All Comments on 'The Call'

great start I hope!

More, please

Kate was badly beaten. Police did not take her to hospital?

I sure hope there is more to this story!!!

More please!

The woman was badly beaten by her BF. She would be physically hurting and emotionally devastated. While she would be grateful for the help and care, she would be not be flirting and making out with another guy that night--and likely not for days or weeks. The author moved this along presumably because he plotted only the one night before her family would arrive to take over her care. Her going with him was fine. Even sharing a bed. Wanting to be close or held--all fine. But not flirting & kissing & more. Not that soon. She would still be under emotional throes of the relationship-gone-bad.

Give that it’s been three years since anything new, this is probably an orphaned story...but anyway...

The concept sounds solid, but the word use and grammar needs a lot of help just to read it and understand what is going on. Please read it out loud as you edit and ask if there might be a better way to phrase something. Also, I don’t know if it’s autocorrect or slang, but there are times I have no idea what’s trying to be said or done.