The Camp Ch. 03: The Coward

In the video, a large man wearing a khaki uniform stood up from behind his desk and walked in front of the camera.

"Do you feel like less of a man? Is your spouse or significant other treating you like shit, disrespecting you at every turn or making you a wimpy cuckold? Are you tired of the smirks, the offhand insults? The cheating, lying and utter contempt hurled at you from everyone you thought loved you? Do you want your manhood back? Do you want your dignity and self-respect back? If so, we can help make that a reality," he said.

"It won't be easy. In fact, it may well be the hardest thing you've ever done in your life, but believe me, you'll be much better in every respect. When you graduate from our three-month course, you'll be a better man in every way - physically and emotionally. You'll be able to take control of your own life and your own destiny and you'll learn how to deal with those who have turned your life into a miserable hellhole," he added.

Another man walked into the scene, wearing a denim shirt and blue jeans. He turned and looked into the camera.

"My name is Ralph Winters," he said. "Before I came to Camp Rollins, I was a wimpy cuckold. My wife treated me like shit every day, making me watch her fuck one man after another. I got tired of the disrespect from her and the kids and came here. Now, I'm in control of my life and I learned how to deal with the cheating skank. I'm no longer a wimp, nor am I a cuckold. I've earned my family's respect now and my wife is back to being the loving woman I married so long ago." The uniformed man patted Ralph on the shoulders and turned back to the camera.

"Ralph's story can be yours as well," he said. He leaned into the camera, a serious look on his face. "Are you ready to take control of your life? Are you ready to take back that which is yours? If so, call the number on the screen and speak to one of our counselors. We'll make all the arrangements and before you know it, you'll be on the way to a whole new life. Take that first step right now. Pick up your phone and call."

The screen faded to black with a phone number showing in large, white numbers. I made note of the number and called.

"Thank you for calling Camp Rollins, Elaine speaking. How may I help you?" a friendly female voice said.

"Uh, yeah, I just caught your ad on the Internet and I'd like to get more information about your program," I said.

"Certainly, sir," Elaine said. "From the number you're calling, I can tell you that we have an office very close by and they can make all of the assessments and arrangements for you if you wish. Just so you know, our program includes a three-month training session in scenic north Idaho that includes physical training as well as counseling, legal assistance and life training. Our program is covered by most insurance plans as a wellness benefit. Once you complete our program, you'll have access to our 24-hour support line should you have any needs. Can I set you up with an appointment, sir?"

Fuck it, I thought. This shit has to end.

"Yes," I said. "Please, set me up."

"Very well, sir," Elaine said. "I can set you up with an appointment for tomorrow morning if that works for you.

"Yes, it does," I told her.

"Good," Elaine said. "Does 10:30 work for you?"

"It does," I said. She confirmed the appointment and gave me the address, which was only a few blocks from the building where I worked.

The next day, I informed Doug that I had an appointment at 10:30 about a possible sabbatical. He wrote back, wishing me luck and giving me permission to take the rest of the day off.

When I got to the office, a man took my application and listened to my entire story, taking notes as he spoke. When I finished, he looked over everything he had before addressing me.

"I think we can help you, Mr. Bradley," he said. "You do understand this isn't a pleasure cruise or a simple walk in the park?"

"Yes, I do," I said.

"In fact, our program is very rigorous," the man added. "You'll do things you never thought possible and face your worse demons. But once you finish, you'll be a whole new man."

"That's what I need," I said.

"How do you plan to pay for this?" he asked.

"My boss said the company would pay for the whole thing," I said.

"And that's Acme Enterprises?" he asked. I nodded my head as he looked on his computer. "Well, it looks as though you are covered. We have a few things to get arranged first, but I believe we can fit you in on a class starting the first of the month. Does that sound good to you?"

"Yes, it does," I said. "The sooner the better."

"Good," he said. "We'll take it from here and we'll see you on the first of the month. Just one thing, though. You can tell your wife and your boss that you'll be gone the first, but we'd rather you not tell them where exactly you're going. Once you're there, you can send a postcard with the mailing address, but you won't have access to your phone or the Internet."

Not having Internet access would be tough, but I figured it was a small price to pay. The counselor spent the next hour explaining how everything would work. I readily agreed and went home, stopping at a steak house for dinner on the way.

To my surprise, Gloria was home when I got there and she didn't seem too happy.

"What's this about you taking a sabbatical?" she demanded angrily.

"What's it to you?" I asked. "You're never home anyway."

"That's not the point," she said. "You should have discussed it with me first."

"Oh, you mean, like the way you discussed becoming a prostitute with me?" I asked. She shriveled a bit at that.

"Stop calling me that, Goddammit," she said.

"Why?" I asked. "That's what you are, isn't it? Acme's very own corporate prostitute? We talked about this before."

"Look," she said. "Doug's not happy that you haven't had sex with me since all this began. He gave me the rest of the week off so we could reconnect. Please," she begged. "I know you must be horny as hell by now. It's been what, a couple months since we've had sex?"

"Try three months, 18 days," I said. "The last time was the night before that party where Doug and the Board took you from me."

"Mike," she said. "I know it's been rough for you, but it hasn't been easy for me, either."

"Oh?" I asked. "Sure looks like you've been having a hell of a time, judging from the DVDs Doug sent me. How many times have you been fucked these last three months? A couple thousand? Do you remember what you were doing on our wedding anniversary?"

"No, I don't," she said.

"Maybe I should show you," I said. "You didn't bother calling and you didn't even send a post card. Probably because you were too busy fucking that sheikh in Marseilles, remember? Him and his cohorts. You even joked about ruining my anniversary. Remember that?" Her face turned white.

"You know about that?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," I said. "Your pimp's done a hell of a job reminding me what you really are these last three months."

"My God," she said. "You must really hate me."

"I don't even fucking know you anymore," I said. "All I know is my marriage is dead. Hell, you haven't even noticed I quit wearing my ring two months ago."

"Well, you have a chance to reconnect with me now, Mike," she said. "Come on, baby, let's go upstairs and make love. For old time's sake."

"I can't afford you and I don't have any protection," I said.

"What do you mean, you can't afford me? I'm your wife, for crying out loud. And you don't need any protection," she said. "You hate rubbers and you know I do too. Besides, I cleaned myself out and douched twice today just for you."

"You're kidding, right?" I asked. "You've probably fucked half the planet by now and you can't understand why I'd want a rubber? Have you gone totally fucking nuts? There's no telling what's swimming around in you right now."

"Alright," she said. "Go get some condoms if you must." I left and went to the store where I bought a box of rubbers and came back home. I went upstairs and found Gloria in the bedroom, naked. She knelt at my feet and pulled my trousers down, taking my boxers with them. She began sucking my cock, taking all 7 ½ inches into her throat, while looking in my eyes the whole time.

She gave a great performance and I couldn't help but think she had this all worked out. I had seen her on video do this to a number of men. I couldn't help it - I ended up ejaculating in her mouth. She made a production of swallowing my cum - something she hadn't done to me before, but something she had done with many others. She sucked me more, until I was hard, then laid on the bed, her legs spread wide.

"Come over here and eat me out," she moaned. I shook my head.

"No way," I said. "I'm not putting my tongue where another man's cock has been."

"Alright, then fuck me," she begged, opening her pussy lips with her fingers. "Stick that big beautiful cock in me and fuck me." I got on the bed between her legs and slipped a rubber on my erect penis. When I had it in place, I moved up and slid inside her - and got the shock of my life.

I couldn't feel a thing. Normally, her pussy felt tight around my cock, but this time, I felt like I was inside a cave. I pumped a couple times and moved around, but still felt nothing. My erection wilted and I got up off the bed. She looked at me, shocked.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"I can't feel a goddamn thing," I said. "You used to feel tight, but now, it's like being inside a cave." I shook my head. "I can't do this," I said, going into the bathroom. I ripped the rubber off and grabbed a bottle of mouthwash to rinse off my cock. Then I washed myself with a copious amount of soap just to be safe. Gloria watched me, her eyes watering.

After I finished, I put my pajamas on and went into the guest bedroom, saying nothing to Gloria. She followed me, tears running down her face.

"Mike, please, at least come and hold me," she begged. I shook my head.

"I can't, Gloria," I said. "I keep seeing you with all those men and I just can't bring myself to touch you anymore. I'm sorry."

"Does this mean we're through?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe when I get back from my sabbatical things will be different. I just don't know right now. You and your pimp have hurt me too much and I can't deal with it."

"Maybe you should go find a woman and bring her back home," she said. "I'll even watch you fuck her if that will make you feel better."

"Two wrongs don't make a right," I said. "But I'll give it some thought. We have a few days before I have to leave."

I cried myself to sleep that night and I could hear Gloria crying as well. I was sick and tired of crying over her, over what she and Doug had done to us. I gave her suggestion serious thought, but decided I wasn't going to lower myself to her "standards."

When I got to work the next morning, Doug called me into his office.

"I hear you had a bit of difficulty with Gloria last night," he said.

"Yeah, just a bit," I said.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"You," I said. "You've ruined her. For good. And you ruined me as well. Are you happy?"

"Let's just say I'm satisfied with your wife's performance so far," he said. "And you've lived up to my expectation so far. As for ruining you and your marriage, well, I'm sorry about that, but you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, eh?"

"Is there anything else, Mr. Carson?" I asked, not wanting to drag this conversation out any longer than necessary. "I really should get back to work."

"That's all for now, Mike," he said. I nodded my head and went back to work. That night, Gloria lit into me.

"What do you mean, telling Doug that he's ruined me and ruined our marriage?" she asked angrily.

"What, do you tell him everything we say and do now?" I asked. "The fact is, your pimp has ruined you. He's ruined everything. That's why I need this sabbatical."

"Isn't there any way you can get past this?" she said. "It's just a job. I won't be doing it forever. We can go on as before." I shook my head.

"I don't see how," I said. "Look, I'll be leaving in a few days, so maybe I should explain to you how this is going to work." I pulled out a manila envelope and showed her the separation papers.

"What's this?" she asked. "You aren't divorcing me are you? Doug won't stand for it."

"It's not a divorce," I said. "It's a legal separation. It's standard practice. The bank account will be frozen while I'm gone. The bills will be paid so you don't have to worry about that. Normally, the spouse is given a weekly stipend, but you won't need that given what you make on your back. I won't have access to a phone or to the Internet, but you can write me if you want. I'll send you a post card with the mailing address once I get there. We'll discuss what happens next when I get back."

"What kind of a sabbatical is this?" she asked. "You made it sound like a wilderness retreat or something. I thought you'd be out fishing or playing at a lake somewhere." I laughed.

"No," I said. "There's a lot more to it than that. I'll be working harder than I've ever worked before. I'm tired of being a coward and I intend to do something about it. I promise you that I won't be the same after I get back." She looked at me, concerned, for perhaps the first time since this all started.

"You see," I added, "if I were a real man I would've kicked your ass to the curb a long time ago and I'd have put my fist through Doug's face. But the truth is, I'm a coward and always have been. That's why I'm going. I have to do this. For my own sanity if nothing else."

"You're serious about this, aren't you?" she asked.

"Yes," I said.

"What happens when you get back?" she asked.

"That depends," I said. "We'll just have to wait and see, won't we?"

Things remained basically the same between Gloria and I for the next few days - we went to work, came home, ate, then slept. I hardly said a word to her in all that time and we continued sleeping in separate rooms. A couple days before I left, Doug pulled me into his office one last time.

"Are you ready for your big sabbatical, Mike?" he asked.

"I am, Mr. Carson," I said.

"So, tell me about this Camp Rollins," he said. "Sounds like you're going to enjoy the fresh air. I've never heard of this place, though. What is it, a mountain retreat of some kind?"

"Not quite," I said.

"Then tell me, what are you going to be doing?" he asked.

"Working my ass off," I said.

"I don't understand," he said. "I thought the idea was for you to get some rest, maybe get some perspective on life."

"I'll get some perspective, I'm sure," I said.

"Is it really necessary to get a legal separation from Gloria?" he asked.

"It's standard procedure," I said.

"Well, I hope everything works out for you, Mike," he said. "Have a good trip and we'll see you in three months."

"Thank you, Mr. Carson," I said, quietly.

Gloria gave me a tearful farewell the day I left. After the last abortive attempt to have sex, we never tried again, and frankly, the idea of having sex with her sickened me. I'm not sure if that bothered her or not, but she acted as though it did.

"Please remember that I really do love you," she said.

"I will," I said, purposefully not telling her that I loved her. I wondered if she even noticed.

The first month at Camp Rollins was the hardest. My eyes were opened the day I arrived. The instructors were the harshest individuals I had ever encountered and they seemed to take great delight in hurling insults at us. One even called me an "illiterate cum bubble."

They worked us from before sunrise to after sunset, making us run everywhere we went. For a while, I was reminded of all those movies about Marine boot camp. I was in constant agony from the workouts and the runs, but at least I wasn't alone.

I sent Gloria a postcard with a mailing address, which was a post office box located at a small town somewhere in the area. I never received a letter from her, but did get weekly updates from the investigators watching her. It seemed she had been a very busy girl.

I also received a DVD from Doug every week. Apparently, Gloria had given him the mailing address. What he didn't know is that I had no way of looking at what was on the DVDs since I had no computer. I kept them anyway, since I figured I would need all the evidence I could get of Gloria's adultery.

The second month started with a group session in which we all had to tell our individual stories. That was hard for me to do, but I'm sure it was also hard for everyone else. Fortunately, no one belittled us or made us feel bad about our situations.

The rest of the month was split between counseling and physical training along with training in hand-to-hand combat. The counselor helped me get over my cowardice and I could see the benefit of the physical training in the mirror. Gone was the skinny kid who walked away as his boss prepared to fuck his wife. This was truly a whole new person.

I still heard nothing from Gloria, and didn't even receive a card from her on my birthday. I did, however, get a snarky note from Doug informing me that my wife had outdone herself on her last overseas trip, helping the company land a huge contract. That was accompanied with a DVD that got added to the pile.

"Show me your war face, Bradley!" the instructor yelled in my face, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Aaaaarghhhhhh!" I yelled, hoping the anger on my face satisfied the instructor.

"What the fuck was that?" the instructor asked, his campaign hat nearly touching my forehead. "My ninety-year-old grandmother can sound off louder than that."

"AAAAAAARRRGGHHHHHH!" I screamed in response. He turned me toward a bale of tightly-packed hay.

"Take a look," he said. "There's your boss, and he's fucking your whore wife in the ass. They're both laughing at you. What are you gonna do?" As I looked, the bale of hay began to take on Doug's appearance, and I could visualize him fucking Gloria in the ass. In my mind, they both looked back at me and were laughing.

"KILLLLLL!" I screamed. The instructor put a large fighting knife in my hand.

"Then do it," he whispered in my ear. I plunged the knife as far as I could into the hay, but it wasn't easy, yelling as I did so. "Twist that knife," the instructor said. I twisted it, imagining Doug's lifeblood pouring over my hand.

"Not bad," the instructor said. "Who knows, the next time you get attacked by a bale of hay you might just survive." He took the knife from me. "Now, get over there and give me 100 bends and thrusts," he commanded, pointing to a sandy area where several others were doing the same thing. "NEXT," he yelled as I ran to do his bidding.

The third and final month of our training was soon upon us, and we were all given legal orientation along with more physical training and counseling. The lawyer assigned to my case had already looked over everything I had provided, including the DVDs, my employment contract and the reports from the private investigators.

"Well, Mr. Bradley," he said. "It looks to me like you have several issues that need to be addressed. We'll do the divorce papers, if you wish, citing adultery, abandonment and cruelty, since that's allowed in your state."

"But I was told I couldn't file for a divorce," I said. "My boss said I'd be fired."

"He can't do that," the lawyer said. "In fact, your entire employment contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. There's a number of issues with it, so I've forwarded it along with my report to a specialist in your state for further action. Her name is Danni Williams, and she's the best there is. Tough as nails, from what I've heard. She'll be in touch with you after you graduate if that's okay."

"It is," I said. "How much will it cost me to have her take care of it?"