The Call Room

"I have to sit real still while you don't have to worry about hitting my little ones as much."

"Hey, I agree mine may be bigger, but you've got nice ones, I can tell."

"What? You've never seen 'em."

"Almost, one time."

"When?"

"Remember old Mrs. Schmitt? That night when you reached behind you for equipment your boobs stood out just fine. And then you'd bent over to fix her tube and your top opened up and I could see all the way to Kansas," she laughed.

"I wear a bra."

"Yeah, I know, but I still got a nice idea of what you've got and you've got nothing to be ashamed of."

"Thanks. I happen to like my breasts. I like their shape and I can easily pass the pencil test though sometimes I do wish they were a little bigger."

"No, you don't. Then guys would be askin' you out all the time."

"Do they hit on you?"

"Yeah, occasionally, but I generally shut that down pretty quick. I don't have time for guys right now."

"Uh, what about certain urges?"

"I can take care of them when I need to."

"Don't you miss the closeness of someone in bed with you?"

"Yeah, I guess I do, but I don't miss the drama that goes with dating; you know, things like whining and demands on my time; those I can live without."

"You're right. I can live without that nonsense, too," she paused before going on, "Ya know, honestly, being here with you has its own closeness and I like that, too."

Before Amy could answer, Bea's cell phone went off with orders for her to see a patient up on the third floor, so she hopped up, said 'Bye' and slipped out of the call room.

-----

The next time Amy was on call four nights later, tragedy struck. A young woman probably only a few years older than Amy arrived in the intensive care unit in respiratory distress. A whole crew of nurses, Bea, Amy and the intern rushed in to help. The woman's oxygen levels were falling in spite of one hundred percent oxygen in the mask. Amy quickly ordered a special kind of mask which kept a higher pressure in the lungs.

"No...machines!" croaked out the patient.

"Uh, this isn't actually a machine, you know, it's not a ventilator. You'll be awake, it helps keep the lungs inflated. Why no machines, anyway?"

"Pulmon...ary...hyper...tension...killing me...don't...want...machines," she gasped between breaths.

"Dr. Swanson, Georgina has been here many times with her lungs and she's been absolutely clear she doesn't want to be intubated."

"OK, Georgina, we'll follow your request. Can we please try this special mask?"

The obviously fatigued young woman nodded her head and the mask was strapped onto her and within fifteen minutes the oxygen levels were slowly climbing. Bea stood by adjusting the dials with her left hand as she held Georgina's hand with her right.

After finishing the evaluation and writing orders, Amy finished her note before the intern took over the management. She staggered down to her call room, still shocked at how young and how sick Georgina seemed to be. With the nervous intern staying by the bedside, Amy hoped she'd get some sleep but knew she'd probably wouldn't. Right as her head hit the pillow, the call came in for a STAT response to the unit. She ran upstairs to find the intern literally shaking with fear, Bea frantically adjusting the machinery and the nurses running around delivering meds through the IV. Georgina was nonresponsive and blue.

"Alright, what happened?"

"She just turned to shit," said the intern. "Things were going OK; she was resting and her sats were good. Then within two minutes the alarms went off, the sats fell and here we are."

"Give eighty IV Lasix in case she's wet," called out Amy. "Bea, what's the situation with the pressure mask? Working OK?"

"I think so. Let me get another one just in case," she said as she rushed out of the room.

Five minutes later and on a new pressure mask, Georgina failed to improve. Indeed, her oxygen level continued to fall.

"Afterload reduction! What have we got in the emergency cart?"

"Got a few doses of IV enalapril."

"OK, start with the..."

Right as she spoke, the heart monitor alarm went off and everyone looked up to see the patient had slipped into a terminal rhythm. One of the younger nurses ran over and began to administer chest compressions.

"Helene, that's your name, right?"

"Yes, Doctor."

"She's a 'No Code,' right?"

"I guess, but she's so young..."

"Wendy, confirm that her status is still DNR."

"It is, Amy. Still DNR."

"OK, Helene, please stop."

"But, Doctor..."

"I said 'Stop!' It's what she wanted. Anyone here with any concerns or questions?"

Everyone stared glumly at the floor and shook their heads.

"Please turn off the monitor. Bea, remove the pressure mask. I'll go talk to the family. Albert, one of the duties of a doctor is giving bad news. You need to come with me first, then I'll let you take care of the paperwork."

The visit with the family was heart wrenching. The husband sat stunned on the couch as he gently stroked the back of his sleeping daughter, silent tears rolling down his face. Georgina's parents were also in the room and the mother's cries could be heard down the hall. After giving the mother a hug and gently patting the husband's shoulder, Amy offered them a chance to view Georgina and exited with the intern in tow.

"You, uh, you were super in there, Amy," he whispered.

"Thanks. It's never easy. This is a time when you're not a doctor, you're a human and you've got to approach the task like a human, a friend even."

Back in the unit she told the staff the family would be coming in soon. They made sure all the other rooms had curtains pulled while Georgina had all lines removed and her hair was freshly brushed. Aside from her awful color, she looked as if she were asleep.

Back in the call room Amy plopped down on the bed, weary and depressed. When an older person passed, it was sometimes easier to process it and move on. Mrs. Schmitt had lived a long life and Amy had only a brief bit of sadness mainly because the old lady had no family and died alone with six or seven people doing horrible things to her in the last minutes of her life.

But Georgina was a different story. A young woman with a husband and a beautiful daughter shouldn't have died. It was a sick cosmic joke. Amy reviewed the care and was comfortable with everything they done and figured the fatal disease had finally caught up. As she lay there with her mind racing, she heard a soft knock on the door.

"Yeah? Oh, hi..." she said as Bea broke down and fell weeping into Amy's arms. She sobbed for a few minutes before sniffling soft and blowing her nose in a tissue.

"That's so fuckin' unfair!"

"I know, Bea, I'm bummed, too."

"I worry I did something wrong."

"No, the something wrong was the fucking disease. You know what it really is? The pressure gets so high in the lungs that blood can't get through and the heart can't handle it. She was on every med that's ever been shown to help. Nothing you or I or anybody could do a thing about."

"If I had just turned the pressure up a bit more..."

"You had it on max as it was. Look, you did everything by the book. Her disease was terminal and she was suffering. At least the suffering for her is over now. I feel so sorry for her husband..."

"And that little girl. She's so cute and....Oh God, Amy, I'm not sure I'm cut out for this work," Bea sobbed anew.

"Hey, hey. You are too. You're great. You know your shit. The patients love you. You'll get over this. We all will..."

"But it's so fuckin' painful!"

Amy pulled Bea into a long hug, gently patting her on the back. "Hey, lie down a few seconds. You rest while I do my final note on her chart, OK?"

"OK," sniffed Bea.

A few minutes later Amy turned away from her computer to see Bea had curled up and fallen asleep. She reached over and unhooked the phone from Bea's scrubs, laid it on the bedside table and crawled in behind Bea, wrapping her arms around the sleeping therapist. In no time Amy drifted off to sleep as well.

-----

Promptly at six am Amy's phone alarm went off. As she woke up she realized they must have switched positions during the night and now Bea's arms were wrapped around Amy.

"Hey, Bea, time to get up."

"Umph. Don't wanna."

"You have to. I'm amazed neither of us got called out. You need to get to your department before the day shift comes on."

"OK, but first I need a hug."

Amy rolled over and they held each other for a few seconds before breaking.

"Thanks for letting me stay. I was so upset..."

"Yeah, we all were. Come on, get up and, ooh, you need to wash your face from the tears. Hurry. I've gotta get upstairs also and talk with the intern."

After Bea ran a moist towel over her face, she took off leaving Amy behind. Amy wiped her own face, packed up her things and got ready for the day. After a big coffee and two donuts in the cafeteria, she perked up and went to the ward. Rounds were a bit subdued due to the death on the night shift but there were no major issues and Amy was able to leave by noon. As she picked up her bag and purse, she noted a small envelope on top. A card inside featured a scenic view much like one in the call room and a note was scribbled inside.

Amy, Thank you so much for your support last night. I don't know why things hit me so hard, but I guess I came unglued. You were there to support and reassure me and I thank you for that. In the cold light of day, I realize I love my job and any comments about quitting should be ignored. See you on your next night on call. Love, Bea p.s. I have to admit your arms felt good, too.

-----

Several times over the next month the two were able to spend time together in the call room. They were mindful of other residents sleeping nearby so they kept their voices low and spent most of the time either reading or surfing the net. Amy found herself looking forward to their time together. Bea was a sweet woman who cared desperately for her patients. She was compulsive about reconfirming all the orders and making sure the oxygen and machines were set up correctly when she came on duty at eleven pm and again before she went off duty at seven am. Amy knew she could relax about any oxygen related issues when Bea was on duty.

Over time they seemed to bond even more. When things weren't terribly busy, Bea preferred hanging out with Amy rather than sitting in her office with nothing to do. The two of them talked about their dreams and hopes. Bea was still not sure if Centerton was a long-term option for her and Amy knew after residency she might end up having to move great distances for a job. She was not particularly interested in a private practice but thought she might work for a larger hospital system doing either inpatient or clinic work.

On one evening the hospital was 'dead.' The few patients were stable and even the intern was able to sleep in his cubby-hole room. Over their lunch Amy invited Bea to the call room.

"Come on down to the room when you've checked everybody. Maybe we can play cards or something."

"Wouldn't you like to try and sleep?"

"Actually, that sounds pretty good. Maybe I'll do that."

"Then I'll stay up in the office."

Amy thought about it and realized she wanted to spend time with her close friend. "Hey, maybe you could practice your massaging again tonight, huh?"

"You just want a free back rub. I know you," laughed Bea.

"Hey, if you want to teach me, maybe I can try and give you one, too."

"OK, deal. I'll be down in ten minutes."

The soft knock let Amy know her friend was there. She came into the room with a smile asking, "Where would you like your massage?"

"Oh, here in the chair, like last time."

"It'd be better on the bed. Here, take your top off."

"You serious?" she asked as she pulled the scrub top off.

"Sure. We're both girls. Now, lie down on your stomach. Wait a sec', off with the bra."

"Why?"

"I can't give a decent back rub with bra straps in the way. Besides, you don't want the cream to ruin the straps, do you?"

"No, I guess not." She sat back up and peeled off her bra as she felt the cool air crinkle her nipples.

Bea worked wonders with her hands. Knots Amy didn't even know she had were worked out slowly as Bea rubbed from the scalp, down the neck and back to right above the waistline.

"Mmm, this is divine."

"Glad you like it."

"I'm going to give you a deadline for when you have to stop it."

"When is that?"

"I give you two weeks and then I'll insist you stop," Amy giggled. As the massage went on Amy felt herself slowly slipping into slumber. Eventually Beas fingers stopped their magic as she gently helped Amy scoot to the side of the bed before lying down beside her.

Her six am alarm buzzed quietly waking Amy. As she stirred, she realized Bea was spooned behind her under a thin sheet. What was most surprising was Bea's hand resting gently on Amy's breast. The mere thought of this caused Amy's nipple to tighten and a tiny shiver trickled down her spine.

"Feels good," she thought to herself. It had been nearly two years since she'd slept with anyone and wakened to the closeness of a bedpartner. While she usually slept with men, well exclusively except for that one gal in college, she loved the closeness she was experiencing. She gently reached up and hugged Bea's hand to the breast, a movement that seemed to wake Bea up. Bea jerked her hand back suddenly, apologizing over and over.

"Look, it's OK. You were asleep. You're not responsible for what happens when you're asleep."

"But that looks like I'm coming onto you."

"I know you weren't. Fact is, I kept holding your hand close to me. Felt good."

"Amy, uh, you told me you're straight, right?"

"Umm-hmm. Pretty much, I guess. But like I told you, I have, shall we say, experienced the softer touch of a woman and I have to admit I liked it. Very much."

"Were you just playing around?"

"No. Why?"

"Cause if you were, I might have a problem with that."

"What daya mean?"

"I hate it when straight chicks, straight women turn to lesbians for a little fun, a little walk on the wild side only to go back to men. It can hurt. It can hurt a lot."

"Well, the fact of the matter is, she came on to me at a party, took me upstairs and did it all. She knew I was straight and knew we'd not be together for the long term. We parted good friends when we graduated. So, no, I wasn't playing around, she was, and no one got their heart broken."

"Glad to hear it. Hey, you should get dressed and I have to clear out of here and do some lightning rounds before the day shift comes on, OK?"

"Yeah, you're right." The two got up, brushed their hair and as Bea turned to leave the room, Amy gently grabbed her hand. "Bea, you know, uh, you know you've become my best friend here, don't you?"

"You me too."

"And I was fine waking up with you like I did."

"Uh-huh."

"And I'd like to do that again. Soon. If we can."

"OooKaaay," she replied slowly nodding her head. "Uh, are you, uh maybe, telling me you'd like to maybe explore things a little more?"

"I don't know what I'm telling you for sure but I want you to know I liked sleeping with you and I liked feeling your hand on me this morning," she responded as she reached over and gave Bea a nice, warm hug. "See you upstairs," she whispered as she lightly kissed Bea on the cheek.

-----

Four nights later when Amy was on call again the hospital was hopping. There were several admissions and both Amy and her intern each had to see the new patients. As a result, Amy got next to no rest. It wasn't until four thirty or so she was finally able to make her way to the call room where she collapsed on the bed. She woke to light knocking on the door, swearing silently at her alarm for not ringing. As she sat up, she realized the alarm had indeed gone off but she had slept through it. Jumping up, she opened the door to find Bea standing there.

"Hey, Lazy, I could hear the alarm from out here. You must have been really tired."

"I was. You know how crazy it was last night. Now I have to go up and go back to work with less than two hours of sleep while you get to go home and crash."

"I missed being with you last night."

"Me, too, but if you'd been here, I probably wouldn't have known it. I was, I still am, totally exhausted."

"Get your work done and go home, get some sleep," she told Amy before giving her a warm hug.

-----

About a week later Amy was again on call and was looking forward to a peaceful night. The new intern was top-notch and could deal with most issues without bugging Amy. She checked the ER to find no pending admissions and went to her room by nine pm. While reading quietly, she started to nod off so she slipped off her shoes and snuggled under the covers, still in her scrubs.

She was awakened to a soft knocking on her door. Confused as to why the person hadn't paged or phoned her, she staggered to open the door. There stood Bea, grinning wickedly and holding a large bag slung over her shoulder.

"Hi. Can I come in?" whispered Bea.

"Yeah, of course. What time is it, anyway?"

"Four."

"Four? I got six hours of solid sleep. Amazing!"

"Well, things finally slowed down for me and I'm kinda tired still so I'll just ask: Can I snuggle with you?"

"Sure, gladly. Here, crawl in first in case I get called out."

They slid together and in the dark Amy turned towards Bea whispering, "This is nice, know it?"

"Yeah, is."

Amy was aware of Bea moving slightly before feeling Bea's arms around her. "Nicer with a hug, huh?" asked Bea.

"Mmm-hmm." Amy could tell from Bea's arms that Bea's face must have been quite close to her own. She could even feel on her own cheek the soft flutter of Bea's breath. Suddenly, with no forethought or planning, Amy moved her face forward slightly until her lips found Bea's cheek. She laid a soft kiss on the cheek as Bea began to turn her head. Another soft kiss was followed by another turn of the face. The next soft kiss met Bea's lips.

The kiss was a tentative, gentle touching of the lips. Amy could tell Bea was holding her breath, almost as if asking for permission to continue. Amy granted permission by kissing again but with more softening of the lips and allowing her tongue to gently tease Bea's lips. This kiss was more assertive, more interesting and definitely sexier.

"Sure?" whispered Bea.

"Mmm-hmm."

"Another one?"

"Mmm-hmm." Their kisses were soft, warm and promising. Amy found herself enjoying them and even getting a tiny bit turned on. The girl kisses back in college were purely a preliminary to their romps in the sack but these, these seemed to have a deeper meaning between her and Bea. And that deeper meaning was special.

After several long, loving kisses Amy felt Bea pull back and sigh slightly. "You OK?" asked Bea.

"Yeah. You?"

"Definitely. I've wanted to do that for quite some time."

"What about that straight woman you told me about months ago?"

"I'm in bed with her right now."

"Me? You're kidding!"

"Nope. I've been attracted to you from the very beginning. I can't begin to tell you how much your kisses mean to me now. But, you still need your sleep, so I'm gonna hold you. OK?"

"Mmm-hmm. I'd like that."

Amy rolled over to assume the inside spoon position in Bea's arms and quickly drifted off to sleep. The alarm rang at six, wakening the two. Once she silenced it, Amy rolled over back to Bea. Their lips came together for another few kisses as if to emphasize their comments from a few hours before.

"Mmm, we gotta get going."

"I'm off today. I'll go to the office and check out before going home. You?"

"I've got rounds and will need to do the usual things and should be out of here around two or so. Uh, can I come by?"