The Call Girl and the Businessman Ch. 06

"I have not given you gifts of any sort. I know enough that it is quite normal for clients to buy call girls gifts of some kind. I think that paying for your dinner is the least that I can do, do you not think so?" He asked.

He bent down a little lower so that he could view me more fully.

"I just wanted some semblance of independence from this arrangement that we have." I said.

Goodness knows why my voice was hushed up and I felt like a child asking a parent for permission.

"You do already know that I respect your free will and that I would never force anything on you." He said, gently.

His eyes seemed to caress mine with a strange lightness that was comforting, causing me to instinctively nod my head.

"Can you also let me pamper and indulge you for this one month? It is something which I want to do for you because I appreciate you." He said.

He let go of my hands, and now he cupped my cheeks with both his palms. He gazed at me with a tender intensity.

"No." I said.

My voice trembled even though I did not feel that I was afraid of him. It was a strange sensation. There were yet many unknown secrets about myself which I had yet to uncover. The pressure of his warm palms was deeply soothing, both physically to the touch and much more which went beyond the physical senses. If only he knew how much his simple touch had affected me beyond the point of reason.

"No?" He said softly, still cupping my cheeks and looking at me with tenderness.

"I could have guessed that you're headstrong to the point of being a stubborn bull, Lila." He said, somewhat acknowledging, but also respecting this feisty spirit within me.

"That's because my star sign is the Taurus- the bull." I said, feeling rather combative.

I was sure that it was the least flattering to liken a woman to a bull, but never mind. So be it. I will now be a bull in a china shop. I would state my case. I would say what I feel about dependence on him, although it would not be fair to him. I did not treat him like my other clients.

He smiled slightly.

"Lila, you've met your match. Here's one Taurus to another." He said, slyly.

The masculine stubbornness in him drove me crazy when I saw him head towards the vintage telephone which in my opinion now, had no right to be a real working telephone. It deserved to be in a museum display.

"It's only dinner, but it always starts with an innocent dinner. What if it escalates to more than you can handle? What if I demanded from you jewellery, expensive stuff and all that?" I asked.

He stayed where he was at the vintage phone, now grasping the receiver. I was glad though that he was not near me, for I would have lost my courage to speak my mind. When we were inches apart, I always felt a strange dizziness combined with a restlessness for something more. I did not understand my yearning for him, except that it made me intoxicated, and that I felt Heaven and the fall from grace at the same time.

"Would you have given me all that or would you have wished you could get rid of me finally?" I asked with a vehemence that shocked even myself.

I was not angry, neither was I sad. All I knew was that I was bursting out in crankiness.

He was stunned to the ground. He stared at me hard; his eyes held an intensity which was blazing with fire and ice at the same time. I did not understand, could not understand. Maybe I was tired of understanding anything about him.

"If you wanted the moon, I would have given it to you, if I could. I would have given you anything you wanted within my power." He said, in a voice which did not sound like his own.

He looked different, not in a disturbed manner, but overpowering with emotions I could not comprehend. His eyes; those eyes, they held mine still. They never let go of me. The grey wolf was in front of me, waiting. Pray, what was it waiting for? I did not know.

I listened, and I listened again, replaying his uttered words in my head, over and over again. It made no sense to me. It was senseless. But I realised that I was senseless myself to replay his words without comprehension.

"I know well enough that you are not out to squeeze me dry. I know that you have no love for jewellery or expensive stuff. That's saying something, isn't it?" He said.

He did not try to walk towards me, giving us both space to talk it out. We both stood in silence for what seemed an eternity to me, for want of my answer. I was now confused with myself. He would have made a very good lawyer for cross-examination, that I knew for sure. I was thinking about safeguarding him, or was I thinking about protecting myself should he eventually deny my expected wants and needs? Was I putting up a barrier for myself?

"I don't know what you mean. I have not made any demands yet, but I can, and I will once you fall under my spell. I would have you wrapped around my little finger." I said, in a voice which I did not relate to, because I knew very well that I neither made demands of any sort, nor will I.

I made some semblance of a threat. I did not want to back out from my stance. God, how difficult was it to pay for my own dinner, and how much this conversation had spiralled to something greater than just dinner.

The truth had come belatedly. It was not pride or principle which made me want to pay for my own expenses. I would have let all my clients pamper and indulge in my whims and fancies. Although Mr. Boardmann was my client, I had hesitated because I had grown fond of him, and I cared about him enough not to want to rely on him for anything. If I had relied even the slightest bit on him, I would never want to let go of him, but eventually I would have to.

It always started with that little bit of indulgence, and then it gained traction, until I cannot control myself. I knew he was generous. The financial reliance was a prelude to everything more. It was a door to expectations but it was purely a contractual relationship. It was business. I had to keep an objective stance on my relationship with him.

I expected him to get mad at me. In fact I wanted him to get angry at me now. I wanted him to see the futility in indulging my financial whims and fancies. The dinner was merely a symbolic image for what lurked beneath.

Yet he had looked at me thoughtfully, his countenance was full of the strong emotions which I could not comprehend. The grey wolf waited still, as if beckoning its time for something. He was not angry at me, far from being mad at me. I did not understand. Did I not just threaten him?

He left the phone again and in an instant was right in front of me.

"Oh Lila, however intelligent you are, you refuse to see that I am already under your spell. You have bewitched me, and I will succumb to you in whatever way." He said, in a strange voice.

When he was near me, I knew I was already compromised in everything that was me. I tried to move backwards more but my back was not strong enough to push the settee backwards. Instead I ended up arching my body backwards, all just to avoid him being close to me.

His scent; the musky saturation was brewing. It was getting stronger by the second and I was powerless against its spell.

He gazed at me with his deep-set eyes; he probed my heart with that intensity in his eyes. His very essence was his raw strength and untapped passion. I was at a losing end. I could not stop this incoming tide anymore. I would drown in waves of turmoil. I would get sucked in this vortex of the storm of his complex mannerisms and emotions. This was not what I wanted. This was exactly what I feared but something pulled me in, and part of me wanted to surrender. I wanted it in a twisted way. I was asking for it. I was partly willing and partly trying to fight him off.

"You are trying to protect me from what you perceive to be your bad virtues. But I know you're not like that. All that is good is you, Lila. I cross my heart. Trust yourself, Lila, because I do." He said, now his voice was soft and tender on my cheeks.

I thought that I must have died and reached Heaven. I did not want to cry but my eyes started to brim with tears. I tried not to blink. I did not want him to see me cry anymore. A crying call girl was most undignified. I think he had enough of me crying. He did not know how to handle me crying too. He had only made me want to cry more because he had consoled me and condemned his own actions. These gestures touched my heart.

I did not speak, for a lack of coherency in my voice. I did not even try. I shivered a little but I was not cold. Far from it. I was hot and cold at the same time.

"Trust me on this, Lila." He said, in a deep voice.

His voice intoxicated me. His eyes drowned me in a fantasy which had no end. I finally gave in. I nodded, and he felt my acquiescence.

"Thank you, Lila for giving in to this stubborn man here." He said warmly.

I blinked back my tears, and as I surrendered to his wishes to pay for dinner and my future expenses incurred, he brushed my hair back tenderly. I found it terribly soothing, just the way I wanted to be pampered. I knew it was hardly romantic, perhaps some would view it as paternalistic, but I had never felt more acknowledged before.

He then said, "I'll make that call to room service."

With that, he left me standing there, and the vintage looking telephone was in use for the first time in my presence. He barked a few orders into the receiver and it was all settled.

After he had made the call, he asked, "Was dinner good?"

I had not thought of the quality of the food. I had kind of gobbled it up. To have eaten it at such speed meant that logically it must be quite tasty.

"It was so good that I ate very quickly." I said.

Actually the other way round would have been correct, but I thought I would do some justice to the convenience of having been served food at my fingertips. This was a very easy lifestyle.

He gazed at me thoughtfully and smiled me a warm smile.

"I trust that you had a good dinner too, Mr. Boardmann?" I asked.

"Yes, Lila. I entertained some clients after work and we dined at the same restaurant where we met for the first time." He said.

I acknowledged his statement with a smile. I had never thought about the restaurant much except that the lightning was so dim that it reminded me of the potato eaters in Van Gogh's painting.

He finally took off his authoritative black coat, hung it on the coat hanger and with his expressive hands, gestured me to the piano this time, instead of the usual settee. I looked at him apprehensively.

"Shall I get you a drink?" I asked, quite eager to stir his attention away from the piano.

"Not yet, Lila. Come sit with me here, if you will." He said.

When he spoke that way, it was not an order but an invitation. I felt less compelled to refuse when I was given a choice. I timidly took my seat beside him on the piano bench, and looked at the frame of the shiny instrument. It gleamed like pearls in the dimmed lighting of the living room.

"I thought I heard piano music when I was at the corridor. Were you playing the piano?" He asked.

"A little, yes. I hope that you did not mind?" I said.

"Of course not. You do not need my permission. In fact play it as much as you like. Otherwise it's a useless piece of furniture here." He said, winking at me.

His good humour had returned and he had me at ease again with his jovial expression.

"Come, play something for me." He said.

I shook my head.

"I never had formal lessons. I'm not sure if I'm playing it the standard way, following musical methods." I said.

His sincere smile acknowledged my statement. I felt vindicated in some way.

However he said, "Personally, I don't think there is ever a standard way to learn anything at all. I think whatever works also qualifies."

I did not answer immediately. I let him think I was pondering over his views, but in reality I was really sure of my life principles.

"You're wrong, Mr. Boardmann. There are always standard ways and standard answers. Everything in this world can be categorized. Except when it comes to you." I said, honestly.

The words spoke themselves out. I had intended that to be a private thought but the spirit, who had until yesterday awoken from the crypts of my heart, surpassed my logical faculties. I looked at him in trepidation. Heaven forbid that I arouse him more today. I seemed to have that effect of provoking him without intending to. I do not wish to engage in a non-standard conversation tonight.

He reciprocated my gaze with a strange tenderness in his eyes which caused me to flinch. I felt goose bumps on my skin.

"Is that a good thing that I do not meet any identifiable standard?" He asked.

"It's neither good nor bad. It just makes your character difficult to read and to predict." I said.

"I'm not some book from the library. Anyhow why would you want to read me like a book? Would that not be terribly uninteresting?" Came his reply.

"So that I can cater to your every need. It's my job. I'm a professional" I said.

Or not, belatedly I realised that. If the past four days were any indication, I was like a novice in this profession.

"Or at least I try to be professional." I said, referring to my spectacular failures which he would have known of already.

"I see." He replied.

His eyes emitted a vulnerability but also a passionate determination for something, but what was it? I looked at him lightly, not wanting to be pulled too deeply into the vortex of the storm in his eyes.

"I have not made things easy for you. I have given you a hard time. I am truly a devil." He said, in a hard voice.

He shook his head in deep regret. He was about to hit his head with his fists when our eyes suddenly locked. He stopped his violent gesture midway. Immediately, as if quelled into obedience by a force greater than his, he brought his fists to his side.

"I have promised you that I would never hurt myself again, and I intend to keep to that promise." He said, not looking at me, but at his fists which were curled into a tight ball.

My spirit almost leapt out of my heart to reach out towards his. I wanted to feel him, wanted to know how exactly he was feeling. His very gesture touched me so.

I took his hands in mine and straightened his fingers. How warm and damp they were! He tensed at the first contact with my skin; his fists had clenched more forcefully into his palms.

"It's alright. Loosen up now." I said softly, almost in a whisper.

My voice trembled a little. I must have anticipated something too, mirroring his passionate determination, but I was not sure what it was.

Upon hearing my words, his fingers loosened up for me. I saw reddish nail marks on his palms. It had been a good start at least. I stroked his vulnerable hand a few times. I did not look at him, but I felt his gaze, ever so intense on me.

"There now, relax." I said, just holding his hand.

I saw the tension leave his body; the hunched muscles in his shoulders loosened like a sleeping cat. His body was now limp. I looked at him and I gave him an appreciative smile.

"You said last night that I was an overbearing devil." He said, looking at me in a sort of trepidation, as if he did not want to hear the answer.

"You treat yourself unkindly. You deserve better for yourself." I said.

I looked at him as I would look at a child. I was not afraid of him anymore. I was feeling protective of him.

His hand entangled from mine. In a swift manoeuvre, his palms were on mine. The pressure felt ever so soothing and comforting.

"And so do you." He said, in barely a whisper.

His eyes were on mine. The grey wolf in them was guarding me now, accepting me as part of his pack.

I melted into his eyes. I forgot about myself being there. All I thought about was him.

"I cannot be sure, but I hope that in some way that you do feel more at ease with me now?" He asked.

I looked into his deep-set eyes. I felt in them an intoxicating pull towards somewhere...did not know where, but it tempted me so much.

"You strange and mysterious creature." He said, his voice soft now.

He described me as such again, and I automatically shook my head in protest, despite the truth in his statement.

"Your eyes; how they search me in all their innocent light. Oh, how they intrigue me, Lila..." He cried, more to himself than to me.

He raised my hand and kissed it ever so tenderly. I felt the fullness of his lips; the softness of his raw strength from within.

"I understand you more now. I understand why you acted the way you did." I said.

"But you still are not wholly at ease with me?" He asked, interrogating me again.

"I try to be as comfortable as I can when I am with you. That's the truth, Mr. Boardmann. And I do want to feel comfortable with you. It is something that I'm working on." I said.

He smiled the most hopeful smile I had ever seen so far. How passionate his emotions were. He was truly an enigma.

"Will you little minx not play something for me?" He asked.

I merely smiled.

"Why not?" He asked.

"I don't like to play in public." I said.

"Well, there is only one of me, and I hardly qualify as public, do I? Unless you think that my opinion is that important?" He said, smiling mischievously at me.

"The truth is that I am shy." I said.

"Shy?" He repeated.

"The sounds are loud. Music tells a story. And you can listen to the fluctuating emotions of the pianist if you listen closely enough. It's kind of ugly." I said.

I bit my lip. I should not have told him that. It would have only imply that I sought to conceal from him.

He kept quiet.

"I don't think it is necessarily so. Often a pianist masks certain emotions, just like they do in daily life. We all wear masks, Lila." He said, in a serious voice.

I could only look at him.

"Do you, Mr. Boardmann?" I asked archingly.

"Do I now, Lila?" He smiled.

He seemed a little sad then.

"I don't know, really. I am sorry. It was an impertinent question." I said.

"Remember Lila. Nothing is impertinent to me. I am troubled and disturbed, remember?" He said.

"Not anymore Mr. Boardmann. You are healing." I said.

"I wear a mask all the time, Lila. It's a necessity. It's how I pull myself together- to not let people see the failure that I was. I pretend it does not affect me more than I would like to give in to." He said, in a resigned voice.

I brought my free hand to his back and tried to put my arm around his shoulders. He was of a sturdy frame, and he was so lean and tall. He moved closer towards me, letting me do so. He showed me his vulnerable side.

"Don't misunderstand Lila. I accept my vulnerability and failure now. But to the public, life must go on. I have to be that strong CEO. I must be able to lead my company." He said, in a renewed voice.

I nodded passionately.

"I am so worked up now that I hardly have a personal life, Lila. The only one I am seeing outside of work is you. There is no one else." He said.

My heart rammed within the confines of my body.

"This busy time shall too come to pass. Then you will have more time for other people, maybe even look for that special someone." I said.

"Is that what you think I should do?" He asked me, in all eagerness for my answer.

"Yes, Mr. Boardmann. I think that you are an eligible bachelor." I said, without a doubt.

We humans were all social creatures, were we not? I was not very sociable, but I liked to think that I could count Cherie and Penelope as my good friends, for I did not have any other.

His gazed at me heavily, and I felt that every fibre of my being was being scrutinized by him. Then without exchanging any more words, he unclasped his hand which was holding mine. He moved some distance from me, but looked directly into my eyes.