbluescureabout 15 years agoI just loved this story. I liked the naturalness of it, innocent and unforced...it was very believable. Until the last bit with the sister blackmailing her. For my tastes that bit sort of detracted from the natural and innocent and believable mood. A little glitch... Taut = tight as opposed to taught, the past of to teach. Overall it was a fabulous and delicious read. Thx!
Anonymousalmost 14 years agoI absolutely love the characters, plot, buildup, storyline....everything for that matter! I think you are a very gifted, terrific writer and I can't wait to read more of your work! Please continue this story.....the anticipation is killing me! :)
Anonymousabout 11 years agothis definitely has to be continued! you can't just leave us hanging on the edge like this. brilliant writing. brilliant story.
