The Camgirl Pt. 54

The look on Blake's face when he'd told her he was fine with what she did still puzzled him. She'd seemed about to cry even after he'd clarified that he didn't have a problem with her being a camgirl, and Liam knew he hadn't mistaken the shock in her eyes. Were her feelings for him that strong? Or had she just been afraid of rejection? The latter seemed ridiculous to Liam, but he wasn't Blake. He was good at guessing at what was in her head and hoped to get better, but he knew he'd never be able to really know for certain what she was thinking at any given time.

"Liam?"

Liam blinked, gaze snapping to Blake's, "What?"

She arched an eyebrow, "You alright, dude?"

Liam grinned, "Yeah, just spaced out for a second. What's up?"

"I asked if you wanted to split the veggies as a starter and then get some pizzas to share."

"Multiple pizzas?"

Blake rolled her eyes, "Dude, you've seen me eat, don't act surprised. Plus, here I can take home the leftovers."

"Right, " Liam said, scrubbing a hand through his hair as he glanced over the pizza section, "Veggies sound good. You want the regular Bertucci and then a fig and prosciutto pizza?"

Blake gave him a skeptic look, "Fig and prosciutto?"

"It's good," Liam assured her, "and if you don't like it, you can just have most of the other pizza to yourself."

Blake studied him for a moment, then nodded, folding up her menu and setting it to the side, "Fine, I'm trusting you on this."

Liam grinned, "It's a little weird, but in a good way. If you like it, I'll make my own version some time."

Blake returned the grin, eyes lighting up, then bit her lip. A moment later she tilted her head back, "Ugh, that reminds me." She sighed, then met his gaze, "Any ideas yet for dealing with Marie? I can stay at Chloe's if things get bad, but I'd rather not get to that point. For now, I'm just kinda feeling it out as I go."

Liam didn't know what to say to that. Though she still popped into his head every so often, Liam had tried not to think much about Marie since he'd broken up with her. Now...would Blake be hurt if he asked about her? Would she think he was a jerk if he didn't?

"Liam?" Blake asked.

He sighed, raking fingers though his hair, then glanced over at Blake, "How is she?"

Blake frowned, "Not at her best. I've been trying to just keep busy and limit my interaction with her just in case I mention you or she wants to ask. She's doing a lot of stuff with her sorority sisters lately, though, so I think that's helping. Other than that, she seems to be keeping busy."

She glanced up at Liam, resting a pale, slender hand on his arm, "You alright?"

Liam smiled. Blake's hands were still a bit cold, but a comfortable warmth spread up Liam's arm at the touch, "Yeah, I'm good."

Blake smiled at that. Liam thought her cheeks might have grown a bit redder for a moment. Her smile was...distracting.

Thankfully the waiter came back at that moment, pulling Liam back to reality before he embarrassed himself. They ordered waters and the food they had discussed and kept one menu for dessert. Blake raised an eyebrow as the waiter walked away. Liam laughed, "I know your sweet tooth is almost as bad as mine."

"Yeah," Blake said, "That's why I don't order deserts. I'm gonna be all gross and bloated until I go to the gym and run a fucking marathon."

"Fine," Liam said, shrugging, "I'll just order one all for myself then."

Blake gasped, eyes narrowing, "You wouldn't dare."

Liam laughed, giving Blake his most mischievous smile. Then he sobered his expression a bit, "You want to talk about it?"

Blake raised an eyebrow, "About what?"

"Well we kind of touched on it earlier, I guess," Liam said, "But I'm guessing the whole reason you wanted me to make sure I'm okay with you being a camgirl is to establish some boundaries, right?"

Blake nodded slowly, eyes pointed down at her lap, "Yeah." She sighed, seeming to draw in on herself. Liam wanted to hug her, but something about his friend's posture made him hold back.

"I want you to think of what I do just as my work," she said, meeting his eyes. Hers were nervous, "Sometimes I'll have a great day and want to tell you about it, sometimes I'll have a blah day where maybe someone said something funny that I think of and tell you about later, and other times I'll have a really shitty day and I'll either want to vent, or I'll be in a bad mood and I won't want to talk, and I might just need--" She paused, clearing her throat, "Need you to hold me and not let go."

Liam nodded, "I can do that."

"You're also not allowed to follow any of my social media accounts," she said, "I use them just for my shows. That's it. If you follow them, you'll just end up reading all the comments and seeing all the shit people say. You don't follow any of them, and I'll try to make sure I don't post or look at it when I'm with you."

"Sounds reasonable," Liam said, "I don't really use social media much anyway."

Blake held his gaze for a moment, then nodded, "Sometimes..." She trailed off, then sighed.

"My head goes to dark places sometimes," she said, looking away, "Like when we talked in the bathroom that one night. Sometimes it's from my shows or something that happened, and sometimes I just wake up with a cloud over me and I can't shake it. I might want to talk about it, or I might want to act like everything is normal. I'll need you to get used to figuring that out." She glanced at him, then looked away again. Her hand rose as though to run through her hair but stopped when it touched the beanie. Blake sighed.

"I know it's unfair of me to ask that, but I snap at people and get really bitchy when I'm like that if they keep pestering me. I don't want to snap at you like that. I'll try to let you know when I'm in moods like that, and if you did something that pissed me off or annoyed me, I'll let you know, but..."

Liam reached out and took her hand, smiling at her.

She gave him a curious, slightly annoyed look, "What?"

"You do realize you just described how most people should act toward most other people, whether or not they're dating, right?"

Blake frowned at him but didn't pull her hand away.

"Is now one of those times where I'm the reason you're annoyed?" Liam asked, continuing to smile at her.

"A little," Blake said, though she couldn't keep the smile from her voice entirely.

"On that note," Liam said, "I think we should just agree right now that we need to be honest and open with each other. If I have a problem with anything, I'll tell you about it, and you do the same with me. Does that sound good?"

Blake nodded, "Of course." She bit her lip, "Liam, you know that I'm really sorry about that, right?"

Liam raised an eyebrow, "About what?"

"About Marie," she said, "It was really an accident--just me being stupid, I mean. I didn't do it to try and come between you--"

She cut off as Liam held up a hand.

"You don't need to apologize, Blake," he said. Liam had never thought that Blake might have done that on purpose, even after she'd told him how she felt. Regardless of how stupid of a plan that would have been, Liam knew that Blake wasn't that kind of person.

"It happened, and I've moved past it. I was mad at you, but that's because I had stronger feelings for you than I did for Marie. I just hadn't realized it or put it in those terms, at least. I didn't think of the open and honest thing because of that--not your part in it, at least. I thought Marie was being kind of sneaky about bringing other girls into things with us, or at the very least was a bit too into it, but I should have told her that I felt that way."

Blake shrank back into herself again, and Liam sighed. That definitely was the wrong thing to say, "Blake, I--"

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

Liam blinked. Not at the question, but the edge to Blake's voice. She almost sounded afraid. He sighed, "Of course I do."

Blake's eyes went wide, snapping to him. He tried to give her a reassuring look.

"It's only been a few weeks, Blake," he said, "And I'm not the type of person that can just cut off feelings. Will I still think Marie is attractive if I see her? Physically, yes. Am I still attracted to her? No. I still care about her and feel bad knowing that she went home and cried after I broke up with her, but I broke up with her. I wouldn't have done that if I thought there was any chance I would want to be with her again."

He reached over and took her hand, "I can promise you that I don't want Marie anymore, and that if the two of us are in the same room again, I will be so overwhelmed by awkwardness that I won't be able to function. Is that good enough?"

Blake's lips twitched in a smile. She nodded, "Yeah."

Liam smiled back.

***

Blake

Blake leaned back in her chair as she licked her licked her spoon completely clean of the last bits of chocolate and ice cream.

"Mmm," she moaned, "I'm gonna pay for that, but that was so good."

Liam chuckled. He'd taken a few bites, then said he was too full to eat any more, leaving her with at least two thirds of the cookie sundae. She didn't know if he'd done it on purpose to let her have more. Blake's brain was a little annoyed at him for that, still, but her belly had overruled on the matter, and was now very happy.

"You ready to go?" Liam asked.

Blake nodded, "And we're walking. I need to start working that off, now."

Grinning at her, Liam extricated himself from the booth and shrugged into his navy peacoat. Blake eyed him as he did up the buttons before handing her own coat to her. It was unfair how good he looked in winter clothing. It suited him. Blake knew she looked cute in her own clothing, but she didn't think anyone would do a doubletake at her when she was all bundled up the way she did at Liam. She preferred it that way, of course, but it was still unfair.

Once she was all bundled up in coat and scarf, Liam grabbed their to-go box with the leftover pizza slices--Liam hadn't lied about the fig pizza, and Blake had made sure to save two slices for leftovers--and started toward the door with her.

"I'm still annoyed with you for being sneaky about the bill," she said, shivering at the sudden chill as they walked out of the restaurant and back into the cold. Thankfully it was still just the wind.

"Not my fault you weren't paying attention," Liam said.

"You paid it when I went to the bathroom!" Blake said, exasperated.

Liam chucked, "Still not my fault."

Blake punched him lightly in the ribs, sticking out her tongue. She took his hand after that, though, as they continued to walk. When they got to the crosswalk at Deerfield Street, however, Blake stopped, holding Liam's hand tight when he started to walk across. Blake glanced up to find him peering down at her.

"Um, can we walk for a bit before you go back?" she asked.

Liam smiled, nodding.

Blake felt like she was melting.

Fuck, I want him so bad. But I need to do this.

Instead of crossing, they took a right, walking down toward Baystate and the brownstones that looked out over the esplanade.

"I need something else from you," Blake said after they'd been walking for a bit.

"What do you need?"

Blake stopped and bit her lip, looking down at the sidewalk.

You can do this. It's Liam. He's not going to reject you just for something like this.

Letting out a sigh, Blake looked up at Liam. The way he looked at her made her melt, but it gave her confidence.

"I want you to take me out on a date," she forced out, "Before we do anything physical."

Liam studied her silently for a moment, and Blake looked down again, "I want to feel chased after and know what it's like to get asked out. I've never had that before and I--"

"Blake."

Blake cut off, looking up at Liam as he took his hand from hers to put it on her shoulder. She looked to his other hand and started at what he held. A small white flower with long, yellow-tipped stalks rising from the middle.

Blake's eyes darted back and forth between the flower and Liam's smile. Her mouth had fallen open, she realized, but she couldn't figure out how to close it.

Where did he get...

Blake turned a bit and saw the bushes on the opposite side of Liam dotted with those same right flowers. She looked back up at Liam.

"Wanna go out with me?" He asked, holding the flower out to her.

Blake's throat tightened. Her eyes immediately felt hot and misty.

Fuck, why am I such a mess lately? I can't let Liam see me like this now!

Blake attacked Liam with a hug, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing him tight. His coat was a little scratchy against her face, but she didn't care.

Liam's arms wrapped around her and Blake almost collapsed into a puddle right there.

"I'll take that as a yes?" he asked.

Collecting herself, Blake took a deep breath and pulled back enough to look up at him.

"You know it's a 'yes,' cocky asshole."

Liam laughed and Blake shivered. She liked that she was close enough to feel how his chest rumbled when he did that.

"You're annoyingly sweet sometimes," she said, pulling back and taking his hand in hers.

"I can also be cheesy," he said, grinning, "Would you prefer that instead of sweet?"

Blake just stuck her tongue out at him and tugged on his hand a bit, pulling him forward along the street.

"Just wondering, though," Liam said after a bit, "What exactly counts as a date? Because I did just take you to dinner at a decently nice restaurant."

Blake stopped in her tracks, mouth falling open as she realized he had done exactly that.

"It's fuckin' Bertucci's, dude," she finally thought of. She realized her voice had sounded a bit exasperated, so she softened her tone, smiling at Liam, "I really enjoyed it, but I'm dressing in a hoodie and yoga pants under this coat. A date should be something I need to spend at least an hour getting ready for, and somewhere I would get kicked out of if I went in wearing this," she gestured to her clothing, then glanced back at Liam and frowned, "Why are you grinning like that?"

"No reason," he said, continuing to grin in the same way.

She glared at him.

He shrugged, "I just think you're cute."

It was infuriating how those words somehow came across as equal parts patronizing and endearing. Blake wanted to giggle and hide her bright red cheeks like some girl in an old cartoon. She also wanted to bite Liam.

Liam seemed to sense part of her emotions.

"Amused?" he asked, hopeful.

Blake shook her head.

Liam rolled his eyes, "I just like that you know exactly what you want."

You have no idea, Liam.

"I also think it's funny that you were so nervous about asking that," he continued.

"Oh?" Blake said, raising an eyebrow and folding her arms over her chest in her best indignant expression, "So you get amusement out of my distress, then?"

The fucker just kept grinning.

"Depends on the type of distress," he said, stepping closer to her, "Though I mostly just found it funny because me saying yes to something like that isn't something you'd ever need to worry about."

Blake tried to come up with a witty retort to that. Then she realized how close Liam was. Her eyes fixed on his lips and she felt her tongue dart out to wet her own. Blake glanced up at Liam's eyes, and found her gaze locked with his.

Liam's hand came up to cup her cheek and Blake shuddered.

"So, when you said nothing physical," Liam said, face even closer to her own. His voice seemed a little rough, "Did that include kissing you? Because I'd really like to do that, right now."

Blake barely registered what he said. His eyes had her in a trance, pulling her in. When had she leaned up on her toes? Blake's gaze finally unlocked from Liam's and her eyes darted to his lips. They were so close, so bitable...

Too close! Too close! Stop it! Stop it, right now!

"Blaahh!" Blake yelped, jumping back almost a full foot from a wide-eyed Liam. He seemed completely frozen by shock.

Blake shook her head, trying to recover and find the right words as she held her hands out between her and Liam.

"No kissing," she breathed. Her heart was pounding. When had that happened?

"Bad idea," she managed, dropping her hands as she tried to catch her breath, "And yes, I do realize that I sound like an insane person right now."

"Uh, it's fine," Liam said, cheeks red as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. The disappointment was evident in his voice, "You said nothing physical, and I--"

"Stop," Blake said, approaching him. She took his hands in hers, grinning as a warmth spread through her at the contact, "That's not the reason why I did...whatever I just did."

Blake frowned, "Well, it is, but it isn't. Also, I expect you to forget my weird shriek-thing that just happened."

Liam just grinned.

Blake rolled her eyes, then looked up and met Liam's, "I want to kiss you, Liam. It's just really not a good idea. I want to go on our date before we have sex, and if you kiss me--" Blake cut off, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, "If you kiss me, I honestly think I'll just push you down onto the sidewalk and fuck you right here."

Liam snorted, "Blake, you--"

Blake stopped him with a look, "I'm serious, Liam."

Liam raised an eyebrow, studying her for a moment, then his eyes went wide. His cheeks colored, and he scrubbed a hand through his hair, "Oh. Really? Uh...why?"

Blake bit her lip, squirming under Liam's gaze, "You just..." she sighed, meeting his eyes, "I've wanted you for a long time, my sex drive is way higher than most people's, and pretty much anything you do just makes it even more intense. I'm running out of self-control and kissing you might just be the thing that pushes me over the edge."

Liam continued to stare at her for a bit, then cleared his throat, nodding, "Okay. I think I can kind of understand that."

Tentatively, Liam reached out to take Blake's hand. She met him halfway, smiling.

"I like that," she said.

Liam raised an eyebrow as they started walking again, "Like what?"

Blake shrugged, "Just being able to hold your hand." She paused, cheeks coloring a bit, "I wanted to for a while, but didn't want to seem pushy or anything."

Liam laughed, "I think you're forgetting how oblivious I am. Until you told me how you felt, I'm pretty sure I would have just gone along with it and not really thought anything of it."

Blake rolled her eyes, "I know exactly how oblivious you are, Liam. I'm pretty sure you would have noticed something was up."

"I guess we'll never know," Liam said, prompting another eyeroll.

Eventually, they came to Liam's dorm, pausing out back.

Blake looked up at Liam frowning, "I don't want you to leave."

Liam glanced toward his dorm and sighed, "Me neither."

"I don't trust myself alone with you, though," she said, "And bringing you back to my place wouldn't be fair to Marie and would just be begging for trouble."

Liam frowned. She was right. He didn't want to have to part way yet, though. He pulled Blake into a hug, smiling at how she clutched at his chest. As he held her, Liam's gaze traveled back over to the building before them.

Smiling, he pulled back from Blake enough to look down at her.

"I think I might have a solution to that."

A/N: These two are definitely playing with fire...and I love it!