The Call Girl and the Businessman Ch. 05

"I have asked you before and I will ask you again. Do I frighten you?" He asked in as gentle a voice he could with me but he sounded like he was going to shout at me sooner or later.

He was rather shaken with my behaviour. He did try this forced gentleness with me, but his voice came out with gruff undertones from want of trying too hard.

I neither gave him an answer, nor did I look at him directly in the eyes. I attempted a smile instead. I knew he would not hurt me physically, but he would have hurt me emotionally, and I would take ages to get over him. I had to put a stop to it before it happened, because I was already emotionally compromised. Just for tonight I had to put sex on hold.

Concentrating my gaze at the bridge of his nose, I shook my head.

He went back to his native Dutch and muttered under his breath "godverdomme" and other words I did not catch, and I shook my head even more vehemently.

"Please don't get angry with me. I'm sorry, Mr. Boardmann." I said.

It had been a lovely night. I did not want it to end in anger. If he really wanted my body, I would give myself to him. I just wanted him to like me again. I could make him like me again. I was one of the top call girls for the agency. I could do it, by hook or crook.

Instinctively then, I moved closer to him and pressed myself against his lean chest. I felt his beating heart racing to the dozen. I started planting kisses on his neck, and as my lips moved higher towards his chin, I saw him stare at me with a shocked expression.

"Please don't be mad. I can please you however you want, whatever you want me to do." I said softly, looking into his piercing eyes.

My lips hovered above his, and I pressed my lips against his. He was momentarily stunned and I took it as a sign to continue. I started unbuttoning the top buttons of his white linen shirt when he uttered the most astonishing thing.

"No, Lila. Not when you're like this." He said, in a ragged voice.

His voice was full of passion but he did not look at all passionate for me.

"Like what, Mr. Boardmann?" I asked, feeling very small and humiliated.

"Not when you're afraid of me." He said.

There was an intensity in his voice which reeked of pain. He took a step back from me, and a deep breath followed. His breathing was laboured yet he never took his eyes off me.

"I don't understand. I thought that you wanted this." I said.

I felt lost in the sea of miscomprehension.

He sensed my bewilderment and tried to speak gently again but to no avail. He could barely command the waves of his emotions.

"Why do I frighten you, Lila?" He asked, sounding extremely rough and his voice, guttural.

I was frightened by the tone of his voice. I was frightened when he asked questions like this. Yet mostly I was frightened of how I felt when I was with him. I wanted the stranger in the plane back. A friendly acquaintance, not a perceptive client.

"You do not frighten me." I said instead, downright lying because I had to get over my fear.

As he looked at me, his expression softened and he looked like he understood me somehow.

"I would never force you to do anything that you don't want to. You know that, don't you?" He said.

I nodded and looked down at his waist, concentrating on his lean torso for want of other places to look at.

"Why, Lila? Am I such a brute to you?" He asked.

I did not answer his question. It was complicated. I neither had the answers, nor did I know exactly how I was feeling.

"Let's not spoil this moment. Let tonight be pure. Let tonight be the one night where we appreciate the miracle which happened today. Let tonight be the one night where we count our blessings and not indulge in anything else." I said instead.

He gazed at me thoughtfully and kindly.

"Alright, Lila. I respect that. Today I have been blessed by the moon. Let us be in her light all night long." He said then.

Just like that, he was speaking in a professional voice. It was an effortless transition from emotion-packed to a voice devoid of emotional undercurrents. Yet the slight throaty sound at the end of his words gave him away. He turned it into a cough. I was touched by his understanding.

"First let me get some plaids for the both of us. I'll also get one of the settees out so that we can sit down, stargaze and enjoy the night view." He said.

He walked back in and headed into the bedroom. I followed him in and I saw him open the lowest cabinet drawer where he had quilted linen plaids stored. I could not help but smile. This man was a collector of all things linen, white and soft. Perhaps he did have a linen fetish after all.

"If you can so kindly hold these plaids while I carry the settee out? You don't mind being seated by my side, do you?" He asked.

He was taking into consideration my erratic behaviour. I knew that he did not wish to make me feel more uncomfortable than I already was. It made me feel worthless as a call girl. I should have had the heart of steel to see sex through.

"I'll happily sit by your side." I said, trying to show my appreciation at his gesture.

Mirroring my state of emotions, he smiled back at me with a warmth I simply melted into. When we were both huddled under the two quilted white plaids, we gazed at the stars forming a halo around the moon.

"I'm pretty sure that's the Big Dipper." He said, pointing to three main stars in a row.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that you're right." I said, feeling more at ease now.

I looked at the constellation and marvelled at the intricacies of the universe.

"Are you into astronomy?" I asked.

He nodded vigorously.

"When I was young, I wanted to have something named after me. My father suggested that I find a comet or a new planet that no one knows about. He was joking but ironically that sparked my interest in celestial objects." He said.

"And if I'm right, you did spend ages searching for that discovery unbeknownst to mankind?" I asked.

"Ah, you know me quite well, Lila." He said, turning briefly towards me approvingly, before staring into the night sky again.

"I had my father buy me a telescope and every night after school, I would be hounding the night sky in the hopes of finding that one celestial object." He said.

"I'm sorry that you did not find it." I said.

It must have been a great disappointment for a highly determined and ambitious child. I could empathize with the child that he once was.

"For the next five years, I kept on searching and I did not give up. Until the telescope lenses broke." He said, with a laugh.

"How did such an apparatus manage to break its lenses?" I asked.

My curiosity was piped.

"In frustration, I broke the lenses with a glass-cutter. I could not stand failure and I wanted to live up to that expectation. I think my father knew but he kept quiet. He knew how much I abhorred failure." He said, with a sigh.

"Do you still feel the same way about failure?" I asked, a little apprehensively.

I knew that his downward spiral and fall into the so-called abyss he referred to was caused by not wanting to accept failure. It was a painful defeat to him considering that he almost always had his way, if he could help it. He was brilliant of course, and failure rarely came to him in life. Nothing which he could not rectify, except for the one woman who broke his heart. Feelings always compromised even the strongest of men. He viewed failure like Judgment Day. He had refused to forgive himself and he saw himself into the abyss of no return.

He gave me a warm-hearted look and then he spoke in an unrelenting voice.

"I changed my views so much in the past three days. You helped me see the way out of this abyss; this path of no return which I had willed myself into. I now accept failure as part of life. You made me see that it is alright to be vulnerable." He said, his voice reverberating with emotion once more.

My heart poured out to him.

"I think that you try too hard to be perfect. Perfection drives you to succeed in your business but it makes failure unbearable." I said, before continuing, "Especially if you are used to having your way and people scrambling to your every whim and fancy."

"You speak with acute precision, Lila." He said.

He looked at me like an old friend would. I felt like an old friend then.

"But you're wrong about one thing. I have achieved my childhood dream of finding something special unbeknownst to mankind." He said then.

"You did?" I said, amazed.

I wondered which celestial object was named after him. This man's abilities were as unpredictable as his temper. Who knows if he had found a whole star system with his very determination.

"Can you not guess?" He asked, rather playfully.

"I'm not well-versed in astronomy. I'm more into whimsical astrology." I said, regrettably.

As he bent his head to look at me more closely, his lips nearly brushed against my cheeks by accident. Realising that, he pulled away, afraid that he should make me feel uncomfortable.

"I found you, Lila. Oh, God, I found you. You are that special discovery unbeknownst to mankind." He said.

His voice lost all playfulness and was a little unsteady. It took a while for the words to sink in properly.

"Not everyone thinks like you do, Mr. Boardmann, but that's really sweet of you. I'm flattered." I said, giving a standard answer.

I placed my palm on where I perceived my heart to be and we both exchanged the warmest smile yet.

"How did you arrive here?" He asked me then, changing the topic to something light.

It was however a vague question to me.

"You mean as a foreigner from Thailand to this country or how I got from my place to your penthouse suite?" I asked.

I had already given him a wide-swept, all in one, condensed version of my migration background two nights ago. I was not keen on going back into it because the recollections were blurry and I did not trust my own mind. I feared that I had lapses of judgment due to my drug-fuelled days. It seemed as if subconsciously I did not want to remember.

"I could have guessed that you would anticipate all scenarios. You are the one who made this recluse the comprehensive notebook." He said.

He smiled a knowing but impressed smile. After all, he had already seen my idiosyncrasies in action. He had been astounded not too long ago by my notebook specially prepared for him on places worthy to visit in the suburbs based on their emptiness.

"I do try. It's my infallible security system." I said.

"Which of the two do you think I meant?" He asked, with an impetuous raise of his eyebrows.

"Uhm...the simpler version?" I said.

"Ah, Lila. I'm afraid I am not privy to your definition of simple. You're pretty complicated to me." He said.

His countenance was a mix of contrasting emotions. There was a sparkle in his eyes but he had a resigned smile. He had accepted me for the way I was, but he was not giving up in his quest to figure me out.

"I walked from the end of the boulevard where my house is. I made a pit stop at the library. A few hours later, I walked to your penthouse suite. I walked ten kilometres in total. Then the arrival happened." I said, trying not to smile.

Yet I did smile anyhow. I found it comical. I had no qualms about telling him about how I travelled from one end of the boulevard to the other end.

"It's quite an undertaking to walk the whole distance. How about on rainy days, Lila?" He asked.

"Oh, you do know I love rainy days!" I said, practically gushing out without restraint.

"Are you implying that you love getting drenched in rain?" He asked.

"Yes and no." I replied.

"You can understand when I say that you're complicated." He said, speaking as a matter of fact.

"This time it's justified." I answered, smiling.

"Comfortable explaining to the overbearing devil? That's what you called me, remember?" He asked, winking at me.

"Oh, but you called me a little minx!" I said.

"You infuriate me sometimes, you know." He said, looking deep into my eyes, causing me to look in wonder at the nuances of grey in his very own.

"I love the rain. The pouring rain is like a gift from Heaven to me. When I am at home, I stand out in the rain; arms outstretched. Rain cleanses me somewhat. I know this is all psychological; all in the head, one would say. But if I was on my way to work, I wouldn't want to get wet, not the slightest bit. My makeup and hair would be ruined. Clients would not like it." I said.

"Do you own a car, Lila?" He asked.

"I do have a car. I let a friend of mine drive it. I'm not very confident in driving and parallel parking. So much parallel parking here at the boulevard and so limited parking spots. Anyhow I am not really interested in driving because I don't go out of the suburbs." I said.

"At least, I have another part of you figured out." He said, with the most satisfied smile I had ever seen from him.

I was silent for a bit. This was fine but I hope that his next questions were just standard questions. So he can talk standard talk too, if he wanted to, apart from his complicated, surreal topics.

"I'm impressed that you can engage in standard conversation; that of which is generally common in the average person." I said.

I was trying to stop myself from giggling. It beats me why I was actually teasing him on that. When I realised I was out of my standard code of conduct, I blushed real hard again. What in Heaven's name was I doing and what propelled me to such immaturity? This time I had no excuse. Two nights ago, I blamed his lack of courtesy and then sudden change in demeanour as a reason for my blush. Now I just teased him because I felt so downright comfortable with him. All this was despite the prior intense moments. It was always going to be contrasting scenarios with this man!

"Dear Lila..." He started in a deep voice, but that was all he said.

He looked at me in all due gentleness, and suddenly his gaze which had always pierced me, only varying in terms of degree, seemed to me very tolerable.

We both gazed at each other in the friendliest of ways.

There was a sudden gush of wind and for the shortest moment of time, the lights inside the living room flickered. I felt a sudden chill despite the white linen plaid wrapped around me.

"May I warm you up by placing my arms around your shoulders, specifically six centimetres away from the nape of your neck on both sides of your shoulders?" He asked, with a mischievous smile.

First I looked bewildered and I did not answer. Then I realised that he was teasing me too.

"I had to ask, because you are an extremely sensitive woman." He said.

His eyes held a mischievous glint.

"I'm not cold, Mr. Boardmann." I said then.

"Why then did you shudder?" He asked.

"I just felt like it." I said, boldly.

"Why are your hands now all under the plaid?" He asked.

His second question was more challenging.

"Because that is what the plaid is for." I said, boldly again.

"You normally tuck your hair neatly behind your ears. If you're not as cold as you say you are, why is your hair covering your ears and cheeks?" He asked.

He was not giving up the duel. And so was I.

"Why, Mr. Boardmann. The wind blew my hair away." I said, still boldly.

We were locked in a duel, it seemed. But I had to admit, I did enjoy this banter.

"You won't let me win this stance of chivalry, would you, Lila?" He asked.

"No, Mr. Boardmann." I replied.

"I'm not to be beaten, Lila. I am resourceful." He said.

"I know." Came my rejoinder.

He looked at me, his upturned face challenged by mine. Gazes locked, I saw that he was enjoying our banter as much as I was. Feeling a little shy, I looked down.

"Lila, I am cold." He said, finally.

"Mr. Boardmann, it seems to me that putting your arms around me is not what you need to do." I said, veering away from all my standard answers.

Gosh, I sounded different and suddenly I saw myself in a different light. Not exactly me, but an upgraded version of myself.

"What are you suggesting?" He asked.

He laughed heartedly. It was good to hear him laugh.

"Let me put my arms around you, like this." I said, wrapping my arms around him, going over the plaid.

There was no direct physical contact and I felt comfortable.

"Are you sure it's exactly six centimetres away from the nape of my neck on both sides of my shoulders?" He asked.

I giggled. He could be a funny man too. We sat in silence, lost in our own thoughts. I felt a sense of peace.

It was almost midnight when we finally went back into the suite. He took his medication and changed into his striped linen pyjamas in the bathroom. When we climbed into bed, he immediately lay on my lap facing me. As always, he was rather apprehensive but then as I sat straight up and gazed into his eyes, he knew that I was fine with it. As I stroked his messy locks of hair, he spoke to me.

"Lila, I want you to have the key to my penthouse suite. It is right next to you on the bedside table. Take it before you leave." He said, in a soft but clear voice.

He turned his head upwards to face me.

"It's not necessary, Mr. Boardmann." I said immediately.

"You can come in anytime you like during the day. You can make use of the facilities here if you wish. There is a swimming pool, gym, room-service and even a butler attached should you require. Anytime you're near, you can drop by." He said.

I must have looked astonished. Never had I expected the key to his penthouse suite.

"By giving me this key, do you expect anything more?" I asked.

"Should I expect more?" He replied.

He gazed at me with an unfathomable expression which I found endearing but I felt a little sad at the same time.

"No." I said in full certainty.

He nodded in acknowledgement.

"I don't expect anything more, Lila. I just want you to be comfortable here. After all, you will be with me for a month." He said.

"What if people see me coming in and ask me who I am?" I asked.

Chances were greater that during the day, someone was bound to ask me who I was, except Henry of course.

"You can say that you're my girlfriend." He said.

"Okay." I said.

But I looked at him, and hesitated before I spoke further.

"To avoid complications, I have to make it clear to you that I am not your girlfriend and never will I be. Giving me this key would not change the nature of our relationship." I said, quite forcefully.

"Lila, I don't expect you to change just because you have the key to my penthouse suite." He said, looking at me with that same unfathomable expression.

I nodded at his understanding.

"I'm giving you the key because you do not pretend to be anything else but yourself." He said.

He looked at me with all the trust in the world, and although I was somewhat warmed by his gesture, I did not feel too good about it.

"Please, I hope that I have not scared you away?" He asked.

"Are you sure you won't regret this?" I said, not giving him an answer.

"No. I want you to have it." He said, resolutely.

He loomed over me to retrieve the key from the bedside table, only to place it gently into my hands.

"Thank you, Mr. Boardmann." I said then, feeling strange.

I kissed him lightly on his forehead, and as he turned to one side so that I may stroke his hair, I tried to blink away unexpected tears. I turned to look at the golden key which I had placed back on the side table. It reflected the dimmed lights of the bedroom, almost taunting me.

An hour later, when I felt him his shoulders limp and relaxed, I knew he was asleep. I was feeling pretty emotionally exhausted myself. If I was not careful, I would have dozed off too. I gently placed his head on the velvet pillow. I was not sure for how long I watched him sleep. His brows were still a bit twitched. How I had longed to soothe that out too.