The Camgirl Pt. 54

LIV: Stupid Fucking Rules

Blake and Liam

Blake

Blake checked her phone for the fifth time as she waited outside the music building. Liam wasn't late--he was hopefully just getting out of class--Blake had just left too early. Her anxiety was definitely Liam's fault though.

Who the fuck sends a text like that, anyway? Blake thought, growling to herself.

"Hey, can you meet me after class? I want to talk," was all he had said. Even when she'd asked which class and where to meet him--though she had already memorized Liam's schedule at this point--he hadn't given her anything else to go on.

She knew it was about them. Her ultimatum.

It better be, Blake thought, Only a few days left until he leaves for Thanksgiving and I'm busy every one of them.

Though she'd tried to play it off whenever she was with Liam, the longer he went without bringing this up, the more nervous Blake grew. Especially since he hadn't said anything about the show she'd watched or three other snippets he'd watched since then.

Blake pulled out her phone again. Maybe she'd text him.

If he doesn't bring it up, I might just scream.

"Hey, Blake."

Blake jumped, then spun around to glare at Liam.

"Ass," she grumbled, trying to keep a straight face. It was hard. More and more often, whenever Blake looked at him, her brain got all mushy and gross and all she could think about was wrapping her arms and legs around him and kissing him.

Liam just grinned at her, "Jumpy?"

"Only when people sneak up on me."

Liam rolled his eyes, "Because you would never do the same to me?"

Blake sniffed, "Of course not."

"Sure," Liam said dryly. He motioned toward the east end of campus, "Come on, you mind walking a bit?"

Blake eyed Liam but nodded and fell into step next to him.

"So, you said you wanted to talk?" She asked.

He nodded, smiling, "And maybe grab something to eat if you're hungry."

Blake's mouth drew to a thin line, "That sounds good, what did you want to talk about?"

"I think most of the talking will be on you," Liam said, "I'm fine with it, by the way."

Blake was growing quite irritated, "Fine with what?"

Liam stopped and Blake saw his eyes dart around them before he looked down at her.

"I can deal it," he said, meeting her gaze, voice soft, "With you--" he paused glancing around again, "--doing what you do. I think I'm pretty much okay with everything, and if anything comes up, I'll make myself okay with it." He smiled down at her, "You're worth it."

Blake blinked up at Liam, "What?"

He raised an eyebrow, expression falling a bit, "You alright? I thought you'd be happy."

"I--" Blake started, but words failed her. Her mouth was suddenly very dry. Everything felt tight. Her throat, her jaw, her chest.

You're worth it.

Those few, simple words shouldn't have this kind of effect on her. She knew she was worth it. She was smart, disciplined, funny, kick-ass in video games, hot as fuck...

But no matter how many times Blake told herself that...No matter how many self-affirmations she did in the mirror every morning, how much money she made, how great her grades were or how much progress she made in the gym, she still had to reinforce that belief daily to make herself believe it. Her family loved her, but they didn't know what she did, not really. She and Chloe understood each other and had such a great friendship mostly due to their similarities. But Liam...

You're worth it.

The words echoed again in Blake's head, and she was pretty sure the reason every muscle in her body had tensed was because it knew she would melt into a puddle otherwise.

"Blake?"

Liam's hand came to rest on her shoulder, pulling Blake back out of her head. Even through layers of thick winter clothing, that simple touch felt so wonderful.

"Is everything okay?"

Blake had to get ahold of herself as she looked up into those eyes. The concern in his gaze and his voice only increased the danger of her melting into a babbling, incoherent puddle right here on the sidewalk.

"Yeah," she said, forcing a smile. Relax, you idiot. He's definitely going to run if you just start bawling here on the sidewalk after he said three fucking words to you.

"Yeah," she repeated, forcing herself to relax, "I'm fine. Just..."

For a moment, Blake didn't know what to say. Then she met Liam's eyes again and found herself smiling, "Relieved."

You don't have to play any games with Liam, she reminded herself, He's your friend. He told you you're worth it. Worth breaking up with Marie for, worth dealing with all the shit you deal with, worth dealing with you dealing with all that shit. Just tell him the truth.

"I'm really happy you feel that way," she said, barely keeping from stumbling over the words as she smiled up at him.

He returned the smile, "So am I."

Liam gestured as if to ask if she wanted to keep walking.

Blake hesitated, then reached out and took his hand as she fell in step with him. She shivered at the contact, then felt a comforting warmth spread through her as his hand closed around her own. Something bubbled up inside Blake, and she found herself grinning widely as she walked. This--just holding hands--wasn't something she'd ever really done or thought about. Not even when thinking about Liam.

That's because you've never felt this way about someone before.

Blake thought she had. Once. But she'd been wrong, and learned from that. The part of her mind that sought to protect her from that kind of pain hoped she wasn't making that mistake again.

How can I be when something so simple as holding hands feels so wonderful?

Despite the warm, cozy feeling that enveloped her as she walked with Liam, sneaking glances at him and sharing smiles, despite Liam's words to her and all the affirmations she'd just made to herself, Blake felt tendrils of worry creep into her thoughts. Sex, flirting, teasing--that she could do. Same with just hanging out and talking or working out together or playing video games. Stuff like this, though? Holding hands? Doing sweet little things that couples were supposed to do? Blake didn't know anything about that. Would he expect things like that of her? Was that a question she could ask him? Or would that just give her away?

You told him you wanted him when he was dating Marie. You can tell him this.

But she couldn't. She was too scared. She didn't want to ruin this wonderful feeling.

"You're really okay with everything?" She asked, both trying to reassure and distract herself. She tried to quash the skepticism she felt. Liam was amazing, but he had to have some issue with it, right?

Liam shrugged, "Mostly. How much of your lingerie comes from people buying it for you?"

Blake felt her cheeks heat a bit, but laughed, "I'm not going to answer that, and I don't think you should worry about it. Most girls have things that past boyfriends have bought them. Mine are just anonymous gifts associated with a handle. And technically, none of them buy it directly for me, since they would be able to see my shipping address. Just gift cards."

Liam glanced down at her, studying her for a moment, then nodded, "Fair enough."

"Plus, I don't think that will come up much anyway," Blake said, "I usually only wear stuff like that as something people will pay me to take off. Otherwise I--"

Blake cut off as they stopped for the crosswalk over the bridge, realizing what she'd been about to say and how many people were around. Her hand tightened around Liam's reflexively.

"Otherwise you what?" Liam asked, voice soft. Blake peered up to find him leaning down toward her, a bit hunched. Their height difference was a very annoying problem. It made private conversations much more difficult when they were standing, and Blake had yet to experience the benefits of Liam's larger size outside of her imagination.

Hehe, larger size.

Blake hid her smile at the stupid mental joke, rising up on her tiptoes a bit and lowering her own voice, "Otherwise, I don't usually wear any underwear."

She preferred not to, at least. Her boobs were perky and small enough that bras were little more than nipple-covers, which were usually unnecessary with her fondness for hoodies and her dislike of being out and about among people. Her pussy--even when she walked around all day with something in her ass--was usually pretty considerate. She got wet--sometimes just because rather than anything to do with sex or arousal--but her lips generally remained closed, keeping it all inside.

The way her body reacted to Liam was a thing of cruel irony. Her nipples got very hard much more often to the point that Blake had started wearing pasties to class when she hadn't bothered to wear layers under her winter coat. Her pussy was even worse. Not counting all the twitching and clenching that teasing Liam and looking at Liam and even thinking about Liam caused down there, Blake's pussy was hungry for his cock, and it very rarely liked to stay closed anymore. She'd bought a six-pack of cheap thongs a week ago and had already done some serious damage to them. Today, she'd worn a butt-plug out of habit, and she'd gotten all the way to the stairs of her building before turning back around to go get some panties and a bra.

All this ran through Blake's mind in the time it took for Liam's cheeks to turn red, and for the walk signal to beep. Blake tugged him forward, smiling to herself that even after all the teasing she'd sent his way, she could still make him blush. She hoped he didn't ever grow out of that.

"You don't?' Liam asked, clearing his throat.

Blake shrugged, "It's more comfortable sometimes. When I'm at my apartment, I usually just wear some long socks and a big cozy sweater."

When Liam was silent, Blake glanced up at her friend to find him still red-faced and cackled under her breath. Then she reminded herself why Liam had asked to meet up. She didn't want to ask about any problems he had with what she did, but she knew that she needed to.

"Is that the thing that bugged you the most?" She asked, "I feel like you've gotta at least have some questions."

Liam was silent for a bit.

"Alright," he said as the central part of the campus, "What happens in private chats? You said you do that, right?"

Blake nodded, "Yeah. I usually try to stay away from one-on-one, cuz it can get creepy. Usually I just do smaller 'private' groups, where it's just more request based. I have some rules that I send to someone when they request a private chat, emphasizing what I will and won't do. It's honestly not too different from what I normally do, just a lot more talking. Lots of lonely people out there who just want to talk sometimes."

"And if they are creeps?" Liam asked, "If you start to feel weirded out or uncomfortable?"

Blake shrugged again, "That thankfully has only happened twice. I don't usually agree to a full private unless they're regulars in my shows.

Blake paused, reaching up to smooth some hair behind her ear, but it was all contained in her beanie. She sighed, "Another thing you should probably know is that I have a notebook that I use to keep track of my regulars. I make an effort to get to know who they are and what they like, and in my shows, I make sure to reward them by greeting them and putting their name on my high-tipper board and stuff. I try to see them as humans looking to get entertained, instead of just faceless bags of money." Blake paused again, biting her lip before she went on, "But back to what you asked, if I'm in a private chat and I don't feel good about it, I refund what they paid for private, make a record of it and leave. I haven't done a one-on-one in a while though--I've honestly been thinking about changing my policy to just cut that out altogether, since I make enough money from my regular shows to make that unnecessary."

Liam nodded, a hint of a smile on his lips.

"Don't think that you had anything to do with that," Blake added, "I was already thinking about it before you came along, and I still might not do it. Some of the dudes--and girls--really just want someone to talk or 'hang out' with for a bit. Lonely people need some love, too. I also do custom videos sometimes. Those are a little harder to do with the dorm situation sometimes, but they bring in good money, so I'm not stopping those any time soon."

Liam just nodded again, "How long do you plan on doing it for? I know you want to work in programming, but are you going to do them both at once? Or stop once you get a high-paying job?"

Blake blinked at the question, wondering at the possible implications of it for a moment, then shook herself.

This is Liam. He thinks ahead--that's just how his mind works.

Blake wasn't always so good at thinking long-term. This, she had thought about, however.

"Probably until I'm twenty-five," she said, "Hopefully I'll have made enough money by then to just have some debt instead of crushing debt. I think that's also as long as I can trust myself to go without deciding I need lip injections or a boob-job or something like that."

Liam seemed both satisfied and troubled by that.

"Doesn't it get old?" He asked.

Blake shrugged, "At first, I thought it would. But now that I can basically get away with just a 3-4 hour show most days, it's not too bad. Gives me an extra reason to work out and eat right, and I'm pretty sure an office job would get old far more quickly, even with programming."

Liam snorted, "Can't argue with that."

"Anything else?" Blake asked as they came to the next crosswalk after the long block of central campus buildings. She glanced across the main street at her--and Liam's, apparently--old dorm. The prison-like towers made her thankful for her apartment. She looked back to Liam, "C'mon, fire 'em off so I don't have to keep dragging these out of you."

Liam grinned, then grew a bit more serious as he thought.

"What's--" he started, then cut off, thinking for another moment, "What's the...farthest you plan to go on your shows? And how do you feel about me watching them? Or watching your shows versus other porn, at least?"

Blake giggled at the way Liam's cheeks colored as he asked the question.

"As far as the second part goes," Blake said, "I don't care if you look at porn, dude. With my shows--ideally you would be..." Blake had to clear her own throat as she found her cheeks growing hot, "Ideally you'd just be watching from somewhere off-camera in the same room if we were hanging out and I had a show scheduled. Otherwise, I wouldn't. While the thought of--knowing that you're watching me..." Blake trailed off as shivers spider-webbed through her, pussy twitching at the memory of that last show. When she continued, she found her voice thick, "When I know you're watching me, it definitely...does nice things to me, but I have a feeling that might just get weird. What did you mean about the first part, though?"

Liam shrugged, "Well, I know some camgirls do shows with other girls sometimes, or their boyfriends, or they'll post things on social media of them just going about their day."

"You don't have to worry about any of that," Blake said, stopping for a moment to meet Liam's gaze. She didn't let go of his hand, "Have you ever seen me taking selfies or any of that shit? I use twitter to post about my shows and do a basic level of self-promotion, but that's it. I did a show with Chloe once so she could help me get started, and we hooked up a few times before that and once after. I wouldn't even consider doing that with someone I didn't know as well as I know her, and if we're together, that would be a decision that both of us would have to be in on. As for doing stuff with you on cam? Not going to happen. You're--" Blake cut off so quickly her teeth clacked together.

"I'm what?" Liam asked.

"You're tall," Blake said, looking away and tugging on his arm, "And hungry, and so am I. Come on, the dining hall's just down there."

"I wasn't in the mood for dining-hall food," Liam said, "I was thinking about some Bertucci's. I haven't had any decent pizza in a while."

Liam went silent, standing still despite Blake's tugging on his hand. Stupid giant. Finally, she looked up at him, "What?"

He grinned, "I'm not letting you distract me this time. What were you about to say?"

Blake glared at him. Liam just arched an eyebrow, blue eyes unflinching and far too smug.

"You're mine," Blake grumbled, turning down the street toward Kenmore. Liam didn't resist her tug this time.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't hear that."

"I said, 'you're mine,' asshole," Blake said, glaring up at him as he fell in beside her, "If you and I are together, that's between you and me, and no one else. No one gets to see that for money or any other reason, just you, and just me."

Blake turned her gaze forward after that. A moment later, she stumbled as Liam stopped moving. He caught her, however, pulling her to him, and suddenly Blake found herself pressed up against him. One of his hands still held hers, the other was on her hip, his arm wrapped around her. Something halfway between an "eep" and a moan slipped from Blake's throat as she looked up at Liam, and she swore she heard her pussy growl in anticipation at the contact.

Fuck, I need him inside me, Blake thought. She knew that couldn't happen just yet. She needed to look out for her own needs before those of her pussy. As she looked up into Liam's eyes, however, her resolve weakened.

"I like it when you say things like that," he said, smiling down at her. His voice felt like silk against Blake's ears.

"I know we still need to iron some stuff out," he continued, "But I'm glad you feel that way."

Blake swallowed hard, trying to think of ways to keep herself from knocking Liam to the ground and making out with him in the middle of the street. They were already attracting more attention than she preferred as it was.

"You already know I feel that way," Blake said, extricating herself from his embrace without letting go of his hand.

Liam grinned as they started toward the restaurant again, "I know. That doesn't make it any less nice to hear. Especially when you growl a bit in saying it."

Blake felt her face grow bright red. She no longer had any confidence that she could even get through a meal without trying to jump Liam, much less talk about anything serious.

But I have to. I fucking have to do it to make sure I don't get all fucked up again.

Blake doubted Liam would ever hurt her intentionally, but they could both hurt each other easily if they didn't get certain ground rules set before anything physical happened.

***

Liam

Liam smiled and thanked the hostess as she left their table. She'd seated them off to one side of the restaurant in a cozy, corner booth. Opening up the menu, Liam glanced to the side where Blake sat, blue eyes darting back and forth across the menu. Her black peacoat sat folded atop his navy one in the empty part of their booth, scarves bunched up on top of them. Blake still wore her light grey beanie, hiding all but a few thin locks of hair she let fall out. Her cheeks were still a bit rosy from the cold, despite the very cozy-looking knit sweater she'd worn beneath her coat along with jeans that would have matched her hair had she taken off the beanie. Liam wondered if that was just a coincidence.

She's beautiful.

Liam wondered if she believed she was. Given what little he knew about Blake's own insecurities, along with what he'd learned from Marie, he doubted it. She definitely knew that she was good-looking, and how to play up her looks, but Liam wondered if she saw herself the way he did. He hoped she could.